Pocket-Sized — maymay: unquietpirate: rubices: ...








speaking of anti-rape activism, LOL the idea that having a particular kink will magically keep you from being a rapist. That worked out so well for the kink scene as a whole!

…I actually don’t even know what you’re referencing here. This entire post is such a shark-jump. Wtf. 

I think zie’s referencing an idea that being rolequeer magically keeps someone from being a rapist. Which hasn’t been said (to my knowledge)

Yeah, nobody ever said that. Wtf. That is, in fact, the exact opposite of the thing we’ve been saying: That there’s no identity (e.g. “kinkster”) that magically absolves your sex of its relationship to rape culture — and that if you have any integrity, you have to deal with that fact instead of sticking your fingers in your ears and ignoring it.

except on a different meta stack; the D/s paradigm reinforces rape culture, whereas rolequeer paradigms don’t necessarily do that. Analogy: D/s paradigms are like possible human minds, whereas rolequeer paradigms are like the rest of mindspace.

Nods. Yes. That.

Well, actually, there are many people who say things like that. It’s just that those people are people like Ozy. This isn’t even a new tactic. What Ozy and the rest of the “sexually privileged 1%” are doing is like calling a tax loophole for huge multi-national corporations the “small business credit.”

That’s precisely why a bunch of people who have no real clue what they’re talking about (like Ozy), and who have investments in making sure they don’t (and won’t) actually critically examine why relying on a hierarchical power differential (D/s) turns them on, will say that rolequeerness (which is all about an ethical self-examining aimed at dismantling that reliance) does exactly the opposite of what it does.

Ozy’s not interested in examining zir’s own complicity in perpetuating abusive social dynamics. Ozy’s just interested in having awesome sex that zie finds hot, because “fun things are awesome.” And so, again, people for whom those sorts of things are uncomplicated really don’t have any place in a conversation about rolequeerness.

Yeah, seriously. I want to be having this conversation with other rolequeers, not privilege-denying BDSMers like Ozy, Crosswords, Safeword, etc. who are, at best, coming from a place of being stricken by privilege-guilt and at worst simply outright defensive of their narrow view of reality.

Where the hell do these people get off deciding it’s up to them to arbitrate whether or not I exist? This is exactly the kind of bullshit that makes it hard for the people I most want to connect with to speak up about their experiences, and leaves all of us feeling so isolated. ARGH.

All of this is stupid and it’s making me angry and sad. Can we get off Tumblr and go cuddle? This isn’t how I want to spend my day.