Category Archives: Post-Walk

Pay Child Abductor or Face Imprisonment


The State of CA family court is forcing Sarah, a mother of three, with a difficult choice: pay for child abduction or go to prison.

Publicized divorce cases tend to have grey areas.  Not this one.  Both the facts and Sarah’s choices are crystal clear.

Sarah is being threatened with imprisonment by the State of California for not paying her ex, Tom DeMelfi, tens of thousands of dollars for the service of having her children abducted by Tom.

Points that are not debated:

  1. Tom has stated he will do anything to have the children removed from their mother (recorded and provided to family court)
  2. Tom broke court orders on hundreds of occasions to prevent the children from seeing their mother.  He admitted this under oath during their trial.  During some stretches she was completely blocked from her kids for nearly a year.
  3. The State of CA (Judge Guasco) has determined that for the years that Tom illegally kept the kids, he should be paid retroactive child support.

There is absolutely nothing in Sarah’s history to indicate she should not have her children.

After the state rejected Sarah’s reasonable request of 50/50 custody, she was reduced to mere Sundays for visitations — a term any mother would recoil at.

Quickly Tom was able to obtain a frivolous court order essentially claiming Sarah was “calling names” to force her into the courtroom. Tom swiftly leveraged the scenario to completely block the children from their mother regaining his 100% custody.  Tom has also returned to his practice of blocking communication with the kids by phone.

We live in a police state.  People can purchase aggressive laws against average unsuspecting people and, like Hilter, if no one questions their authority, people will continue to be viciously imprisoned until enough people stand up for reform.


Despite clearly stating my First Amendment rights, I was recently court ordered to remove my divorce proceedings from the Walk for Lost Kids website because the content is deemed harmful to my children.  Nothing has been removed or censored to date.


The site has also been used as evidence that Sarah should pay sanctions in her case despite the fact she is not responsible for any of its content.

Like others fighting the cause, we both continue to be fined, dragged into court and harassed for speaking out against the corruption in the family court system.

Keep the faith.

- Patrick

‘Twas Memories of Christmas


Please excuse the lapse in blogging.  Like the rest of you, the holidays are a wild roller coaster of emotional baggage from yesteryears.


‘Twas memories of Christmas, before the ex-spouse
Now the courts are a trap and I am the mouse;
The stockings still boxed because I really don’t care,
I know on that day, no kids will be there;
The children all nestled and snug in their beds;
Are long ago visions in only my head;
And you in your misery, and I, an old sap,
May survive the season if we only could nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
PTSD! What’s the matter?!
Away to the window to unravel the caper:
The police? Child services? Served family court papers?
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Daring me to jump and just end it below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But some signs of a shift; tiny cracks in the mirror.
With news of some wins bringing something to cope,
I knew in a moment there must be some hope.
More rapid than eagles the updates they came,
And I rejoiced in the moment that I was really sane:
Divorce Corp! NPO!
Fix Family Courts – a good showing!
Alienation gurus!
North Dakota keep it going!
Postings to YouTube! To the Facebook walls!
Like and share, like and share, like and share all.
One of these damn things in the media WILL fly!
And we WILL see some changes before we all die!
So push up the numbers of voices for change
In text, video – whatever we can arrange
Demonstrations by roadways; hell – get on the roof
With enough of us howling; maybe they’ll see the plain proof
“Our kids have been taken!”  — This isn’t a drill.
Take the word to the streets and to Capitol Hill.
When you’ve flooded your laptop then start out on foot,
Crush tarnished judges.  The system’s kaput!
The bundles of booty from all their kickbacks,
Need to be exposed.  It is time to attack!
And while judges and attorneys use our cash getting merry
We’ll pull back the veil to make their coming year scary.
We’ll pass swift laws to make kids free to go,
Not to be abused pawns thrown about to and fro.
We’ll flood the media with stories that have real teeth,
That will draw out hard questions – the inquisitions beneath.
We’ll soon rid this world of premature kid goodbyes,
A shakeup to replace court orders full of lies.
Where judges got plump, on the cash that we earned,
We’ll laugh that fine day when we watch them get burned.
Cause when we have enough ears on the twists being said,
Soon their family court games will be nothing but dead.

Yes.  December will suck. We will sulk.  We will work,
As we figure our roles in exposing these jerks,
But in the next year, as the media swell grows,
Let’s say by next Christmas we’ll smell sweet as a rose!
And the Grinches that slayed us have had people blow whistles,
As they lose their carte blanc.  We’ve diffused all their missiles.

Peace and love to the kidless.
Soon things will be set right.
Happy Christmas to all, never give up the fight!


Abduction: Legal. Wall Building: Illegal.


Most walls are simply built of intimidation.

People find a child behind a false wall and suddenly there’s the idea that maybe this child is trapped against his will.  What people don’t understand is that this practice is commonplace.  It’s only people who build walls that get arrested.

Children are kept from parents in violation of court orders every day.  It goes unnoticed and unpunished.

My partner’s daughter gets locked in her room by the step-parent and told she can’t leave until she says her mom is bad.

#1 – Since she’s only ten, she has no reason to believe this treatment isn’t normal; especially in light of the fact that dad permits it.

#2 – Like the boy in the story above, there are no signs for friends and neighbors.  Her dad’s a “nice guy”.  Most sociopaths are.

#3 – Abductions like this pay handsomely and savvy step-parents can cash in by being an involved parent when there’s money to be made and vanishing when the real parent gets caught

You don’t need a false wall to have a sign of wrong doing.  You only need a child that is not seeing the other parent.  Period.

Next time you meet a child who is not seeing a parent, I guarantee there’s a wall somewhere.  And sometimes the child’s best hope of escape is a passing stranger smart enough to ask hard questions.

Understand Me



There is a movement to spread awareness on parental alienation (PA) today as part of Stop Parental Alienation Day. The request is to simply educate one person about PA.

I have specialized in education for two decades and I must admit that conveying the concepts of parental alienation and divorce reform the most challenging topics in my career. Breaking the barrier of getting someone outside divorce to talk about and understand divorce alone is a major feat. When you add the complexity of PA and the courts, people understandably glaze over.

Recently I made some progress in knocking down this content into something short and digestible for the masses. It is far from perfect but I feel it helps people convey what is occurring.  Have a look: Getting the word out is a step in the right direction and I don’t want to convey you should be using a video as a crutch. That said, maybe my version can assist you in constructing your own story so that it makes sense to your audience.

With the holidays on tap, many victims of PA will struggle with depression and all our efforts together — no matter how insignificant they may seem — really do add up.

Change is in the wind. I thank you all in advance for your contributions in making the world a better place.

Feel free to send constructive input for future videos. Education plays a big part in keeping PA in check.


- Patrick

Not the End


At the US Capitol with Sherry Palmer, sponsor and leader is family court reform

I’m still buried between gathering my thoughts on the 400-mile journey, sorting my notes on the reform conference, and thinking through next steps (pun intended).  For now, here’s my speech from the US Capitol in case the cold scared you away.

This is not the end of the journey, it is only the beginning.

Getting divorced is humiliating.
Being driven into poverty by the courts and selfish ex-spouses is humiliating.
Having your kids taken from you is humiliating.

It is this very humiliation that has allowed so much corruption in family courts to blossom.

But there’s a new check and balance system coming to power; it’s the hundreds of people that supported the Walk for Lost Kids and this rally that provide merely a glimpse into the epidemic. And –mark my words — this is an epidemic affecting thousands upon thousands of children.

As long as our voices are silenced by the corrupt cash cow called family court, it will continue to feed on our kids with unchecked power. We stand here today to declare those days are numbered.

You’ll hear a lot in the coming days about divorce reform and parental alienation but the conversation that trumps them all is not statements of anger or fear; it’s statements of love.

We love our kids.

What the courts are doing to remove loving parents from our children’s lives is unconstitutional, illegal but most of all – it’s just plain unethical.

What kind of people remove a loving parent from a child’s life? and
What kind of government puts a financial incentive in place to encourage the practice?

There is not a single more destructive thing you could do to a child’s life than remove a loving parent.

While illustrating the magnitude of the problem is critical to our success in achieving real reform so is each of our individual accomplishments.

This is merely one battle in a long war and we need the myriad of skills this group brings to the table.

Whether it’s Joe Sorge hitting the media with powerful videos or
Sherry and Ron Palmer from Fix Family Courts writing books and instructional videos to help parents win their children back or
Sarah from Say It Smart tirelessly bringing the story of our walk to the press.

I encourage each of you to take the next step to find where you fit in to this historical moment: where losing your kids becomes a thing of the past.

And for those of you that don’t know where you fit – that want to cry out “this is wrong” but still haven’t found an outlet for your frustration..well..we walk.

Watch for announcements shortly for the next Walk for Lost Kids in Spring of 2015.

We will not stop walking until we get the changes we need: Changes to save our kids.


Two Steps Forward, One Step Back


imageAfter walking 30 days and 400 miles to arrive at the Divorce Corp Reform Conference, I had hoped to take a day of “rest” by sitting through dozens of traumatic divorce stories.

But, alas, the work is never done.

This Facebook posting is highly disturbing on a number of levels.

The ISNAF comprises several of the gurus of parental alienation. That is, they have decades of experience with the clinical psychology.  This group has made great headway in helping the divorce reform movement.

And while, in the right hands, proper co-parenting can help divorcing families, on a whole the entire co-parenting campaign is little more than a smoke screen for judges, attorneys and alienating parents to keep the media away from the core story: their corrupt income stream.

Steve Miller, a key member of ISNAF, pleads with reps in CT to understand that in severe cases, parental alienators WILL NEVER CO-PARENT.

“I defy you to find a clinical psychologist who thinks they can work with (a severe alienator).”

So a psychologist can’t work with these people, but a glossy pamphlet on co-parenting will help them see the light?

And since we should be focused on the severe cases, since they are stealing our kids, can we please back burner the pitiful campaign to tell us to go co-parent with people who don’t need to because they can simply pay the courts to get their way.  If you are gonna waste your time on any self help solution, at least pick parallel parenting.

I can tell you first hand, like few others, how many hundreds of burned out city blocks I’ve walked where there is no hope; just despair. And the only sign of anything new in a five mile radius, is bright shiny ads telling people to go be a dad.


No one bothers to ask the simple question: “Who eliminated dad in the first place?”

So one arm of the government removes the dad and the other arm wags it’s finger criticizing dad for not being around.

Hearing this message from our corrupt government doesn’t surprise me in the least.  What surprises me is how easily the ISNAF got behind a campaign to knock divorce reform back to the ice ages.

I’m beginning to lose faith in the ISNAF.  Reign it in and prove me wrong. Please.