SODAS for Your Teen

Confused by the title? Don’t be. We’re not talking about carbonated beverages. It’s much more exciting and healthier than that!

SODAS is an acronym that stands for Situation, Options, Disadvantages, Advantages and Solution. SODAS is a decision-making method that you can teach to your teen to help him or her make better choices.

The first step in SODAS is to define the situation. You need to know what the problem or choice is. Maybe your teen is deciding whether or not to get a job or how to spend an allowance. Using SODAS, your teen can identify the real issue and begin to find a solution.

Here are tips for helping your teen better understand the problem:

  • Focus on the entire situation, not just part of it. Help your teen answer the who, what, where, when and why questions.
  • State the problem in specific, simple terms. Try to keep your teen from becoming too emotional. Emotions can sometimes overwhelm a teen and cause him or her to lose sight of what the actual problem is.

The second step is options. These are the choices your teen has. Most problems or decisions have several options. You need to help your child think of as many options as possible. Don’t let your teen see every decision as an “all or nothing” proposition. Get your child to think.

Here are tips for helping your teen identify options:

  • Have your teen list good and bad options. Be careful not to make any decisions yourself. The purpose here is to help your child think of ways to make decisions on his or her own.
  • Try to keep the number of options to three or four. Any more than that can be confusing. You should also try to make sure at least one option is reasonable and may succeed.
  • Suggest options if your teen is struggling to come up with any. Help him or her see that most situations have more than one option.

In the disadvantages/advantages step, help your teen identify the pros and cons of each option. The goal here is to get your teen to see the connection between the option and possible results if that option is chosen.

Here are tips for helping your teen review disadvantages and advantages:

  • Ask your teen what’s good and what’s bad about each option. Ask probing questions, including why an option might work and why it might fail.
  • After discussing the good and bad points of each option, have your teen write down all the advantages and disadvantages of each.

Remember, your teen may not have the life experience to know all of the potential outcomes. Your advice may be needed here.

The final step in the SODAS process is the solution. Now is when your teen will choose the option he or she thinks will get the best result.

Here are tips for choosing a solution:

  • Make sure your child understands the options and the possible outcomes for each. You want your teen to make an informed decision.
  • Some decisions will be difficult. If a decision is not needed immediately, allow your teen extra time to process his or her thoughts.

Of course, your teen may choose a solution that you disagree with. If your child’s decision won’t hurt anyone else, is not illegal and does not contradict your moral or religious beliefs, then let it stand. He or she will learn from the decision.

Be supportive. If the solution does not work out the way your child thought it would, show compassion and empathy. You can always return to the SODAS method to find another solution.

SODAS is one of several approaches to successful parenting you will find in the award-winning Boys Town book Common Sense Parenting.