About - Tequila Willy


It is with regret and sorrow that we announce the passing of our friend Tequila Willy ("Andy"). Willsie is survived by his wife and sons, his mother, and his brethren in the Cow.

Tequila Willy joined the cDc in March 1988 and was an active member throughout the 1990s and into the early aughts, after which time he retired but continued to provide his signature brand of wit and wisdom when called upon in support of the cause.

Rest In Peace, Brave Follower of Cow.


The following is a list of Tequila Willy's contributions that have been cleared for public release by the cDc Department of Public Affairs. And you know what THAT means.

10-22-1999 - "Bizzare [sic] Answers from Cult of the Dead Cow"
11-01-1994 - 289 "Can There Be Artificial Intelligence?" by Tequila Willy
07-01-1994 - 263 "What Color Is the Sky in Your World?" by Tequila Willy
05-01-1994 - 257 "Goodnight, Benjamin" by Tequila Willy
04-01-1993 - 230 "2:00 O’Clock Bus" by Tequila Willy and Bambi the Usurper
04-01-1993 - 225 "Tequila Willy’s Position Paper" by Reid Fleming & Omega
03-01-1993 - 213 "Smurf Impalement" by Tequila Willy
01-01-1993 - 210 "My Shit, and How to Strangle It" by Tequila Willy
12-18-1992 - 200 "cDc #200 ... File" by Swamp Ratte’ (contributions by Tequila Willy)
08-31-1991 - 192 "Compact Disc Scam" by Tequila Willy
08-31-1991 - 188 "Illusion of Motion" by Tequila Willy
08-31-1991 - 184 "It Looked Back at Me" by Tequila Willy
07-20-1991 - 182 "Woooaaahhh, Nelly!" by Tequila Willy
07-20-1991 - 177 "Feed ’Em to the Lions!" by Tequila Willy
07-20-1991 - 172 "Wet-Mount Slide" by Tequila Willy
07-20-1991 - 170 "My Grey Matter" by Tequila Willy
02-18-1991 - 164 "BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL - A Contemporary Interpretation"
                    by Tequila Willy
02-18-1991 - 158 "That Dirty Beach" by Tequila Willy
07-23-1990 - 144 "Whose Morality?" by Tequila Willy
04-03-1990 - 126 "Stud Muffin R0dent" by Tequila Willy
04-24-1989 - 100 "cDc #100 BamBam File" by The cDc cultees
08-17-1988 - 071 "The *ONLY* Way To Get Telenet Thingies" by Tequila Willy
02-08-1988 - 045 "Beaming Dream" by Tequila Willy


In person: Boyish good looks, disarmingly funny, quietly understated, but still true to the persona that came through his many messages on B40 of Demon Roach Underground BBS.

No matter the topic, almost every message from Willy was an opportunity to work in an over-the-top story – real, imagined or feverishly hallucinatory – about a sexual dalliance or potential sexual dalliance. According to his telling, even the most banal interaction with a female had some powerful, latent undercurrent of sexual potential. I remember one message where he recounted going through the checkout at a grocery store in the small town where he lived. The girl at the checkout made small-talk as she rang up his items. After Willy paid the bill, “She winked at me. And you know what THAT means.”

Most of his messages ended with “She _____. And you know what THAT means.” He never came out and said it, but over time it became clear that Willy was the unfortunate target of a global conspiracy on the part of all women everywhere to fuck him. He managed the heavy burden well.

Reid Fleming and I shared a room with him at a hotel near the Hard Rock Cafe during Defcon, at the unveiling of Back Orifice in 1998. Though we didn’t meet in person until 1998, that didn’t stop us from writing about him years earlier.

In 1992, Reid and I were caught up in the excitement of the Presidential campaign. Reid had been reading a lot of Hunter S. Thompson and was especially enamored with Thompson’s coverage of the Nixon campaign in Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72. I think we both were in a mood to write some hard-hitting (but funny) political journalism pieces, but the existing candidates were getting plenty of coverage, by writers more renowned than us. What to do?

We decided to invent a candidate. Quite without his knowledge or consent, we picked the charismatic Tequila Willy and wrote as though he was the John Anderson of the 1992 campaign.

I’d swear we wrote several text-files about his run for the Presidency, but I can only find two:

  • Tequila Willy’s Position Paper In which Reid and I imagined Willy adapting the Kama Sutra to stake out his positions on political issues of the day.
  • Post-Election ’92 Cult Coverage Sadly, 1992 ended in the election of an unknown quantity named Bill Clinton. In cDc #247, we summarized the lasting effects of Willy’s campaign in American politics and looked ahead to 1996.
Willy was a prodigous writer. As a philosophy professor in-the-making, several of his text-files tackle important, but complicated philosophical topics while making them accessible to the layman:

When the mood struck him, Willsie could also write light-hearted, exceptionally funny smut. cDc #172 is one of the best and certainly one of the most well-known text-files ever published by cDc.

Recollecting candidate Willsie: “His colleagues say he is honest and exceptionally intelligent, a man of great personal integrity and ambition, with a penchant for busty women with ‘chewy pussies.’”

We will miss you, Willsie.

                                                                                               — Omega

I was always very fond of Andy and got to spend time with him in Vegas. I’ll never forget one of his sly comments when we were sitting in the SotE after the BO2K launch. Dildog and Sir Dystic were talking on the other side of the room and Andy said, you see that? Jim Morrison is having a conversation with Mozart. At the time it was a perfect observation.

                                                                                               — Oxblood Ruffin


Mind viruses. Deadly memes.

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RIP Tequila Willy

Tequila Willy
September 7, 1969 - May 25, 2015


December 29, 1951 - June 14, 2012

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