Does it strike you as odd that we keep having anti-immigrant Immigration Ministers? Maybe we should look at changing that.
The problem for Turnbull is that he's uniquely ill-placed to frame himself as a working-class hero since he's the least working-class leader the nation has ever had.
If this is indeed the rise of the deplorables, we're gonna need a bigger basket.
We moderate types really, really, really need to do a better job of bringing people with us.
Why watch the end of American democracy alone when you can do so with your old friend Sweet Lady Booze?
Maybe take a second to ask yourself: are you OK?
As Family First's Bob Day and One Nation's Rob Culleton have made clear this week, our minor parties don't appear to be attracting Australia's best and brightest.
Governing is a difficult job - but that's the job the government signed up for. If they can't manage it we might need to readvertise the position.
The Coalition finally show they can agree on something: the need to unnecessarily torment people for no sane reason.
Unless you're moaning in a cartoonishly ghostlike sort of a way, of course, in which case you're entirely on message.
The legal precedent for public f-bomb deployment has been set.
Of all of the political weasel words beloved by our current crop of government representatives, "reform" is possibly the most insidious.
It's OK, Liberal Party. You finally don't need to keep pretending that everything's cool.
Reality bites as we're caught between our parents' generation angrily shaking their fists at the natural passage of time and the digital natives in our offices who know how Snapchat works.
Who speaks for the unfairly fragged? One Nation, apparently.
Paying tax is an act of pure patriotism and dammit, we should celebrate that.
Sorry to ruin your angry pub conversations about "if only we had proper leaders!", but running the country is a second-string prime ministerial priority at best.
It's very easy to look at the current position of Malcolm Turnbull - whose talent for legislative inaction, internal disunity, and massive public relations own goals rivals that of his predecessor - and assume his days are numbered, but there have been two things that have largely ensured his safety as leader.
If you're deliberately trying to provoke people, perhaps it's a tad undignified to then complain about how people subsequently got all provoked.
This royal commission-avoiding banking inquiry might be just the beginning of letting expensive colour and movement replace actual accountability.
Because nothing says "courage" or "responsible adulthood" like being a tourist in an active warzone just for kicks.
The Treasurer reminds poor people that maybe they could send their kids to better quality schools if they'd stop selfishly being so poor all the time.
After all, we'd hate for her to look like a fool - right?
We live in such divisive times, so let's celebrate the things about which we can all agree. Like the awesomeness of giant wombat monsters.
The Prime Minister explains that when it comes to refugees, we have to be cruel to be kind. And also leave out the "kind" bit.
Our adorable goof of an immigration minister sure says some silly things!
Why do something yourself if you can get the opposition to do your job for you?
Modern day Prime Ministers are like mayflies: so delicate, so fragile…
There are some questions that are really easy to answer. "Should taxpayers fund hate speech against themselves?" is one.
Donation reform has never been a more urgent issue, so how will our nation's politicians make it all go away?