Although I recently wrote about Jennifer Finlayson-Fife’s great post at Rational Faiths and Natasha Helfer Parker’s great post at The Mormon Therapist, I feel compelled to add something from the podcast they did with Dan Wotherspoon at Mormon Matters (just finished listening this morning!). It was all terrific, talking about modesty and sexuality and how some teachings in Elder Todd Callister’s recent Ensign article can inadvertently hurt people. I wish I had a transcript, but at 1 hour 22 minutes Jennifer said something that I think is so important that I tried to create a rough transcript. Here it is:
The bigger question is how do you justify challenging what a moral authority has said to you, and how do you justify disagreeing with it and saying you’re wrong? My personal opinion is that it is spiritually immature to just take what is offered to us as the truth. I don’t think that God would see that as good enough.
I think we are enculturated into the idea that obedience is the hallmark of spiritual goodness, but I think that integrity is the hallmark of spiritual development, and integrity includes hearkening and listening to what wiser others offer to us, sometimes deferring what we want more immediately for what we really believe in our hearts is better for us. This may look like obedience, but it is more of a moral act of deferring to someone else’s wisdom or prophetic statement. That doesn’t mean that whatever is offered to us is the truth.
That is, we must take personal responsibility for our moral choices:Continue reading
…I personally believe that God wants us to bring our best judgment and experience to these situations. It is easy for me to see the cost of [Callister's] message as I sit with clients. I see the fallout. The fallout can be private, couples who don’t know where to go for help, who don’t know how to manage their sexuality in a way that is congruent with their desire to be good people.
I feel comfortable with the challenging of [the message] because I want our church to be better, and I want us to continue to evolve as a moral group. I’m not saying I have all the answers, but I do think the struggle around what is right and wrong and our struggle within ourselves to assert what we believe is right [related to] our God-given sexuality, and the compass of the Spirit and the Church is a very important process.
My wife and I took a relationship class from Jennifer and this is central to what she teaches. This idea of struggling to grow up spiritually, to become our own moral authority, listening to our own wisdom while being mature enough to consider counsel from others, accepting what is good and rejecting what is bad–in other words, becoming spiritual adults–this is what life is all about. I am convinced this is why God sent us here.
But it requires that we be disobedient to our leaders under the occasional circumstance when our consciences dictate it. I acknowledge that this is hard doctrine and should not be taken lightly–we are always prone to error. I realize that such an approach can sometimes place us at odds with our faith community. But I can see no other way if we are going to develop into divine beings like our heavenly parents.
Thanks for sharing these highlights. I find it difficult to listen to podcasts, so I’m glad you shared this here. I love that line: “I think that integrity is the hallmark of spiritual development.”
I’m so glad you transcribed these quotes! These were some of my favorite parts of the podcast and really resonated with me. I have been thinking about integrity vs. obedience and how it applies in my life. Am I a blind (re: complacent) follower who is just leaning on the faith of someone else or do I think I’m entitled to revelation about everything I’ve heard and read? I’m beginning to see it should be the latter.
Glad to hear it, Tracie. I’ve found that it takes time, but my confidence in my ability to receive revelation grows every day as remember that I have the right to it. It’s a good feeling.