Sunday, February 15, 2015

Dilemma of the Drunk

There has so much written about celebrity, drunkenness, and getting sober....I'm finding it seriously interesting. Everyone has an opinion. People arguing about whether AA works, with so many other myriad rehabilitation techniques. Charlie Sheen was quoted as saying, "AA is one size fits all and that may not work for everyone."
Many experts have spoken, medical professionals, mental-health professionals, and investigative journalists who have interviewed and reported their interpretations of what this despicable illness has done to individuals, families, and communities.
No one can dispute their findings or their accuracy.

Everyone has a valid point and yet.........the one area that seems to be never spoken of is why is it so difficult to get and stay sober? I mean what is all the fuss about really? Wouldn't celebrities want to be sober if they could be? Well let me ask you the reader a question:
This is a multiple choice question; either/or
1) would you rather drink and feel emotional struggling, no anxiety, a sense of freedom and abandonment, no feelings of inferiority or inadequacy or would you rather stay sober and feel overwhelming depression, feelings of inadequacies, and anxiety to the point of being completely catatonic and not being able to get off the couch? which would you choose?
Well of -course if there weren't horrific repercussions from drinking you would definitely choose drinking to take away all your cares and woes...everyone would. and most people do..a couple of drinks at night to relax and let the worries of the day fall away. Well supposing you weren't able to do that... supposing you could never ever take the edge off...but had to sit with the frustrations, and injustices of life every single waking moment without a edge taker off-er. Well kids that's what getting sober is all about. So why is there such surprise when people don't choose that?

These celebrities have an inalienable right to drink and die .....and they have the money and power to get enough caretakers around them to keep it going. Let them. It's their life.  They can live their life however they want. Will they eventually lose their looks, their minds,, their friends, their families? Well of-course they will. But that is not our business. Hopefully they will not drive over a 5 year old child and kill him/her.
As my friend Nancy used to say. "Everyone gets sober ...some people do it in life and some people do it in death, but everyone gets sober.

I chose sober.............screaming and thrashing all the way.
Has it been terrific? Sometimes, and  sometimes so emotionally and painfully horrifying that checking out seemed like a better option. What it has been is REAL...terrifyingly real. And after a lot of years...kinda fabulous. At some point the navel gazing ceases and the narcissism disintegrates and "growing up happens."
Oh cool...Growing up. Yup growing up. That's when you realize that you are not overly sensitive but actually just immature. That growing up.

So if you are riding the fence about sober...Go for it. But make sure to grab your ass..cause you are going for a hell of a ride.

This and That

Well I'm back to blogging...ha ha ha. Think I have written a couple of blogs over the years and then rapidly stopped after judging all of them as inadequate..hmmmmmm
But I'm bacccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

Here's a couple of tidbits I wanted to share.  First of all my pal Richard Munchkin along with Chuck Rounds and I are working on a podcast series called; Las Vegas Strip Diaries. We will interviewing Las Vegas personalities, and you can listen to the podcasts on Las Vegas Advisor and also CallBacknews. I will keep you posted on the launch.

My pals from LA (with deep roots to the Vegas community) are working on a film called Baked Ziti.
Here is the information:

Baked Ziti is a mob comedy short about a couple of second-rate wiseguys who have to whack their boss' rivals or get whacked themselves. But they're not killers, they're thieves. Desperate for a way out, they learn about a place where anyone who sits with a guy named Louie when he eats baked ziti gets miraculously killed. It's a long shot they have to take. But can they get the rivals, Louie and the ziti together and pull it off to stay alive?

Dominic and Kaenan Oliver are former Vegas residents, and Dom's an alum (who studied with Vegas entertainment veterans Minnie Madden and Jerry Tiffe) of the late Joseph Bernard's acting school. Dom has acquired a long acting resume in L.A. and, together, they are multi-prize-winning screenwriters with their partner Jay Flynn, who've been in development with various Hollywood companies including one at Columbia Pictures. The trio wrote a novel that's available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble and sold a script for the Lifetime Network. Late last year, the Olivers wrote Baked Ziti, a hilarious mob comedy that a group of gifted actors and filmmakers encouraged them to make. They've assembled a killer cast, director and crew, all with extensive industry credits. To name a few, the director is Emmy winner Sascha Schneider; Ronnie Marmo, formerly Ronnie Dimestico on General Hospital, plays the lead; the boss is James Marshall of Twin Peaks and A Few Good Men; film and TV legend Carmine Caridi (Godfather II and II, NYPD Blue) plays Louie; also in the cast is Leslie Simms who plays Sister Margaret on the CW's Jane the Virgin; and Dominic playing the part of Rossi, the cop.

Baked Ziti is currently funding on Check out the promo reel and rewards here:

Okay that's it for now.
 Till Next Time

Monday, August 26, 2013

Dumb Days

 I've got a girlfriend that says that one of the best things in life to do for your own growth and development is to take a DUMB DAY. What is a dumb day you ask?

Well....a dumb day is a day that you do not try to solve any of your life's problems ...real or imagined.
You do not call the bank, accountant, or HMO provider. You do not go on a diet, join a gym, or attempt the New York Times crossword puzzle. You do not attend the new Anthony Robbins seminar entitled, "Mimicking the successful paradigm of your financial consultant." You do not confront your boyfriend/girlfriend/ husband/wife/ significant other/not so significant other, with any of your frustrations, disappointments, or bad root canal stories. Basically you do not sign up or join, nor do you commit to, anyone or anything. If your business partner wants to meet for cocktails and sardine appetizers the answer is, "NO." If your landlord wants to discuss the new airline runway destined to go through your living room the answer is, "NO." If you have a delivery package from Neiman Marcus or Hattie's Hot Tubs waiting at the post office do not pick it up. If there is a shoe sale at Nordstroms ...(Well that is obviously not a good example...)
Continuing on..
If your friend can get you into a new self-help course entitled, "Miraculous Lives," for an all time low price of $99.95 you say, "NO." Everything is NO NO NO NO NO NO.
And why do you ask?
Because you are taking a DUMB DAY.

A dumb day begins with eating some kind of dumb meal, one that does not demand cooking, cleaning, chopping, spicing, baking, gardening, grating or juicing. Cereal in a plastic throwaway bowl and plastic throwaway flatware is preferable. There should be no showering, primping, dressing, moussing, or douching. The preferred dress is ripped non-matching pajamas, worn slippers and the oldest bathrobe that hasn't been thrown out yet. The events of the day will need to include as many reruns of Law and Order as the TV day has available. There is an abundant amount of this programing so that will not be a problem. For lunch anything wrapped in cellophane that doesn't have an expiration date of 1882 is acceptable. Dinner is a frozen TV dinner with no more than 2 lines of microwave instructions. Cooking time not to exceed 5 minutes. There will be no defrosting.
You will not do your nails, catch up on bills or watch world news. You will accept that on this day you will not be inspired, enthused, or motivated to do anything except be dumb.

There will be no insight into your life, and no baking bread from scratch. You will not put a new hard drive into your computer, take up Italian, prune the rose bushes, macrame a pull over, practice Tai Kwondo, nor go door to door selling Teflon coated furry welcome mats. You will not mail cards, wrap gifts, or give your pet turtle a bath.

Turn over all the self-help posters in your home..cover up.." A life unexamined is not a life worth living." The only thing you will be examining today is your TV remote. There will be no dusting, polishing, or meditating. You will not answer the phone, run the dishwasher, take out the trash, or paste photos in an album. You will not "be nice" to anyone. You will not mow the lawn, talk to the neighbors, or sign up for Thai cooking class. And most importantly you will not not you hear me? not get on the bathroom scale, or log onto Facebook.

So why??? Well in todays world of too much ... too many errands to run, too many phone messages, too many e-mails, and too much self-degradation for not being able to keep up with too much to do, it's nice to get dumb once in awhile. The world demands that we stay in touch, on our mark, on top of our game, on top of it all....and that my dear friends is just tooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. There are too many demands on our time, our lives, and our spirits. So, get dumb. In the 60's or 70's or whenever.... they named it....."tuning out." It's now the 21st century and time for a more dignified name. My pal named it DUMB DAY.

Seems like a perfect name to me.

Love and Laugh
Minnie Madden

Monday, October 24, 2011

One Ear Hair

One ear hair

A few months ago I discovered one hair growing on my ear; about ¼ of an inch in length. It was growing out of the fleshy part of the ear. According to the medical journals it was where the anti-tragus meets the anti-helix… (As if that makes a difference.) The fleshy part of the lobe where the ridge is. (Not inside the ear thank-you very much)
Now of itself that probably doesn’t seem very dramatic. Well of –course it doesn’t seem very dramatic…. it isn’t HAPPENING TO YOU.
Obviously in the scope of importance it isn’t the oil spill, Iraq, Iran, the recent Republican debate the Wall Street movement, or Paris Hiltons’s evanescent career.(Sidebar: did you know that she wears a size 13 shoe?? Whoa! NO shoe modeling contracts for those boats.)

Oops I digress.
Okay now back to the errant hair growing out of my ear. Well obviously my first concern is WHO SAW THIS?

I’m usually not interested in image management. But this was definitely different.

What is image management you ask?

Image management is an illusionary way of being where you painstakingly control what you say, do, and wear for the benefit of other people…bosses, spouses, friends, and the general public. You want to manage their opinion of you so you speak, act, and dress in a certain manner under the illusion that people 1) look 2) see 3) or actually give a shit, about what you are saying, doing, or wearing.
This is not dressing for success…. (Another article another time) this is dressing for an image that you want to portray to the world. You want to control how other people view you. People you know and people you don’t know. It’s an equal opportunity disguise. It lives somewhere between adolescence and Los Angeles.

It is planned, plotted, and perpetuated in the mind of the individual.

It’s based on what will they think of me? Without really answering the important question of: WHO ARE “THEY.” (My pal Patty once said, “you know who THEY are…they are the imaginary people looking in your window to see whether you cleaned your apartment today...” That’s who THEY are.)

For so long I have claimed not to give a crapola about THEM and here I was wondering WHO SAW MY EAR HAIR. (For edification…only ONE (1) hair…so far anyway. Thank-you very much.)

And now I was one of them…the image management group. I had to admit I cared about what THEY thought. Wouldn’t you?

My capricious thinking started to image all sorts of scenarios. How long had it been there? What if the hair was flapping in the wind at the gym while I was on the treadmill? Of-course that didn’t happen because I don’t go to the gym. When my pals and I went to PF Changs for dinner did one of them not order the noodle dish as the result of a subliminal response to (THE HAIR?)

If I had not noticed it …could it have eventually looped around my belt? Who knows how deep this thing can go??

I had nightmares. Headlines, “Extra Extra read all about it”….”Mops of hair growing out of woman’s ears; Surgeons baffled”… …The Enquirer wants to know!….Ear hair suffocates woman. A forest in her ear. (sounds like a song doesn’t it?) Death by tangle?

Oh it just went on an on….as it usually does ……….the ubiquitous state of embarrassment. I was mortified. I RAN AROUND FOR AT LEAST A DAY WITH A HAIR GROWING OUT OF MY EAR.: and everyone saw it and NO ONE SAID ANYTHING. Ha! and they call themselves friends!!!

This has got to stop!

I solved my problem by buying a suicide mirror; that’s the 12x one. You know …you look in the mirror and your pores have pores. Everything is so large you can only look at your nose, lips, or eyes but not all at once. I carry it with me everywhere…that and a pair of tweezers...

This isn’t image management it’s survival.

OMG……….are they the same thing?? Image management and survival?? Maybe those people who are pre-occupied with how they 1) look 2) talk 3) act 4) look are just trying to survive. Maybe they are just afraid of being themselves…or maybe they don’t know who they are….so they pretend to be what they think other people will 1) respect 2) fear 3) be impressed by and most importantly 4) like.

Okay another lesson learned….I say to all you image management people out there…carry on……...there’s room for all of us on this earth and I no longer judge you…My (1) one ear hair and I are one of your tribe.

I now understand.

Monday, October 17, 2011

I had a mid-life crisis in Cleveland

The First Mid-Life Crisis

About 10 years ago I had a mid-life crisis waiting for Southwest flight #1455 from Cleveland to Las Vegas. It was my first one (not flight...but rather mid-life crisis.) This announcement comes over the loud speaker that the flight has been delayed due to storms in St. Louis. Storms? It's June 22 (I remember the day) What storms??? So I'm reading this great book and figure what the's an 8 hour flight ..because this particular flight stops now it will be a 10-12  hour flight. Who cares I've got nothing pending.

Nothing pending how could that be??? I've been busy since I was 11. .What does that mean nothing pending??? I apparently had urgent pendings at the age of 11. I know from pending. I've been pending all my life...........But really I have nothing pending now. How can I go on without pending, and the anxiety from the pending ??? Can I live without pending???

I remember thinking I could call everyone that has left a message on my phone. (I always make calls from the airport.) Okay... let's see who would have called?? my "recovery" pals who think I know something...some never ending work calls , or friends calling to see what I am up to...What am I up to?? are you kidding ?? I'm without pending can I be up to anything ? But alas I didn't want to talk with anyone. "That's strange, " I thought. My whole life is based on catching up. I live for that. I live to check things off my list. I'm the kind of person that thinks that one day everything will be done and I'll sit down and put my feet up and say, ( I don't know what I would say because like the rest of the world I've never gotten to that point.)

And then it hit me...I don't want to return calls .........I don't want to do anything. There's no one I want to talk to and I have been talking all of my life. OH MY GOD I'm having a mid-life crisis in Cleveland waiting for flight #1455 to Las Vegas. I don't want to read my great book or fabulous W magazine. Oh my God I'm ____________ years old (not ready to devulge my age to you yet) and I've paid for enough therapy to open an outlet mall, self-medicated myself into spending 25+ years in a recovery program, groped my way into meaning and purpose, self-evaluated, self-examined, and self whatever into a mid-life crisis? That is what I'm having isn't it?

And then it came to me....I have examined every component of my psyche, but not planned one damn thing in my life. I just rolled. Life happened and I went for it. One gig after another. You gotta roll with it baby.
And when the rolling stopped............
.... I folded...........major meltdown in Cleveland..
not apparent to the naked eye but exceedingly apparent to my soul. I got scared there wouldn't be a second act.
Well, I recovered from Cleveland and then 10 years later............... as in last year...............
another major meltdown. ANOTHER FU--NG MID-LIFE CRISIS. NO NO NO. yes yes yes.

Again nothing pending AGAIN. So no third act????

So I'm here to tell you there is always another act. You want to know what a mid-life crisis is???........besides picking up a blonde and buying a yellow convertible corvette and a new toupe (for males)  and driving fast on a coastal highway wishing you had a different birth certificate and a different divorce attorney.  A mid-life crisis is thinking and almost believing there are no more surprises for you in life....and no next act...the curtain has come down. So I'm here to tell you that the curtain has not come down.
Show up another day
Dare to be surprised
and if that doesn't work
buy an internet radio station.............
I did.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

too many passwords

I decided to buy an internet radio station.  (am doing this with Chuck Rounds ...whom I've got an arts and commericial photography business with called MaddMeat)
This is my first step in reinventing myself. I've reinvented myself so many times in the past couple of years I've got whiplash.
Do I know anything about owning an internet radio station? of-course not, but that has never stopped me in the past. Had I ever thought about owning an internet radio station before last week. UHHHHHH No. Have I ever listened to radio internet? UHHHHHHHHHH No.
Can I spell internet radio? YES. Wew. has video streaming. Fell in love with that as soon as it was explained to me. Have I ever watched video streaming on internet radio? Well since I've never listened to internet radio before this I guess the answer is No.
I've owned the business for a week now and all I can say is: there are a lot of programs and passwords and all I know how to do is schedule the Bobby D show in the computer. Chuck's the smarty pants engineering guy so he seems to know what to do while I stress about not knowing and get sick from the stress and then need to take a day off, which leaves him more to do. Ahhhhhhh the price of partnerships.
We both have 9 other jobs ...his all real and mine imagined...but I think about them and that stresses me out too..even if they don't exist in reality.
Going into week 2 of internet radio land now...and will keep you posted. Just wanted to take a moment and thank my pal RW Munchkin for supporting the idea and my pal Mitchell Greenberg for sending me this quote.
"If at first the idea is not absurd; then there is no hope for it." Albert Einstein
Stay tuned

Saturday, October 24, 2009

How to handle "know it alls" recently I have wanted to start a blog..why? guess I must think I have something to say. Life is hard and I wanted to share some of the wonderous advice and insight I have received throughout the years which has helped me stay vertical when permanent horizontal seemed like the only good idea.
of-course I had a lot to say a few weeks ago..but today not so I will just leave this page with one of my favorite quotes..
"Knowledge is experience..everything else is information." Albert Einstein

That being said.........for all the "know it alls" in your immediate circle ....people who act like experts diminish everyone else...stop listening and go have a cup of tea/ and keep on walking.