My whole issue with throwing words like gaslighting around is NOT because I care about the dilution of its meaning, it’s about how they construct enemies out of conflict. Like you accuse someone of gaslighting, it implies abuse, which constructs a victim-perpetrator dichotomy out of a conflict which may not have one. Even if someone is wrong and is hurting your feelings, even if they are being shitty and lying, it doesn’t make them an abuser. Hurt feelings and frustration at not being listened to is not the same as abuse. You can be hurt, you can be wronged, without the other person being some type of perpetrator. I think it’s really important to deconstruct these dynamics if we don’t want to use carceral logic to respond to conflict.
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pinkqwilfish asked:
so at my new job there’s been a lot of confusion over my gender (which as an enby is great) but somehow in the confusion my coworkers came to assume I’m a trans man and even though I’m AMAB I’ve used the confusion as leverage to get them to put tampons/pads in the men’s room and add a gender neutral bathroom for any transmascs/enbies down the line and I kept thinking “this is like the ‘my gender is whatever makes the joke funnier’ thing but the opposite??” and anyway tldr here is my “My gender is” alignment chart
Oh this is amazing so many of these are a mood
reblogging for the chart, clearly a mood
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