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  #1  
Old 08-04-2010, 10:39 AM
posskb posskb is offline
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Upstairs neighbor is a peeping tom (listener), what should I do?

My upstairs neighbor every day spends almost all of her time listening to me. She has a squeeky floor and everwhere I go she follows. She's doing it right now. Yeah this messed up woman listens to me while I'm on the computer, watching tv, taking a shower, using the restroom, cooking and everything else. Do I also listen to her? Yes but only because she follows me everywhere.

I realize I sound paranoid. Why would anybody care what I do? I guess she is a voyeur. I want my privacy. Assuming I am right what can I do? I plan on moving but I can't do that for private reasons for at least a month. She is 16 years older than me. I have confronted her and she completely denied this occuring.

Is what she does illegal.? How could I prove it if so? Maybe I could buy a small radio, put it right below a ceiling vent, and play it loudly (have to get extension cord also.) Would it be stupid to tell the apartment manager?

I am going a little crazy having no privacy. I am a guy disabled and spend the majority of my time here alone. Privacy is maybe the best part of my life. No rules. But it's hard to enjoy this freedom with Ms. old, fat, ugly, lying, thieving, spying bitch upstairs. I have often called her this and much worse recently while she listens upstairs to make it less enjoyable but it hasn't helped. She probably likes the attention.

Any advice would be welcome...
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  #2  
Old 08-04-2010, 10:42 AM
Bridget Burke Bridget Burke is offline
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Thieving? Spying?

Move. Tough it out for one month.
  #3  
Old 08-04-2010, 10:46 AM
posskb posskb is offline
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Yeah that makes the most sense. Thanks...
  #4  
Old 08-04-2010, 10:51 AM
Shodan Shodan is offline
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Originally Posted by posskb View Post
I realize I sound paranoid.
As a matter of fact, yes, you do.

For now, wait a month and move. If people are listening to you at your next place as well, my advice will be rather different.

Regards,
Shodan
  #5  
Old 08-04-2010, 10:51 AM
Blank Slate Blank Slate is online now
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How can she "follow" you? Can she see through the floor? What did she steal?
  #6  
Old 08-04-2010, 10:56 AM
nate nate is online now
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How do you know she's listening to you?
  #7  
Old 08-04-2010, 10:56 AM
Chris Luongo Chris Luongo is offline
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Welcome to the boards!

The General Questions section is usually for things that have a factual answer, and the In My Humble Opinion is where people will give you advice. Are you looking to know your legal options, or for advice?

Anyway, all I can do is give my opinion. The moderators might move this to the IMHO section.

Anyway, if she's old, there's probably not a lot you can do to change her behavior at this point. And you said you can't move for at least a month.....but I don't understand. Do you plan to move, or only will move if you have to?

If you're already moving anyway, just take measures to make the situation a little more bearable until you do so.

I would take some enjoyment in making her life a little more difficult and confusing if you can...but that's just me.

--Begin one activity in one room to throw her off, and then immediately go to another room and do something else. For example, go to the kitchen, turn on a radio, bang some pots and pans around as if you're beginning to cook, then leave the radio on and as quickly and quietly as possible, go to your computer room.

--You said you're disabled. Has she ever made any insults or comments about your disability? That would probably give you a lot of legal options right there.

--I would do lots of things to send mixed signals about who you are and what you do.

--For example, one day, leave your radio on an extreme right-wing talk show, and the next day, on extreme left-wing. I know you said you live alone, so I understand listening to radio programs you don't like might not be worth it. Maybe you can leave the radio on in one room, then go in the other room and shut the door.

--Do you speak a foreign language? Nothing could be more frustrating to her than hearing you make all kinds of phone calls that she can't understand.

--Regardless of whether you speak a foreign language or not, leave the TV on the Spanish channel every once in a while.

--Find some porn where the audio sounds like a legitimate sexual encounter, and let her imagine all kinds of things!

--Occasionally play children's TV programs even though there are no kids in the house.
  #8  
Old 08-04-2010, 11:25 AM
BobArrgh BobArrgh is offline
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Is there a possibility that the construction of your building is such that when you walk, that movement is transferred to the walls and thence to the ceiling? In other words, you are simply hearing the creaking of your own steps, albeit in the ceiling. Sounds weird, I know, but I still can't fathom how she would know where you were.
  #9  
Old 08-04-2010, 11:29 AM
beowulff beowulff is offline
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If you are alone most of the time, what is she listening to? Do you talk to yourself?
  #10  
Old 08-04-2010, 11:34 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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Originally Posted by Chris Luongo View Post
Anyway, if she's old, there's probably not a lot you can do to change her behavior at this point.
She is 26. That's old?
  #11  
Old 08-04-2010, 11:35 AM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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She is 26. That's old?
Where does it say that?
  #12  
Old 08-04-2010, 11:36 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayaker View Post
She is 26. That's old?
Where does it say that?
In the OP:

Quote:
Originally Posted by posskb View Post
She is 16 years older than me.
  #13  
Old 08-04-2010, 11:56 AM
Turek Turek is offline
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She is 26. That's old?
Well played, sir.
  #14  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:06 PM
HeyHomie HeyHomie is offline
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Give her her money's worth (so to speak). Moan in sexual ecstasy at random times. Conduct mock exorcisms (break into Latin at random moments). Master Tuvan Throat Singing. The list goes on.
  #15  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:06 PM
what do I type here what do I type here is offline
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You confronted her? Now she thinks you're creepy and paranoid and is probably posting "my neighbor is a nutjob who thinks I can see through my floor" on some other message board.
  #16  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:47 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Did anyone else read that as lissener?


My advice? You're completely imagining things.

Last edited by Guinastasia; 08-04-2010 at 12:49 PM..
  #17  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:48 PM
Thudlow Boink Thudlow Boink is offline
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Knock thee times on the ceiling if you want her.

Twice on the pipes if the answer is no.
  #18  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:55 PM
Zebra Zebra is offline
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Play music through out the house.


That should cover your sound tracks.
  #19  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:56 PM
Oakminster Oakminster is offline
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I'm not seeing anything this poor woman is doing wrong. She's living in her own apartment, probably wishing you weren't so damn loud. If you make noises that can be heard outside your living space, the fault is yours, not hers.

Also think you may want to talk to a medical professional. Sounds to me like there may be some issues that need addressing.
  #20  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:56 PM
mlees mlees is offline
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Play music through out the house.


That should cover your sound tracks.
May I recommend Klingon Opera? I think I shall.
  #21  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:56 PM
mhendo mhendo is online now
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Originally Posted by Shodan View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by posskb View Post
I realize I sound paranoid.
As a matter of fact, yes, you do.
Agreed.

There are some things that go with living in an apartment building. Hearing some of what your neighbors do is one of them. You have no way of knowing what she's doing up there. She could be moving about her apartment completely oblivious of what you're doing.

Also, even if she is listening to you, why do you care? I've lived in apartments before, and if the person above me wanted to spend their time following me from room to room and listening to me make breakfast, watch TV, and do my laundry, why should i give a damn?
  #22  
Old 08-04-2010, 12:56 PM
The Second Stone The Second Stone is offline
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It seems the highest likelihood to me is that you are paranoid. Rolling around your apartment swearing at the upstairs neighbor strikes me as more than slightly crazy. So see a doctor about getting some medications. On the slight chance that you are not nuts, just get over it.
  #23  
Old 08-04-2010, 01:00 PM
Colibri Colibri is offline
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Since the OP is seeking advice, this is better suited to IMHO than GQ.

Colibri
General Questions Moderator
  #24  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:02 PM
Animastryfe Animastryfe is offline
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I recommend this.
  #25  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:03 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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Based on the OP's other posts I'm half expecting him to declare that the upstairs neighbor is also secretly gassing him at night based on the fact that sometimes he sleeps more heavily than usual.
  #26  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:11 PM
bucketybuck bucketybuck is online now
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I think it is all coincidence, and also an indicator of your compatibility. Think about it, this woman's life matches yours exactly. Lovey dovey couples dream of walking in-step for the rest of their lives, but you are living it!!!

Buy her flowers.
  #27  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:16 PM
peekercpa peekercpa is offline
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personally i'd just eat a bunch of pintos and cabbage and then fart real loudly. it also has the added benefit of drifting upwards which kind of gives you a two for one impact.
  #28  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:20 PM
SanVito SanVito is offline
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Honestly, I think you've built this up to be something it isn't.

I've lived in many apartments, including 18th century houses that have zero soundproofing, and without fail, I hardly ever hear the people below me. That 18th C house I lived in though, boy, the people upstairs drove me crazy. The cheek of it, walking around, taking a shower, watching TV, anyone would think they'd been sent in to make me paranoid.

Seriously, chances are, you can hear her every move and she has no idea, and can't hardly hear you at all. Move out, get over it, and really, stop shouting abuse at her.
  #29  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:21 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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I think you should see a doctor, and tell him everything you've told us. Pack a bag- you may be going on 'vacation' after that.
  #30  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:28 PM
Skammer Skammer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freudian Slit View Post
Based on the OP's other posts I'm half expecting him to declare that the upstairs neighbor is also secretly gassing him at night based on the fact that sometimes he sleeps more heavily than usual.
This is that guy?

OK, definitely paranoid. Maybe not in the clinical sense, but in the common-use sense in any case.
  #31  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:32 PM
BigBertha BigBertha is offline
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Aluminum foil on the ceiling. Trust me.
  #32  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:32 PM
badbadrubberpiggy badbadrubberpiggy is offline
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Originally Posted by SanVito View Post
Honestly, I think you've built this up to be something it isn't.

I've lived in many apartments, including 18th century houses that have zero soundproofing, and without fail, I hardly ever hear the people below me. That 18th C house I lived in though, boy, the people upstairs drove me crazy. The cheek of it, walking around, taking a shower, watching TV, anyone would think they'd been sent in to make me paranoid.

Seriously, chances are, you can hear her every move and she has no idea, and can't hardly hear you at all. Move out, get over it, and really, stop shouting abuse at her.
Same here, I can always hear my upstairs neighbors in older buildings, but never downstairs neighbors. Even if I wanted to follow a downstairs neighbor around their apartment, I wouldn't have the slightest idea where they were or what they were doing.

Your neighbor has no idea where you are when you're in your apartment, or what you're doing. You're the one doing all the listening to her movements.

And you call her "theiving" in your OP - has she stolen anything from you or anyone else that you're aware of?
  #33  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:38 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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And you call her "theiving" in your OP - has she stolen anything from you or anyone else that you're aware of?

Can't you see that she has stolen his freedom? He can't even move without her knowing about it!!
  #34  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:39 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freudian Slit View Post
Based on the OP's other posts I'm half expecting him to declare that the upstairs neighbor is also secretly gassing him at night based on the fact that sometimes he sleeps more heavily than usual.
This is that guy?

OK, definitely paranoid. Maybe not in the clinical sense, but in the common-use sense in any case.
Oh, no, it's not the same guy but he has posted some bizarre stuff. Check out his thread on cocoa beans.
  #35  
Old 08-04-2010, 02:43 PM
Hal Briston Hal Briston is offline
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When you see her, do you constantly roll your eyes at her?
  #36  
Old 08-04-2010, 03:49 PM
Alessan Alessan is online now
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It's not just her who's listening to you.

We all are.
  #37  
Old 08-04-2010, 03:58 PM
Skammer Skammer is offline
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Actually, thanks to your internet connection and computer speakers, I'm listening to you right now. You need a webcam, though.
  #38  
Old 08-04-2010, 04:03 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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Actually, thanks to your internet connection and computer speakers, I'm listening to you right now. You need a webcam, though.


I will pm you the link to the webcam that the rest of us can see the OP with.
  #39  
Old 08-04-2010, 04:16 PM
Rhythmdvl Rhythmdvl is offline
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May I recommend Klingon Opera? I think I shall.
Or if you're feeling really sadistic, Vogon poetry.
  #40  
Old 08-04-2010, 06:06 PM
IaMoDiNaRy IaMoDiNaRy is offline
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Posskb,

Quote:
But it's hard to enjoy this freedom with Ms. old, fat, ugly, lying, thieving, spying bitch upstairs. I have often called her this and much worse recently while she listens upstairs to make it less enjoyable but it hasn't helped. She probably likes the attention.
So you've been yelling these things out to the ceiling? My advice is to stop doing that immediately. What if she records you behaving like a nutjob?

I understand from your OP that YOU can easily tell where your upstairs neighbor is by her squeaky floor. What I'm not clear on is how you think SHE can tell where you are? Do you think she's lying down on the floor to listen? Do you make a lot of noise going about your day and this is maybe how she follows you around? Maybe she thinks you're as annoying as you think she is......

From previous experience, I know how irritating a squeaky floor can be. Ask the landlord if there is anything that can be done about it. If YOU can't hear the floor squeak, then YOU won't know if she's following you around anymore.
  #41  
Old 08-04-2010, 07:17 PM
Walmarticus Walmarticus is offline
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I'm disappointed in you people. Must we demean the OP by telling him to get on his meds, or get institutionalized? The tenant above my grandma did something similar. She would nit or read in the rooms above wherever my grandma had her visitors, because I guess the muffled conversations made her place feel less empty.

Granted, the OP's scenario is more distinct. I'm still not going to call him crazy.
  #42  
Old 08-04-2010, 07:22 PM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
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I don't think we'd be doing the OP any favors if we pretended that this is perfectly normal. There's obviously some paranoia going on here, and I really do recommend he see a doctor.
  #43  
Old 08-04-2010, 07:27 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Originally Posted by Freudian Slit View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skammer View Post
This is that guy?

OK, definitely paranoid. Maybe not in the clinical sense, but in the common-use sense in any case.
Oh, no, it's not the same guy but he has posted some bizarre stuff. Check out his thread on cocoa beans.


Oh dear. Dear dear dear. That's rather...interesting.
  #44  
Old 08-04-2010, 07:28 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
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Granted, the OP's scenario is more distinct. I'm still not going to call him crazy.
Read the OP's other thread linked in post#34 and then tell me that there isn't something seriously wrong in paradise with a straight face. The meter is pegging off the chart.
  #45  
Old 08-04-2010, 07:34 PM
Otara Otara is offline
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I dont think theres anything wrong with suggesting the idea of consulting a professional, it can be an easy way of checking that you are or arent paranoid as they can check out the evidence in more detail and offer possible solutions.

Mocking a person who seems to be in distress and is asking for help is the disappointing bit.

Otara
  #46  
Old 08-04-2010, 07:38 PM
Walmarticus Walmarticus is offline
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Granted, the OP's scenario is more distinct. I'm still not going to call him crazy.
Read the OP's other thread linked in post#34 and then tell me that there isn't something seriously wrong in paradise with a straight face. The meter is pegging off the chart.
I'll admit, he sounds nothing like my grandma. My grandma routinely underestimates the dangerous and misunderstood topic that is raw cocoa beans.

I won't criticize him for this thread.
  #47  
Old 08-04-2010, 07:43 PM
Superhal Superhal is offline
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Unless she has x-ray vision or you have a glass ceiling, I don't see how she can figure out where you are. Also, I really doubt she's listening to you if she's directly overhead. It's much easier to hear if you stay by a window.
  #48  
Old 08-04-2010, 08:18 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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I'm disappointed in you people. Must we demean the OP by telling him to get on his meds, or get institutionalized? The tenant above my grandma did something similar. She would nit or read in the rooms above wherever my grandma had her visitors, because I guess the muffled conversations made her place feel less empty.

Granted, the OP's scenario is more distinct. I'm still not going to call him crazy.
Okay, this is almost as weird as the OP. How did your grandma even know that? Maybe she's the peeping tom!
  #49  
Old 08-04-2010, 08:52 PM
Walmarticus Walmarticus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Walmarticus View Post
I'm disappointed in you people. Must we demean the OP by telling him to get on his meds, or get institutionalized? The tenant above my grandma did something similar. She would nit or read in the rooms above wherever my grandma had her visitors, because I guess the muffled conversations made her place feel less empty.

Granted, the OP's scenario is more distinct. I'm still not going to call him crazy.
Okay, this is almost as weird as the OP. How did your grandma even know that? Maybe she's the peeping tom!
They became friends and she told her.
  #50  
Old 08-04-2010, 09:33 PM
IaMoDiNaRy IaMoDiNaRy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freudian Slit View Post

Okay, this is almost as weird as the OP. How did your grandma even know that? Maybe she's the peeping tom!
They became friends and she told her.
That's a good idea!!! Hey Posskb, have you thought about going upstairs or if this isn't possible, giving her a call? Apologize for the name calling first, of course , and then explain about how much the squeaky floor is bothering you and can you enlist her help in approaching the landlord or apartment manager about getting it fixed. Maybe you two can become allies instead of enemies. Maybe she's just lonely....... It's possible...
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