The day I confronted my troll

Has the meaning of troll been changed for good now, language being fluid? A bit like the spelling of lose.

Not sure why I care, but it does annoy me.

Good article. Thanks Leo and I am glad you resolved this foul abuse.

I responded: "I'm not criminalising a 17-year-old kid and ruining his future.

Interesting piece, but he criminalised himself by his actions. I hope his remorse was genuine and your act of mercy doesn't backfire.

we call our pet pug a troll. Though its not because she spend hours on the internet making misery for others, more that she sits under the table while we eat, watching us for any food which may drop on the floor.

Blimey. I think the moral of the story is that these people who post hateful messages online (not trolls!) are generally sad little tossers. (Look at the guy who harassed Louise Mensch, for example.) Easy to imagine that they belong to some big powerful fascist organisation who are out to get you, but nope. Just pathetic losers.

Troll can be used to mean anything

Not really - trolling is generally understood to stating deliberately controversial views in an attempt to provoke an angry backlash.

As there was no way of measuring or witnessing the backlash here, it would be more accurate to calling it griefing

Fascinating article, thank you. I wonder how many of the trolls are teenagers, like this kid?

His comment "just a game thing" is the bit that gets me. Is it just the normal lack of empathy you get with a lot of teenagers or something more sinister? I think most adults can remember doing things as children or teenagers that were designed to wind people up, that may have been in poor taste and gone too far... but not that far.

Your solution of focring him to get counselling seems sensible and wise, hopefully he will appreciate how generous you've been in not going to the police as he clearly is guilty of racially aggravated harassment. I hope he sorts his head out, but I don't know if I could have been as forgiving!

You are a good man, Leo.

Personally, I would have decked the little shit.

Intriguing and disturbing article.

Well done for giving the boy a chance - not sure I would have though. It is scary how as one of my friends call them "keyboard warriors" lose all sense of human civility on the internet. There is a sad tendency for blogs and co to bring out the worse in humans.

And all the best for the future.

Brilliant article. I applaud you, Leo, on the exemplary manner in which you dealt with finding out that the abuse was from the son of a family friend. There are many lessons in your article - the need to not get obsessed with internet exchanges, the need to watch over our children as parents and ensure that they can properly use the internet. But I think that the most powerful lesson is on the risks that internet anonymity brings. We must never forget that behind those avatars there are real people with real families that can get hurt.

And that is why anyone who can post under a pseudonym should.

Very interesting story. It must have posed a real dilemma to the trolls parents. How could their lovely little boy turn to be such an evil little shit online?

A rare personal article in the Guardian without the usual posturing and bile. You sound a remarkable and perceptive man and extremely forgiving to your tormentor. I hope he does show he has deserved your forgiveness.

I admire your magnanimity Mr Traynor.

Unfortunately the anonymity of the internet encourages cowardly behaviour. I never post comments, send messages via email, or indeed say things on the phone that I wouldn't say face to face. Unfortunately there are those who don't the courage to do the same.

This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn't abide by our community standards. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs.

An appalling thing to have to go through. And, Leo, you are a much better and more forgiving man than I could ever be,

I wonder if to join comment is free people had to use their real name, a picture of themselves and make some of their personal details available to other users. How many regular users would still use it?

The abuse you received sounds genuinely vile and frightening. It was real life stuff. What i find hard to understand is why, after all that, you'd want to then write an article about it all, quoting yourself in the process. If i was in your position the last thing i would want to do was to share it all with a load of strangers, especially as you must now be acutely aware of how strange some strangers are.

I got called Troll on the Telegraph ..for saying workfare was slave labour.

That's a misuse of the term - same as people with right-wing views being called trolls on here.

This isn't the kind of behaviour I associate with a "troll"; I've "trolled" religious groups and the like on Facebook, and it only ever involved winding them up a bit and being deliberately obtuse.

The kind of abuse you describe here is just that; abuse, harrassment, and is illegal in I'd suspect more than one way. I think it goes far beyond what I understand by "trolling".

I have utter sympathy with what you've been through, and the way you dealt with it sounds utterly commendable.

This whole "disconnect" that the anonymity of the internet can produce, more often in gamers, it would appear, is on the increase as a phenomenon. Only when the Thought Police turn up at your door do you realise the enormity of what you've done (I'm assuming, here). But logically (even excluding those who have difficulty with role-play), the more people are affected by nameless, faceless criminals (hacked accounts, credit card theft, identity theft...), the more will turn to the internet as a means of revenge or retribution. The Twitter Police specialised unit can't be far away.

Good story. I suspect when he met you face to face it halted whatever was going on in his head. I think deliberately annoying people over the internet is method of getting attention when you feel lonely. I think I have been guilty of doing it with this motive from time to time (never insultingly, using racist language or without constructive reasoning though)

About the buzzword "troll" and how problematic defining it is: I think when you use racist or threatening language you seize to be a troll and just become a racist or spiteful person.

For me, trolling refers to: the action of pointlessly and antagonistically trying to provoke an angry response from somebody (with opinions that you may or may not genuinely hold) because you are bored.

Troll is a far too trivial word to describe what you experienced.

Did you sue for compensation for the shock of being abused ? : ) C'mon - it IS the Torygraph...they are barking in there.

Excellent article and credit for not trashing a young man's life

How could their lovely little boy turn to be such an evil little shit online?

Human nature is irredemably fallen. This means that the only thing that stops most of us being bad for much of the time is the realisation that we will get caught rather than any inherent goodness. This explains why some people, such as this boy, can seem to be perfectly pleasant and well-developed individuals in person, but will turn into vicious and abusive monsters on the internet, where their anonymity - and hence their lack of accountability for their actions - is protected.

At the risk of being accused of trolling, this story doesn't seem plausible to me. It smacks of attention seeking. Why does everyone nowadays feel the need to share the details of there lives with all and sundry?

If it is a true account of what happened then my sympathy is with you. That kid was awful but TBH I think you should have alerted such behaviour to the authorities because if he is doing it to you he will go on to do it to others.

This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn't abide by our community standards. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs.

I'm sorry but having gone through all that I don't know how you managed such magnanimity- I would have wanted to throttle the little sod.

I know plenty of people who use twitter and Facebook and who have been upset by nasty remarks being posted about them or engaged in ugly arguments for the world to see.

I don't have any of this shit happening to me. I don't use twitter. I don't use Facebook.

I also seem to able to cope with life without using them.

Do you see what I'm getting at?

I got on to the authorities again but, polite and sympathetic as they were, there didn't seem much that could be done.

I've never really understood why this can't be addressed. Stalked women get told the same thing as well.

Why can't there be an offence of "making threats to harm a person"?

I think when people spend a lot of time on the internet they can start losing touch with social 'norms' and can, without realizing, start seeing the world as being part of the internet rather than the internet as a part of the world. It would be very interesting to see some psychological work on the subject because it's basically unprecedented in history, never before could people become so engrossed in a virtual reality. The fact that it started online but then gradually merged into real life is telling - I doubt the kid would have sent things in the post or left things outside your house before he became so engrossed in his online campaign. It's quite scary.

i I hope his remorse was genuine and your act of mercy doesn't backfire.

That's not really the point.

BTW, very good article Leo, and all the best.

The atmosphere there has changed and there have been negative stories in the media about trolling, etc, for months now. The brand has been damaged and Twitter needs to act fairly swiftly to repair it.

The episode sounds horrendous. Calling it a 'Twitter problem' seems a little misguided though - the equivalent of this technology in real life would be walking around in public with placards above your head telling people what your view of the world is, and how to get in touch with you. Expecting to get no abusive responses in return would seem to be a little optimistic.

Serious threats to life and limb have been around much longer than the internet. Now they are written down it makes it that much easier to track and prosecute people and that is a good thing. My parents had an untraceable bomb threat called into their house by animal rights activists. Looking back the old school of intimidation seems far more sinister.

Leo - you did the right thing forgiving this kid. You should be proud of yourself.

I wonder if to join comment is free people had to use their real name, a picture of themselves and make some of their personal details available to other users. How many regular users would still use it?

I would, Ernekid! I put my real name on my profile as well as quite alot of personal details. On some of the other sites on which I comment I put my photo as well (but not CiF - would all get too jealous of my good looks ... :-) I do this deliberately as a message of accountability to myself that I am always posting to real people that exist beyond the virtual world.

ATL and Guardian needs to learn what a trolling is.

My trolls won't come up from under the bridge. But you can smell 'em brewing up new mischief malt liquor. Fair go, my ass.

I wonder if to join comment is free people had to use their real name, a picture of themselves and make some of their personal details available to other users. How many regular users would still use it?

A good point; I certainly wouldn't. Unfortunately nowadays, expression of opinions can lead to consequences with your employer, and that's before we mention the nutters who might simply take offence at something and come after you. I've had death threats on Facebook before where I use my real name, and had an American woman stalk me convinced we were in some sort of relationship - she got my home phone number.

Some douchebag on LinkedIn made a complaint about me to my employer despite our 'disagreement' having nothing to do with careers, but his attitude. He went below the belt to try and get me sacked for embarrassing him in a closed, private group. Fortunately my boss took my side, but it would have been very easy to ignore the facts and sack me anyway.

I think anonymity obviously has its drawbacks (what doesn't?), but if people are to say what they really think without fear of unjust consequences, it might be above all necessary. It's how to deal with those who abuse it that's difficult.

I'm back on Twitter.

I can imagine the cries of "I knew he wouldn't last!" from the Twitterati.

But give me a few minutes of your time and I'll tell you why I'm back and the real truth about exactly why I left in the first place

I can't help thinking that, for a grown-up, you place too much importance on social networking.

Horrifying story. Christ, I'd have left the country and not looked back if that had happened to me. Well done on your incredibly generous response to the little weirdo.

A rare personal article in the Guardian without the usual posturing and bile. You sound a remarkable and perceptive man and extremely forgiving to your tormentor. I hope he does show he has deserved your forgiveness.

Good comment. Well said.

wow, that was a really moving article. props for being so forgiving. i'm surprised you could resist the temptation to smack him upside the head!

just goes to show. i'm sure a lot of online abusers are cowards who just want to feel 'big' and important and maybe they are sadists in some way too. but that doesn't help when you are a victim, because you don't know how serious they are about their threats and if they really would come to your house and do something.

That was an amazing thing to do. After the abuse you suffered no-one would have blamed you if you'd thrown the book at him.

You're a good man.

I hope I remember this. Talk about a life lesson.

Not really - trolling is generally understood to stating deliberately controversial views in an attempt to provoke an angry backlash.
......

I got called Troll on the Telegraph ..for saying workfare was slave labour.

Exactly. In the context of the Telegraph, such a comment (or observation as we would say on the Guardian) was trolling. One person's observation is another person's "red rag to a bull"?

Serious threats to life and limb have been around much longer than the internet. Now they are written down it makes it that much easier to track and prosecute people and that is a good thing. My parents had an untraceable bomb threat called into their house by animal rights activists. Looking back the old school of intimidation seems far more sinister.

Same thing happened to my mate's family; they moved house shortly afterwards. Fucking ALF leaving parcels on the doorstep because the father delivered piping to a place where animal testing was used. You're right; that must be terrifying.

You sound like the kind of person who think women invite rape by wearing short skirts or people who dare to carry money or wear watches are just asking to be mugged. NOTHING justifies the kind of abuse this man has suffered so let's not pretend he's in some way to blame for someone else's actions.

Oh and the internet IS here and it's here to stay so let's all just play nicely shall we?

"I'm sorry," he said, and looked like he meant it. "Thanks for giving me a break dude."

In an ideal world you would then have posted his name and address and all your evidence on the internet for all to see. You would have been telling the truth about him in much the same way as he was lying about you. To let the little bugger off without some form of punishment was much too easy on him.

Personally, I would have decked the little shit.

Me too - I'd have probably had a 'whoops!' moment with the big pot of scalding tea....

You are a very tolerant and caring man but his parents should really take him to a psychiatrist he sounds as though he could be potentially a very dangerous individual,sometimes we have no option but to involve the relevant authorities as his next victim might not be as fortunate as you.

What a strange story. I was on twitter for a while but resigned, not for a reason like this but simply because it is a huge waste of time.

Social media is something quite new in the world, unlike say email, which is like a speedy version of the post. And I'm not at all sure it's a good thing.