Real Disorder Needs Real Compassion

(continued from Part One elsewhere)

And then there’s the other question: how to handle situations in which people, whatever their states of brokenness and healing, want to access basic social necessities (access to institutions, the ol’ “bathroom” question, etc.) that we would not dream of denying anyone, but which are treated socially or administratively under conventions that they don’t “fit” in some way?

It seems obvious to me that we should make such decisions with careful reasoning that preserves intact–lip-service to neither–two principles:

  • Reasonable people try to encourage the integration of each person into any society whose formal principle that person espouses; and
  • Reasonable people do not demand social integration as a means of destroying a society whose formal principles they oppose.

Now, a society whose formal principles are based in the reality of the creaturely being of humans is not going to be able to agree that someone who is known to be a man should be approved in presenting as a woman (except obviously for comedy &c) or vice versa. However, a society whose formal principles included hospitality to those who do not fully understand its principles, or who espoused its principles but were not at this time able to “fit” its conventions, might obviously seek some third way.

Such a third way seems manifestly appropriate, for example, in the case of Christian schools (and, frankly, ought to satisfy secular requirements best, too): the availability of one-hole “family” bathrooms that had already begun to provide a less-awkward facility for Mommy out with The Boy or Daddy out with The Girl. If one is interested in reality, rather than defeating euphemism in order to secure nominal endorsement, that provides a “fig leaf.”

Also, it should not be omitted that a basic habit of decency forbids peering into other’s off-stage (hence potentially “obscene”) behavior uninvited, where such knowledge is not forced upon one (which is unseemly) or part of one’s strict obligations (as, for example, a pastor to teachers in a religious school). Thus a hospitable society should consider finding many tacit ways to reinforce that habit, to make the use of one’s genitalia not seem like a fit subject of everyday conversation.

Good luck with that, in a day when trying to be nice to everyone and not ask about their tackle makes you a probable target of a lawsuit or a federal administrative action, though; I say better to be boldly “out” about Christian principle, down to the metaphysical nitty-gritty, and then throw arms wide and red carpets of hospitality, friendship bread and all, out to any who nonetheless choose to come among you, no matter what kind or where from. And good luck with that, too.

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