Hey guys! Pre-Reader Masked Ferret here. I decided that the staff page desperately needed some updating and polishing so you guys can know who the awesome folks behind all the pony are. So after far too much work and hunting people down I present to you the updated and improved staff page!
Check it out below the break!
Below the horizontal line, you will find a good amount of the people that make EQD awesome. While the blog is essentially fan-driven, these guys help manage and control it so we don't get flooded in a deluge of everything and become the next Youtube or Fanfiction.net.
There are two primary categories:
Blogponies/Staff - Aka the folks who give us all awesome content.
Pre-Readers - Aka those who are in charge of making sure stories go up.
Check them all out below!
Sethisto: ADMIN / TRIXIE ENTHUSIAST AND MASCOT ORGANIZER
Seth's Twitter
Seth's Interview
Bio: Posting ponies and there is nothing you can do about it! I use the exclamation point way too much, play gtalk/steam social whack-a-mole for one half the day, and dig through emails for the other half.
People seem to think I like Trixie a little bit too much! To them I say: Pretty much.
(Honestly Twilight Sparkle is my favorite pony.)
My OC apparently got locked in a cube or something.
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| And then my OC pony was Pepé Le Pew |
Cereal Velocity: MINISTER OF RENAISSANCE (When he has time)
Cereal's Twitter
Cereal's Interview
Bio: Joined the fandom in early January 2011, and started writing articles and posts for the blog about a month later because he bothered Seth so much that he decided that it would be easier to make him an author than continue to put up with him. Has penned many works of original pony fiction, including a writing guide for new creative writers. Practices visual effects and motion graphics work with his Equestrian Innovations series. Professional software developer. Rarity best pony.
Phoe: EVENT COORDINATOR
Phoe's Twitter
Phoe's Interview
Bio: Phoe is Equestria Daily's company cheerleader, editor, and occasional author. She turned up one day wearing a suit and enthusiastically waving her resume, only to receive a pat on the back and be told it wasn't "that kind of website". Several hours worth of moping about a wasted degree later, she got the job all the same. Rumors persist that she is an evil enchantress who does evil dances, and may or may not be plotting to use ponies as a platform for world conquest. She cannot write an entertaining bio to save her life.
Calpain: COMMUNITY LIASON
Calpain's Twitter
Calpain's Interview
Bio: Serving second in command on the website, Calpain first stumbled into the offices of EqD seeking employment in the Equestrian Innovations division. While waiting to pass Equestrian Innovations extensive battery of background checks and tests he was given a job as blog author in order to keep him from constantly mailing stuff in to the site. Currently mans a number of features on the site, particularly Roundups, Nightly Discussions, Spotlights, Comics, and anything that needs posting.
Joined the fandom in February 2011 and actively began participating in pony communities starting in April that year. Currently looking into teaching as a career after spending two years on a Masters Degree studying Alzheimer's Disease and two years of a PhD studying Parkinson's Disease. Is also an editor Ask Gaming Princess Luna and Hunters of Salamanstra by John Joseco. He also runs the excellent Steven Universe fansite The Beach City Bugle.
Couch Crusader: HEAD WRITER
Couch Crusader's Twitter
Couch Crusader's Interview
Bio: Couch Crusader is living, breathing proof that if you work hard and throw the right bricks through the right windows, you'll be picking up broken glass for a very long time. He spends most of his waking hours getting his hooves wet. When he isn't, he likes to stand behind you and force eye contact.
Couch continues to pre-read fics for Equestria Daily, writes terrifyingly long episode followups, and covers conventions with business and pleasure. He also inspires English majors everywhere by being gainfully employed. Or ires them. These things go 50/50.
Pegasus Rescue Brigade: LEAD INVESTIGATOR
Pegasus Rescue Brigade's Interview
Bio: Pegasus Rescue Brigade’s years of experience in saving ponies in mortal peril has prepared him for stressful and potentially life threatening situations. Like, for instance, working for Equestria Daily.
PRB happened across the fandom right around the end of Season 1 and immediately took to EQD as his main source for pony news. After a year or so of churning out pony fanfiction, he took a job with Equestria Daily’s pre-reading staff. Continually interested in helping with the site’s affairs whenever possible, PRB offered his help on a number of odd-jobs behind the scenes for Sethisto, and eventually found himself promoted to blog author status.
PRB is also active in the pony community outside of EQD, being involved with a few other ongoing projects and podcasts. His favorite pony is Derpy Hooves.
PRB happened across the fandom right around the end of Season 1 and immediately took to EQD as his main source for pony news. After a year or so of churning out pony fanfiction, he took a job with Equestria Daily’s pre-reading staff. Continually interested in helping with the site’s affairs whenever possible, PRB offered his help on a number of odd-jobs behind the scenes for Sethisto, and eventually found himself promoted to blog author status.
PRB is also active in the pony community outside of EQD, being involved with a few other ongoing projects and podcasts. His favorite pony is Derpy Hooves.
Aquaman
Aquaman's Interview
Bio: Aqua's remarkable life began many years ago, when he unleashed himself upon the world by punching his way out of his mother's womb and immediately defeating the entire nursing staff in an arm wrestling/raw-steak-eating contest. After coaching the Toronto Blue Jays to their second straight world series title, Aqua decided that he desired a more lasting impact on the world around him, and promptly shat out the entire Internet we all know and love today, gradually releasing more content when he felt the people of Earth were prepared for it and/or whenever he went to Chipotle. Wealthy from his successes with this new invention, as well as his nearly prophetic stock picks and his side career as a semi-professional cat herder, Aqua soon became curious about the hitherto unknown comforts of provincial life. As a result, he rechristened himself with a more common name and lived as a normal, mild-mannered American child until the spring of 2011, when his curiosity was piqued by his discovery of the untapped wonders of what many mortals refer to simply as... ponies. And the rest, as said mortals also tend to say, is history.
Gameleon: MOBILE PROGRAMMING PROFESSIONAL - NIGHTS WATCH
GameLeon's Twitter
GameLeon's Interview
Bio: Around September 2012 Gameleon contacted Sethisto about a little app he was creating to view EQD posts. Over the following 6 months this little app would evolve to become what is now known as the Equestria Daily app, done just in time to be released for the Season 3 finale news.
Let's just say the app was properly stress tested during Gameleon's first few days on the team.
Learning about the fandom in November 2011 and becoming a more active member after the app was released in March 2013, Gameleon is now part of the EQD team as app developer.
Aside from his app development duties, his contribution to EQD consist of posting minor news posts, and confusing us all with a 7-9 hour time difference and kilometers.
The Masked Ferret: MAIN PRE-READER WRANGLER
The Masked Ferret's Interview
Bio: The masked ferret (Mustela putorius furo) is the domesticated form of the European Polecat, a mammal belonging to the weasel genus of the family Mustelidae. She loves kibble, squeaky toys, and hiding in shoes. Sometimes she will hey did you see that rainbow? It was awesome. kinda like Celestia's mane... but anyways I really love reading silly fics and talking to authors all day long. Things have only gotten better now that I can sometimes sneak posts onto EQD!
The Illustrious Q: OFFICIAL IDW COMIC HUNTER
Illustrious Q's Twitter
Illustrious Q's Interview
Bio: Joined the fandom in March of 2011, first brand new episode he watched live was Over a Barrel. If you think you've seen his name before, you'd be absolutely right. Part of his free time—when he isn't playing Star Trek Online or working on getting materials ready for EQD—he spends as a pre-reader/editor for the king of MLP:FiM fan fiction: Pen Stroke.
His passion lies in the comic industry, which he one day hopes on breaking into as a comic writer. Will that dream possibly come true? Only time will tell.
Be sure to check out the complete IDW My Little Pony Checklist.
Hypermark: WEB DEV AND MUSIC MANAGER
Hypermark's Interview
Bio: Late May, 2011, he saw a bunch of rainbow horses and wanted to see what all the hullabaloo was about, and took part in the first New Artist Training Grounds under a different handle. His made up horse character resides in a tree house outside the Whitetail Wood. Later on, he somehow got in contact with Seth and was tasked with making EQD Music. Raises Dongers, catches all the Pokémons, and makes internets happen.
Cups: THE CARD MASTER
Bio: Cups, aka The Pre-Reader Formerly Known as Cupcakes, fled from his fanfiction duties at EQD to go off and dabble. He helped found BronyCon and ran its 4000+ badge registration department in 2012, created the Humble Brony Bundle, and wrote most of the official Enterplay MLP trading cards. Cups is now on the development team for the My Little Pony CCG, lording over the flavor and theming of the cards, and is the dedicated columnist for the CCG on Equestria Daily. Reports of his alicornification have been greatly exaggerated.
We Are Borg: Editorial Writer
Bio: Joined EQD after 4 years of whining to do so proving once again, that resistance is futile. Borg started in the fandom by running game servers for EQD’s steam group in 2012. In 2013 he became the Associate Director for Ponyville Live! and helped run the pony media conglomerate through its hay days of media wars, convention coverage, and some of the best brony music ever made. He’s also been sighted running lucrative PR and marketing campaigns for BABSCon and Nightmare Nights Dallas. Marriage to the lovely Cynder has mellowed him now and the once fearsome Borg pony now dedicates his time to his family, assimilation, and an occasional EQD editorial. WeAreBorg is also the Head of Friendship is Gaming and Owner of Best Pony Radio.
Pinipy: Artist
Bio: Joined the original mlp fandom when she was a wee toddler, has been
obsessed with it ever since. She is even more obsessed with drawing them
than she is with watching the show, so much so that she somehow managed
to snag an artist position on Equestria Daily and draw cool thingos for
the site. Pinipy sells at conventions too where she cosplays as best
pony, Fluttershy. (She loves both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, though)
Allyster: Artist
Bio: Allyster is an artist and occasional writer for EqD. Joining the online community in 2008 as a 3D artist in the furry community he has spent quite a while admiring cute fluffy animals. My Little pony was no exception, with its arrival he began modeling and writing rhymes before eventually picking up the pencil for the first time in 2014. In only two years he now draws horsies as an artist for Equestria Daily.
Outside of MLP Allyster also makes models and sells them in Second Life. Also works as a writer for independent hip hop, and rap labels.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AllysterEqD
DeviantART: http://allyster-black.deviantart.com/
ABagOVicodin: Editorial Writer
Bio: ABagOVicodin is one of the EQD editorial writers. Legend has it that he showed up for his interview with a dartboard and a bunch of topics. The rest is history. When he isn't wishing that he could have written something better or subsisting on a diet of rice and ramen, he makes YouTube videos in his spare time and aggressively ships Twinkie. Both are equally wrong.
Bio: ABagOVicodin is one of the EQD editorial writers. Legend has it that he showed up for his interview with a dartboard and a bunch of topics. The rest is history. When he isn't wishing that he could have written something better or subsisting on a diet of rice and ramen, he makes YouTube videos in his spare time and aggressively ships Twinkie. Both are equally wrong.
Beebarb: Moderator
Beebarb's Twitter
Bio:Joined the fandom in late 2012 shortly after their niece was born, they got into the show by 'The Return of Harmony'.Knows a fair bit about technology (or tries to anyway), prefers older things from time to time.
They are happy to help, have a bit of fun, or be serious.
*slaps you with a fish*
Octavia: Moderator
Bio: The classiest of ponies. Virtuoso of the strings. That one horse with the large violin.
Octavia is not only a classy musician, she also happens to be Head of Equestria Daily's Moderation Team. A vigilant group who's purpose is to help ensure guests are enjoying their blog experience.
Octavia is not only a classy musician, she also happens to be Head of Equestria Daily's Moderation Team. A vigilant group who's purpose is to help ensure guests are enjoying their blog experience.
An
old-timer to the Brony community, Octavia has been part of this wild
ride since it's very humble beginnings in late 2010 after watching the
season one pilot. She was hooked and took to the internet to see if
others also enjoyed the show. Lurking around Equestria Daily since the
summer of 2011, she has always been an avid and frequent presence on the
site. Hobbies include history, classic cars, art & animation, and
bat ponies. Skree!
Retired Blogponies
Kryptonlogic: EQD MOUSEKETEER
Bio: Greetings Programs, I’m Kryptonlogic! I joined the MLP:FiM fandom back in early 2013 after being “forced” to watch a few episodes of the show by a fellow fan. I was immediately hooked on the show and shortly after found my way to the online fandom. Today, I’m writing for EQD and I’m the Social Media Manager for BronyCon. I’ve always loved interacting with people and I find these 2 things to be the best methods for me.
Outside of MLP:FiM, Kryptonlogic
co-runs one of the internet’s largest unofficial Disney websites. If
you need someone to help you plan your next Disney vacation, I’m your
guy!
One More Thing… Rainbow Dash is INDEED best pony contrary to what anyone else will tell you here.
Xyro: DIRECTOR OF MEDIA
Xyro's Twitter
Xyro's Interview
Bio: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... something happened that doesn't pertain whatsoever to Xyro. He came across the pony phenomenon on a computer forum after seeing dozens of rather abnormally hued equines appearing in the avatars of many members. This spawned what was to be a quick investigation into their meaning, but developed into a two-day marathon of the entire first season. Eventually, and somewhat inevitably, the pastel ponies invaded his home, car, and soul. Corruption became complete at an unrelated convention where an impromptu Pony meetup evolved into a standing-room-only assembly of good friends.
Currently responsible for coordinating the streams, and making sure they don't get crossed.
PK: INTERN FOR LIFE
PK's Twitter
PK's Interview
Bio: Equestria Daily's newest intern, PK was brainwa- er, enslav- uh, I mean hired after he snuck into the office, stole a computer, and posted several updates from a janatorial closet.
PK joined the fandom in late January, not doing much of anything until March, when he started to write fanfiction. He began bothering Seth all the time to fix small issues in the post. How he became a blog author is a mystery not only to himself but to others around him. Current thinking favors glitches in spacetime.
In his spare time, PK enjoys playing piano. His favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle.
(Now in chronological order!)
Bio: Conned into becoming a pre-reader since the first call for them, Alexstrazsa has been a slave to Sethisto's iron hoof from the beginning. Since then, he's been involved with more things in the fandom then he really should, and every day he risks going overpone. The cost is great, and the rewards few, but he does what has to be done.
Noble Cause
Bio: Noble Cause presumably died while crossing the Snake River in 1848, and her body was never found. Since that time she has enjoyed a number of activities such as collecting the rings of plastic that come off of gallon milk jugs and shaving unsuspecting forest animals. By the time she was eight years old, she had aged eight years. Famously, Noble became one of the few people in history to whistle the entire score from Hello Dolly while being chased by the Vienna Boy's Choir. She became interested in literature when Stephen King began sneaking into her house each night and slightly moving each of the chairs. One of the most dedicated Equestria Daily Pre-Readers, Noble pours herself over the submitted stories, namely by transforming herself into a non-Newtonian liquid and spilling across them, absorbing them by osmosis.
Polecat
Bio: Polecat is one of the night shift ponies at Equestria Daily, where she can often be found gleefully dissecting fanfics with her razor sharp wit. A somewhat geeky filly hailing from Baltimare, she found her way to EqD after a disastrous stint in the Royal Guard. How she came to work for Equestria Daily after that is a mystery, even to herself, but she's smart enough not to pass up a good thing. These days she reads fanfics, tries not to eat too many cupcakes, and prays to Celestia nopony finds out why she was discharged.
63.546
Bio: Pre-reader 63.546 was plucked from a greasy alleyway in a desperate attempt to fill a long-standing but obscure statute that the staff employ a village idiot. Luckily, he fit the bill quite well.
However, horror of horrors, beneath the strangely root-beer smelling crust of buffoonery lay... another layer of buffoonery. But below that second layer... and several others... lurked a brutish single-mindedness to make the streets run red with the blood of those who would splice commas.
"But he doesn't know any better!" the blogponies would cry. "We can't lock him away with only a stack of Mary Sue stories and some hardtack. Right? Oh, we can? That's it, then."
Purportedly reformed, he will take a story, nary a glimmer of recognition in his eye, and slowly hand back a list of corrections too long for an intelligent person to have compiled. At least he keeps the grebes at bay. Stupid birds.
Present Perfect
Bio: What can be said of him? Oh, yes, there are the usual matters. Height, weight, the faint odor of garlic in his wake... But no, I believe you're looking for something a bit more memorable. Something tangible, concrete, or distinct... well, I'm afraid none of these adjectives really apply. You see, he's a phantom. A shadow. A sense of encroaching dread mixed with a nigh-palpable ennui. He's a myth, a legend, and in some circles his name is whispered in fervent prayer.
You must understand. There are none who can tell you what he looks like. Any who meet him face to face are never heard from again. No, no, they do not die. They simply stop responding. Whether in fear, or shock, or awe, or any number of other possible emotions, those he encounters spend the rest of their days laughing quietly to themselves, a far-off look in their eye. They never eat, nor drink, nor sleep.
The last one took seven weeks to finally fade away. All the while, the quiet chuckle continued, even after the EKG said he was dead.
I've said too much.
Bio: It took twelve clever stallions and three quarters of a cheese wheel to perfect the algorithm that animates Bradel Bound. Early trials were performed in Japan, where the algorithm was used to teach interpretive dance to impoverished beet farmers. For reasons that remain unclear, a beautiful young nun provided new subroutines that allowed the algorithm to emulate natural language—and to love. The algorithm set out on an epic quest of self-discovery, making many new friends and learning about the magic of fanfiction.
The Mysterious Pre-reader Do-Well
Bio: His OC is an alicorn, and that's okay. He once reviewed seven fics and wrote the same scathing review for all of them, in which each individual author then thanked him and offered their daughters for retribution. He rides to work every day on a manticore's back... and rides home standing regally on top of Sethisto's head.
He is only known as the Mysterious Pre-Reader Do-Well.
Bio: Polecat is one of the night shift ponies at Equestria Daily, where she can often be found gleefully dissecting fanfics with her razor sharp wit. A somewhat geeky filly hailing from Baltimare, she found her way to EqD after a disastrous stint in the Royal Guard. How she came to work for Equestria Daily after that is a mystery, even to herself, but she's smart enough not to pass up a good thing. These days she reads fanfics, tries not to eat too many cupcakes, and prays to Celestia nopony finds out why she was discharged.
 |
| Uhh... |
The Mechanic
Bio: Mecha Nicbrony is a composite index based on multiple economic variables. He hails from a distant land where great fiery furnaces heat and twist metal to his will, and sparks fly out into the darkened night. Around him metal clangs to the ground, and air drives great machines that drive home bolts and screws as he repairs the clutch you burned out because you were trying a "Tokyo Drift" in your Nissan Stanza, you ninny. "Mech", as those bold enough to speak his name in his presence call him, became interested in literature early in life when he used a copy of The Cider House Rules to defeat all of his enemies in single combat. He has since joined the ranks of the Equestria Daily Pre-Reader Corp in an effort to attain self-enlightenment, balance his karma, and find talented authors he can hunt for sport.
Bio: He has no style, he has no grace, this Pre-Reader, writes to his own pace! HiddenBrony, or as he would rather be called, 'Hyde Edenborough Knee,' has the lovely attribute to always be around, but like his name implies, can quickly and easily disappear without a trace. While doing the various oddjobs of the community, Hyde was out and about while traveling from one firing to the next hiring when a letter dropped from the sky. Not one to excuse fate, Hyde tore into somepony else's personal property and found an invitation to Equestria Daily's Pre-reader team, calling the recipient of the letter a 'pony of advanced skill in both literature and story design.'
Hyde then drawled out some hasty and trite shipfics during the interview process, and then he soon found himself on the payroll of the Equestria Daily pre-readers within minutes. Even more horrid, he's managed to keep his job even though he's been living out of his cubical for the past three months - in which nopony has even noticed.
Bio: Mecha Nicbrony is a composite index based on multiple economic variables. He hails from a distant land where great fiery furnaces heat and twist metal to his will, and sparks fly out into the darkened night. Around him metal clangs to the ground, and air drives great machines that drive home bolts and screws as he repairs the clutch you burned out because you were trying a "Tokyo Drift" in your Nissan Stanza, you ninny. "Mech", as those bold enough to speak his name in his presence call him, became interested in literature early in life when he used a copy of The Cider House Rules to defeat all of his enemies in single combat. He has since joined the ranks of the Equestria Daily Pre-Reader Corp in an effort to attain self-enlightenment, balance his karma, and find talented authors he can hunt for sport.
HiddenBrony
Bio: He has no style, he has no grace, this Pre-Reader, writes to his own pace! HiddenBrony, or as he would rather be called, 'Hyde Edenborough Knee,' has the lovely attribute to always be around, but like his name implies, can quickly and easily disappear without a trace. While doing the various oddjobs of the community, Hyde was out and about while traveling from one firing to the next hiring when a letter dropped from the sky. Not one to excuse fate, Hyde tore into somepony else's personal property and found an invitation to Equestria Daily's Pre-reader team, calling the recipient of the letter a 'pony of advanced skill in both literature and story design.'
Hyde then drawled out some hasty and trite shipfics during the interview process, and then he soon found himself on the payroll of the Equestria Daily pre-readers within minutes. Even more horrid, he's managed to keep his job even though he's been living out of his cubical for the past three months - in which nopony has even noticed.
Pre-reader #13
Bio: The pre-reader known as #13 completes his task anonymously due to certain restrictions placed on him by the Fish & Wildlife Bureau. In his youth, he fell in a with a rogue's gallery of obscure essayists who all advocated a form of discourse that involved yelling breakfast cereal ingredients at aquatic mammals. Condemned for minor heresies involving a street-sweeper, aluminum siding, and the original Broadway cast of Oklahoma!, he laid low for a number of years as he travelled the world in the guise of a used sportswear salesman. #13 began writing fan-fiction during the Monroe administration. He was introduced to the EqD Pre-Reading Staff during a shoot-out in the streets of Istanbul (not Constantinople) concerning the ownership of a time-travelling monkey. He has been lowering the quality of the blog's reviews ever since.
Bio: The pre-reader known as #13 completes his task anonymously due to certain restrictions placed on him by the Fish & Wildlife Bureau. In his youth, he fell in a with a rogue's gallery of obscure essayists who all advocated a form of discourse that involved yelling breakfast cereal ingredients at aquatic mammals. Condemned for minor heresies involving a street-sweeper, aluminum siding, and the original Broadway cast of Oklahoma!, he laid low for a number of years as he travelled the world in the guise of a used sportswear salesman. #13 began writing fan-fiction during the Monroe administration. He was introduced to the EqD Pre-Reading Staff during a shoot-out in the streets of Istanbul (not Constantinople) concerning the ownership of a time-travelling monkey. He has been lowering the quality of the blog's reviews ever since.
Nick Nack
Bio: I try to pay forward the time I use from others' who help me on my work. On top of the reviews I give for personal acquaintances in Ponychan's /fic/ community, I have my advice emporium, a public program to foster one-on-one writing aid.
I preread for Equestria Daily as a crossroads between helping others improve their writing (sometimes, part of improvement is being told you're not good enough,) but also to keep me involved in the show and the happenings of the fandom. After all, I'd scarcely be helpful if I didn't know what happened past when I stopped enjoying the show.
So stop by my emporium for advice and I'll help you. Or submit a story to Equestria Daily, and I might measure you.
Or do neither. Either way, I hope you keep writing.
Pre-reader Who Is Also A Bear
Bio: Grrrr. GRRRAAAAAAAAWR. Hrrrr grrrrrrrr grawr aaaaoooooooohhhh. Aoooh. Aoooooh. OOOOAAAAAWR. Rrrrrrr.
Seattle Lite
Bio: Seattle_Lite is the staff alcoholic. Besides obsessing over what illegal substance he wants ingest next and writing disturbing, horrific fan fiction (Moving On, not Divergence), he also pre-reads for Equestria Daily, belching out some semblance of a comment for the ficboxers to organize into coherent speech before returning to his drunken slumber, usually accompanied by one of the many local working girls. The snoring keeps everyone awake at the office, and eventually, one of the staffers could take it no more, and set Seattle's bed out into the middle of the street, hopefully to be crushed by some van or tour-bus full of Japanese schoolgirls. But alas, this was not meant to pass, and Seattle returned to the office, now sleeping in the ceiling tiles so nobody can remove him without risking being crushed.
Bio: I try to pay forward the time I use from others' who help me on my work. On top of the reviews I give for personal acquaintances in Ponychan's /fic/ community, I have my advice emporium, a public program to foster one-on-one writing aid.
I preread for Equestria Daily as a crossroads between helping others improve their writing (sometimes, part of improvement is being told you're not good enough,) but also to keep me involved in the show and the happenings of the fandom. After all, I'd scarcely be helpful if I didn't know what happened past when I stopped enjoying the show.
So stop by my emporium for advice and I'll help you. Or submit a story to Equestria Daily, and I might measure you.
Or do neither. Either way, I hope you keep writing.
Pre-reader Who Is Also A Bear
Bio: Grrrr. GRRRAAAAAAAAWR. Hrrrr grrrrrrrr grawr aaaaoooooooohhhh. Aoooh. Aoooooh. OOOOAAAAAWR. Rrrrrrr.
Seattle Lite
Bio: Seattle_Lite is the staff alcoholic. Besides obsessing over what illegal substance he wants ingest next and writing disturbing, horrific fan fiction (Moving On, not Divergence), he also pre-reads for Equestria Daily, belching out some semblance of a comment for the ficboxers to organize into coherent speech before returning to his drunken slumber, usually accompanied by one of the many local working girls. The snoring keeps everyone awake at the office, and eventually, one of the staffers could take it no more, and set Seattle's bed out into the middle of the street, hopefully to be crushed by some van or tour-bus full of Japanese schoolgirls. But alas, this was not meant to pass, and Seattle returned to the office, now sleeping in the ceiling tiles so nobody can remove him without risking being crushed.
63.546
Bio: Pre-reader 63.546 was plucked from a greasy alleyway in a desperate attempt to fill a long-standing but obscure statute that the staff employ a village idiot. Luckily, he fit the bill quite well.
However, horror of horrors, beneath the strangely root-beer smelling crust of buffoonery lay... another layer of buffoonery. But below that second layer... and several others... lurked a brutish single-mindedness to make the streets run red with the blood of those who would splice commas.
"But he doesn't know any better!" the blogponies would cry. "We can't lock him away with only a stack of Mary Sue stories and some hardtack. Right? Oh, we can? That's it, then."
Purportedly reformed, he will take a story, nary a glimmer of recognition in his eye, and slowly hand back a list of corrections too long for an intelligent person to have compiled. At least he keeps the grebes at bay. Stupid birds.
Bio: What can be said of him? Oh, yes, there are the usual matters. Height, weight, the faint odor of garlic in his wake... But no, I believe you're looking for something a bit more memorable. Something tangible, concrete, or distinct... well, I'm afraid none of these adjectives really apply. You see, he's a phantom. A shadow. A sense of encroaching dread mixed with a nigh-palpable ennui. He's a myth, a legend, and in some circles his name is whispered in fervent prayer.
You must understand. There are none who can tell you what he looks like. Any who meet him face to face are never heard from again. No, no, they do not die. They simply stop responding. Whether in fear, or shock, or awe, or any number of other possible emotions, those he encounters spend the rest of their days laughing quietly to themselves, a far-off look in their eye. They never eat, nor drink, nor sleep.
The last one took seven weeks to finally fade away. All the while, the quiet chuckle continued, even after the EKG said he was dead.
I've said too much.
Twilight Snarkle
Bio: Snarkle makes marsupials cry. Especially wombats.
He shot both JFK and JR, knows where Hoffa is, invented New Coke, and told Mary Kate and Ashley they could act. He is personally and directly responsible for the French. He throws rabid chinchillas into retirement home socials. He switched the decaf for regular. He wears briefs. He has a sea monkey named Clive.
He instructs small children in the finer points of armpit-music. He tears the tags off mattresses, marks heavy packages C.O.D., and has an extensive collection of Gone With The Wind memorial plates.
He invented AOL's marketing campaign, genetically engineered Bill Gates, and sold off his controlling share of Mac stock when investors were nervous. He wrote Verant's "Vision" and promptly began negotiations with Sony.
One word: Teletubbies.
He wipes his arse with holy texts, corrupts nuns into posing for Playboy, tells Sunday school children about the virtues of Ayn Rand, and can belch 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic'.
He is an interesting shade of rhubarb.
He formats the 37th disk of 38-disk installs. He is the fly in the ointment, the bee in the bonnet, and the ants at the picnic.
He is the reason American beer sucks, and why they cancelled Punky Brewster but let The Facts of Life wallow for several seasons.
He makes colors run in the wash, sweaters shrink in the dryer, and socks disappear at will. He made sure that human males only had enough blood to run one 'important' organ at a time. He invented corduroy slacks for chubby children.
He wrote Britney Spears' songs. He convinced Barry Manilow and Tom Jones to redo old Beatles hits. He scratched your CDs before you bought them.
He knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
And he loves you all.
He shot both JFK and JR, knows where Hoffa is, invented New Coke, and told Mary Kate and Ashley they could act. He is personally and directly responsible for the French. He throws rabid chinchillas into retirement home socials. He switched the decaf for regular. He wears briefs. He has a sea monkey named Clive.
He instructs small children in the finer points of armpit-music. He tears the tags off mattresses, marks heavy packages C.O.D., and has an extensive collection of Gone With The Wind memorial plates.
He invented AOL's marketing campaign, genetically engineered Bill Gates, and sold off his controlling share of Mac stock when investors were nervous. He wrote Verant's "Vision" and promptly began negotiations with Sony.
One word: Teletubbies.
He wipes his arse with holy texts, corrupts nuns into posing for Playboy, tells Sunday school children about the virtues of Ayn Rand, and can belch 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic'.
He is an interesting shade of rhubarb.
He formats the 37th disk of 38-disk installs. He is the fly in the ointment, the bee in the bonnet, and the ants at the picnic.
He is the reason American beer sucks, and why they cancelled Punky Brewster but let The Facts of Life wallow for several seasons.
He makes colors run in the wash, sweaters shrink in the dryer, and socks disappear at will. He made sure that human males only had enough blood to run one 'important' organ at a time. He invented corduroy slacks for chubby children.
He wrote Britney Spears' songs. He convinced Barry Manilow and Tom Jones to redo old Beatles hits. He scratched your CDs before you bought them.
He knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
And he loves you all.
Cold In Gardez
Bio: Cold in Gardez was unanimously voted the pre-reader with the most nonsensical pen name, and he rode that victory to a successful career impersonating Twilight Sparkle at writing conventions. Every moment of his life is spent in fear that someone, somewhere, is about to finish and publish a story on the exact same topic as whatever he is currently writing. He specializes in comedies, magical realism, and emotionally manipulating his readers with shamelessly overused tropes. His hobbies include reading, writing, and making lists of people who have wronged him.
Amacita
Bio: Amacita is the byproduct of certain industrial processes. He was raised in Sandy Hook, New Jersey and lowered in Berwick, Pennsylvania. It was there that he was recruited at an early age to admonish stoplights for their churlish attitudes. He gained an interest in literature when he was challenged to single combat by a second-edition copy of Anne of Green Gables. He was recruited to join the EQD Pre-Reading staff after it was discovered that he was, in fact, not Burl Ives. Amacita divides his time between his studies in the field of advanced monkey lubrication and his charitable advocations of handing out vintage automobile parts to passersby on the street and defending the civil rights of creamed corn.
Bradel
Bio: It took twelve clever stallions and three quarters of a cheese wheel to perfect the algorithm that animates Bradel Bound. Early trials were performed in Japan, where the algorithm was used to teach interpretive dance to impoverished beet farmers. For reasons that remain unclear, a beautiful young nun provided new subroutines that allowed the algorithm to emulate natural language—and to love. The algorithm set out on an epic quest of self-discovery, making many new friends and learning about the magic of fanfiction.
Augiedog
Bio: Born some 350 dog years ago, Augie has been paid Real Actual Money for his writings from places like Tor Books, Asimov's Science Fiction magazine, the Writers of the Future anthology, and the annual Sword and Sorceress story collections. A trained service animal, he's allowed to assist patrons at the local library, to lead the baying at the local Catholic church, and to bark over the airwaves every Sunday afternoon at the local university radio station. He is not, however, allowed up on the sofa. I mean, let's not get carried away here!
The Slorg
Bio: TheSlorg joined the fandom in late 2011 as he searched for old G1 cartoons to show his daughter. A very happy pony born into a dark, cruel world, Slorgy is just as likely to hug you and whisper, "It's okay," as he is to tear your story to pieces and burn the scraps. He'll be smiling regardless of which action he chooses.
Slorgy has written a few stories himself, and it was during a freak writing accident that he was suddenly transformed into a certain female background pony. He doesn't mind, though. It just makes the hugs that much weirder.
Slorgy has written a few stories himself, and it was during a freak writing accident that he was suddenly transformed into a certain female background pony. He doesn't mind, though. It just makes the hugs that much weirder.
The Mysterious Pre-reader Do-Well
Bio: His OC is an alicorn, and that's okay. He once reviewed seven fics and wrote the same scathing review for all of them, in which each individual author then thanked him and offered their daughters for retribution. He rides to work every day on a manticore's back... and rides home standing regally on top of Sethisto's head.
He is only known as the Mysterious Pre-Reader Do-Well.
Burraku Pansa
A baffling, bipedal ape-thing, pre-reader Pansa is known more for how unknown he is than for anything else. When he's not tripping and falling headfirst (only having two feet will do that) into new positions of authority, he does his best to trip and fall into publishing. More often than either, though, you're liable to find him just sort of standing there.
Past his vacant stare and monotonous grunting, pre-reader Pansa has a wealth of experience telling people that they've messed something up, and he's excited to bring that go-getter attitude to this role.
Past his vacant stare and monotonous grunting, pre-reader Pansa has a wealth of experience telling people that they've messed something up, and he's excited to bring that go-getter attitude to this role.
Retired Pre-Readers
Moronsonofboron
Bio: MoronSonOfBoron hasn't been prereading since summer 2011. When he isn't shunning humanity or drawing softcore porn, he can be found in the place good little bronies shouldn't go. If you must seek him out, bring fifteen cents, a nail, and the shell of a great-great-great grandfather snail.
Moonlight Harmony
Bio: A quiet individual that is often a ghost around the staff, he has been a pre-reader since it's inception and maintains an optimistic view when reviewing, helping to give stories a second opinion or a first when submissions fall behind. Friendly and open, he continues to try to do his best in getting to know the others on the team and doing his job as a pre-reader as well. Both a mediator and observer, he does what he can to keep some semblance of peace, something that is increasingly difficult as the team continues to grow. Change is inevitable but it is both welcome and something that gives reason to be cautious moving ahead.
Midnight Shadow: Pre-Reader and Fallout Equestria/Conversion Bureau Specialist
Bio: Long a controversial topic of discussion among New England lobster fishermen, the world at large first became aware of Midnight shadow when he debated Iggy Pop and a bag of Gummi Bears(TM) over the topic of obscene cereal production techniques in the European Union. During his university days he famously used logic to disprove the existence of Pat Sajak, and founded the western world's only competitive whale-insultng team. After a few months touring with Eiffel 65 he deserted the europop scene in order to concentrate on his efforts to develop sentient forms of housing insulation. His love of literature stems from his possession of one of the few remaining copies of Fucard's Minor Plumbing Heresies of 14th Century Constantinople. As one of the most dedicated pre-readers, he's been known to arrive at the homes of other pre-readers and stare at them balefully until the pervading sense of unease makes them review more stories.
Bio: Long a controversial topic of discussion among New England lobster fishermen, the world at large first became aware of Midnight shadow when he debated Iggy Pop and a bag of Gummi Bears(TM) over the topic of obscene cereal production techniques in the European Union. During his university days he famously used logic to disprove the existence of Pat Sajak, and founded the western world's only competitive whale-insultng team. After a few months touring with Eiffel 65 he deserted the europop scene in order to concentrate on his efforts to develop sentient forms of housing insulation. His love of literature stems from his possession of one of the few remaining copies of Fucard's Minor Plumbing Heresies of 14th Century Constantinople. As one of the most dedicated pre-readers, he's been known to arrive at the homes of other pre-readers and stare at them balefully until the pervading sense of unease makes them review more stories.
Krypqe Forgetterson
Foolishly, whilst sending the first chapter of his fanfic in, he accompanied it with the line: "P.S. Also, If you're ever running low on Pre-readers/Proof-readers, I can lend a helping hoof."
And then, that was it. He's been swimming around in fan-fics ever since, doing his best to review what he can, even with his status of #1 procrastinator in all of England.
Bio: Blueshift is the best pony ever. He enjoys writing stories in which ponies are inanimate objects that love each other, or try to kill each other. His main ambition is to move from being 'the jAaM guy' in Transformers fandom to being 'that guy who writes weird lobster porn' in the pony fandom.
Bio: Krypqe is one of the many bronies roped in by /b/ over on 4Chan. He became a brony upon a day in Feburary, a week or so before 'the bannings' happened, or whatever they're supposed to be called. Anyhow, the ponies captured his heart, and he's been a devout member of the pony cult (We're a cult, right?) ever since. Whilst stalling over his final year of A level exams (Yes, in the real world,) he decided to re-kindle the fan-fic writer within him, and type away about said ponies instead of studying like any good student like Twilight Sparkle would. (Krypqe is not a good student. However, He did pass most of his subjects, despite the ponies' best efforts.)
Foolishly, whilst sending the first chapter of his fanfic in, he accompanied it with the line: "P.S. Also, If you're ever running low on Pre-readers/Proof-readers, I can lend a helping hoof."
And then, that was it. He's been swimming around in fan-fics ever since, doing his best to review what he can, even with his status of #1 procrastinator in all of England.
Despite what he may have you think, he loves it, and is really bloody happy at the moment.
Hawksyu
Bio: Hawksyu (Previously: prereader 3.pi) is a common misspelling of Hawkysu. Hawkysu made his writing debut with "Rejection." When the call for prereaders went out, he bravely signed up to battle the tide of fanfics. He wrote a few more stories, ran a podcast, and edited a butt-ton (equal to a regular ton, but measured in butts) of stories. After a couple years of service, he finally retired to "get some of that college stuff." Hawkysu can now be found wondering on campus in a stupor, wishing he'd been paid for all that work.
Blueshift
Hawksyu
Bio: Hawksyu (Previously: prereader 3.pi) is a common misspelling of Hawkysu. Hawkysu made his writing debut with "Rejection." When the call for prereaders went out, he bravely signed up to battle the tide of fanfics. He wrote a few more stories, ran a podcast, and edited a butt-ton (equal to a regular ton, but measured in butts) of stories. After a couple years of service, he finally retired to "get some of that college stuff." Hawkysu can now be found wondering on campus in a stupor, wishing he'd been paid for all that work.
Blueshift
Bio: Blueshift is the best pony ever. He enjoys writing stories in which ponies are inanimate objects that love each other, or try to kill each other. His main ambition is to move from being 'the jAaM guy' in Transformers fandom to being 'that guy who writes weird lobster porn' in the pony fandom.
BronyCray
Bio: "Brony Cray worked with EQD, Bronycon, and 4chan in the early days of the fandom before leaving for greener pastures. He still swears he will one day finish his magnum opus fanfiction, but writing about cartoon ponies is hard when you don't really follow cartoon ponies anymore. In these days of his retirement, he's happy to pass the torch to newer fandom members and still hangs around to bother his old prereader buddies from time to time."
Nathan Shepard
Bio: Author of seven stories featured on EqD, he holds the dubious honor of having written the first fanfic to ever be posted on the blog! Joined the fandom January 7, 2011. Became a pre-reader on June 23, 2011
Daffodil
Bio: Author of seven stories featured on EqD, he holds the dubious honor of having written the first fanfic to ever be posted on the blog! Joined the fandom January 7, 2011. Became a pre-reader on June 23, 2011
Bio: Daffodil was buried at sea seventeen miles southeast of Halifax, Nova Scotia on March 23rd, 1954 following a horrific accident involving seven tons of herring paste, a rhesus monkey, and the original Broadway cast of Oklahoma. His dying soliloquy is considered the greatest post-war work of neo-classical Latin beat poetry. Local legend states that his ghost can often be seen preaching to the local dolphin population about the evils of the metric system.
Ninestempest
Bio: Attention yay! Hi there, I'm Ninestempest. I first discovered ponies in mid-february (some friends linked "The Greatest Moment in Cartoon History" on his facebook. I was entranced), and started frequenting /b/ (I used to frequent /vp/ and /v/, so migrating to /b/ was easy!) again for pony threads. That was fun for a while. Then I asked somepony for fanfiction because I was getting the itch to write fanfiction (I have awful terrible mary-sue deus-ex filled pokemon fanfiction from just two years ago, eugh) around early march, and somepony linked me Equestria Daily. And, uh, nothing important in my life has been accomplished since. The archive was amazing, I liked the news that was coming up, and writing fanfiction for the blog and the fandom was enjoyable. I started taking it upon myself to read... basically every fic that was posted for a few months, attempting to review as much as possible. I noticed some authors wanted help pre-reading, so I volunteered for some of these positions (I helped for lots of Memories of Days Long Past), and eventually saw that Seth wanted more pre-readers. Having just completed my third fanfic for the fandom, I emailed him, and bam, here I am. Been pre-reading since June 23rd. Whoop.
Pineapple Skitter
Since then Pineapple has tried to keep up with the artists and writers training grounds on deviant art in the desperate hope he can write/draw something to be proud of. In the meantime, he plods through the inbound fanfics and does his best to pick out the gold, and offer tips on shining everything else.
Kits
Bio: After being hooked into the fandom with a pony/starcraft 2 crossover, Pineapple stumbled onto Equestria Daily and started submitting terrible fanfic. After a post about the ridiculous queues of content that gets sifted through, he thought about giving something back to the community... so joined the pre-readers!
Since then Pineapple has tried to keep up with the artists and writers training grounds on deviant art in the desperate hope he can write/draw something to be proud of. In the meantime, he plods through the inbound fanfics and does his best to pick out the gold, and offer tips on shining everything else.
Kits
Bio: Kits is a computer engineer whose special talent is radars and rockets. She sort of fell into that field one day and BAM: cutie mark. Which is an apt description of how she came to work for blogpony in the first place. She's currently working off the debt she incurred when a rocket propelled mishap ended up with Equestria Daily missing a wall and an entire days worth of fan fiction going up in smoke. Health and Safety is still trying to decontaminate that section of the building and doesn't know if it'll ever be habitable again. Apparently she's doing a decent job with this pre-reader gig since nopony holds it against her and she's not visiting Midnight on the moon.
Narwhal's Bend
Bio: "I'm the size of a bus and can attract females with my horn. I also love halibut and communicating with a series of loud squeals, trills, and clicks."
Benman
Bio: Benman is a big fan of ponies and a bigger fan of the brony community that sprang from the internet, like Athena from the head of Zeus. He struggles to balance his pony time between reading fanfiction for fun, reading fanfiction to offer ostensibly insightful critiques, and getting his own writing out the door. His favorite stories usually contain melodrama, humor, and/or adorableness. When not thinking about ponies, he... oh, who are we kidding? He's probably thinking about ponies right now.
NTSTS
Bio: NTSTS is a pretentious jerk. He is a lover of big words, meaningful prose, music, and equine anatomy. His favorite horse is Ponka Pone, and he enjoys when horrible things happen to good (and bad) ponies. He does not like your story.
Bio: NTSTS is a pretentious jerk. He is a lover of big words, meaningful prose, music, and equine anatomy. His favorite horse is Ponka Pone, and he enjoys when horrible things happen to good (and bad) ponies. He does not like your story.
Ebon Mane
Bio: Ebon Mane lurks the dark hallways of the Equestria Daily offices at night, slinking from room to room with his big, red 'REJECTED' stamp and waging a constant war against words and the people who write them. His shriveled, black core holds no pity, only heartburn. Every time your fic was rejected unfairly, every time your favorite fic couldn't make the cut, every time a prereader clearly didn't understand your OC's greatness... he did it. He even rejects fics from his favorite authors and his fellow prereaders. He likes to write stories that make people cry and start multi-chapter fics, write enough to get people interested, and then never finish them. He probably makes more money than you, but you can tell that he doesn't work as hard. He never holds the door open. Your hatred only makes him stronger.
Argembarger
Informgation: this person is called argembarger on the internet and one time he decided who to got to live or die in a online horse storeybook world as gateskeper in the front of the queue line. maybe you wrote a story that didnt make it? sorry? if you made it in youre welcome though no prob he got your back. he also wrote a story of spingerse now to be an hbo special feater after the primetime classic bresking bad staring danien day louise.
he doesnt the previous parageraph anymore because of a video game programming lifestyle though alright :(??
Keiro
Bio: The derpiness that is the Keiro knows no bounds. Often found reading, tinkering with things, the derpmeister is one known to flit off into the great unknown and reappear at the strangest of times. When asked what one should do, his response is usually, "LET THE DERPENING COMMENCE!"
Vimbert
Bio: Vimbert wandered into the offices of Equestria Daily one day, carrying a small mound of papers with his reviewing experience and published stories with him and muttering something about "killing the grammatical unbelievers for the coming glorious dawn." Security also had to relieve him of several items, the nature of which could not be printed.
Despite of (or perhaps because of) his eccentricities, he fit right in with the pre-readers, and can frequently be found in or around the break room, looking at stories while drinking from a flask, often ranting to anyone nearby about whatever awful or awesome thing is in whatever he's reading. The most common response of the staff is to mumble something to the equivalent of "Uh huh Vimbert... I'm sure that you don't like that story just because it has one of the ships you like... Oh, yes, I'm sure Twilight having a dream about Celestia holding her while murmuring poetry in her ear is symbolic of all kinds of—LOOK, A MOOSE!" then quickly grabbing a cup of coffee and leaving.
Cassius
Bio: Known for despising anything and everything to exist, ever, Cassius is the staff curmudgeon. His colleagues regard him fondly from his territorial trappings of the upper attics, making certain to avoid letting him know when anything good or amusing happens. In some display of cosmic irony—Princess Luna’s involvement is widely suspected—Cassius managed to produce the hilarious fiction “A Game of Twits.” In between viciously crushing the dreams of aspiring writers and reviewers alike, Cassius spends most of his time lurking the darker corners of the Equestria Daily offices, most likely seeking out new hiding places for the bodies of those who taunt the color scheme of his OC.
Drakmire
Bio: Three out of every seven American homes already have a Drakmire of some variety, usually in a spare drawer or kept in the garage. Drakmire has many principal uses, including (but not limited to): an industrial lubricant, an exfoliant, and a salad garnish. He became interested in reading and literature at an early age, as he was raised by a copy of The Old Man and the Sea. He is noted in many circles for being noted in many circles. His pioneering work studying the philosophical and theological underpinnings of dental floss have earned him seven degrees from prominent universities: four earned, two honorary, and one taken at gunpoint. Drakmire became an Equestria Daily pre-reader when he and his future self both asked to have their parking validated. The actual hiring was the clerical error that resulted. He currently lives in the air ducts of the National Air and Space Museum where he makes models of suburban shopping malls out of household cleaning supplies.
Bio: There was a PRE-READER here. It's gone now.
Dub
Samurai Anon
Bio: I enjoy literature and the benefit it brings to all those that practice it. I have done what I can to ensure it improves in all facets, fan or original. I can only hope my efforts will help you.
Mystic
Bio: Way too young and (probably) grossly unqualified, Mystic was forced to use every single sneaky, devious and underhanded technique he’s picked up at law school to swindle, cheat and con his way into the pre-reader position. He is a lover of clean and emotive prose and a sworn enemy of dull writing and a lack of narrative technique. When he isn't drowning himself in reviews, he occasionally likes to throw some words together and shake his head at the result, writing almost exclusively high fantasy or post-apocalyptic adventure. While he will read and review just about anything, any 'sad' stories that cross his desk better be amazing, for if there is one thing Mystic can't stand, it's poorly executed and overdone emotion.
He likes to laugh way more than is necessary and is a firm believer that practice and determination makes perfect. He also comes from Australia, which is the best country ever.
Mourning Zephyr
Bio: This space intentionally left blank.
Voile
Bio: Pre-reader Voile served a brief three-month stint at the beginning of 2014. Formerly a regular of Ponychan's /fic/, he brought deconstructive analysis to his decisions: if you were rejected, at the very least, you'd have in-depth reasons for it, and some direction on where to go from there. An eventful semester unfortunately put an end to most pony commitments, and so he lurks in plain sight on Fimfiction, still reviewing and bringing exposure to worthwhile fics.
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