Video Review of Jess Franco's Bloody Moon DVD

Hey! This is our new video review feature and we decided to kick it off with a review of Jess Franco's Bloody Moon which was just released on DVD from Severin. It's a great DVD as you'll see. Now just bring on THE SINFUL DWARF!




You can get Bloody Moon and other great titles at HKFlix. You also help me get Resident Evil 5. :)
http://www.hkflix.com/xq/asp/filmID.546599/aid.085597/qx/details.htm

Video Review of Jess Franco's Bloody Moon DVD

305 -- DVD review by porfle

If you haven't already seen the smash hit YouTube video "305", which has gotten several million hits since its July 2007 debut, then you may want to do so now--I'll wait.

Okay, now that you're back, you may be interested to know that this clever take-off on the recent Spartans vs. Persians epic 300 has been expanded into a feature-length mockumentary, also titled 305 (2008). The plus-five guys are the same group of cowardly rejects from the earlier short, ordered by King Leonidas to guard a goat path but ultimately responsible for the defeat of the Spartan army. They're forced into hiding, but two years later, as Persia prepares to launch a final assault on Sparta, our five non-heroes--Claudius, Darryl, Shazaam, Demetrius the Blind, and Testiclees--must band together once again in order to thwart the enemy and save the day.

It sounds stupid, and it is. It's also pretty funny--not riotous, but about as funny as good sketch comedy like SCTV or Mr. Show, with a wonderfully deadpan absurdity that carries almost every scene. With elements of THE OFFICE and MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL, the satirical targets include LORD OF THE RINGS, THE MATRIX, and THE ODYSSEY, among other things.

When Claudius is kidnapped from his job at a family restaurant called Spartie's and imprisoned by the Persians, the rest of the group set off on a perilous journey to rescue him, encountering such characters as an angry giant and a huckster who sells them worthless crap like "invisibility powder" in exchange for their food and water. Meanwhile, Claudius cheerfully endures endless whippings ("it's like hundreds of tiny kisses") while organizing several of the guards into an enthusiastic book club.

The five main characters are wonderfully fleshed out for the feature. Tim Larson is great as the portly Claudius, with his ever-present coffee cup that never seems to run out. Co-scripter Brandon Tyra plays the comparatively competent Testiclees like a dazed beach bum. Sunny Peabody is Demetrius the Blind, now tickling the ivories in a tavern along with his faithful dog Zeus. Ed Portillo plays the ethnically-ambiguous Shazaam, and Heaven Peabody rounds out the group as Testiclees' love interest, Aurillia. On the Persian side, Les Jennings is the comically nasty commander (his pep talk to the troops includes the reminder "Charge in the same direction as everyone else"), and Nate Hopkins returns as the scary guy with the carrot sticking out of his forehead.

My favorite, though, is the supremely conceited yet grossly stupid and cowardly Darryl (David Schultz). Darryl seems to enjoy the Persians' dreaded Purple Nurple torture a little too much, and when the mystical Oracle that they seek for guidance turns out to be a wildly flamboyant "he-she" who prances like Britney Spears, it's love at first sight for the clueless Darryl. Visually, he's like a pudgy office drone at a medieval-themed costume party.

The audio and (1:85:1) video are much like that of the YouTube short, only bigger. Almost the whole movie uses green screen with lush, well-rendered backdrops, giving it an agreeably cartoonish quality. In addition to two (directors and cast) commentaries, bonuses include the original short, behind-the-scenes featurettes, deleted material (including an alternate ending and an electrocution scene that should've been in the final cut), and bloopers.

With a very small budget and limited resources, directors Daniel and David Holecheck have managed to put together a pretty nifty comedy here. There's even a fairly good battle scene at the end, and an overall sense of imaginative fun throughout. 305 may not be non-stop uproarious hilarity, but it's so good-natured and loaded with goofy gags, slapstick, and funny dialogue (much of it improvised) that I couldn't help but enjoy it. Not bad for an expanded YouTube video.

305 -- DVD review by porfle

"305" -- The First Feature To Be Made From a Viral Video Comes To DVD

From Allumination Filmworks: What began as an on-line viral phenomenon; a low-budget, five-minute parody that hit the Web around the same time "300" hit theaters and was simultaneously featured on YouTube, MySpace TV and Yahoo! Video "305" was the #1 most-viewed comedy and the #2 most-viewed video on YouTube during July 2007, and became one of the 400 most-viewed internet videos of all time (as tracked by VidMeter.com).

The original short attracted such a rabid following that the writer/director team of Daniel and David Holechek were quickly approached to expand the idea. One month was all it took to shoot the entire feature-length film using the same onscreen talent as the short, making 305 the first viral video to transition to a narrative feature film.

305 is a mockumentary detailing the misadventures of five not-so-brave members of the Spartan army charged with guarding a seemingly ordinary goat path. But when their actions lead to the death of King Leonidas and his army of 300 men, the five are forced into hiding. But with Sparta cowering under the threat of Persian invasion, Claudius, Darryl, Demetrius the Blind, Shazaam and Testicleese must band together once more and become true warriors. Do they have what it takes to save the day? Smartly funny and based entirely on historical fact (allegedly), 305 proves that even the biggest losers get lucky sometimes.

The comically irresistible mockumentary feature film, "305" arrives on DVD on July 8 from Allumination FilmWorks. The DVD features extras including bonus scenes, commentary track, three featurettes, a blooper reel and the original 305 short film. Suggested retail price is $29.98.

"305" -- The First Feature To Be Made From a Viral Video Comes To DVD

Andy Lau Fights Security to Protect A Fan!

Lest people say its not a big deal, that stage is a decent height and he easily could have messed his leg up. Andy Lau is a pretty good human being and that was a cool thing he did for a fan. He's also a great actor too :). He handled the situation in a very respectful way afterwards (saying the fan was wrong, but not being mean, and not ragging on security, and still at the same time ensuring fans don't follow the attempt).



http://asianfanatics.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=493215

The incident happened at Andy Lau's Mainland China concert tour, its last stop at Chengdu.
Since the start of the concert the fans were already very enthusiastic, until the encore segment where it's was going to be the last song and dance, everybody stood up and rushed towards the stage.

One particular male fan got through and managed to get onto the front of the stage to shake hand and give flowers to Andy
When the security and ploice noticed that somebody managed to get onto the stage and grab hold onto Andy, they immediately went to get him. Clip from Youtube shows security not only tried to drag him away, they punched him and kicked him.

Andy, seeing this from the stage, asked them not to take force against the fan. On the Youtube, you can hear that Andy stopped singing and says "Stop!" When he saw that they did not respond, he jumped off the stage to protect that fan. It resulted a chaos as some of the crew member, security guards and Andy's personal security guards got into a fight. In result, Andy could not carry on singing as he personally had to bring that fan to the back to prevent the security guards from getting to him.

The video has been circulated and has tons of hits. It is believed that Andy is the only singer in the world that care-less of his safety to jump off the stage to rescue the fan.
After returning to the stage, the audience continued their screaming as they looked Andy as a hero, they kept screaming "Wah Zai I Love You", upon seeing Andy jumping off from such a high stage and safely returning to the stage, furthermore could continue to sing and dance, it shows that he didn't injured himself.

Later, Andy said on stage: "I know these securities and policemen are here for the good of all of you, I apologize to let you all worry, I'm okay! I'm very good! There is rules for concert, no matter how enthusiastic the fans are, I hope that you remember the importance of safety, there's no need to rushed forward and do anything against the rules, if all of you love me and support me,I knew all of that, if you want to get close to me, it is not difficult, join Andy World Club,we can always meet in my fan club gathering! Please don't use any un-safe methods to make me worry and also put the securities and policemen in a difficult position."

After the concert ended, Andy initially thought he could celebrate the success of his last stop, however such matter spolit his feelings. He said: "When I see the fan being pushed and hit by the policemen, I was shell shocked, I immediately asked them to stop but nobody listen to me, thus I jumped off the stage.

The fan was wrong as he should not break through the line and come onto the stage, but he did this to show he supported me. I was worried what the securities would do to punish him, so I jumped off the stage and told them to let this matter go, just forgive him once."
Andy said that he knew that many fans will be worried upon seeing him jumped off the stage, it also scared several crew members, thinking back it's quite risky on his part, luckily he's not injured.

He quipped: "When the concert just started, I just promise the fans that I'll take good care of myself as I would not do any dangerous stunts, unexpectedly until the encore I performed a dangerous stunt, it must have scared the 60,000 audience, I apologize for that!"

Andy Lau Fights Security to Protect A Fan!

I must find this Hong Kong action film!

It uses the theme from Delta Force!

I must find this Hong Kong action film!

Morgoth Takes on Undefatable aka The Eyeball Clip on Youtube

Yes, this is THE Undefeatable, one of the best cheesy movies ever made. Godfrey Ho's modern day masterpiece. The acting is beyond horrible, and the way the actors deliver their lines is bound to cause laughter.

The movie starts off with a woman talking to her psychiatrist about her abusive husband Paul. She says Paul used to be a mechanic but has changed since he became a fighter. He fights in death matches and thinks he is undefeatable. Paul is nicknamed Stingray. He gets home one day and sexually abuses his wife. She finally leaves him and Stingray goes crazy. He starts kidnapping any woman that has a flower dress and red hair like his wife. The cops start to take notice after finding the women dead. There are a lot of clues, but these cops are not the brightest people. Ray Niam, an unknown actor to me, plays the cop that is investigating the murders.

Cynthia Rothrock is a gang member who fights on the street to earn money. She has a job as a waitress but needs the extra money to pay for her sister's college tuition. Her sister just so happens to have red hair and wears a flower dress. She is kidnapped and killed, and Rothrock teams up with the cop to take down the killer.

The fight scenes are not too bad. Stingray is hilarious. He is very muscular, kind of looks like Michael Douglas, and has a crazy mullet fro thing going on. His acting is so bad that he comes across as being mentally handicapped. He is not believable at being scary, but he is still a lot of fun to watch. His movements are very akward and his facial expressions had me bursting out with laughter.

The first fight scene introduces Ray Niam as the cop. This guy is a horrible actor. He never shows any emotion, and his acting performance is actually funny because you can tell he is trying his hardest, yet he does everything wrong. So the first fight has him taking out 2 goons who are robbing a convenience store. This fight is pretty good, but only about 10 seconds long. Ray Niam does some good handwork and takes out both guys quickly.

Next fight has Rothrock fighting a rival gang member. The fight itself is decent, but what is going on around the fight is much more interesting. The audience starts clapping and stomping a concrete wall in a rhythmic beat. Godfrey Ho really knows how to set the mood.
Next fight has Stingray killing some guy and kidnapping his girlfriend. Nothing special about this fight. It's too short, and the actor who plays Stingray doesn't seem to know what choreography is. He does his own thing. There is an nice stunt at the end of the fight, but that's it.

Then Rothrock has another planned fight. She goes up against a big guy who wears football pads and charges at her like a football player. Rothrock kicks him a few times and beats him easily. Somehow Stingray spots the football player and his girlfriend going home from the fight with Rothrock. The girl is wearing a flower dress and has red hair so Stingray goes over to their trailer and beats the guy up. But he doesn't take the girl. I think Godfrey Ho just forgot. This fight is over quickly. The football player is so bad he actually makes Stingray look good with a few of his punches.

In the next scene Stingray sees Rothrock's sister with her red hair and flower dress. This is one of the better fights of the movie, but too short only lasting about 30 seconds. Stingray looks tough and there is a good stunt.

Now that her sister is dead, Rothrock tries to find the killer by challenging gangs to fights. She goes up against an eagle claw performer. I like the idea of having the eagle claw guy wear actual claws, but the choreography is only average.

The next guy Rothrock challenges is not bad. They have a good fight but it is cut too short and turns into a bad group fight. There are a couple good stunts but the choreography is slow.
The final fight is Stingray vs the cop. This is as bad as fight choreography gets. These guys do not work well together. There is no chemistry and none of their attacks look believable. The cop is always putting his hand up to block kicks and punches before Stingray even attacks. Midway through they decide to take off their shirts for some reason. I guess Godfrey Ho was hoping the audience would look at the guys chests instead of the terrible fight that is going on. So the fight is bad, but very funny.

If you are a hardcore fighting fan, then this will disappoint. If you like really cheesy movies then you will love this. The final scene may just be the best scene in the movie. Rothrock decides to enroll all of her gang member friends into college. So is Rothrock going to college? She says no, but the cop already enrolled her. That sneaky dog.
2/5

Morgoth Takes on Undefatable aka The Eyeball Clip on Youtube

Enjoy the original trailer for Shaolin Rescuers aka Avenging Warriors of Shaolin

Enjoy the original trailer for Shaolin Rescuers aka Avenging Warriors of Shaolin

FLK Rare of the Day: The Challanger

Some amazing rares from the Godfathers of the rare kung fu movie: Flashlegs Rare!

Starring David Chiang, Tsui Tsui Keung, Phillip Kao Fei

FLK Rare of the Day: The Challanger

Things to Come: Appearing Soon on DVD!

A fun little preview of some upcoming DVDs. More to follow. Let this help make you purchasing decisions even easier!



The Giant Claw as part Sony's upcoming Icons of Horror Sam Katzman boxset that is coming out on October 16th.





The Deadly Mantis and The Land Unknown are part of The Classic Sci-Fi Ultimate Collection Volume 2 arriving on September 11th exclusively at Best Buy.

Things to Come: Appearing Soon on DVD!

Alien vs Predator Requim actually looks good!

Hey, I'm surprised as anyone else. It has enough violence to put it up therw with Commando!

Alien vs Predator Requim actually looks good!

Rare of the Day: "The Best and The Worst"

Check out this awesome fight from the super rare film: The Best and The Worst. Some great stick fighting at hand.

Rare of the Day: "The Best and The Worst"

The Rare of the Day: Iron Neck Li (1981) Widescreen Trailer

A new feature at HKCFN will be the youtube "Rare of the Day" featuring a rare trailer, clip, or fight from some of the classics and not-so classics of kung fu from my own personal archives of DVDs and trailer comps. Starting off today will be Iron Neck Li a film that is not available in a widescreen form. However, today we present this rare widescreen trailer for Iron Neck Li.

The Rare of the Day: Iron Neck Li (1981) Widescreen Trailer

Why I loved the 80s (Action Movie Youtube Edition)!

Till I discovered Hong Kong action movies, these flicks were the kings (granted I didn't see most of them till the 1990s as I was born in 1983)! Hell, they still rock.

The Octagon Directed byEric Karson (1980)



Lone Wolf McQuade Directed by Steve Carver (1983)



Commando Directed by Mark Lester (1985)



Invasion USA Directed by Joesph Zito (1985)




Rambo: First Blood Part II Directed by George P. Cosmatos (1985)



Delta Force Directed by ....I'm not taking the time to look up his entire name, more importantly it stars Chuck Norris (1986)



Predator Directed by John McTiernan (1987)



Die Hard Directed by John McTiernan (1988)



Bloodsport Directed by Newt Arnold (1988)



The Punisher Directed by Mark Goldblatt (1989) (Sorry, sound is out of sync)

Why I loved the 80s (Action Movie Youtube Edition)!

The Horrors of Semi-Homemade coming soon!

I will be writing in the next week or so about one of my favorite guilty pleasures: Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. Her show on Food Network features some of the most abysmal recipes that stem from her "cooking philosophy": 70% store-bought ingredients and 30% fresh and "creative touches."

The woman is a blonde, big-breasted imbecile who has her shirts match her decor, particularly her "tablescapes," and has really crappy voiceovers in every episode of her show. In addition to her stupidity, she also acts like a whore, deepthroating whatever crappy food she assembles as seen below (I won't use the term cook for the likes of her), and she ends each episode with Cocktail Time, during which she creates and downs the alcoholic beverage du jour. In fact, in a few episodes she has given children, such as her niece and nephew, drinks called "kiddie cocktails!" People have said she should be on Comedy Central, since her program is so hilarifying (hilarious and horrifying).




If you have never heard of this ludicrous show, please check out Television Without Pity's forum. It is worth reading the critical reviews of her haters, known as "shrikes," who function as snarkers and point out the absurdities of every aspect of her show. For example, she had a Kwanzaa Cake that was decorated with CORN NUTS. And who could forget the Star-of-David Cake with an eight-pointed pearl star on top? This is but the tip of the iceberg for the insanity that is Sandra Lee.

I have posted below a YouTube clip that demonstrates a hint of Sandra's lunacy. Check out the way she pronunces "aquarium" and how she makes two cocktails, "one for now, and one for later." Sheesh, what a lush!



I look forward to sharing all of the ridiculousness of Sandra Lee by reviewing her cookbook for kids. Here is but a small sample of her supposedly kid-friendly introduction:

"Like, who knew? Cooking is way fun the Semi-Homemade® way. Hook up with Sandra and her nieces and nephews and get creative in the kitchen – morning, noon and totally whenever. No more, “What’s for dinner?” Kids fix their faves. Pizza, spaghetti, dig-that dessert and sooo kewl smoothies – it’s all good… and all easy, with spot-on directions and "mix and fix" pix that help growing gourmets score incredible edibles. Later on the leftovers. This book cooks. And you can, too!"

Frightening, isn't it? Once you see this woman and her insane extended family (including Kimber, Miss Stephanie and the sexually ambiguous Brycer), you will understand the hilarity that is Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee.

The Horrors of Semi-Homemade coming soon!

Trailer for Satoshi Kon's Paprika

Jess and I are huge fans of Kon's previous TV Show Paranoia Agent. It's nice to see a gorgeous show that makes you think. Thankfully Kon's latest work is hitting US theatres on June 1, 2007 and it looks great. The quote from the NYT is a gross generalisation, so don't let it get to you if your a fan of US animation.

Enjoy

Trailer for Satoshi Kon's Paprika

Coming Soon: What Could We Be Planning????

Here is a little preview!

Coming Soon: What Could We Be Planning????

Let it not be said I only pick on apes appearing in Chinese films.

Well, tecnhically this was an American film made in the Republic of Korea, but screw it I love this film.

Let it not be said I only pick on apes appearing in Chinese films.

Enter The Baradagi Cheng Sing Fights An Ape and Bruce Li Beats Up Granny!

An ape thought it could fight Cheng Sing. Poor stupid ape.



Granny though she could piss of Bruce Li. Wrong!

Enter The Baradagi Cheng Sing Fights An Ape and Bruce Li Beats Up Granny!

Seven Man Army Audio Review and Video Clips!

Today we have an audio review that was done for Cheng Cheh's amazing Seven Man Army in celeberation of Cheng Cheh month. This is a great film and prehaps one of the most star-studded films ever prehaps only rivaled by Shanghai 13.

The Audio Review
http://www.yousendit.com/download/QlVqUWV2cGtTRTQwTVE9PQ

The Final Fight

Seven Man Army Audio Review and Video Clips!

Enter the Baradagi- Bruce Li Fights an Ape!

This is a new section of the site courtesy of my friend Brad who is an aficionado of just plain weird films and a lot of them are kung fu related. His youtube channel has more than just kung fu so make sure to check it out (especially if you like Godzilla films and the ilk..

Now ladies and gentlemen. Bruce Li Fights an Ape!

Enter the Baradagi- Bruce Li Fights an Ape!