all 76 comments

[–]MetaMemeAboutAMeme 1113 points1114 points  (12 children)

I'm SQL and I'll be your server tonight. May I join your tables together?

[–]uninterestingly 141 points142 points  (6 children)

Are you ready for karma? Because you're about to be flooded with karma.

Edit: unless people don't check notifications anymore...

[–]MetaMemeAboutAMeme 82 points83 points  (3 children)

Bobby? Bobby Tables? Could you check on that table of students over there?

[–]Namby-Pamby_Milksop 34 points35 points  (2 children)

That's a reference to this, for anybody who doesn't get this.

[–]ThePixelCoder 15 points16 points  (1 child)

To be honest, I doubt anyone on this sub hasn't seen that xkcd yet. And if you haven't, I guess you're one of today's lucky 10,000.

[–]MetaMemeAboutAMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I bought some Diet Coke and Mentos. Now what?

[–]Matrix_V 21 points22 points  (1 child)

A SQL query walks into a bar. He goes up to two tables and asks, "may I join you?".

[–]ThePixelCoder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know an even better joke.

A database engineer walks into a restaurant with some friends, but the table is not big enough for all of them. So he asks an employee "Can I join those tables?"



But seriously, your joke is almost exactly the same as /u/MetaMemeAboutAMeme's joke.

[–]NelsonBelmont 18 points19 points  (0 children)


[–]futuneral 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Be prepared for some injection

[–]smoov22 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You can KRACK my WPA2 Baby

[–]JangoCodigo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Select anything from our finest menu. And if you are really hungry, might I recommend the *.

[–]urbanek2525 79 points80 points  (2 children)

I especially like the Prairie Dog photobomb in the background.

[–]disgr4ce 5 points6 points  (0 children)


[–]TagJones 79 points80 points  (12 children)

wait for the drop

[–]KernelDeimos 25 points26 points  (9 children)

UPDATE upvotes SET count=1000 WHERE user=TahJones

[–]Sleepy_da_Bear 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Get some tick marks around that string. Oh, and you updated the wrong user.

[–]KernelDeimos 14 points15 points  (2 children)



UPDATE upvotes SET count=(SELECT count FROM upvotes WHERE user='TagJones') WHERE user='TahJones'
UPDATE upvotes SET count=1000 WHERE user='TagJones'

The database admin will never know...

[–]Sleepy_da_Bear 12 points13 points  (1 child)

...subquery returned more than one result... lol

[–]KernelDeimos 5 points6 points  (0 children)


[–]EscorSpoon 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Lol Ta'H'Jones got karma for nothing

[–]MetaMemeAboutAMeme 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I'm tired of trying to keep up with the Jones's.

[–]EscorSpoon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The T-Jones

[–]MetaMemeAboutAMeme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mr. T-Jones. "I pity the fool who tries to keep up with me!"

[–]r0lav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Should’ve used a transaction so you could rollback :)

[–]Naraku893 17 points18 points  (1 child)


[–]KernelDeimos 17 points18 points  (0 children)

D-D-D-D-D-D-' DROP TABLE bass; --

heavy part ensues

[–]JohnHQ1 10 points11 points  (2 children)

A SQL query walks into a bar and sees 2 table. He walk up to them and says ‘Can I join you’?

Then a waitress walks up and says ‘Nice View’.

[–]Derrits 8 points9 points  (1 child)

And then Bobby walks in and says "are you ladies ready for an injection?".

[–]F4PipBoyEdition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then the entire bar disappears

[–]deathlesgaming 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My eyes are burning what did I just see.

[–]not_just_a_horse 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Welcome to everyone who got the notification

[–]OmarRIP 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Huh I was expecting a SQL waiter/server with his data bass (fish) on a platter ready to serve to clients.

[–]theedeacon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt the fish was gonna be here too

[–]0ganesson 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Who else is here from reddit notifications?

[–]ephemeral_gibbon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not hard to turn them off. I agree they're useless but not mandatory

[–]magicsdevil 2 points3 points  (1 child)

damn is that a warwick

[–]stabbie_mcgee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a Samick. I have a Samick artist series I got when I was 10, it's orange and magical.

[–]csquest-throwaway 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Alright Skrillex


[–]actualspaceturtle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

His favorite genre is ACID rock.

[–]phonzie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's a rebel and in to non-compliance.

[–]rear_naked_toke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

5 string, would mosh

[–]TheRealLordOfTheBass 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I love this, being a bassist and programmer myself

[–]dir_gHost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lucky you're not a dj, otherwise ur databases would drop a lot

[–]carltoncarlton 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do you also look like you’ll never kiss a girl?

[–]TheRealLordOfTheBass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I look good enough to be able to kiss a girl 😂

[–]notsoeasytopickaname 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I never understood why bass is pronounced like base. It should be pronounced like b-ass.

[–]IsaacShelton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Notification squad where you at?

[–]ShadyLizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you work at TelAmeriCorp?

[–]JohnHQ1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got a slow performance query.

[–]TheOddScientist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's time for your insulin injection.

[–]dir_gHost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Careful with that dataBass you may drop it, you dont have any supporting hardware (strap).

[–]unusualbob 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're exactly what we're looking for at our company, a programming rockstar.

[–]Hexorg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And here I thought my puns were bad

[–]MizchiefKilz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly the kind of costume I would expect from a MSSQL DBA

[–]beadlejack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Found this in the middle of running a databases lab. Made the last hour way better

[–]nerdyogre254 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be honest - how many times did you have to explain that joke?

[–]howonpc 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]usesth_YamNyam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yuck.. Samick bass

[–]0000000100100011 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But does it dj0nt?

[–]alteredpersona 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh the horror

[–]SteeleDynamics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I'll be your server this evening. Tonight's special is Parliament Funkadelic's Mothership Connection. It's Bootsie Collins served with a side of Dennis Chambers and a hint of George Clinton. This is one of my favorites and it will definitely funk you up.

[–]snarfy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was expecting this

[–]Meret123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that was a terrifying experience.

[–]Detratone 0 points1 point  (4 children)

5 strings huh? Must be smart unlike most bassists.

[–]marcopennekamp 0 points1 point  (2 children)


[–]Razier 0 points1 point  (1 child)

5 > 4? I don't know

[–]Detratone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of bassists are idiots that are too dumb to play guitar. I can see he is not one of them.

[–]mayonaiselivesmatter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

im ofended i pla bas and im vere smart, dOwNvOtE

[–]dgurnani 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]TJast3c -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you got this, you are worthy enough to watch Rick and Morty 😄😑

[–]clevariant -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Try harder.

[–]jinx__bot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jinx! You and DemianMusic posted the same comment at the same time! See their comment here.

I am a bot who is owed many Cokes.

[–]xni0n -2 points-1 points  (0 children)