Alana Massey


Author of ALL THE LIVES I WANT, writing at , 😎. Send champagne, cats, and money.

New York
Joined November 2011


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  1. Pinned Tweet
    23 Aug 2016
    Replying to

    My book has a bee-yoo-tee-ful sparkling cover! And you can pre-order it too:

  2. Retweeted

    what's that? oh nothing, just reading editorials in my hometown's newspaper

  3. 19h

    A white woman in sex work activism invented a black immigrant sex worker persona to defraud community, from

  4. 20h

    I love how unabashedly horny Susan Sarandon's Instagram is

  5. Retweeted
    May 20

    A tiny warthog cools off in a puddle

  6. Retweeted
    May 21
  7. 21h
    Replying to

    Imagine if a woman sent an email around asking people to unfollow all associates of a pub with under 1K followers cause of a negative review

  8. 21h
  9. 21h
  10. 22h

    My mom's dog has the exact same, "I'm not mad you're home late, I was just WORRIED" face as her.

  11. Retweeted

    "We want women’s genius and beauty to be accidental, part of her very essence rather than something she worked hard for."

  12. Retweeted
    May 20

    the cat has possessed this man and is speaking thru him

  13. Retweeted
  14. 23h
  15. Retweeted

    A sinkhole just opened in front of President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate THE ORB DEMANDS SACRIFICE

  16. Retweeted
    Replying to

    We will never have a "Celine Dion is over" party

  17. Retweeted

    Whenever I think about how much I loathe news/journal paywalls and the "wisdom" that they are a necessity, I reflect on this Stengers quote:

  18. 23h
    Replying to

    Judge him if you must, but remember that if God made you this handsome, you probably have no choice but to be an insufferable dick.

  19. 23h

    Happy birthday to my devious and attractive Gemini brethren, Mr. Steven Patrick Morrissey, who does what he wants.

  20. Retweeted
    30 Jan 2016
    Replying to

    In addition to telling our cats he loves them I regularly hear my husband telling them "Morrissey loves you".

  21. Retweeted
    Feb 3

    help so my cousin got upset after reading a fan fiction where harry styles dies and now she's been peeling potatoes for 3 hours

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