Claire Kirby

I’m Claire, I’m in my mid thirties (37 still counts as mid, right?). My claim to fame is that I once spoke to Phillip Schoefield on a Going Live phone in. I know, awesome.

I live with three boys; The Husband, The Big One (6) who believes he is a ninja, and The Little One (2) who never ever stands still.

We live in a Lego house. We don’t really, but we have so much off the stuff I could probably build one.

The Blog:

This blog is mainly about the amusing side of parenting, and life with small people. If you’ve ever been wedged in the rollers at soft play, or forgotten the change bag the day your kid projectiles, you my friend are not alone. Like anything in life, this blog is best enjoyed with tea and chocolate.

Entries by Claire Kirby

Family Friendly Hotels: Is There Such a Thing?

(1) Comments | Posted 6 June 2016 | (14:42)

I can't be the only parent out there that thinks hotels 'Family Rooms' are more like 'Torture Parents Rooms'. After several overnight stays confined to the one room with the small people, I have decided that no, there is no such thing as a family friendly hotel.

Our hotel stays...

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Where Do Babies Come From?

(7) Comments | Posted 27 May 2016 | (00:00)

The Big Questions.

I thought I would be a no nonsense mum when it came to the 'awkward' or 'embarrassing' things that my children would ask. The big questions. I admire those mums who use the correct words for body parts, I really do. But I can't say penis without...

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DIY Before Kids vs DIY After Kids

(0) Comments | Posted 12 May 2016 | (00:00)

When we announced our pregnancy with our firstborn my Dad gave us some very good advice.

"Do any decorating and home improvements before the baby comes, because after the baby comes you will not have the time, the money, or the inclination."

My Dad was right. And...

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Why I Don't Have a Five Year Plan

(0) Comments | Posted 2 May 2016 | (21:10)

It's one of those standard interview questions isn't it, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?" I used to have all the answers. Not anymore.

Before I became a parent I lived very much for the future. Short term I lived for the weekend and the nights out....

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Pushchair Etiquette

(9) Comments | Posted 7 April 2016 | (00:00)

My pushchair is my constant accessory right now. school run, shops, park, it's there with me. It goes with every outfit, pair of shoes (mainly flat), and handbag (always huge), and will remain in fashion for the foreseeable future. I have gotten so used to this accessory, that I feel...

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The Luxury of Being a Stay at Home Mum

(1) Comments | Posted 7 March 2016 | (16:38)

Let me start this post with a caveat. If you are looking for a mum war about stay at home mums verses working mums, then please go elsewhere. This is not what this post is about. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

I was a stay at home mum, and...

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How to Survive World Book Day - Next Year

(1) Comments | Posted 1 March 2016 | (23:00)

The mention of World Book Day makes me break out into a cold sweat. I love getting lost in a good book. I love sharing books from my childhood with my children, and discovering new ones. I love the idea behind World Book Day.

I do not love trying to...

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Valentine's: Before Kids vs After Kids

(5) Comments | Posted 11 February 2016 | (23:00)

People say that romance is difficult after kids. I would actually argue that due to a significant drop in both standards and expectations, romance after the children come along, is actually easier.

Allow me to demonstrate...

Romance Before Kids - The pressure was on to be spontaneous. The element of...

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Pregnancy Bloom Vs Pregnancy Gloom

(0) Comments | Posted 12 January 2016 | (23:00)

Being pregnant is undoubtedly a blessing. And some of us are doubly blessed in that we sail through pregnancy with very few twinges and are constantly heard saying, "I'm pregnant, not ill". Then there are those of us that have every symptom under the sun, and absolutely demand that you...

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That's Not Going on the Christmas List

(1) Comments | Posted 20 December 2015 | (23:00)

I love a good list. I'm not exclusive. I normally have at least 10 different lists on the go an any time. Even more so at this time of the year. These lists include Christmas lists for the small people.

Over the years I have learned to filter these lists...

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Why The Elf is Not Welcome on My Shelf

(3) Comments | Posted 9 December 2015 | (18:50)

I love Christmas. I can rival my 6 year old in the excitement stakes. I can never sleep on Christmas Eve, despite the fact that I am a 36 (very nearly 37) year old adult. There's no denying it's a stressful time of year and to-do lists are never ending,...

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Nativity Children

(0) Comments | Posted 1 December 2015 | (23:00)

It's that time of year again. Children have been busy practicing their songs. Parents have been frantic trying to pull together camel costumes. Teachers are preparing for organised chaos and (I imagine) doing a lot of holding their heads in their hands. It's nativity season.

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Parenting Badges

(1) Comments | Posted 8 November 2015 | (23:00)

A while ago I wrote a somewhat soppy post called the Mummy Badge. I spoke about when my small people were tiny, and I had to go somewhere without them, it felt like I was missing a limb. I wanted everyone to know I was a mum. In...

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The Consequences Axing Cbeebies Will Have on Great Britain

(1) Comments | Posted 16 September 2015 | (00:00)

You can't have escaped the rumour circulating your news feed that the BBC are threatening to axe Cbeebies from our lives.  There has of course been a public outcry from enraged parents and threats of turning up to the BBC on mass to protest with toddlers in tow.  Whilst I...

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Why Parents Should Not Have Their Wisdom Teeth Removed

(0) Comments | Posted 2 September 2015 | (14:17)

Going to the dentist is not something many people look forward to.  It's not exactly the highlight of events on the calendar is it?  I'm one of those people who grips the chair for dear life, slugs huge gulps of air, and sweats profusely whilst trying to maintain a degree of...

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Mummy Injuries

(0) Comments | Posted 14 August 2015 | (12:33)

The little one is 16 Months old.  Not a tiny baby anymore, yet not quite a toddler.  He's at that precarious in-between stage.  Climbing without knowing the consequences, running when he's not yet got enough miles under the belt walking.  There are bumps and bruises a plenty. Mainly mine.


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Family Holidays: The Packing

(0) Comments | Posted 11 August 2015 | (00:00)

Universal fact: Small people come with a lot of crap.

Wherever you go, the small people go, and too their crap.

But going on holiday? You need a week off just to pack the crap.

Remember when you used to fill a whole suitcase with your own stuff? All the...

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We Are Not Rivals

(47) Comments | Posted 3 August 2015 | (00:00)

To the mother who breastfed her baby until they needed it no more; I know the amazing feeling that comes with knowing your little one is getting everything they need from you. Your body is an incredible thing. I know too, the sheer exhaustion you have felt when it's all...

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Ten Ways to Bring on Labour - A Not So Helpful Lowdown

(0) Comments | Posted 23 July 2015 | (00:00)

Fed up? Fit to burst? Can't remember what it feels like to be able to bend in the middle? Peed 25 times already today and it's only 10 O'clock in the morning? Ready to smack the next person who asks "haven't you had that baby yet" in the face?

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What the Baby Books Don't Tell You

(0) Comments | Posted 17 July 2015 | (00:00)

I've just found out that a friend of mine is expecting her first birthday. Cue lots of girly squeals of delight and weeping tears of joy. Now as you know as soon as you have a baby on board the whole world and their dog and flippin cat have advice...

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