With Valentines Day coming up I thought this was an appropriate topic. Although using a condom is widely accepted in society, they are still something of a taboo or long running joke. Most of what we learn about sex is strictly instructional and something we don't find applicable to our real life sexual experiences. Well here comes a bunch of stuff I wish teen Amy was taught in sex-ed.
Something that changed my opinion on condoms forever was an experience with my second sexual partner. He told me he was allergic to latex and couldn't wear a condom unless it was sheepskin. Which was a hard thing to find according to him. I pondered the logistics or if that was even a real thing? Who could I ask? All I could think about was, how we would wrap a sheep's skin around his penis and what if it got stuck in my vagina? He made it seem like unprotected sex was no big deal because he had done it without consequence. This alone should have been a huge indicator that he had no idea what he was doing, but I was young and naïve. I thought this older, more sexually experienced man must know better than me. I was on birth control and it would be fine because the worst thing that can come from unprotected sex is a child right? Then I got chlamydia. Boom, game over. Not really guys but it is pretty uncomfortable and an all around terrible thing you don't want to have to experience. It was so insulting when he refused to get tested or treated even though he was the only person I had ever had unprotected sex with. After this ordeal I learned there are many mainstream brands of condoms that are latex free. By the way lambskin condoms are a real thing and there is no wrapping involved. They are made of sheep intestines and are much less effective than latex condoms at preventing STD's and I do not recommend them.
Since then I've heard every excuse in the book from my male sexual partners. "It doesn't feel as good. I can't get off wearing a condom. It's a turn off. You're so sexy I can't wait. I'm clean I promise. You don't trust me? You're not on birth control? I'm good at pulling out though. No one wears condoms anymore."
You have to be Fort Knox up in this bitch to withstand the onslaught of reasons why you have no say in your sexual health.
Know what really isn't sexy? A partner who not only will jeopardize his own health to get sexual gratification but will risk yours as well. You have every right to say no to sex without a condom. You have every right not to take a contraceptive pill that alters the normal hormonal balance in your body. You have every right to take a contraceptive pill if it's your best option and STILL ask a man to wear a condom because a pill doesn't protect against STD's.
If your partner is invested in you and cares about your well being he will not argue about a condom. If you're old enough to have sex you can afford a condom. If a condom isn't worth the money, it's a big indicator you aren't ready to have sex. They now sell condoms at the dollar store. Not to mention there are a ton of sexual health clinics and high schools giving them out for free.
Everyone should know it's not shameful to buy condoms or carry condoms with you. I do. If someone makes you feel embarrassed for having condoms, feel embarrassed for them because they lack the common sense to realize it is empowering to have control over your sexual health.
If your partner has a problem reaching his sexual peak with a condom on there are a million ways to remedy that and none of them include intercourse without a condom. At least not until you are in a long term monogamous relationship and are both thoroughly aware of each others sexual history.
If he is truly invested in you, none of these obstacles will matter. If they do, he's not worth your time.
Please remember that this applies to all people including those who are genderqueer and transgender. Everyone has the right to safe sex.