Bubblegum Blues

Author: Ocean-Born-Mary

 

Rating: G

Summary:  In an attempt to keep Murdock occupied in the van Face gives him a pack of gum.  One-shot.

Warnings: Pure silliness actually.  Be warned.

A/N:  In lieu of the Superbowl…I wrote this.  Well, I wrote it during playtime, not during Prince…and I watched the commercials…some of them anyway.

Disclaimer:  I don't own anyone…not Face, not Murdock, not BA, not Hannibal…maybe the van…okay fine.  Not the van…but can I have the 'vette?  Please…

 

–Bubblegum Blues–

 

            "Are we there yet?"

            "No."

            "How 'bout now…"

            "Shudup ya fool!"  BA glared daggers in the rearview mirror at Murdock, but quickly turned his eyes on Face when the conman had the audacity to snort. 

            "But I'm booooooooooooooreeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddddd…….."

            Face hurriedly stuck his hand in his pocket pulling out a pack of bubblegum.  "Here, Murdock.  I blew a bubble inside a bubble yesterday, think you can beat it?"  Murdock's long fingers had closed over the pack before Face had even finished and he popped two pieces into his mouth.

            "You betchya, Facey.  I'm gonna blow a bubble in a bubble in a bubble, and I'll call it Norm."

            "Norm?"

            "Norm."  Murdock nodded his head for finality and Face sighed, hesitating to lift his gaze and meet BA's. 

            "Fool bin in mah van twenty minutes.  Now I gotta listen to that crazy snappin' his gum…"

            Hannibal waved his cigar magnanimously and grinned.  "At least he isn't talking."

            "Ahh…"  Face rested his hand inside his jacket.  "He has a point, BA."

            "Shudup, sucka, or you ridin' on the roof."

            "Oh, okay, if you feel that way…"  The conman tapered off, settling back to listen to the rhythmic pops of Murdock's gum.  He closed his eyes to avoid BA's glare and was just on the verge of drifting off…

            *SNAP!*  "Owww…Fashey, ish sthuck."

            A grin split BA's face and he began to giggle, Hannibal turned in his seat and opened his mouth, once, twice, before clamping down on his latest cigar and swiveling towards the front before Murdock could see his smile.  "Aww...Murdock…"  The pilot's face was a vision in pink, the sticky substance conformed to his nose and hanging off the baseball cap.  Face pulled a monogrammed handkerchief out of his Armani suit and passed it over to Murdock, but Murdock only managed to get the cloth stuck to his forehead, Face's initials hanging over his nose.  BA tittered in the front seat and Hannibal rustled open a newspaper as Face and Murdock managed to get the gum all over Face's tie, and then his pants, leaving Face to sigh and bemoan the state of his outfit. 

            Twenty minutes later Face settled back into his seat, Murdock twiddling his thumbs and glancing at the other three team members.  In between the pilot and Face were the remains of Face's personal effects--he'd settled for a pair of black slacks and a button down shirt, unable to reach anything else in his suitcase—tie, pants, handkerchief…BA was in a grand mood, humming quietly to himself as he looked for their next exit and Hannibal was engrossed in his newspaper.  Taking one more quick look at Face and deciding he wouldn't get caught Murdock pulled out the package of gum and slipped two more pieces into his mouth, making sure to stuff the wrappers down the pocket on the back of BA's seat. 

            "Hey, Murdock?"

            The pilot started guiltily, until he realized that Face hadn't opened his eyes.  "Yeah?"

            "Can you move Billy off my suit?"  The corner of the conman's mouth twitched as he heard BA growl and he settled further back into the seat satisfied that Murdock would be annoying someone else.

            "No problemo, muchacho.  C'mon Billy, off of Facey's stuff…oh, no, don't go to the bathroom on the carpet!"  Hannibal's paper rustled convulsively, giving away his laughter and causing BA to redirect his smoldering gaze towards the passenger seat.  Hannibal was at least smart enough to keep the paper in place and avoid eye contact, Murdock on the other hand was dumb enough to tap the larger man on his shoulder.

            "Don't touch me, fool!"

            "Hey, Big-guy," Murdock continued completely unfazed.  "I gotta go…and I'm really not interested in going where Billy just did." 

            BA sighed and pulled over to the shoulder.  Murdock scrambled for Face's side, managing to sit on the conman and elicit an "oof" from him before making it out the door and towards the tree-line.  "'annibal, can we leave 'im?"

            "Aww, now BA…" started Face, but he was cut off by a glare, and decided it was best to keep silent.

            Hannibal folded his paper neatly, reaching for his latest book.  "Now, BA," he said calmly, flipping through trying to find his dog-eared page, "you know you'd miss him."

            "Would not," BA muttered under his breath, but settled for drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for Murdock to reappear.  He did about thirty seconds later, trampling all over Face's shoes and managing to bruise his stomach when he landed on top of him for the second time.

            "I did it Facey, I blew a bubble in a bubble…"

            "You gave that fool more gum?!"

            "Now, BA…"  Face held out his hands defensively when BA turned menacingly in his seat.

            "See, look Face!"  Murdock demanded his attention, blowing the gum hard causing it to fly and hit Face in the eye.  "Whoops."

            "Ahh, Murdock!"

            "Sorry."

            "Step on it, BA," ordered Hannibal, not even looking up from his page.  "Captain, try to avoid beating Face up before we even get this job started."

            "Yes, sir."  Murdock at least managed to look somewhat abashed before he got a big grin and snatched the gum from Face's hand, popping it back in his mouth.

            "Murdock, that's unsanitary."

            "Nuh-uh.  Unsanitary is when I caught you kissing the head nurse on my floor."

            Face's neck turned red as he hissed, "You promised not to tell."

            "Did not.  I promised not to tell Kathy.  Who you had a date with that night."

            Face just closed his eyes and sighed, determined to ignore Murdock and get his nap in before they had to stop for dinner.

            "Take this exit BA, we'll stop and get something to eat."

            "Ohh, Captain Bellybuster's!!  Please! Please! Please!"

            BA turned to snap at Murdock and nearly missed the red light.  He slammed on the breaks causing Murdock to choke on his newly reacquired gum.  Face jumped out of his seat, thumping the pilot on the back and causing the pink wad to go flying right into the back of the sergeant's Mohawk.  "Uh-oh…"

            BA glanced back and took in the perplexed look on the pilot's face.  "Watchya lookin' at?"

            "Nothing, BA," said Face quickly.  "Just trying to figure out how Murdock is gonna get back in time for the big birthday bash for Richter." 

BA's eyes narrowed suspiciously but he was interrupted by Hannibal's call of "Green light!" and pulled the van away from the intersection.

Hannibal turned to see his wide-eyed Captain whispering to Face and gesturing at BA's head.  As BA turned to check for cars to the left a splash of pink caught Hannibal's eye and he sighed as he recognized the spot of color for what it was.   Catching Face's eye he nodded towards the back of the sergeant's head and got a glare in return and a silently mouthed, "What do you want me to do?"  Hannibal shrugged and bit down on his cigar, turning back to the front and leaving them effectively on their own.

"I think we have peanut butter in the back," whispered Face.  "Murdock, no!" he hissed, watching as Murdock lifted thumb and forefinger towards the sticky mass.  BA slammed on the breaks for the second time when a dog ran in front of the van, causing Murdock's hand to land on the back of the sergeant's head in an open-handed slap that splattered the gum all over the back of his head.

"Watchya doin', sucka?"

"Sorry, my hand slipped…"

"My hand's gonna slip…"

"Look, another green light," chimed in Hannibal cheerfully.

Face was staring at the back of BA's head, pale and open-mouthed.  Murdock just bounced in his seat, glancing nervously from the back of BA's head to Hannibal, to Face, and back to BA's head.  BA brought his hand up to scratch his head, and met the sticky substance.  "My hair!  'Annibal!!"

"Is there a problem, Sergeant?" asked Hannibal innocently.  "Oh!" he tried not to laugh, but couldn't help the grin that split his face.  "It's not…it isn't that bad…"  He dissolved into laughter that couldn't even be silenced by a growl and a glare, which was enough of a distraction that Murdock managed to get his hand on the door handle before BA swiveled around.

"Where you goin', sucka!?"

"Now, BA…" started Face.

"And you gave him the gum!"  Face backpedaled as the irate Sergeant turned on him, and Murdock breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're the one that wanted him to shut up!" snapped Face defensively, pressing himself against the door as far away from the bejeweled hands as possible.  BA lunged and Face pulled the door open, falling backwards out of the door and landing hard on the pavement.  The car behind them beeped, annoyed, but they stopped as they saw a lanky man in a leather jacket and baseball cap dive out of the door head first to land on Face, before scrambling up, pulling the conman with him. 

"Run, Facey, run!"  The driver's door opened and slammed shut, revealing an irate BA who took off after them.  Face rounded the corner only to smack right into Decker, who grasped him in surprise and then tightened his grip in recognition. 

Murdock had been about to run around the corner, but heard the conman's surprised cry of, "Decker!" and halted just short of it, holding up a hand to stop the barreling BA. 

"I'm gonna…"

"Hush up BA, Decker's got Face."

"Peck!"

"Decker."

"Got something to say, Peck?"

"Yeah…" Face grinned as he recognized the quiet whistle around the corner telling him the guys were about to bust him out.  "You got any gum?"