No. This is not what I look like naked.

It’s Friday of the second week of classes. I’m already frazzled and worn out — I get home at night, slump into a stupor, and fall asleep by 10. This is not good, especially since I don’t have this excuse: sex makes squid exhausted. All I’m doing is teaching, teaching, teaching. Clearly the squid are…

Sometimes, you just don’t want to know about the lifestyles of the tentacled. The vampire squid lurks in the eternal midnight of the deep sea and a cloak-like web stretches between its eight arms. When threatened, it turns inside out, exposing rows of finger-like projections, called cirri. Vampire squid eat mostly “marine snow”—a mixture of…

The video spares you the worst of it: they also insist on beginning every meal with a round of poetry.

What a squid egg mass looks like if you step back a bit: