Rap

WEALTH WARNING! This article contains Niggers and Jews!

No Homo

Eazy-E invented gangsta rap. He also died of AIDS; the main chemical involved in the creation of his music.

Niggers in the making.

Crap, also known as hippity hop, Retards Attempting Poetry, Ear-Rape, and sometimes rap, started out as music made by niggers specifically for consumption by the hip black community. Ironically (thanks to MTV), wiggers, Puerto Ricans, Romanians, Jews and even Asians make up the majority of rap fans. Today, rap has become completely stale and most rappers just make their shitty music for money. Rap was taken over and revamped by the middle class, but this gradually changed. This is considered highly offensive by the black community, as blacks never steal anything from whites. Evar.

Terrorists of Popular Music

You've been warned.

From Tupac's music video for Ambition Az A Ridah

	“	I don't mean everything about rap is crap. I just mean the majority of it.	„
	—Eminem, stating the obvious

Rap is a genre of music created by criminals and niggers (which are the same thing) where the "rapper" (AKA a faggot or high school dropout) rhymes about such diverse themes as raping bitches, smoking crack/weed, killing Da Poleese, and getting money, which is played over a drum beat or sample. Famous rappers include Biggie Smalls, 2 Pac, NAS, Puff Daddy, George Bush and A Tribe Called Quest, but nowadays rap is dominated by attention-whores, white faggots (see Asher Roth, and Mac Miller), pedos and rich Jews (see Drake).

Also, rap is extremely innovative. Never before did anyone ever have the idea of calling the extremely common sight of niggers fantasizing about raping, murdering, and looting; "music".

Side Effects of Listening to Rap

It is common knowledge that rappers steal cars and rape ho's off the backs of their retarded listeners. Many rap enthusiasts also suffer health issues from listening to rap. Listening to rap music instantly blows your ears open, causes its listeners to loose an incredible amount of brain cells for every nanosecond they listen to it, causes you to go back millions of years in evolution, regresses you into a monkey dumber than a fucking chimpanzee, and gives you AIDS. Even if you're not a nigger, the second you listen to rap you WILL find yourself on COPS being beaten up and tazed by Animal Control.

Rap and Hip Hop

Rap's politically correct 'brother', Hip Hop was also rap's negligent parent. Although primarily considered by adherents to be a 'lifestyle' and/or movement hip hop purports to include "music" (rap), fashion, "art", and dance. As a musical genre, Hip Hop is supposedly more thoughtful, conscious and 'cleaner' than Rap and thus tl;dr and shit nobody cares about since it promotes such ludicrous ideals as black pride, respect for the black woman and non-violence whist it denounces such things as black-on-black violence, using the word "nigger", calling any women "bitches" and all the other stereotypical trappings of the gangsta rapper's 'ghetto nigger' lifestyle.

Most hip hop 'artists' consider themselves to be more educated, enlightened and 'advanced' than other rappers and look down upon their gun-toting brethren (who sell more records in one day that they do in a career). Many black hip hoppers have also converted to Islam and take Arabic names to show-off their piety. 99.9% of them are hypocrites, however, who enjoy smoking blunts, drinking Cosmopolitans and having sex with anything that moves whilst eating bacon sandwiches laced with X whenever the opportunity arises.

Enjoying Rap

NWA's trolling of the music industry still resonates today...

...joke's on you, niggaz

• Blacks enjoy Rap through extraordinaraly large speakers. They increase bass to make their music more obscene while purchasing blunt wraps from the local gas station.

• Whites-myself-enjoy rap with headphones, to avoid rape at the local gas station.

Rap Dance

Even white guise are experts at the amazing dance.

Even Jesus can't forgive this shit.

Kid gets owned by a Breakdancer

Slavery Reinstated

	“	Hip hop has become a minstrel show designed to make blacks look ghetto and white youth control what hip hop artists do by virtue of their purchasing power.	„
	—Truth

Rappy Merchants

Moar info: Beastie Boys.

As denounced by Michael Jackson. Archived here and here See: his own article Owns a wigger-minstrel. See also: Pizzagate

Many rappers, particularly those who have converted to Arab, express a personal dislike of Jews. For instance, Chuck D of Public Enemy once praised epic Jew-hater Louis Farrakhan as "a prophet" and complained that the Jews who control the media were crucifying him, just like they did to Jesus. Professor Griff, another PE member, went so far as to blame Jews for the majority of evil in the world, including unleashing "bling" culture onto black ghettoes through their control of the diamond industry. However, Public Enemy's first album was produced by the Jew Rick Rubin and all of the businessmen responsible for distributing their music were Jewish, revealing it all to be a staged spectacle put on by the Jews to confuse and entertain the populace and make money out of others' misfortunes.

Essentially rap music is nothing more than a plot by the Jews to convince black people that it's cool to be angry and violent criminals fated for zoo, while they make lots of media monies by selling records of blacks being angry and violent criminals in the zoo as entertainment. Essentially, it's modern day slavery. Not that many black people need much encouragement about that or anything.

“   most record labels may give you some money up front but in most cases this is simply a loan that you have to pay back before you ever make one red cent. Every expense the label incurs for it’s signed artist the artist actually pays for.   „         “   For example in 2002 The popular rap group “Dirty” was signed to universal records but was dead broke and couldn’t even pay their monthly bills.   „         “   The second most popular female rap group “TLC” sold over 65 million records worldwide but only brought home an estimated $15,000 per year and eventually had to file bankruptcy.   „         “   Most artists that are signed to labels make zero dollars off their music because they don’t own their music the label does. Plus, they only get a small percentage of the sales and on top of that many artists are in debt to the label because of the cash advances they have already received.   „         “   Most of their money is made on the road doing shows and selling merchandise. But many artists live beyond their means in order to project the image of success and behind closed doors are fighting off the IRS from tax evasion. Just a few examples are Lil Wayne, Busta Rhymes, Nas, Scarface, Lil Kim & Ja Rule.   „     —A cracker who knows the (((truth))) Previous Quote | Next Quote

(((coincidence...))) (((...undetectable)))

Constructing the Rapper

A W Mann, prophet without honor

Rappers did not exist, so it was necessary to invent them

Tie-in merchandising can be hugely profitable

• Being a nigger (or a wigger/chigger/etc.)
• Extensive criminal record
• Deep voice: It helps if you can sound like you perpetually have a mouthful of oatmeal.
• Using a "smooth" tone of voice when talking to a "lady" when in reality, you're about as smooth as sandpaper.
• Phonetic misspellings contained within your name (ex: dawg/dawwwggg, Phat, E-Z, Busta)
• A group of other "Rappers"
• Act like you can beat the shit out of absolutely anyone.
• Claiming to have a dick over 14 inches long
• Wearing a 1980s-style color-matched sports outfit
• Being from the da Hood or the projects
• Wearing gold everything around your neck - gold clock, gold Mercedes hood ornament, gold chains. The technical dexterity of the rapper is proportionate to the cm³ of gold around his or her neck
• Talking shit about other rappers, getting shot, then doing it again because you're a masochist
• Growing up on the streets

Lifestyles of the Rich and Criminal

Rappers smoke overpriced schwag, smoke heavily cut/overpriced crack, drink overpriced liquor, pop meth-cut/overpriced X and generally use the dollars of their adoring fans to pay the bikini-clad black women who strip for them were originally honor students at college, but were kidnapped, brainwashed and are now permanent prisoners in the mansions of the hip-hop artists.

It is also worth noting that in order to be a rapper, you must hate white people. It is, however, acceptable if you buy overpriced brand-name products from whitey, such as cars you don't know how to drive (e.g. Mercedes, Cadillac, Lamborghini, Rolls Royce, Bentley), jewelry you look like an asshole wearing (e.g. Rolex), designer clothing you trash daily (e.g. Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada) and other sophisticated things that niggers are too stupid or lazy to make.

Clothing

One of the greatest rappers of all time

Hip hop apparel usually consists of dangerously baggy pants that drag on the ground and trip the rapper, boxers that are constantly visible, a 25-pound matching hooded sweatshirt, oversized brown boots, fake jewelry, $500 Air Force 1 shoes (because "they're fuckin' hot kicks") and the ape inside of it all (see right). Wiggers can wear this, but their typical attire is usually wearing dark and nylons with blue flames and a lame ass dragon on the back.

Tips to Rapping Fashion

• Wear baggy clothing to look like a complete tool.
• Claim you're the best thing since sliced bread
• Rap about drugs, sex and money.
• Own a collection of flat-brimmed hats that all have LA or NY on them.
• Wear excessive cologne and grills.
• Own about 2,000 pairs of shoes, yet never ever tie any of them.
• Wear excessive bright colors that don't match at all.
• Walk with your hands tucked into your jeans.
• Pretend to like whitey sports (ex: golf).
• Pretend to hate the police while at the same time show that you don't care what they think.
• Pretend to be from "da hood", which is actually just a fictional place with couches on the lawn and rabid dogs.
• Find out WHO THE HELL SHORTY IS! He's in like every freakin' rap song! Who the hell is he?

What Classifies As A Rap Song?

Soulja Boy, your typical one (s)hit wonder rap artist. Remember Sisqó? Probably not if you were born post-1990.

For a song to classify as rap, one must be able to identify most or all of the following elements:

• A list of felonies
• Ebonics
• Swearing every other line
• Even though not in concert, you must use phrases that refer to you being in an actual concert, such as "Put ya' hands in da' air"
• Lyrics or titles containing the pseudomorph tha. as in Tha Cops Was Aksin' Me
• Multiple references to some sort of "hood" or "projects". (Somewhere in New York is always a good place to start.)
• Lyrics about raping white women in KFC (they were asking for it which is always the case).
• Police sirens.
• Anything describing sex
• Singing about hard times
• Drugs -- lots of drugs
  • If you're from the "dirty South": Include references to trashy and psychosis-inducing shit like PCP and sizzurp
• Stealing other people's work and mix it in with random sounds
• The story all about how your life got flipped, turned upside down
• If its modern rap, have a Roland Drum machine that does a beat sample played at a bat-shit crazy tempo, and then say how you're tired of using technology.
• A dance that involves being so low to the ground that you get trampled by a retard that is doing it wrong.
• Random DJ that constantly yells his name throughout the song.
• Gibberish

Rules of Rap

Not to be confused with...

1. All post-1990s rap songs are ripoffs of other songs.
2. Rhyme; it's called retards attempting poetry for a reason.
3. Use copious filler.
4. Absolutely under no circumstances can you use a time signature other than 4/4.
5. All white rappers suck, no exceptions.
6. Originality is bad.
7. If you're not gangster, you don't belong.
8. Rap about bitches, hoes and tricks -- especially if the only women you get are stank-ass, STD-infected prostitutes.
9. Button your clown lips. If you bitch about your Jew paymasters, they will kick you to the kerb before you know what hit yo bitch ass. (Archived: here)

Creation of a Hip-Hop Song

Legendary producer and known kike-puppet, Dr Dre in the studio.

The fabled "hood" which is spoken of so much in rap.

SUP DAWG

First a music producer goofs around on a cheap Casio keyboard. You know, the kind you could pick up for five bucks at a flea market and has old leaked batteries inside of it and sticky juice-stained keys. Around 45 seconds later, the proper beat and tempo is found. Then the artist starts rapping some half-assed poetry about his clothes, slutty women shaking their stinky asses, lame double-entendres, acting like a total moron at a club, and his watermelon harvest. The producer may add in a sampled melody of some unpopular Alan Parsons Project song. And that's how a hip-hop song is made. If that's too advanced for you, we here at ED have created a handy guide:

1. First, you must create a TOTALLY PIMPED-OUT and preferably illogical pseudonym because regular old names are too boring for today’s X-TREME generation.
2. You must write songs about highly innovative and original topics such as sex, drugs, violence, money, women, and nightclubs to establish yourself as a totally unique individual because those topics have never been written about before or even discussed for that matter. Remember, nobody likes a poser! Also make sure to be sexist and racist towards white people.
3. When you write a song, go for style and not substance! Make sure you rhyme as many times as you can. Don’t worry about sacrificing the coherence of your message to all your forced rhyming; there’s no substitute for kool!!! In fact, the more incoherent your song is, the better. See Riding Dirty for inspiration! Also curse a lot. Make sure to say fuck, shit, bitch, hoe, nigga, ass, dick, pussy, piss or muthafucka every other line. You are trying WAY too hard if the chorus of your song contains more than 5 different words.
4. Make sure to repeatedly lace your lyrics with random vocal interjections such as “uh-huh,” “yeah,” “dat's right,” and most recently "ballin" to remind everyone that you’re totally off the hook. Of course, these meaningless vocal spasms of shite do not serve to the fill the void when you can’t think of more substantial things to rap about...
5. Don't even bother about singing because that takes talent and effort. Just talk in somewhat of a rhythm—occasionally. Speak normally the rest of the time. Make certain that you butcher the English language as much as you can. Never speak correctly. That's not being totally pimp, yo!
6. Turn on the radio to a rock station. Listen for a catchy guitar riff and record it. Synthesize it, and alter it slightly. Loop it about 100+ times and you have your VERY OWN, NON-PLAGIARIZED RAP SONG! Next, drop random samples of police sirens and loading guns to show everyone that you're a bad-ass rebel. Then give yourself a cookie.
7. Don't forget to put a picture of a hot woman on your CD cover to compensate for your lack of hot women in the real world. Also, do it to boost the sales of your CD because you know your shit sucks, and is hence likely to attract the sort of crowd liable to use it for a cheap wank.
8. Sit on your lazy, narcissistic ass and let other people who are more competent and talented than you mix, produce, print and publish the album.
9. ??????????
10. PROFIT!

PROTIP: It is impossible for a rap "song" to be by just one rapper. It's a little known fact that every rap song features at least 100 other rappers, most of whom are unknown. In fact, the majority of every rap CD does not feature the actual rapper itself.

Anatomy of a Rap Song

The Notorious K.K.K.

Poop Dong is not sure if want...

#truth

For the Jews to make any money off this garbage, they have a systematic formula that both sells albums and retards the middle class. It also has the ability to make you "uncool" for seeing it for what it really is: THE SAME STUPID SHIT - EVERY FUCKING TIME. Top men have been studying this for years and have finally broke it down. Be warned, however: If you enjoy rap music, and still do after seeing this - You might be retarded. Only your physician can tell.

1. Start out with a single loop. Every fucking rap song in existence is in a 4/4 time signature, which is due to the fact that its all that's covered in the instruction manual that came with the equipment they stole and that niggers can't comprehend music theory in general. The initial loop is going to continue the whole song, so make it "good"! PROTIP: Rip off a song that's already been famous. Rule of thumb: Whatever that song made when it was released will be multiplied by the current cost of living in record sales(which in a nigger's case is only about as big as his welfare check, but you'd surprised. Their record label will keep all the money anyway. It's probably owned by Dr. Dre.)
2. Just before the beat comes in, scream your fucking name, then scream the DJ's name, then scream your label's name. The more name's you can fit in the beginning of the song will determine how much people will give a crap when your shit sampler destroys EVERYTHING REAL MUSICIANS WORK FOR. Example: "LIL (insert name)! FEATURING (misspell something then misspell your name) AND DJ (someone no one knows).
3. After shouting over 9000 names, give a shout out to who your target audience is. Since it's niggers and suburban kids who wish they were niggers, it's probably going to be somewhere where poor people live. For added lulz, tell them how you contributing to social growth and society in general. Example: "Doin' it beeeg n da dirty south dawgs keepin' it real! for all my homies an shawtys word!"
4. Beat comes in; again, it's 4/4 time signature. As long as the bass is up all the way, it could be a chimp farting on a snare drum and it will still get played in the club. BE SURE TO INCLUDE GUN SHOTS AND POLICE SIRENS. Without them, you're not baller. And no one will take you serious if it doesn't sound like someone was being shot when you recording this. Statistics show that most gunshots on rap songs were actually fired during recording.
5. Here comes the easy part: LYRICS! Basically, to efficiently write rap songs, templates are available. Each record company has their own, and they work similar to Mad Libs. Just fill in the blanks and your good to go! Make up words for extra points! EXAMPLE: (PROPER NOUN) BE (VERB) CAUSE I LOOK SO (ADJECTIVE); (NOUN) WANNA (VERB) ME WHEN I (VERB) THEIR (NOUN). Since black people can't understand English, it actually makes it better for some reason. No one knows why. It's probably because if you're stupid enough to like it, you're stupid enough to understand it.
6. Write your hook! It should include at least one of the following subjects:

• Looking good.
• How cool your car is.
• Your guns.
• How easy it is to get women.
• How much paper you make.
• How nice your clothes are.
• How jealous others are of your talent.
• How great you are.
• How great your neighborhood is.
• Something tragic.

N.B.   If utilizing the concept of tragedy it must relate to black people for it to be taken seriously, if it happened to white people the government would have stepped in and helped because THEY DON'T SELF PERPETUATE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT THEY'RE PEOPLE FOR PROFIT. Yea, that's what rap is.

Basically, just lie. It's not like you have anything to prove anyhow. Since it sounds like something someone already did, it's going to sell.

1. INSERT HORRIBLE FEMALE SINGER NO ONES EVER HEARD OF NOA! The less known the better! That way, while she's fucking you for a shot at fame, she might make it really big and in the meantime and insure your future as well! Better start hitting the strip clubs! PROTIP: Make them spell something. This shows that she actually got learned in her edumacation.
2. After repeating the hook over 9000 times, repeat step 1 until you run out of memory on your stolen Acer laptop.
3. Burn to CD or your Zune (also stolen.)
4. FUCKING FAMOUS.

Music Videos

Every rap video ever

If the song is about love (e.g. "I love da way you shake dat ass" in the chorus), then the music video will include scenes of the rapper in question cheating on his girlfriend and then winning her back by giving her a new necklace or diamond ring or something similar. These scenes will be, of course, intercut with clips of the rapper and his "crew" sitting in a hot tub with bikini-clad women. Little did you know that Snoop dog has a lighter softer side.

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The Only Rap Worth Listening to

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Gallery

Peep It Yo! About missing Pics

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  This guy raps about his longing for buttsex with other dudes

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  Thug life Obama

• 

  Your average rap fan

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  The proper way to enjoy rap music

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  This man still has the best selling rap album of all time

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  Thizz in peace

• 

  bustin stains on them flyboyz

• 

  Tupac lives!

• 

  Messrs Cube & T on the 'collabo tip'.

• 

  Not Gay

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 

  Yup...
  Definitely NOT GAY

• 

  Rap music makes you highly proficient in the use of the English language.

• 

  The typical response of rap fans after being trolled. Note the marvelous, intellectual and beautiful creative use of the English language.

• 

  Charting the onset of AIDS...

• 

  MOAR AIDS!

• 

  LL Cool J proudly displays his recently aquired ghetto-blasters.

• 

  MC Hammer

• 
• 

See also

Another Aryan invention plundered by darkies

If only we had listened...

• 24chan where middle class white teenagers partake in gangster rap battles on /rap/
• Almost rapped
• Discharges.org
• Ironic and Meme Rap
• Pop music
• Rap>e
• RapMusic.com
• Raproll
• SOHH
• You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

Rappists

• 2Pac - murdered by the Jewish Defense League
• Eminem - the white nigger
• 50 Cent
• bonzi_b
• Canibus
• Charlie Check'm
• Chuggo
• Flea Market Montgomery
• The Game
• Hyphy
• Lil B
• Nicki Minaj
• Meek Mill
• Rick Ross
• Soulja Boy
• T-Pain
• Will Smith
• Xzibit (SUP DAWG)
• DMX

Rap is part of a series on Music Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.

[WatermelonsFried Chicken]

Rap is part of a series of topics related to Black People☻