NawlinWiki
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ATTENTION!
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NawlinWiki is a Wikipedia administrator of mixed Indian and African American descent, and aside from bots, is probably one of the most active Wikipedians ever on any wiki run by the Wikimedia Foundation. As of November 2008, he stands at a mere #15 in terms of human editors' rankings, but had made 119,916 (or 1.19916 * 10 ^ 5) edits. NawlinWiki started out on Wikipedia in 2004 as a typical IP editor writing a conflict-of-interest article about his great-aunt. He then registered an account in 2005, whilst his hometown was being epically pwnt by Mother Nature.
As could be expected, NawlinWiki did not get much attention at the time of the flooding and as such he found a hugbox in the form of TOW. This is fortunate for him because if he'd (this article will refer to NawlinWiki as male for the sake of not posterity, but clarity) registered an account with the word 'wiki' in it during 2008, a little Hitler like Maxim would apply the block because since the word 'wiki' refers to a "Wikimedia Foundation process or namespace", it'd be blocked at this page just like a typical spam account and they'd have lost one of their biggest slaves for doing their dirty work without even knowing it.
NawlinWiki is the archetypal fake editor; others like Sceptre and LaraLove try but cannot reach the levels of spiritual enlightenment (or 'self-actualization' if you are a fan of Jewish philosophers/psychologists like Abraham Maslow who posited that money was more important than any airy-fairy bullshit) that NawlinWiki has gained by using the criteria for speedy deletion as a meditation technique (why meditation, you ask? More on that later in this article).
A while back, NawlinWiki, being the asspie robot slave that he is, spent almost three hours solid cleaning up the debris left behind by Grawp and his truly massive cock. Not only that, in doing so, he managed to freeze and crash the entire English Wikipedia database several times. This was considered an epic win for us all, and hit the Wikipedos hard. He is the reason why the server crashed in Peter Chimaera-esque story of Alison.
Contents
Who is NawlinWiki?[edit]
Prior to the publication of this article brought to you by Encyclopedia Dramatica, it was a great mystery as to the identity of NawlinWiki. Due to the fact that there is only sparse information on NawlinWiki's userpage, there have been various theories put forward as to who this anonymous pussy is, all of which involve the assumption that NawlinWiki has no life.
- Old and retired, with nothing better to do, going by the "remembers using a rotary dial telephone" userbox.
- Disabled or crippled in a wheelchair, but with the brain still intact and needing stimulation.
- A feat of artificial intelligence, involving understanding of natural language semantics in a way that no computer program has ever done before, which would make Alan Turing shit bricks in his grave.
- The philosopher of sex, Alan Soble, who got all his pornographic literature destroyed during the floods of 2005, and then gave up hope and started on Wikipedia Porn instead.
- A 20 something year old. Based on the age of his grandfather, although they start having babies at ages younger than even Chris Hansen has busted people for in Africa/India. The "rotary telephone" is probably a lie, although in Africa/India, it wouldn't be surprising!
It is known, however, that NawlinWiki is the Chris-chan of Wikipedia. Always trollable, always willing to provide moar lulz - you just need to know how to do it.
The Truth[edit]
NawlinWiki is a member of Generation X, and is a thirty-something virgin and only child who still lives with his parents. His parents were from an Indian immigrant family who moved to the Louisiana area at least 100 years ago. They have long since realized that the only thing he is good for is for fighting vandalism and spam on Wikipedia, but they let him be, because the Indian (that's Indian Indian, not Native American) work ethic which the family got whilst in contact with Protestant British colonists during the 19th century before they emigrated to the States is deeply ingrained in their culture. This kind of makes him the Chris-chan of Wikipedia, as he probably still lives with his dad Keshav Malik, who doubtless constantly tells him to stop editing that damned wiki, but Indian style, as opposed to Bob Chandler, who does it redneck style.
His great-aunt is the notable Indian classical dance teacher Kapila Vatsyayan. Srsly. Since certain peoples with their origins in certain lands in south-central Asia mix well with other races, it can be assumed that NawlinWiki is of the same genetic stock, rendering Hagger's belief about NawlinWiki correct.
NawlinWiki also claims to be a youth soccer referee.[2]
| —NawlinWiki, momentarily ditching his robotic, emotionless nature by dissing ByAppointmentTo and telling it how it is., [3] | ||
What 13-year-old boys have to say about NawlinWiki[edit]
| —Some other fag. | ||
| —Some other other fag. | ||
A Day (Or 30 Minutes, At Least) In The Life Of NawlinWiki[edit]
- 04:36, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Kaytlyn Pratt" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:35, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) blocked "Jmarie75 (Talk | contribs)" (account creation blocked) with an expiry time of indefinite (Vandalism-only account)
- 04:35, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Spencer Spalding" (G3: Vandalism)
- 04:33, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Cody Dufrene" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:32, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Michael B. Younan" (G11: Blatant advertising)
- 04:32, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Spencer Spalding" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:31, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Overthrow Chester Bennington" (A7 (group): Group/band/company/etc.; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:30, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Image:Ps4.jpg" (I5: Image is unused and not free)
- 04:29, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "PlayStation 4" (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
- 04:29, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Posie pod" (G11: Blatant advertising)
- 04:28, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Cody Dufrene" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:28, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "PlayStation 4" (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
- 04:28, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Zach saia" (G2: Test page)
- 04:27, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Taem" (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
- 04:27, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "1.Differentiate dynamic scheduling and dynamic inventory. How would you integrate them to enhance productivity" (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
- 04:27, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Crossdown crosstown" (A1: Not enough context to identify subject)
- 04:27, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "The Avon Junkies" (A7 (group): Group/band/company/etc.; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:26, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Nike 6.0" (G7: One author who has requested deletion or blanked the page: db-nocontext)
- 04:26, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "WikiProject Infoboxes/Simple templates/Example River" (G7: One author who has requested deletion or blanked the page: content before blanking was: '{{Make Infobox |ibtitletext={{{river_name}}} |ibtitlebg=#cedeff |ibheadtext={{Make Infobox Head ImgCaption |imgname= )
- 04:26, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Posie pod" (G11: Blatant advertising)
- 04:25, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Taylor reustle" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:22, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Jack Williams (Musician)" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:22, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Spencer Spalding" (G3: Vandalism)
- 04:19, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Image:EOT Logo.jpg" (used only for deleted article)
- 04:18, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Image:EOTlogo.jpg" (used only for deleted article)
- 04:18, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "End Of Time Entertainment" (A7 (group): Group/band/company/etc.; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:17, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Killa-mo 187" (G4: Recreation of deleted material: Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Killa-mo 187)
- 04:16, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "KeysoftSolutions" (G11: Blatant advertising)
- 04:15, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Spencer Spalding" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:14, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Farttown" (G3: Vandalism)
- 04:12, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "PLANTworldwide" (R1: Redirect to a deleted, nonexistent, or invalid target)
- 04:12, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "PLANTWW" (G7: One author who has requested deletion or blanked the page: content before blanking was: '{{Infobox_Company | company_name = PLANTworldwide | company_type = Private | company_slogan = Developing your future| foundation = [[Manhattan, )
- 04:11, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "D'Mitri Rian (RAYON) Agnes" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:10, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) blocked "220.244.161.110 (Talk)" (anon. only, account creation blocked) with an expiry time of 55 hours (Vandalism)
- 04:09, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Jim scheall" (G10: Pure attack page or negative unsourced BLP)
- 04:07, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Steve Schein" (A7 (bio): Real person; doesn't indicate importance/significance)
- 04:07, 18 June 2008 NawlinWiki (Talk | contribs) deleted "Maybelyn G.Ajero" (G2: Test page)
The above logs are enough to make any self-respecting Wikipedia Review member facepalm for the sake of NawlinWiki himself. However, inside sources from that particular web forum state that NawlinWiki and Persian Poet Gal are communicating through Wikipedo IRC after being set up by each others' parents in an arranged marriage and will find true WikiLove together and be happy ever after, making babies together so that they raise them for the sole purpose in life of reverting vandalism without Jimbo Wales even noticing, because Jimbo's fighting off his sex drive rather than deleting, protecting and salting HAGGER every second of his waking life like the happy couple do. Also, cocks.
NawlinWiki has also been known to visit Encyclopedia Dramatica, and in particular Talk:Grawp, the page which is being watched by many Wikipedophiles. NawlinWiki clearly hasn't discovered Talk:Hagger yet, the new club for the cool kids of Wikipedia vandalism, but he's not going to go there because Hagger has a predilect for referring to NawlinWiki as 'negro scum' for some strange reason (hell, even Hagger's slave has taken interest in NawlinWiki). The main reason that NawlinWiki reads the Grawp talk page is to try to prevent page move vandalism from happening in the first place, so he will use protection on articles that EDiots have said that they will vandalize, even if they're not going to actually do so.
NawlinWiki has also taken to the practice of deleting as many of Grawp’s edits as he can. This is particularly lulz-worthy, as Grawp can now make him temporarily delete almost any article he wants simply by moving the page. This leads to pwnage of Wikipedia’s servers, for every time NawlinWiki deletes a page with close to or over a thousand revisions, it temporarily slows down and sometimes even freezes Wikipedia’s shitty database. Examples of this censorship can be seen here and here in the pages whose links are blue.
NawlinWiki as a Bureaucratic Fuck[edit]
NawlinWiki maintains a list of things that will get speedily deleted in his userspace. Being one of the most active Wikipedia admins in the field of the criteria for speedy deletion (rivalled ONLY, and we really mean ONLY, by DerHexer), everyone else in the Cabal pretty much trusts his judgment and allows him to delete whatever he fucking feels like. This page in his userspace also violates WP:BITE, because it’s telling newcomers that nobody cares about your garage band. Also, articles about sex practices clearly do not meet CSD A7 and do not meet G1 or G3 if they are written coherently, so there is no justification other than Ignore All Rules for NawlinWiki to speedily pwn articles about “the sex practice involving excretory functions that you just made up,” in his own words. They must instead be taken to AFD or PROD, because Wikipedos are obsessed with rules and process.
Unlike many other Wikipedians, NawlinWiki is not strong on communication and spending hours discussing policy changes etcetera. He tends to just get on with the job and take things into his own hands, and never questions his own actions, therefore doesn't feel the need to discuss them with others.
The faggotry and cuntishness of NawlinWiki made it to the blogosphere some time back - here, a blogger talks about NawlinWiki's faggotry back in 2006. She really gave NawlinWiki a good verbal grilling here.
| —You go girl! Rub it in his face. She also gave him the shit he deserved here as well. | ||
The comments left after that post tend to reflect the existing body of knowledge that we all have about NawlinWiki. Among these...
| —See, he is a fucking robot after all. | ||
| —An anonymous editor makes a death threat against NawlinWiki. | ||
Amazingly, that last one is not the first death threat that NawlinWiki has been given - some idiot made a death threat against him Last Thursday for his 'censorship', and it is not known whether this person enjoyed a ride in the party van afterwords. Famous musician Tom Waits has the following to say about Nawlins and NawlinWiki:
| —Tom Waits on how he'd like to go to Nawlins and pwn NawlinWiki by getting him drunk for the first time... it's not against Hindus' religion to drink alcohol, you know, unlike with Muslims. | ||
NawlinWiki also receives complaints when he freezes and slows down Wikipedia’s servers by deleting Grawp’s edits from articles. Here are a few examples:
| —Wikipedo admin Tiptoety, [5] | ||
| —[6] | ||
| —NawlinWiki fails to recognize the real purpose of vandalism, (sauce) | ||
NawlinWiki's anus[edit]
NawlinWiki's anus is the anus of the Wikipedia sysop known as NawlinWiki.
NawlinWiki's anus is regularly stretched and widened by Grawp's massive cock.
NawlinWiki's anus was once narrow, but is now wide, if Grawp is to be believed.
NawlinWiki's anus can be viewed getting stretched in the history of his talk page.
NawlinWiki's anus is Indian.
NawlinWiki and his tiny penis.
NawlinWiki appears on porn sites such as this so that he can make money to pay for his internet connection and delete Grawp's vandalism.
NawlinWiki posing for Wikimedia Commons
NawlinWiki and his azn friend.
NawlinWiki enjoying buttsecks.
NawlinWiki after having had his eyes gouged out by JarlaxleArtemis after he acted on the threats of violence he made.
What is an Indian soccer referee doing in America anyway?
Links[edit]
- User talk. Troll for great justice.
- Talk archives. Mainly featuring barnstars and people getting butthurt about the criteria for speedy deletion.
- His logs (deletions and protections)
- The Title Blacklist, which NawlinWiki regularly edits due to Grawp.
- NawlinWiki mentioned in Slate
- NawlinWiki's gay dating profile
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NawlinWiki is part of a series on Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article July 26, 2008 | ||
| Preceded by Japanese Bug Fights |
NawlinWiki | Succeeded by Censorship |
