‘public’ vs 'private’ on tumblr
increasingly, i am running into the following viewpoint: that all posts people make are, by default, open to the public and available to be commented on by strangers, regardless of stated wishes in tags, readmores, topics of conversation, etc
the argument seems to be that because tumblr itself is a public space, anything posted on tumblr is also, because tumblr, unlike livejournal (where many of us are from), has no ability to do filtering or friends lock on posts
and i for one have to say i don’t get it? take a step back from your own opinions on the matter for a second, and i’ll tell you a story. say you are meeting with an old friend, and wish to have a conversation. you two decide to meet in a coffee shop. while your friend is talking about difficulties with their new relationship, another person that neither of you know approaches your table and comments on what an awful person your friend is for being frustrated with their partner for [insert reason here].
generally speaking, you are going to respond to someone like this with ‘wtf i don’t know you leave us alone.’ say in this case you do. the person gets very offended at you and tells you ‘you’re in a public space!’
while they are technically correct, social norms and general politeness, generally speaking, dictate that what they have done is Not A Thing People Should Do. being in a public space, shockingly enough, does not void your right to have a private conversation without a stranger eavesdropping on you.
so why are we so resistant to this idea on tumblr?
Oh god, this again.
Ugh, I hated this shit on LJ and I see it’s now on Tumblr as well (which I find even more ridiculous).
Look, yes, first of all, if people make a post on tumblr and put PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG OR RESPOND TO THIS at the top, it is kind of a dick move to defy their wishes, unless say, their post is wildly offensive and they tagged it with, say, the name of a popular show, knowing full well people filter by tags on tumblr, in which case it is perfectly fine to respond to them by telling them they’re being offensive or whatever, imo.
But more broadly, there are 2 issues here:
1. If you’re going to talk about a virtual space and describe its social norms (which to you seem universal and obvious and common sense) by comparing it to a “real world” space, DONT’. Just… don’t. I remember when people were doing that “what if you were at a party and someone whispered something in your ear, would you tell someone else?” thing to talk about whether it was OK to disclose info from locked posts (yeah, guess what even “private” on LJ wasn’t really private) and it annoyed the fuck out of me even back then.
Not because I think people shouldn’t respect privacy settings, but because I always feel like those theories came from such entitlement and self centeredness, typical of, shall we say, certain sections of the internet population.
But anyway, a journal is not like a party, a website is not like a cafe, a tumblr tag is not like a busy street, a crocodile is not like a horseshoe. Just… stop. Those comparisons are always flawed, they’re never accurate, they never work. Websites are different. They have different rules, different codes, different cultures than physical spaces. It’s not that there’s no relation, but you can’t just be like “going on tumblr is totally like going to my neighborhood cafe!” because it isn’t. Public is different, private is different. None of those similies ever work when you try to use physical-space rules and apply them to the internet.
2. ONE OF THE REASONS is that the internet, unlike a cafe, is not based in one country or one culture. Tumblr (and LJ, and DW) are not part of your neighborhood or your street or your college or your hometown. They are not where you went on holiday, they are not where your parents were born. They are something ELSE, they’re a place that exists and doesn’t, made up simultaneously of many different cultures, different spaces, different perspective. THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE IT IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD, OK. You can tailor your internet experience to reflect only people you know IRL or feel comfortable with IRL, but that is not what the internet IS. It’s not what tumblr is.
I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m going to guess that people who pipe up about social norms of politeness on giant, international internet spaces come from a culture where most of the people they’ve met on the internet have been from the same geographical area as them (for example, North America). I also think it’s indicative of a perspective that only their way of life, their experiences, their notion of politeness matters, but that’s a different issue.
Because the thing is - the internet creates its own norms of politeness, its own culture. And it’s not like a egalitarian process, of course the more people from your area there are the bigger your culture’s influence is.
But as someone who’s never known more than 3-4 people on LJ/Tumblr who were from her country, I don’t feel the need to apologize for the fact that my notion of proper, of private, of public, of engagement is different than the English speaking majority’s on the internet.
When I go to English speaking countries? Sure, I’m a visitor, I’m a tourist, I have to comply and adjust. But on the internet? Sorry, people, this space is mine as much as it is yours. Stop telling me how you’d behave in your neighborhood cafe - I don’t care. It’s irrelevant. Stop judging internet interactions by the standards of how you grew up, stop telling me what’s “polite” or “proper” or whatever.
I mean, if you want to push for a certain mode of interaction, by all means. But be honest. Say - this is how it’s most convenient for me, and I have a majority, so y'all better fall in line or GTFO. Don’t tell me it’s “polite”.
(via crossedwires)
