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Personal blog entries now here. Blogger Boobie-Thon moved here.
Want a new view? You're not stuck with this design -- skin the site!

Fock Me Amadeus
File this under, "Yep. That'll do it Pokes!" From FARK, dated 02/03:

[OSU] Student Government Association senators Derek Davies and Paul Goeringer...are co-authors of an SGA (Student Government Association) recommendation that proposes to change the name of Oklahoma State University to The Oklahoma State University...

...Davies, an agricultural economics junior, said, "Well, we were all sitting around trying to think of ways to make OSU more prestigious and help us compete nationally better. We then looked at the examples of Ohio State and Penn State with their names while we were at an agricultural conference and thought that we could do that at OSU in order to put us more in the national light."
That's almost as brilliant as just renaming their stadium to Boone Pickens Stadium.

Of course, that would be even more amusing if OU hadn't renamed theirs "The Gaylord Family-Oklahoma Memorial Stadium". Rock the Fock!
posted at 04:12 AM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it

Get up, get up - put the body in motion
So how many people out there plan to skip right on over the pre-show entertainment? Doesn't matter though. Because it's officially NFL Season 2003 in T-minus 70 minutes and counting! Light it up, baby!
posted at 07:50 PM | link--it | mail it | (5) shout it

About damned time
(Big XII) College Football starts today! And there was much rejoicing...
posted at 08:39 AM | link--it | mail it | (5) shout it

Pinch. Poke. You owe me a Coke.
I blogged about the Madden cover jinx earlier today. Todd just found this ESPN article from last week (pre-Vick injury) that goes into all of the recent gaming cover jinxes -- not just the football ones.

If I was a player's agent and they approached me about cover time for my athlete, I think my standard reply would be, "Thanks but not so much..."
posted at 08:59 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it

Here comes the BOOM!

I linked a few of these last season, and new ones were just put up for 2003-04. I uploaded one for your viewing pleasure. I promise that you don't even have to be a Sooner fan to enjoy the video. But if it doesn't get you pumped for football season, I would like to check your pulse.
posted at 01:46 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it

"Break a leg" is just a saying, dude
Looks like this blogger had it right all along. Hopefully Vick's recovery will be as rapid as Griffin's appears to be! Blasted Madden curse...I want the Bucs to win it all again on their own merit. Not "just because...".
posted at 03:30 AM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it

Oh, snap!
I swear, if it weren't for bad luck with Sooners in the pros here lately...
posted at 05:09 AM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it

Bum bum bah bah
Monday Night Football is back. John Madden...is even fatter, and presumably more senile, this season. Lisa Guerrero...is not as hot as Melissa Stark. And the Football Hall of Fame building looks like a giant OJ juicer. But, c'mon let's hit it!
posted at 08:02 PM | link--it | mail it | (12) shout it

A girl's best friend?
Here's a question for the ladies...if your man cheated on you, would you truly enjoy looking at / wearing "make-up" jewelry purchased so soon after? I don't care if the rock is $4 mil. Every time I looked at the damn thing I would be angry and hurt all over again, reliving the exact reason(s) it was sitting there on my finger. In fact, I don't even think I could wear it, to be honest. It would be too painful a reminder. Am I alone in feeling this way?
posted at 07:06 PM | link--it | mail it | (18) shout it

Sooner bred
My Joshie has joined the OU Sooners coaching staff as a graduate assistant! It's been a roller-coaster ride for Heupel the last couple of years after suffering a wrist-injury in Dolphins training camp, so I certainly hope this is the beginning of many great things to come for Josh. Good luck -- and Boomer Sooner!
posted at 05:02 PM | link--it | mail it | (3) shout it

I've been working on the railroad
"Its not that I think Mack Brown is a bad coach. Hes one of the best in the country. How many guys out there would give their right arm to be 49-15 at their school? Its just that he has the misfortune of being in the same division and on the Cotton Bowl sideline opposite arguably the best coach in the country. Macks staff does tend to err on the side of conservatism, and you cant beat a staff like Bob Stoops by being conservative." [link]
And so it begins... Bring. It. On.
posted at 06:22 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it

Title town
Congrats to the Tampa Bay Storm on winning the AFL Arena Bowl Championship in Tampa today, 43-29. It's the team's fifth -- an AFL record. Not bad...Tampa Bay gets an NFL and AFL championship in the same year... Now
posted at 07:41 PM | link--it | mail it | (5) shout it

Crimson and Cream
A bit of Sooner news to pass along...

  1. SI's 2003 OU Sooner Preview
  2. Jason White, my hunka-hunka Sooner love, has been chosen as this fall's starter at QB!
  3. So much for all those "OU can't graduate players" rumors. The American Football Coaches Association is honoring us, and 31 other schools, for graduating 82% of the 1997-98 freshman class.
  4. Fluff news piece from Todd: Former OU QB, and Cleveland Browns rookie QB, Nate Hybl crowns the 2003 Pro Football Hall of Fame Festival Queen.
posted at 01:18 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it

I'm the kinda G the little homies wanna be like
"I believe Sosa. I also believe gang members keep shotguns in their trunks just to shoot rabbits." —Chicago sports columnist on a local radio promo

UPDATE: On Rome -- Minor League team in FL offering "free cork" giveaway to the first 505 fans through the gates! The team will also give free admission to anyone with the words 'Sammy,' 'Sosa' or 'Corky' in their name, and mini cork bats to the 21st, 66th and 505th fans. Those numbers represent Sosa's jersey number, the number of home runs he hit in 1998 and his career home-run total, respectively.
posted at 01:01 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it

Say it ain't So-sa!
Wasn't me.
posted at 11:25 PM | link--it | mail it | (12) shout it

Hate me - do it and do it again
Listening to this on Rome right now...why doesn't someone just rub the guy out once and for all? Seriously. It's no big loss. All he ever really gave us was an annoying Nintendo game.
posted at 12:30 PM | link--it | mail it | (11) shout it

Rollin' with the homies
Anyone wanna buy me one of these (store not mine) for this? *ducks*
posted at 07:21 PM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it

It's in the game
Heads-up. If you're experiencing symptoms of Todd-withdrawal, he'll be writing online again soon. But there's a catch... It's gonna be sports related. My favorite Sooner will be representin' the Big XII over at Fanblogs.com.

Fanblogs.com is a group weblog dedicated to college football. This effort is the brainchild of a couple of guys who really love football (and beer). They gathered up some people, who told some people, who invited a few people along. The result is a collective blog for fans who know that week isn't over until you've posted about the big games, and the little games, and the practices, and the cheerleaders, and the tailgating, and...I think you get the picture. [link]

Be there or be !

UPDATE: You can now find Todd's first entry here.
posted at 09:26 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it

And that's the way it was...
We need another full moon. Strange news is severely lacking lately!

  1. First it was rumors of "Casablanca". Now after fulfilling Ben's fantasy with a Flashdance video, J-Lo is in talks to remake "Flashdance". Is nothing sacred with her?
  2. And they called it puppy love...
  3. Carson Daly drops $1K on lap dances during Derby weekend. For a grand, the bitch had better clean my house and wash the car, too!
  4. FARK headline: "Mike Price lost his job at Alabama after having sex* with what appears to be Dee Snider." (see photo)
  5. The Prostitution Film Festival -- with such classics as "vulva massage education". Ohhhhhhh...Delores!
And now...your moment of zen...

*Please note: It appears Price did not actually have sex with that stripper, although it's reported two others joined Price overnight in his hotel room. He did spend several hundred dollars while in Destiny's company, however.
posted at 01:57 PM | link--it | mail it | (15) shout it

The Pride of Ooooo..klahoma!
The University of Oklahoma raised well over $100 million dollars in their Great Expectations Campaign, $65 million of which was earmarked for a stadium renovation at Owen Field. The fundraising began right after the OU/Nebraska game in 2000, and construction is nearing completion for opening day this August. (Click here for Memorial Stadium renderings to see the completed upgrade sketches.) I feel an amazing sense of pride when looking through all of the renovation photographs -- I just can't believe how far the stadium has come since my days as a student.

OU students who aren't football fans can complain all they want about how much the athletics programs get, and how little the academic programs get -- but Owen Field is my place of worship. To see it now almost gives me chills. It's returning to glory because our football program has led us back there. I can't wait to step inside the gates once again! (Visit oustadiumpics.com for chronological updates on the expansion -- most recently on 05.05.03.)
posted at 12:14 AM | link--it | mail it | (5) shout it

Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon
I think about the only person on the planet right now more stupid than Mike Price trashing a $10-million dollar deal at one of the best college football schools in the country thanks to this stripper named "Destiny" (ironic, no?) -- is Catherine Zeta-Jones for smoking while pregnant (and getting busted on camera for it). I guess the bitch was ready and deserving as well... Money may buy you happiness, but it obviously doesn't buy you a clue. If Zeta had kept her trap shut instead of filing yet another tabloid-lawsuit, most of us would have never known.
posted at 08:10 PM | link--it | mail it | (17) shout it

I r coach

Its been a long time since any of us was naive enough to believe that coaches, as a group, are legitimate tutors of ethics in undergraduates. Only a handful of them meet the old expectation of coach-as-teacher and model for manly behavior anymore — Bob Stoops of Oklahoma comes to mind — and you can argue over whether many of them ever did. [quote from MSNBC.com]

Only ....
posted at 08:02 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it

Ain't no lie - bye, bye, bye
What is up with the NCAA coaches lately? First you've got the Iowa State fiasco -- two separate events involving two basketball coaches. (The head coach is on the verge of being fired for excessive drinking and photos with young women -- and an assistant coach forced to quit after child porn charges.). Then you've got the new, "never even coached a game yet" Bama football coach scenario, which is looking more and more like a job termination situation every day. Do these people not realize, like it or not, they do live in a fishbowl? And to put that kind of stuff on the university's credit card is just...beyond dumb.
posted at 08:56 PM | link--it | mail it | (9) shout it

Who 'dat?

Warren [Sapp] was interviewed at a Orlando Magic game. The reporter asked him, "What do you think of your knew quarterback Chris Simms?" His answer was: "Who? Who is that?" [pay-link from Todd]

Now that sounds more like my Tampa Bay Buccaneers!
posted at 07:23 PM | link--it | mail it | (0) shout it

[slow mo] Noooooooooooo [/slow mo]
Todd made me login to publicly state that we will never, EVER consider him a Buccaneer -- much less cheer for him. What was Chucky thinking? Ugh. Expect the two of us to be bringing some very interesting signs to training camp this summer...
posted at 08:56 PM | link--it | mail it | (15) shout it

Iraq the casbah

[OU flag in Iraq]

A quick follow-up to this photo. Never let it be said that Sooners don't represent!
posted at 11:06 PM | link--it | mail it | (8) shout it

We're Texas
[Jenna Bush - rave parties - football games]
  1. after Ricky won the Heisman...
  2. he was all like, hook 'em, hook 'em...
  3. where else can a total tool like me get laid...
  4. nationally ranked in hackey-sack and ultimate frisbee...
  5. that would explain Chris actually being a little bitch...
It's just not fair that we won't have Chrissy for one more year... He was OU's MVP. (Special thanks go out to Stephanie at the Sooner Club for the much-needed laugh!)
posted at 02:52 PM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it

I've got my orange crush
[tex-ass can bite my ass] Let this be a lesson to you boys and girls... When you go out and cheer for tex-ass, you only succeed in looking like an ass!

Hasta la bye-bye 'whorns. Your lovely parting gifts are at stage-left. You just thought it was funny when the mighty Orangemen beat us last week, huh? Good luck Jayhawks!

texass sucks...texass sucks...
texass can bite my ass!
texass sucks...texass sucks...
texass can bite my ass!
texass suuuuuuuucks!
texass suuuuuuuucks!
texass can bite my ass!
bite, bite! chew, chew! texas bites my ass, whoo hoo!
texass can bite my aaaaasssssssss!

posted at 11:19 PM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it

And now for something completely different...
FARK is having another Photoshop contest -- your favorite collegiate mascot -- just in time for March Madness!
posted at 04:02 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it

No time for losers...
[Yo ho ho - a pirates life for me!] Todd was able to leave work early on Monday afternoon, so we headed towards Raymond James Stadium about 4 p.m. They didn't open the gates 'til almost 7 p.m., but that didn't matter. It was a Super Bowl sized party outside (over 10,000 strong before 5 p.m.)! Once inside, we ended up with excellent seats on the west side of the stadium. We were between the 30 and 40-yardlines, only about 9 rows up. It was first-come, first-seated. There were so many people that they even had to open the upper decks, and the one across from us completely filled-- at least 65,000 people in attendance.

We were entertained with great Super Bowl moments on the jumbotrons, and also the ten best Super Bowl commercials. They fired the canons for each touchdown scored on the replay. We also got live updates on the team plane's location, which did a fly-by right over the stadium before it landed. The Tampa PD SWAT team had officers repel from a helicopter right onto the field. And the cheerleaders arrived first to entertain the crowd. Once the team landed at TIA, Warren Sapp called the stadium from his cell phone and said they could hear us at the airport from the team buses! Things were very, very loud. And finally...the Super Bowl champs showed up. The players, coaches and owners all took a few seconds at the podium -- and then a few of the players and the Glazers dashed around the field with the Lombardi trophy a few times. Those on the front row got to touch it! Then just like that, it was over. A week I know I'll never forget as long as I live.

I have four pages of photos from Monday afternoon and evening up in my Super Bowl Gallery. Some are a bit blury and I do apologize. It's a bit hard to shoot when 65,000 people are rockin' the joint. I'll try to get captions up tomorrow, but for now just the photos will have to do. I'm freakin' exhausted and sick as a dog, I can't feel my fingers, and I still have to work tonight. Don't get me wrong though... I am NOT complaining.

We're not going to the parade tomorrow (I'm not up to it and Todd has to work), so if anyone goes and takes pics -- pass them on and I'll link them here. One last time...CONGRATS BUCS! We love you!
posted at 02:24 AM | link--it | mail it | (10) shout it

Dancin' in the streets
It's amazing how different towns handle sporting milestones. I guess everyone expects the Oakland fans to riot -- win or lose. By contrast, other than a trash can fire and auto-pedestrian accident last weekend, for the most part things were very tame here in Tampa Bay when we clinched the NFC title. Even at a last-minute gathering of 25,000+ fans. The "riot police" at that event consisted of four men on horseback. From all local media accounts, Tampa Bay was very orderly in their celebrations tonight as well. Dale Mabry was bumper-to-bumper and Ybor was packed, but arrests were at a minimum. When OU won their national title in 2000-01, you didn't see our fans burning cars in the streets of Norman either.

I guess I've really never understood that mindset. I've never been a fan of a team where rioting was considered the "norm" (even if done by a fringe-group and looked down upon by other fans), or even something that was expected and to be braced for. Thank goodness. Your team loses? Well life goes on, and there's always next season. And if it wins -- well let's just say we all tossed back more than a few tonight in this town. But the real celebration will be done in the right way, at the right place, tomorrow night. CONGRATS BUCS!

UPDATE: Well here you go -- this is how we celebrate in Tampa. TBO.com mentions this:

"Meanwhile, in Ybor City revelers began pouring into the popular nightclub district.....At least one woman was arrested for baring her breasts, but most were described as happy fans."

And somewhat related, Tampa Bay Online also has a Super Bowl Weblog.
posted at 02:50 AM | link--it | mail it | (20) shout it

I have a little salt handy - where's an open wound?
Official 2002-03 ATPTB Bucs Football Quote of the Season: "Lets be realistic - come talk to me when the Lucks actually play and beat a team with a winning record." - iggles

My team just won Super Bowl XXXVII -- how about you, and every other smack-talker I've endured this past season, come back and talk to me now, hmmmm? Nah, I didn't forget my promise. Real blondes never do. Sometimes girls just know more about football than you.
posted at 12:51 AM | link--it | mail it | (17) shout it

San...Diego...Super Bowl'ers!
[We freaking did it!!!]

Thanks so much to everyone for all the well wishes! It makes up ten-fold for all the smack we've had to take over the years in our blogs, the press, and the world in general for being Bucs fans. What a year! Our Sooners finish in the top 5 after an amazing Rose Bowl performance, and now our Bucs are World Champions. Both of our teams, college and pro, have two of the best coaches in the game. I just can't believe it's over...7 months of golf...ugh.

This isn't the first time "my team" has won the Super Bowl. I was a Cowboys fan all of my life, until Barry Switzer's firing in the late 90s. I was raised in silver and blue and had a Cowboy Cheerleader's uniform before I could barely walk. But I can definitely say this is the sweetest. We live in, and are a part of, this community. We've been here through the early lean (orange) years as Sapp and Brooks were starting out, and the mean years where we got close but no cigar. So this is more sweet than anything I could have possibly dreamed of... Second only to our being at the Orange Bowl when the Sooners won the National Championship in 2000.

Again, thanks to everyone for the congrats and well wishes! What a day! The official celebration begins at Raymond James Stadium tomorrow evening. For those in Tampa Bay, the stadium parking opens at 6:00 p.m. with the team expected to arrive about 9 p.m. Hope to see ya'll there!
posted at 11:00 PM | link--it | mail it | (20) shout it

Defense. Wins. Championships!
Who's our favorite player? Mr. Derrick Brooks! More to come soon. Now if you'll excuse us, we have some bubbly to pop open... WE'RE SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS, BABY!
posted at 10:14 PM | link--it | mail it | (23) shout it

Are you ready for some football?
It's Super Bowl Sunday -- and my love of the Bucs even made it on this week's Call For Help! Let's get it on... Good luck, Chey! And special thanks go out to callforhelpcentral.com for the video clip! (Just for the record, Tampa Bay won that CFH video game 27-10.)
posted at 01:36 AM | link--it | mail it | (20) shout it

I'm Super...thanks for asking
FOXsports.com has an interesting list of Super Bowl facts. Some include:

  • Nine of the ten most-watched television programs of all time are Super Bowls.
  • People eat more food on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year other than Thanksgiving.
  • Super Bowl weekend is the slowest weekend of the year for weddings.
  • Last year, a 61-year-old lawyer from Chicago turned down an 18-day, all-expenses paid around-the-world trip for two, estimated at $18,000, in favor of two tickets to Super Bowl XXXVI.
  • Sales of antacid increase 20 percent the day after Super Bowl Sunday.

  • The top activities men will be doing during this year's Super Bowl are...

    Eating/snacking, 82 percent
    Watching the ads, 60 percent
    Yelling at the TV screen, 52 percent
    Hanging out with the guys, 46 percent
    Drinking beer, 44 percent
    Swearing or cursing, 39 percent
    Betting on the game, 26 percent

    Just men though? They obviously haven't been to a game shown in our house! Oh yeah, they have facts about avocados, too. Can't forget those... "Forty million pounds of avocados will be eaten during this year's Super Bowl festivities at home and in restaurants, mostly in the form of guacamole. That's enough dip to cover Qualcomm Stadium's football field, end zone to end zone, over five feet deep."

    UPDATE: Sounds like some people took "we're going to the Super Bowl" here to mean we're (as in me and Todd) going to the Super Bowl -- and not we're (as in Tampa Bay). Oops. Unless I have some rich uncle about to buy the farm that I don't know about...our feet will be here pacing the ground of Tampa Bay on Super Bowl Sunday. I rather like my right kidney. It seems to come in handy every now and again...
    posted at 12:50 AM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it

    Who you tryin' to get crazy with ese? Don't you know I'm loco?
    I've noticed a lot of smack goin' around accusing Tampa Bay fans of being bandwagoners. Well, I thought I'd scan my football card collection for proof. These cards are mine (not my husband's) and all but one of them were purchased pre-1997 season. You will notice that I have not one, but two different 1993 John Lynch rookie cards in all their orange and white glory -- and a rookie baseball card of his as well. I also have 1995 Brooks and Sapp cards from the Creamsicle days. And my pewter power John Lynch card is the season opener 1999 Topps -- several months before the NFC Championship loss to St. Louis.

    I'm not denying there are bandwagoner fans out there. And guess what -- the Eagles have them, too. But don't question the longevity of my loyalty to my team. I've been here in good times, and bad. Just as I was with the Sooners in the 90s. And I will continue to support them no matter the outcome on Sunday. I think recent events have shown us there's a little more to life than just football though. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Jurevicius family.
    posted at 07:08 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it

    Fire the canons!

    You damn Yanks can say all you want about the Bucs and our so-called "cold weather curse", but this weekend it wouldn't matter if Sunday's kick-off took place in Ray-J or The Vet. It's cold. Damn cold. In the state of Florida. Yep, we're hitting the freezing mark this weekend, and the windchill coming in off the Gulf is almost unbearable. I don't want to hear anyone whining about their current temp of -12° either. You know and I know that 32° in Florida isn't s'posed to happen. So laugh now, but you won't be laughing when it comes time to pay $12 for a gallon of OJ in a couple of months.

    I don't know what's going to go down Sunday. Especially with Philly blanketed in snow right now... If you think that you do though, you haven't been watching the NFL all that long. Any. Given. Sunday. And god knows I've taken enough shit over it already -- so seriously, there's no need for more here. Take it over there. You aren't going to tell me anything I, and every other Bucs fan on the planet, haven't heard 100 times already this week. I swear, you're not that original. No really. If you honestly think I'm going to suddenly turn tail and dislike my team just because in your infinite wisdom you've been able to compile a few stats and analyze them, well then you don't know the meaning of a true fan. It may be that way in your town, but it's not in mine. I've been here since the Creamsicle days in the Big Sombrero. And I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Bandwagoner my ass. Hell, I didn't even like the Eagles when I lived in Philly. Why would that change now?

    It's like I said over at Jen's earlier today -- Chucky doesn't have us believing in one season. He has us believing in our team. And if that means we've gotta believe in seven more months instead, well I can think of a much worse fate. Like, oh say, the next 225 days of golf and NASCAR. Bring. It. On.
    posted at 01:35 AM | link--it | mail it | (16) shout it

    Countin' Flowers on the wall - that don't bother me at all

    Lee Flowers - Official Tampa Tantrum Paper Champion
    posted at 08:30 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it

    I play some bas-ket-ball
    So did anyone catch our #9 Sooners as they defeated #3 UConn 73-63 on ESPN2 tonight? Connecticut was one of the last 3 unbeaten teams. Not anymore. This marks OU's 30th straight win at home.

    A game of note -- the 2003 Bedlam series between OU and OSU kicks off next Monday night in Stillwater. It will be broadcast on ESPN at 9 p.m. EST on January 13th.
    posted at 10:08 PM | link--it | mail it | (9) shout it

    Na na na na - na na na na - hey hey hey, goodbye!

    YES! Ohio State wins, and Miami goes down. 34-game winning streak is snapped, and Bud Wilkinson's Sooner squad's 47-game win streak is just a little bit safer. No sixth ring for the 'Canes just yet. A lot of local victory parties are going to have to be cancelled this weekend, just like when FSU thought they could walk all over us in 2000.

    That said, after those controversial "pass interference" calls in the OTs, maybe when we bitch about Big XII officiating in the future, we'll get a little more sympathy?

    UPDATE: An interesting article at ESPN.com examines the Glenn Sharpe pass interference call in overtime.

    ..."I really thought that game was over," says UM secondary coach Mark Stoops [brother of University of Oklahoma coaches Bob Stoops and Mike Stoops]. "Just like everybody else. And there's not another official in the history of the game that would make that call."

    In the last two years, the Big 12 has issued at least two known letters of apology after games where Porter has made controversial calls.

    Sharpe said he didn't think he interfered. He was only being aggressive. Just like Stoops instructed him to do. "We were blitzing," Stoops explained. "I didn't want them to catch a little slant or a little hitch. I told 'em to get in the receiver's face because there's not an official that's gonna make that call...

    Do you think Miami should have been called on pass-interference?

    Not that I'm complaining of the outcome, because quite honestly it benefits my Sooners for seasons to come. But I've seen the replay a million times on television now and I just don't see it. The game of football is physical, and I quote Mark Stoops: "If you're gonna let us play, well, let us play."
    posted at 12:21 AM | link--it | mail it | (25) shout it

    The grapes of wrath make bitter whines
    34-14 you pompous son of a bitch. For the record, most of the jokes you cracked come out of the likes of Stillwater grads and residents -- not the ones from Norman. But I guess easier to assume that all Washingtonians wear flannel, are strung out on heroin, listen to Pearl Jam and sip on Starbucks -- now isn't it? Once again I ask, with feeling -- "got seven"? Didn't. Think. So.

    Inviting Oklahoma is OK after all
    By John Blanchette
    Spokane (Wash.) Spokesman-Review

    All right, I've reconsidered.

    Sure, at first I hated what the BCS did to the Rose Bowl. I hated that the Big Ten/ Pac-10 marriage had been annulled, that the University of Oklahoma would be Washington State's opponent instead of Iowa or Ohio State. I hated that all the starchy tradition of the Rose Bowl had been sullied by inviting the Joad family to Pasadena.

    Upon further review, never mind.

    OK is OK by me.

    I didn't come around until the other day when I discovered that the great state of Oklahoma -- the bustling city of Wilson, OK, to be precise -- is the proud home of the Chuck Norris Museum.

    The Chuck . . . Norris . . . Museum.

    So it's not the Louvre or the Smithsonian. You try to capture the culture that is out there to be captured, and in Oklahoma, apparently, it's the culture of Chuck, one of our most beloved and accomplished Hollywood thespians. Once upon a time, his brother, director Aaron Norris, paid tribute to Chuck by saying, "You never have to worry about him overacting."

    Unlike, say, a privet hedge.

    Of course, Chuck Norris and his museum ("and over here is rare footage of Chuck parting his lips to speak") doesn't have anything to do with the Rose Bowl, except as a way to bash Oklahoma.

    And that's what was wrong with the old traditional Rose Bowl. Before, the local favorite -- be it WSU or Washington -- would get matched against a team of stolid sons of the Midwest. They were pretty much impervious to insult. Oh, you might be able to poke fun at Bo Schembechler's Rose Bowl record at Michigan, or make a crack about the game being the biggest event for Iowans next to the squash judging at the state fair.

    But it was hard to put your soul into it. You don't just rip on the heart of America.

    This year is different. This year, it's Oklahoma in the Rose Bowl, and for some reason, Oklahoma virtually begs you to make fun of it. Fans of rival schools in the Big 12 have been doing it for years.

    Q: What do they call duct tape in Oklahoma?

    A: Chrome!

    See? It's easy. You try it.

    Look, I'm not suggesting we're all that much superior up here in Washington. We have our foibles, our flaws, our unsightly flat spaces. But we just don't wear that "Kick Me" sign quite as comfortably as Oklahoma does.

    And some of it's a bad rap, I'm sure. Take the land. Those of us who had to read "The Grapes of Wrath" in Mr. Whalen's English class and then watch Henry Fonda in the movie will never get those dismal Dust Bowl images out of our heads, but Oklahoma has some spectacular scenery, or so I'm told. Like the Arbuckle Mountains.

    Well, they're called mountains in Oklahoma. You know them as curbs.

    Think I'm kidding? The highest point in Oklahoma isn't even a mountain. It's a mesa. It comes up to Rainier's kneecaps.

    Besides that, it's in New Mexico.

    Not that Oklahomans can do anything about the topography. You play the land you're dealt.

    But they can pick their leaders, and for the past eight years they've picked as their governor, Frank Keating, whose favorite food is foot. When ex- Seahawks pass catcher Steve Largent abandoned his Tulsa- district Congressional seat to run for the office Keating must give up next year, the governor's wife, Cathy, entered the runoff -- and lost magnificently.

    "My hometown, to do this, was very dumb," Keating complained after the election.

    This is the same man who once greeted Charlton McIlwain at a Chamber of Commerce forum by saying, "Are you here to serve us?"

    McIlwain was the only black man in the room.

    Possibly this would be a good time for Gary Locke to press his bets.

    Ah, but that's politics, and I got scolded the other day for soiling the sports page with politics.

    What about sports?

    Well, sure, the Sooners are plenty good at most every game they try, though they had to steal away WSU's coach, Kelvin Sampson, to get good at basketball again. A couple years ago, Bob Stoops steered them to a national championship in football -- the first since Barry Switzer was playing warden in Norman.

    And you can't talk Sooners without talking Barrah.

    Barrah won three national titles in his day, which is why he was once moved to proclaim, "Other people and teams across the country dream about winning. We invented it."

    Of course, the Sooners also invented probation, Brian Bosworth, steroid rage, college cocaine rings, and arming players with Uzis. Eventually, they invented appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated in an orange prison jumpsuit and handcuffs.

    If you're scoring at home.

    Barrah continued his stellar record of building good citizens with the Dallas Cowboys and OU eventually regained its sanity -- which reminds me: Why is it the University of Oklahoma, but also OU?

    Back in Barrah's day, they called it IOU.

    I've left out a lot of stuff here. The airport in Oklahoma City is, of course, named after Will Rogers, Oklahoma's No. 1 native son. That he died in a plane crash apparently didn't register on the local irony meter.

    Oklahoma gave us the parking meter and the McDonald's drive-thru window. There's an oil well on the grounds of the state capitol.

    Beaver, Okla., is the Cow Chip Throwing Capital of the World. It gave us Pretty Boy Floyd and Belle Starr. Yes, yes, it gave us plenty of dignitaries and heroes, too -- Walter Cronkite, Mickey Mantle, Geronimo, Woody Guthrie.

    But it also gave us Hanson. Hanson.

    And now it threatens to turn the Rose Bowl into the Dust Bowl.

    Well, fine by me. It's just too bad the game isn't in Norman instead of Pasadena.

    I can't believe I'm going to miss the Chuck Norris Museum.

    (Thanks to Robbie for passing this along, originally published in the Daily Oklahoman.)
    posted at 06:11 PM | link--it | mail it | (14) shout it

    The grandaddy of 'em all wears crimson 'n' cream

    OU wins the 2003 Rose Bowl!

    How many times did the Sooners have to hear, "You don't deserve to be here." Or, "But you're not a Pac 10 or Big 10 team..." Everything from piss and vinegar out of the likes of Keith Jackson, to smug superiority from coaches, players and reporters. Like the Big XII just isn't good enough to take the field with the other conferences. Very reminiscent of the press coverage before the 2000 title game with FSU. Hell, the Washington State coaching staff even tried to block our Schooner mascot from making the trip to Pasadena.

    Well guess what? Not only did the Sooners prove they deserved to be in the Rose Bowl today, they did it with an exclamation point. Do you think OU's players and coaching staff took it personally? Hell yeah they did. Final score? OU - 34. Washington State - 14. OU's first-ever Rose Bowl trophy (from our first-ever Rose Bowl appearance) will be making its trip home to the Switzer Center in Norman, Oklahoma.

    Is our 2002-03 football season really over? Congrats to the 2002-03 Sooner squad, all of the exiting seniors, and Rose Bowl MVP Nate Hybl. It's time to fire up the basketball calendar. March Madness will be here before ya' know it!

    P.S. Hey Keith Jackson... Got seven?
    posted at 08:30 PM | link--it | mail it | (30) shout it

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