Customer Reviews

Let. It. Go.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith

The universal desire--however it might manifest itself--to control others and their impressions of us is the subject of Karen Ehman's new book Let. It. Go.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith. While Ehman has plenty of praise for industrious, well-organized, capable women who thrive in their homes and places of work, her objective is to help those same women identify the "miniscule line between being conscientious and being controlling" (17). Writing from an evangelical and complementarian vantage point, Ehman's objective is to offer biblical justification for loosening the reigns a little bit, as well as some practical steps we can take toward this goal.

Let. It. Go. has a number of strengths and two very critical flaws.

A perceptive and sensitive woman, Ehman is most helpful when, after dismantling the facades we wear, she analyzes our raw human impulses, particularly those that drive us to manipulate others and exert unhealthy levels of control over our environments. She refuses to make the overtly bossy, opinionated and loud woman bear the burden of representation for the all the control freaks out there, exposing, also, "the soft-spoken saint", "the enabler" "the martyr" and "the people pleaser" (20-21). She argues quite persuasively that controlling personalities come in many forms--and quiet, gentle and agreeable women are not necessarily exempt from her criticism. Her willingness to invite readers to reflect upon her own storehouse of fears, desires, insecurities and controlling impulses makes her a winsome and authentic voice--one from whom I think most readers will gladly accept instruction. She's also quite adept at illuminating the ways in which our unique cultural moment fuels our thirst for control by bombarding us with a plethora of choices as we make everyday decisions and by facilitating-- through technology and social networking--the endless comparisons we make between our lives and those of our friends and acquaintances.

In an effort to establish rapport with readers, Ehman writes informally and in a self-deprecating tone. While her sense of humor works well in some sections of the book, it detracts from her stated goals in others. It's clear that Ehman is passionate about communicating biblical truths to readers, yet the irreverent tone with which she often exegetes Scripture is problematic and distracting. For example, in the third chapter of the book, she examines the Fall in light of the theme of control. She alludes tangentially to scholarly debate surrounding precisely what kind of fruit God forbade Adam and Eve to eat and then writes, "My personal opinion? It was a deep, dark-chocolate, festive foil-wrapped, whack-open orange--the kind my hubby hides in the toe of my stocking on Christmas morning. That would have been the only fruit that stood a chance of tempting me!" (50). Other examples occur in chapter eight when Ehman is holding up Esther as a model of godly faithfulness which we ought to emulate. In recounting Esther's story, she refers to Mordecai as "Uncle Morty," and King Xerxes as "the hubster." She likens the narrative to "an ancient episode of The Bachelor" (160) and peppers her exegesis with exclamatory remarks like "Uh-oh," "gasp!" and "Double ouch" (158-160).

While I appreciate her efforts to make Scripture engaging and accessible to readers, I often felt patronized by her flippant tone, which threatened to belie her stated commitment to the authority of Scripture.

My second major criticism of Let. It. Go. deals with the book's theological foundation--or lack thereof. A book that admonishes women to "control what we should and trust God with what we can't" (23) absolutely must flesh out, as much as possible, the doctrine of God's sovereignty. In Ehman's defense, she does encourage readers by pointing to Scripture that demonstrates God's control over both creation and man's steps, but, since she never really addresses the idea of compatibilism, the relationship between man's responsibility and God's sovereignty gets a little muddled. For example, on page 155 she writes, "We can attempt to change our circumstances. Sometimes it works, but not always" and then, on the very next page, she writes, "It's God's job to determine our circumstances."

But, more troubling than her potentially confusing discussion of God's sovereignty is the complete absence of any gospel message in this book. There's hardly any mention of Christ Jesus at all, and the implications of his death on the cross and subsequent resurrection for believers are never discussed. When I find myself clamoring for control in my life, what ultimately gives me pause and quiets my heart is the knowledge that Christ has already taken care of my biggest problem--my alienation from God, a problem over which I had absolutely no control--on my behalf. Only with the knowledge that my most daunting existential crisis is already solved can I begin to relinquish the illusion of control I have over my life. Like the contemporary Christian song reminds us: "What heights of love, what depths of peace / When fears are stilled, when strivings cease."

I value Ehman's practical suggestions for managing my desire to control my surroundings. Her three little words "let it go" served as a helpful reminder. But without mention of three other crucial words--"It is finished"--I fear her book won't have nearly the impact that it could.

I got this book as part of a fantastic online Bible Study group. Honestly, I didn't really expect to get much out of it--I am not a controlling person by nature. In fact, one of my worst traits is a lack of self-control--it causes a lot of unnecessary struggles for me. But, I figured I might find some small nugget of wisdom...

I must tell you that the different ways we humans use to manipulate our environment that Karen Ehman draws out in detail are a stark reminder to anyone--you will see yourself trying to control something in your life when you read her loving, funny, but forthright words. I know I did, and I was truly surprised.

I needed the reminder that God is God and I am not. I needed to be shown that I don't trust Him as much as I say and think I do. I believe the mirror this book helped me hold up to my soul will not allow me to walk away the same person I was before.

We women can get tense about many things. The to-do list. Our kids' grades. Our waistlines. Our mortages. This list goes on and on!

Karen very wisely teaches a needed life skill: "how to control what we should and trust God with what we can't."

She shares many stories that will make you laugh out loud. It's very easy to relate to Karen. She's a wonderful guide and the kind of lady you'd call friend. The book includes a little quiz to test your personal control quotient. With that in mind, you can tackle the rest of the chapters and transform from a control freak into a more relaxed version of you. A woman who is at peace with where she is. That's a great place to be - thank you Karen for helping us get there!

This book is written for women who are: 1. religious, 2. Type A micro-managers. The ideal reader is the type of mom who is a worrier AND goes to church on Sunday. Those people will gain the most from Mrs. Ehman - look no further, this is the book for you. It's also worthwhile if you are a stressed gal who seeks to have a closer relationship with God and your children.

It's NOT worth the buy if you are a calm-ish agnostic. That describes me. But since I am a wife and mother with a full time job and two young kids, I do get overly stressed at home. We normally run the show, so anything to lighten the load is welcomed. So when a friend asked me to join her study group on this book, I said yes. I am open and eager to learn about the bible and how it can help me with my work and family life. Over the course of several weeks we read book chapters at home, watched the DVD and used the study guides together, and had discussions (there is a study guide set for sale on Amazon).

Overall I would say I liked the book and DVD. I learned a few things about letting go of the little things. and letting God take over. Wait, I'm agnostic, so that last part to me means let problems work out by themselves - not stressing about them or making them happen, as Type As like to do.

But as I said, I am agnostic and this is a God-drive book, so I was left with as much confusion as I started with. I didn't leave with tricks up my sleeve. Not that I left with nothing. I did appreciate the book's purpose - there are some good quotes and many "foods for thought". I even bought a study bible so I could look up scripture and understand it better. It's still on my nightstand untouched, but hey it's there.

I would say that if you are religious and Type A, this is the book for you. For a few of our group members, it was life changing. For me, I enjoyed "The Secrets of Happy Families" by Bruce Feiler more. It gave me actual strategies to making my home life flow better.

Some may really enjoy this book and learn a lot from it. I'm a 60+ grandmother and only bought it to be part of a Bible study with younger women. I feel like I learned all of these lessons a million years ago with Oprah's message of "surrender;" couldn't get the 3rd chapter. Sorry, just not the right audience for this book.

Stumbled upon this book after hearing the song from the Frozen soundtrack a few times too many. God used it to remind me He sees just what I'm about right now as a mom of teenagers. This is yet another critical time in my life when the reminder to let go and let God be in control was timed perfectly.

Karen writes as if you're sitting at the table with a girlfriend, chatting over a nice cup of coffee. I appreciated and enjoyed the visit, and believe you will, too!

Wow, I couldn't wait to get my hands on this book and I'm so glad I did! I see myself in so much of this author's writings! Being the oldest of 4 kids in my family and having both parents who worked just kind of put me in the position to be "mom" when the situation called for it and that set me on a path of being in charge or taking the responsibility for things pretty much most of my life. And when you couple that with how the women's movement has drilled stuff into our heads that we are not to take orders or be in a subservient position to any man..well, that pretty well set me up for the problems I have been dealt because of my tenacity in situations. I don't want to be like this and, since Ms. Ehman (the author) suffers from the same thing, she has really laid it all out on the line as to why we behave like this, why it's hard to step back and what other choices we can make which will be better on everyone. I don't know about you; but, I'm tired of bearing so much of the load and I need some help letting it fall on someone else's shoulders. The end of each chapter has a little self-evaluation test you can take and you really need to be truthful with yourself when you do. This book is an excellent read!!!! I definitely recommend it!

Clear, concise suggestions to help you transition control to others in your family or workplace which will in turn decrease your stress.

Karen Ehman writes as though she was sitting in your living room. This book flows well and encourages the reader from beginning to end. Engaging, witty, and real are the characteristics of the author that I enjoy the most. I can relate to nearly all of the examples and appreciate the humor, as this is a serious subject for most, the humor helps make it more desireable to address the "control freak" in each of us. Included in the DVD are many interesting stories and real life experiences that keep the viewer engaged and making practical applications. Karen has a pleasant demeanor and is always interesting. The sessions seem to fly because they are entertaining and helpful all in one!

You need this book! You need it worse if you don't think that you need it! I really just purchased this book as part of Proverbs 31 ministries online Bible study. Little did I know how much I needed the lessons on relinquishing control to God. It is worth it for the sections on tools, tangents or toys and Christmas alone. The chapters are the perfect bite size for busy Christian wives and mothers. She also interprets scripture literally even when it goes against the grain of the culture. Karen writes so well and I'm anxious to read her other writings and start following her blog.