Archive for the ‘Myths and misconceptions’ Category

Let’s get one thing clear: Predator Alert Tool is not run by nor does it support sadomasochists.

Note: I originally wrote this as a reblog of the post quoted below, but I want to ensure it shows up in Tumblr’s tracked tags and search results, so I’m cross-posting it from my blog using Tumblr Crosspostr, again. birdsy-purplefishes: Seeing a “predator alert tool” for social media sites run by kinksters is like seeing […]

Sensation, Story, and Felt Sense: Rolequeer and BDSM do not mix

I was very pleased to see that the 8 colorful Venn diagrams I made explaining how BDSM is, by definition, rooted in abuse quickly spread across Tumblr. Predictably, however, a lot of people who objected did so on the basis that their special-snowflake BDSM relationships were not abuse and how dare I suggest such a […]

It’s not about you: beyond “kink-shaming” (via FeministCurrent)

feministcurrent: Let’s just start by saying this: I really don’t care about ‘kink’ or about ‘kinky people’. It just doesn’t interest me. I don’t give a shit about your leather fetish. Really. But because I recently dared to suggest that RCMP officer Jim Brown’s sadomasochistic behaviour might, just might, be related to the fact that […]

Rolequeerness is not just about “who,” it’s about “how,” too; it is the HOW of effectively criticizing power.

princess-poophead: The more I read on their blogs, the weirder it seems that the rolequeer people aren’t talking about doms/tops as people with races and genders and like ability and stuff which is so weird because they’re talking about BDSM as “the fetishization of oppressive culture” so like don’t the privileges and lack thereof in […]

The theory of BDSM as parody [where it’s flawed and where it’s not]

notfuckingcishet: I was very disappointed today to pick up a reader on queer sexuality, skipping quickly to the chapter on kink, to find yet another article that accepted uncritically the theory that BDSM is a parody of oppression. For those of you unfarmiliar with the theory, this is the idea that BDSM parodies real oppression […]

A fixation on sexualizing authority, not consent, is what makes BDSM the thing that it is

When describing their communities, BDSM’ers will talk about how theirs is a “safe, sane” space, “based on consent and respect and sex-positivity” as if reciting some invisible script. But there are many communities whose rhetoric or practice (or both) are based on these ideas, so it seems incomplete at best or a deliberate misdirection at […]

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