When Professor and Zen master Suzuki Daisetz was asked what was it like to have true happiness, he said:

Well, it’s like ordinary, everyday experience, except about two inches off the ground.

After more than a decade of trying to attain happiness, I’ve recently done it. I’ve scaled the mountain. Slayed the beast. But you know what? It was a complete waste of time.

Hopefully, I can save you a decade or two on your fruitless journey to happiness. I’m going to go against the self-help gurus, productivity bloggers and all other forms of how-to crap designed to sell you something and tell you how to do it. Right now, in one simple step.

Ready? OK. Here it goes:

Stop.

Kind of a let down, huh? Here’s a little expanding on that simple step:

Stop saying you should be happy.
Stop saying you want to be happy.
Stop saying you need to be happy.
Stop reading how-to books.
Stop worrying.
Stop telling people you’re happy when you’re not.
Stop telling people you’re depressed.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Stop asking others how to be happy.
Stop running away.
Stop chasing.
Stop thinking an ancient philosophy is the answer.
Stop writing happiness to-do lists.
Stop thinking there’s a formula or method to being happy. (I’m looking at you, “The Happiness Project”.)
Stop feeling guilty.
Stop following other’s advice.
Stop thinking money will make you happy.
Stop saying stop.
Stop being unhappy.

It’s precisely the things that we think we want, need or should be doing, that keep us from being happy. I know because I’m guilty of every single one of the listed items – and then some.

Humans are goal oriented. It’s ingrained in our DNA. We get hungry, we eat. We itch, we scratch. At our core, we’re very simple beings. This is a wonderful way to be when the required results are things like food or shelter.

Unfortunately, it’s awful for the intangibles. Things like: goodness, peace of mind, sanity, happiness, personality, courage and so on. It’s no wonder that our first instinct is to seek out some tangible items or methodology or teacher to help us obtain happiness. It’s all we know! It’s how we negotiate life.

In order to be happy, we have to stop searching for it and actually be happy. You will never “find” or “attain” happiness. It’s no coincidence the title of this article includes “be happy” and not “get happy” or “find happiness”. It’s not something you can acquire or manufacture. It’s already here. It’s like an eye trying to see itself, or a tongue trying to taste itself, or an ear trying to hear itself. It’s impossible to find because we’re so busy looking for it, we fail to realize it was here all along.

That’s it. If you want to be happy, stop trying to be happy.

Sounds simple, right? It is.

I forgot to add one last item to the list:

Stop writing articles about how to be happy.

Photo: BlauEarth