The day is here for Mink Zuckerzuck to go speeching for the Harvard! Every year we beg him to come PLEASE but only now will he come here to this place, here now, he is here to prove that he is stronger president material than Joel BidenBoy. Nice Try Joe Man, but you can’t Zonk the Zucker-Duck. This guy can Zoink anything.
The only thing worse than these stolen websoots is the QUAD. Does that make sense? I dropped out reeeeally early.
ALSO BREAKING: local plates
Peener Weiner accidentally looks like algorithm to rank hot girls.
Dean of the College Rakesh Khurana's favorability rating has halved since he assumed the deanship two years ago, according to a survey conducted by The Crimson.
OP-ED: How Come Everyone Talks About How I Stole Facebook But Nobody Talks About How I Murdered Eduardo Saverin
And fed his body to my children