Things I “accidentally” leave lying around and conspicuously displayed when she comes back to my place:
- A photo of me and a hot ex.
You know the golden rule: Girls love guys who are loved by other girls. Be careful with this ploy, you’ll need total plausible deniability. If she suspects that you intentionally left an ex photo in full view for her to stumble across you’ll spend more time explaining yourself and less time adding a new photo to your collection. My advice is to have a few other photos of random scenes that don’t include your exes strewn haphazardly across your desk or coffee table (but make sure the ex pic is prominent so her eye will go there first), with a photo album nearby, so that it looks like you were in the middle of updating the album. Also, you’ll need a solid story for why you have an ex photo that doesn’t lead her to believe you are still hung up on your ex and masturbating to old pics of her in the middle of the night. When she finds the pic, just say “Oh yeah, forgot about her. It’s funny how much stuff we forget organizing old photos.”
Adorable pictures of little nieces and nephews sitting in your lap or on your shoulders work well, too. Your computer’s screensaver is very handy for this sort of photo game.
Note: Old school print photos that are curling at the edges pack a more powerful emotional punch than photos on LCD screens.
- A baby book of myself.
Actually, I really did leave this lying around accidentally when my mother gave me a box of stuff from her attic to keep. To my pleasant surprise, it worked like a charm many times because I was much cuter at three than I am now, plus there is a lock of my toddler hair in there that always elicits an “aww”, but I decided it sent too many nesting signals and not enough jackhammering signals, so I have since packed it away out of sight.
- My guitar
I play guitar as a hobby so there is nothing deliberate about its display, except that I have it propped up near my bed. I’ve serenaded girls from various points in my place and come to the conclusion that strumming a tune for her on the bed is the best location. Some guys like to do their serenading from the living room since that’s where the girl will be sitting when she first arrives, and playing a song for her is an excellent mood-building routine in the early stages of the seduction phase of the pickup. But I have artsy black and white photographs I’ve shot hanging on the wall to do that for me, so I save my guitar playing for later in the bedroom where one 30 second song verse can obviate the need for a half hour of foreplay. Spanish Ballad will blow away last minute resistance better than hours of grinding tactical retreats and freeze-outs.
- A book on Tantric sex
For “spiritual enlightenment” purposes. This is the only subliminal message porn you’ll be able to non-creepily display in the open. For this reason, I’m always rushing to minimize my “erotica” folder on the monitor when she goes to the bathroom.
- Fresh flowers in a vase
What guy keeps fresh flowers in his place? Her mind will reel at the possibilities, most likely imagining you have other girls giving you flowers for your lovemaking prowess. If she’s thinking that, it cuts your work in half. If she asks, evade.
Her: “Did you get those flowers yourself?”
You: “They smell good, don’t they? Go ahead, take a whiff. I like the uplifting mood they add to the room.”
If she presses:
Her: “So who got them?”
You: “I have a secret admirer at work. I may as well keep them. Who throws out fresh flowers?”
NOTE: Dead flowers in a vase sends the wrong message. It says you’re either too lazy to dump them in the trash or you’re lamenting an ex who gave you those flowers months ago. Only Europeans are allowed to keep dried up flowers as display pieces.
- SLR camera on a tripod
What do you take pictures of?
Whatever my art demands.
Any people?
If they’re right for the camera.
Am I right for the camera?
As you are, maybe. Stand over there.
So, what do you think?
There’s potential. But you wouldn’t be able to do nudes.
Why not?
It’s a gift. Only a few women have the aura to hold the camera’s attention in the nude.
You’re wrong! I’m sure I would have the aura.
We’ll see. I could be wrong, but not usually.
- Cookbooks
Don’t bother learning how to cook. Just have a few cookbooks on the shelf where she can see them and the effect will be the same. Tell her you’ll cook for her “one day”, and keep putting it off.
- Stripper pole
I’m holding it for a friend.
hilarious
You know, I’m certain that all of this would work very well and I congratulate you on your powers of observation where women’s weaknesses are concerned. I do wonder, though, whether you aren’t giving away too much of your strategy in these posts. Do you never worry that one of your dates might be a blog-reader, one who has read one of your posts on this and similar subjects, and who will walk into your apt. and say, “Funny, this looks awfully familiar”?
clio,
Men like women with clear skin, big eyes and healthy h:w ratios. Even though I know this it doesn’t take away from the impact of seeing a woman who has these traits and doesn’t diminish if I know she’s wearing something that emphasizes those traits (eye makeup, flattering clothes, etc.).
Also, don’t underestimate self-deception; once a woman is attracted enough to make it to a man’s apartment, she’s willing to be persuaded that he’s as attractive as she thought he was.
Lots of PUA’s are pushing hookah pipes too.
I have an anal beads joke but I just can’t frame it right. Damn it why did I have to go to the strip club last night!
This post was hilarious and on-point. Only thing I’d disagree on is tantric sex book, only because it creates some damn high expectations!
“You know, I’m certain that all of this would work very well and I congratulate you on your powers of observation where women’s weaknesses are concerned. I do wonder, though, whether you aren’t giving away too much of your strategy in these posts. Do you never worry that one of your dates might be a blog-reader, one who has read one of your posts on this and similar subjects, and who will walk into your apt. and say, “Funny, this looks awfully familiar”?”
Well, at least Roissy doesn’t print pictures of himself, so he has a little more freedom than Roosh (another DC guy who blogs about alpha/beta dating habits).
Good stuff, though the wish-fulfillment dialogues are a little over the top.
Normally I’m with you about 98% on all your posts, but this one? I hate to say it, so I’ll use the words of a wise man George Lopez… Mas Puto!
The only things not gay in here are the stripper pole and the ex photo. And since most chicks without aids would leave the minute they saw the pole, we are left with the photo. The rest scream beta sensitive guy that cries himself to sleep while listening to Kenny G.
With all do respect c’mon Roissy.
The only prop I have in the bachelor pad is a cute, naked girl in the bed, sleeping off our last session.
Beta!
You taught me not to care what she thinks.
If you want her to feel welcome and comfortable at your house/apt Have the following in done/in view
* should be seen in bathroom
1.Vodka
2.Chocolate in a bowl
3.Vacuum the dump
4.clean towels*
5.Vodka
6.Chocolate
7. Toilet paper/kleenex*
8.Chocolate
9.toothpaste
10.Vodka*
11. Clean sheets
12. chocolate infused Vodka
13.clean glasses to drink vodka from
14.soap without pubic hair stuck in it *
15.chocolate*
Don’t buy cheap chocolate or really fancy chocolate, Hershey’s kisses or little round Lind’s etc. Buy Expensive Vodka and then just refill with smirnoff, it won the tase tests and she’s probably drunk already if coming home with you. Others itemswill let her know you’re not stinky. (at leat on Sat. nights.
m. -a naked girl is kinda counter productive when briging home another….. (well.. depending)
A lot of people seem to be commenting about how beta this is. There is nothing beta about building comfort and connection. Your well schemed cocky and funny lines will only take you so far.
RSD says to act through your own intentions and all this sounds like an extended form of foreplay.
I was much cuter at three than I am now
shit yeah. if only i’d known about game at that age, i could have had all the girls wanting to play doctor with me, instead of just the shy chubby girl with glasses.
all of these are good suggestions, except for the fresh flowers– they are bit too metro for my taste. Also the cleaner and less decorated like a dorm room your place is, the better.
soap without pubic hair stuck in it
Sadly, that’s something pretty much guaranteed in any woman’s apartment these days, unless she’s had a man over or (maybe) is a hippie-chick type. And it has nothing to do with good housekeeping practices :(((
Is that the parody Peter, or the real Peter parodying himself?
The cookbooks allow for some good story-telling if you get books on the cuisine of some country you’ve visited: you get to show your adventuresome personality, how things just aren’t as good back here, etc. She’ll be put on the defensive since she most likely hasn’t been there, or went but was too provincial to follow up once she came back.
You can even buy books on the cuisine of some country that you are “planning to visit” — you don’t get good stories, but you still broadcast all the things that travel signals.
You’re right that if you don’t know how to cook, learning to do so is too much of a bother. But you can make an awful lot just by knowing what ingredients to buy and how to throw them together. As long as it tastes rich and decadent, it doesn’t matter if it took little skill to prepare.
I’m going to try that baby book thing on college girls — they’re not in nesting mode yet (“ugh, little kids are so annoying”), so the downside may not appear.
i enjoy gardening and all manner of plantlife, so my room is always full of various plants, flowers and herbs… i grow the herbs i cook with. this hasn’t been properly field tested on women, and got a negativeish response when it was overgrown with large ones and seemed like something out of ‘the fall of the house of usher’, but i wonder if that was just her. i think overgrown plants have an eerie, seductive charm.
and spanish ballad is not easy to play, whatever the guys at guitartab say.
Now you need a companion post on the things you keep hidden from her, until the right moment……..industrial size ky (with hand-pump) etc.
Stripper poles really are fun as hell.
The bachelorette pad needs:
1. Some kind of video game system
2. Beer. (just a six pack, you’re not a bar.)
3. Fairly clean.
Guys are so awesome.
Lisa, I have all those things in my apartment. Plus sandwich fixings. Does that make me a playerette?
I find guys with a lot of “props” or overly decorated places to be a bit weird, it makes me wonder if he’s high-maintenance. Mainly I care that his place is relatively nice and not completely gross. Like, if I think I’ll get staph by walking around barefoot, I’m outta there.
lisa -i disagree….. no video game system. he needs to pay attention to ME!!! ;)
Having some sports equipment in the apartment could be helpful.
“Oh yeah, forgot about her. It’s funny how much stuff we forget organizing old photos.”
Are you serious? This would set off my bullshit detector in a heartbeat.
R, you have a stripper pole? Seriously?!? Can I cum over?
@22
a bachelorette pad needs but one thing; a bachelorette that we want to smash.
I think that whole “hot ex” picture is very ill advised. Unless she’s highly insecure (the type you seem to like) saying you “forgot about her” is not going to win any points. Women want to be remembered and if you forgot that one, she might assume you’ll forget her just as easily. I realize you want to trigger jealousy as a seduction tool; something only a neurotic insecure little boy would even think of.
My ex tried that, only I saw the picture on my way out of his bachelor seduction pad, after his frustrating and unsuccessful attempt to seduce me. It was great! He had the picture right by the front door. Don’t know how I missed it. :D Here’s the sad part; she wasn’t nearly as hot as I, and even sadder, they were still dating. :(
Rossy: I fully realize that calling you a neurotic insecure little boy is just a weeee bit harsh–LOL–but bottom line, leaving the picture out purposely for effect and acting like you just happen to be going through photos and that particular one just popped up out of nowhere, is bullshit plain and simple. Unless you personally like dealing with that type of manipulative B.S. from your dates, I would stop doing it. In other words; grow up.
Life is too short and you’re wasting her precious time on immature games. Women have a different concept of time and they get tweaked when they suspect they’re being emotionally played..even in this “minor” way. But then that’s your specialty, so what the fuck am I saying?
… leaving the picture out purposely for effect and acting like you just happen to be going through photos and that particular one just popped up out of nowhere, is bullshit plain and simple. Unless you personally like dealing with that type of manipulative B.S. from your dates, I would stop doing it.
You haven’t really articulated what is unethical about the action to justify him stopping. It isn’t trying to trigger “jealousy”, it’s demonstrating your own mate value vis a vis her mate value. Which is what the whole dating negotiation process must consist of.
See here:
“Women find men more attractive if they see other women admiring them, a study has suggested.”
30 Rain And
More studies? Do you realize you can prove just about anything in the world you really want to with a study? I could do a study that proves bullshit doesn’t work. Do you personally want to deal with pictures of your dates with their hot ex “accidentally” left out for your reaction? If so, great. Personally, I can’t imagine needing to resort to such calculated efforts to “demonstrate mate value”. But I know, unless I can prove that it’s dumb with a study or so-called faultless logic I’m wasting my time here, as usual. Gotta run…
Do you realize you can prove just about anything in the world you really want to with a study? I could do a study that proves bullshit doesn’t work.
Ha, ok, please provide such a citation.
Do you personally want to deal with pictures of your dates with their hot ex “accidentally” left out for your reaction?
Won’t work on a guy. Almost the entire (short-term anyway) mate value of the woman is in her visible appearance (i.e. we don’t need other guys to clue us in on a woman’s mate value; we know this immediately). While the mate value of the man is largely dependent on shifting cultural status factors and social context (i.e. how other people value us).
Personally, I can’t imagine needing to resort to such calculated efforts to “demonstrate mate value”.
You are woman, correct? See above. Your entire mate value is immediately apparent to men when they meet you.
na-ny boo-boo 69 is Candy Cane
Gotta be Candy Cane. Either that or Homer Simpson:
Lisa: Excuse me, I took a piece of this skeleton for scientific analysis, soon you will have all the facts.
Homer: Facts are meaningless, you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!
Steve Lurkel: “a bachelorette pad needs but one thing; a bachelorette that we want to smash.”
Not from the point of view of the woman’s goal of getting a man to stick around. Men like sex, pretty girls, and also comfort and care. Unlike Roissy, the average man can easily fall into the rut of a woman’s particular comfort and care, but they do need an initial compelling incentive to hang around. Guy friends appreciate the digs too. Personally I can’t stand video games but its hilarious watching guys get all riled up on that guitar-playing one.
Yes Shanny, sandwich fixins. :D Meat for the meatheads and hummus for the occasional starving artist from the local Buddhist temple.
clio:
Do you never worry that one of your dates might be a blog-reader, one who has read one of your posts on this and similar subjects, and who will walk into your apt. and say, “Funny, this looks awfully familiar”?
not really. a proper seduction is irresistible to a woman. as long as her attraction buttons are pressed it doesn’t matter that she’s aware of it. this is why tactics like cocky/funny work so well. she can know exactly what’s up but still feel turned on.
Roissy left something out: contact lens solution. Can be very helpful.
Glad to see the Roissy is such an artist (guitar, painting, etc.). No doubt one of the ways he keeps in touch with his otherwise ruthlessly repressed feminine side.
Rain And;
Here’s the whole point, and I feel like a Sunday school teacher speaking to a group of children, but here goes another frustrating attempt:
#1 The means do not justify the end. The means determines the end. A lie is a lie and begets more bullshit.
Roissy paints this entire scenario (reread if you must):
* have a few other photos of random scenes strewn haphazardly.
* make sure the ex pic is prominen :D
* with a photo album nearby, so that it looks like you were in the middle of updating the album :D
*you’ll need a solid story for why you have an ex photo :D
*just say “Oh yeah, forgot about her. It’s funny how much stuff we forget organizing old photos.” :D
This should be a big fucking clue that once you start lying it never ends. This is Life 101. Who raised you guys? B.S. upon B.S. upon B.S. No wonder women turn lesbian. You guys don’t see how immature you are.
34 Virgl
Look you guys need an older woman around here cuz you’re out of fucking control. :/
I accidently took this photo-thing to a next level and end up with huge fight.
I downloaded a program for enchanting fotos. So I corrected colors of various pictures, including one pretty girl I used to date some time. I forgot to clear windows recent files and my then very very new girlfriend found half-naked pictures of this my recent ex date. Tears & cry & “you are still hung up with ex”. huhhuh.
Eventually I was forced to delete those pics :(
But in the end my gf is way more important than two half naked hot pics of old date.
so I think that leaving old pics laying around is not very good idea. and saying “i forgot her” is bad idea. Does any woman want to be one of those who will be forgotten? no.
and i say that learn to cook. cook beef & potatoes (or whatever) and get bottle of red wine + candles + nice catering. cook meal with your date. it will work, most of women will love it. first you have good time cooking, then eating and wine smooths athmosphere. + if you drink wine, you and your date cannot drive a car -> that is good excuse why date needs to stay at yor place overnight :)
(actually i have to admit that these things work like this where i live, but i cannot guarantee anything otside nordic countries)
Rain And
““Women find men more attractive if they see other women admiring them, a study has suggested.””
yes yes, but leaving old pics of ex girls i a very bad way to demonstrate your mating value. the problem is, that if other women do not really admire you, it is very hard to arrange this so that it does not look like arranged stuff.
Lisa, hah! And for women, I can’t stress it enough: make sure your place isn’t too girly or frilly. In my early 20s, I had kind of a mod, pink girly-girl place. A boyfriend walked in, looked around, and said, “Man, I can feel my sperm count drop every time I come over!” I switched to earth tones and never looked back.
Comfy couch, PS2, a stocked bar and a good CD collection. Works every time.
[...] Weibchen soll zum ersten Mal das Nest des Männchens betreten? Es gibt klügere Details statt der gebrauchten Unterhosen von vier Tagen, Pizzakartons mit abgeknabberten Rändern und [...]
@36
That being the case, shouldn’t your “props” reflect the comfort and care aspect that you can provide a man? a game system, beer, and a degree of cleanliness doesn’t say “care and comfort here” so much as it says, “this is a lot like your place, only there’s snatch to be had!”
Speaking only for myself here (because, apparently, there are a lot of mofos out there with low expectations), if it comes down to a tie-breaker where both women’s physical attributes, personalities, and habitations are equal, the woman whose “bachelorette pad” props reflect prowess in the kitchen and a degree of medical training is likely going to beat out the woman with an Xbox360 and a case of beer. The former says “care and comfort here” whereas the latter says “you can get your dick wet AND play COD4!”
@43
please update the schematics to your honey trap; The PS2 is dead; Sony released the PS3 in November of 2006.
45 Steve
“please update the schematics to your honey trap”
Meant light-heartedly I’m sure, but it gets tiresome dealing with men’s skittish belief that all women want to do is cage them.
Check this out:
http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=604271174&channel=203704147&lineup=686989286
Bears love honey, but birds love http://www.wildlifehabitatdesign.com/bird_favorite_foods.htm
The thing is Steve, I do love to cook and garden and nest and nurse. But some women might not and I’m not going to tell them they have to be something they’re not to get a guy. My comment was simply bare-bones addressing the quandry some women might run into when they’ve got a guy over and don’t know what to do with him once they’ve fed him and fucked him and they want to get him to stick around long enough to get to know her. I mean that’s how you get a guy right, as is ever increasingly being impressed upon us…feed him, fuck him, shut the fuck up? I’m not the one making those rules. God forbid people should be friends first or get to know each other before they start having sex so they have a level of comfort and don’t need props. Then again my props, as I stated originally, are good for building friendships, which is how I like to start with guys before I date them.
And when slumming with starving artists, who don’t get me wrong I have a solid place in my heart for, the cleanliness alone will buy a girl weeks of sweet sweet lovin tutelage.
Your “tie breaker” is a moot point considering in the end your choice will be mostly based on which girl makes your neurons fire the most pleasingly regardless of compatibility.
[...] have helped him bang girls, but it wouldn’t have chased them away either. Many men need help decorating their homes with more stylish and daring set pieces or unusual artifacts, like a collection of historical [...]
Guitar = not Beta. “Spanish Ballad”= Beta.
It’s the herb piece to end all herb pieces.
It’ll take a little work, but try a prelude from a Bach cello suite, or Recuerdos de la Alhambra.
[...] anchor (“hey could you watch my hat/scarf/pickup prop for me for a [...]
[...] 15 04 2010 Back when Roissy was still Roissy, he wrote about seduction props for your bachelor pad. I’d like to share a few of my seduction props with [...]
All of it ..a Crock of Shit
[...] alphaness. It’s more the latter, but no doubt photography, and the men skilled at it, are especially attractive to women, probably for the reason that any visual-based skill or artistry, being primarily the domain of [...]
You play guitar? Are you any good?
Yeah, the baby book would trigger a nesting tingle but it sits closely beside the jack hammering tingle as well. They’re cousins, if you will.
Best: jack hammering that has a wif of potential nesting. yum. Girls are mind fucked by the what ifs when with a quality guy.
[...] history as outlined above, to find that this made them much more interesting to me. Perhaps instead of leaving props artfully strewn around their bachelor apartments, PUAs should consider a Cabinet of Curiosities or Wunderkammer. It’s amazing the things a [...]
[...] that would best complement a master seducer’s lifestyle. Jewelry, home furnishings, bachelor pad props, clothes, shoes, Wii games (chicks love the Smash Bros.), [...]
””””’You’re wrong! I’m sure I would have the aura.
We’ll see. I could be wrong, but not usually.””””””’
hey! fresh flowers are awesome!
[...] overcoming last minute resistance — take-aways, freeze-outs, preemptive coyness, preselection bachelor pad props — and all of them are good, but one very powerful bedroom finishing move often goes [...]
Haven’t seen so many new attention whore drop-ins in a while. This post must have been linked to by a lot of girl sites in the past day.
Not all girls require the influence of bachelor pad props. Some juice up just at the sight of an empty seat in the back of the bus.