/b/

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Police.gif b-b-b-/b/reaking news! /b/ after being left to decay on the coroner's table for three years has finally been declared dead from cancer!


   
 
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
 


 
 

—Someone forgotten

   
 
/b/ has changed.

it's no longer about original content, epic GETs, and win it's an endless series of reposts, perpetuated by newfags and trolls fail - and its consumption of /b/, has become an unstoppable cancer. /b/ has changed.
 


 
 

—Apparent Reality


<center>/b/

These are the leaders of Anonymous


Don't click here.
srs. Trust us, just this once.
Check out the TJC instead!
The rules of /b/.
A typical anon
A prime example of a /b/tard; the face of a pedophilic stalker. Run little Timmy! Run!!!
Your average /b/ thread
Add 50% more hate to your home game!
Hairbrush.
/b/ = /b/oycock
It's really this bad for some.
Like /b/ told me to.
Typical thread on today's post-100M GET /b/.
Typical Tits or GTFO encounter on /b/.
WTF is /B/?
A summary of /b/ in regards to this article.

While /b/ is technically a sub-board of many chan imageboards, it is more commonly known as the asshole of the Internets. According to Faux News, they are also YouTube Favicon.png a secret underground network of evil hackers on steroids. It is populated by pedophiles, furries, otaku, basement dwellers, wapanese, Azns, WoWfags, otherkin, Trent Reznor, probably Will Smith, and recently gentlemen. Also, God has been known to lurk /b/ for hopes of landing some hawt Baby Fuck. All these fags are called /b/tards. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany.

Everyone who was finally permabanned from Something Awful, found Ogrish too tame or are trying to latch onto the webwhore in-crowd call /b/ home. Pedophiles who have crawled out from not4chan come here to post and collect kiddie porn, but they usually do not last long, as posting CP is a permabannable offense. If you're having trouble finding a proxy for your trolling activities that's not banned from 4chan, it's because the pedos have already gotten them all permabanned by posting CP. But then, why would you want to; trolling /b/ is like pissing into an ocean of piss. They usually retreat to 420chan or 12chan after that, as posting CP is common practice on those sites' /b/s.

Posting shitting dick nipples in /b/, however, is NOT a bannable offense and is welcomed with open arms and fapping hands.

/b/'s cracked-out mods frequently sticky their own posts, attempting to create their own memes, sometimes spamming stickies until the entire board is just a place to view the mods' stickies. Whiny /b/tards have been begging Doug to unban snacks ever since (even though it was constant whining to moot that got him removed in the first place).

If a celebrity dies, plz to be going directly to /b/ for the traditional eulogizing of the still warm - perhaps still alive - body.

However when you arrive at /b/ you will no longer see gore threads or any other threads /b/ had used to see about 4 years ago. You will get porn threads all over your face since /b/ is now occupied with cancer and of course moralfags ruining every lulz that has to be had. The reason they leech off of /b/ is because they are retarded enough to go to /b/ and look for porn instead of going to a nigger pornsite.

The biggest concern about /b/ is now camwhores. Those niggers have grown rapidly since kids like pr0n a lot and mysteriously get affected by those things dark magic and end up bumping threads and giving camwhores attention.

/b/ does not like you unless you show some tits.

Since the furry population has started raising again, /b/ gets filled with furry threads. Waste of hum-furry rebels decided to go against furday and started making furthreads and injecting /b/ with a small dose of cancer. Thus making furday cease to exist (however /b/ gets raped with old fashionable furthreads on furdays but this time its anal).

What is /b/?[edit]

Typical reaction to copypasta.
Commonly found on /b/ is the dino sex topic.
Initial reaction upon entering /b/ (clicking on any pics involves barfing).
/b/ knows women!
This is inaccurate: There are no women on the internet.
Wow. Just... wow.
  • Warning you will fucking rage at the Newfaggotry Below.

/b/ (pronounced slash 'b' slash) is defined by Urban Dictionary as...

  • /b/ is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.
  • /b/ is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.
  • /b/ is the stranger your parents warned you not to talk to.
  • /b/ is the one who wrote your number on the mall's bathroom wall.
  • /b/ is a failing student who makes passes at his young, attractive English teacher.
  • /b/ is the guy loitering on Park Ave, the one that's always trying to sell you something.
  • /b/ is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.
  • /b/ is the one who first introduced you to Goatse.
  • /b/ is a hot incest dream that you'll try to forget for days.
  • /b/ is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything.
  • /b/ is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.
  • /b/ is that bat-shit crazy old man who sits on his porch and threatens to shoot the children that step on his lawn.
  • /b/ is the best friend that tags along for your first date and cock-blocks throughout the night. The decent girl you're trying to bag walks out on the date.
  • /b/ laughs and takes you home when you're drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who /b/ called for you.
  • /b/ is the kid that likes Inuyasha.
  • /b/ is the reason you have to introduce yourself to every parent in the neighbourhood.
  • /b/ is the guy who buys those mini binoculars at a sophisticated play and uses them to stare at the actresses boobs.
  • /b/ is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.
  • /b/ is the 10 second delay in which you contemplate walking back into the room you just accidentally saw your friends naked mom in, and asking her if you could be of assistance.
  • /b/ is the guy who fapped to Tubgirl.
  • /b/ is your penis that betrays you when he turns into a raging hard on, right as you are called to stand up in front of the class.
  • /b/ is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the adviser
  • /b/ is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.
  • /b/ is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.
  • /b/ is why we can't have nice things.
  • /b/ is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn't matter if she's drunk.
  • /b/ is the friend who constantly talks about your mom's rack.
  • /b/ is the strung out drunk guy dancing and playing air guitar alone to the music at an outdoor concert.
  • /b/ is the only one who understands what the hell you are saying.
  • /b/ is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his ass, and only that.
  • /b/ is the uncle who has touched you several times.
  • /b/ is the homeless person at the bus stop who wraps his arm around you and starts a conversation.
  • /b/ is still recovering in the hospital after trying something he saw in a hentai.
  • /b/ is the guy that puts an "I love dead babies" banner on the side of his car and drives past the protesters outside of clinics.
  • /b/ is the friend who, when you're in the city and you see a homeless person, he pulls what looks like a beer bottle out and gives it to the bum - but the bottle really has a mixture of semen and curdled ovaltine in it.
  • /b/ thinks he is smarter than you, but is often wrong.
  • /b/ is the friend who makes a Tupac joke when his friend's father got shot in the eye, and laughs at the joke.
  • /b/tards are witty, intelligent, well adjusted members of society with Honda civics, a mortgage, cats that they don't light on fire, and successful careers as lawyers, documentarians, and public officials. They have two lovely children and beautiful wives ∵ that they met sitting next to on a flight to Fiji.
  • /b/ is the attractive girl you met over the internet that makes you want to fap, until he sends you nude pictures, to your dismay.
  • /b/ is the guy who sticks his dick in the vacuum cleaner.
  • /b/ is the night before the day after the night before.
  • /b/ is the guy who leaves the pube on the seat.
  • /b/ is the better side of You on a good day.
  • /b/ is wonderful.

HAHAHA Disregard all of that, I suck cocks The past is now the past. /b/ is now the worst, least lulzy board on 4chan, flooded by normalfags, underageb&, newfags and other cancerous individuals who completely misunderstood the point and humour of /b/, ironically making it everything other than random. As popularity rose, the lulz went downhill and the former demographic of /b/ got overran. Re-enforcing the banhammer could easily solve this, but everybody knows that W.T. Snacks is gone for good.

moot doesn't exactly seemed to be concerned about this, as he already sailed off to Mexico with his jewgold. The newfags currently lurking /b/ still claim that it is "so random and cool lol xd", however the very few oldfags knew that this is far from truth

However, nobody should ever listen to Urban Dictionary because they are a bunch of elitist, self-important niggers who like to make up words. The best way of describing /b/ is by comparing to ED, as follows...


   
 
/b/ is sorta like a blind drunk downs syndrome child wielding a chainsaw, whereas ED is like a omglazer guided lulbomb.
 

 
 

—DLB


   
 

 

 
 

Captain Jean-luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

The only definitive thing that can be summed up about /b/, is that each and every single one of the users is an asshole, and damn proud of it.

Neo-conservative cop-loving suburban white kids are now the majority of /b/.

FAQ: Difference between /b/ and /pol/[edit]

Some wonder what is the difference between these boards as they share similar ideals but these helpful screenshots will sum it up for you.

What is pol and b.png

Self-Description[edit]

Freud contemplates
Ah, childhood, how I miss thee...
An average /b/tard will experience all of these.
typical b/tard

You have just entered the very heart, soul and life force of the internet. This is a place beyond sanity; wild and untamed. There is nothing new here. "New" content on 4chan is not found; it is created from old material. Every interesting, offensive, shocking or debate-inspiring topic you've seen elsewhere has been posted here, ad infinitum. We are the reason for "not safe for work". We are the Anonymous Army. Cross us and you will fail. Anonymous is everywhere. You depend on us every day. We bag your groceries, we fix your computers. Anonymous sees you before you see him. Sitting at desks around the world right now is a nameless, faceless, unforgiving mafia composed of the best of the best, the worst of the worst and most people in between. We are 4channers. The people devoid of any type of soul or conscience; we are products of cynicism and apathy, and we spread those very sentiments daily. Anonymous is the hardened war veteran of the Internet. He does not forgive, nor forget. We have seen things that defy explanations. We have heard stories that would make any God-fearing, law-abiding citizen empty their stomach where they stand. We have experienced them multiple times and eagerly await their return. 4chan is a place of sheer genius and utter stupidity, and there is often a thin line dividing the two. Here you will see a state of mind that exists in most human beings, but is rarely, if ever, shown. This is a place where taboos do not exist. 4chan cannot simply be regarded as a simple website or image-board. It is so much more than code. 4chan is alive and constantly changing. This is a subculture, a self-governing sect of the world, rich in history and foundation. To become a 4chan user is to speak a different language, and to leave behind any methods of conventional thinking you once knew. There are things here that you will not understand and things you never will understand. If you cannot accept this, then you should leave now, because there is no turning back.

This is 4chan, this is /b/.

Likely Threads[edit]

Here's a list of 16 threads you are likely to see upon coming to /b/, with no less than 5 per page. No particular order.

Test it out for yourself! It's fun!


  • Spam threads, easy to spot by the strange links and the canned "OP you are so awesome" responses that bump the thread until it gets b&
  • Traps thread (Because /b/ can't ever get enough cocks)
  • Omegle chat (So you can spout as many memes as possible to other retards who do the same thing back)
  • A controversial current affair (with extra trollage)
  • A random nation/area report-in (so you can gather in one big stupid clusterfuck)
  • Porn. Often with encouragements to drop 'fap folder'. Who keeps a fucking 'fap-folder?' Why, retards, of course!
  • Fap roulette...spice up your love life.
  • A Great Debate Thread (Where Eurotards flamebattle Americunts about having their dicks mutilated at birth, videogames are discussed very srsly, Americans try to defend their beloved country from jealous insults, and trolls troll trolls while pretending to be religious
  • A meet and fuck thread because /b/tards are only willing to fuck other /b/tards because most of them are social rejects anyway. Basement dwellers post their city and find somebody else who lives close to them to hang out with, most of the time pretending they're attractive, when the pictures they post are probably ones gathered from their facebook friends. A shitty new board has been created exclusively for these kinds of cancerous threads called /soc/.

All of these threads are scattered with large numbers of posts where you call each other newfag for pretty much any reason, or none at all. Because to be an oldfag is a massive achievement, and you don't want just any old newfag coming along not knowing about stuff on the internet.


   
 
C'MON, WE'RE /b/, WE'RE THE MOST DEPRAVED, DEGENERATE, PSYCHOPATHIC, SOCIOPATHIC, MALADJUSTED, MALCONTENT, MISANTHROPIC, MISOGYNOSTIC, ANTISOCIAL, AMORAL AND GENERALLY FUCKED-UP PIECES OF SHIT TO EVER WALK THE INTERNETS, GORE WILL CURE THE NEWFAG CANCER THAT'S KILLING /b/

WE'VE SEEN AUTOPSIES, NEUROFIBROMATOSIS PATIENTS, HARLEQUIN FETUSES, THE BME PAIN OLYMPICS, GOATSE, TUBGIRL, LEMONPARTY, DISEMBOWLED SMALL ANIMALS, THE LEFTOVERS OF A HEMICORPRECTOMY, CATS GETTING BEHEADED AND CRUSHED, MULTIPLE GUNSHOT FATALITIES, AXE WOUNDS, KNIFE CUTS, NECROTIZING INFECTIONS, TRAUMATIC AMPUTATIONS, ACCIDENTAL DECAPITATIONS, FALL VICTIMS, AWAKE CRANIECTOMIES, DEGLOVOED LIMBS, DISSOLVING TISSUE, FACE EATING TUMORS, FACIAL DYSMORPIA SUFFERERS, FACES DEFORMED BY ACCIDENTS, CONJOINED TWINS, DISEASED GENITALS, MUTILATED GERBILS, AND EVERY OTHER TYPE OF MAJOR SURGERY, GOREY INJURY AND DISEASE OF ANY LIVING BEING IN THE BOOK, AND WE LAUGHED IT ALL OFF WHILE EATING PIZZA AND FAPPING
 


 
 

Skunkworks !e1337Hykks on the finer points of Gore Theards

DAS TROLLPARADIES[edit]

Dammit, Moot!

Old /b/ Day[edit]

Moar at Old /b/ Day!

In America[edit]

IN AMERICA day screenshot

On /b/ on 7/4/08, to commemorate America's Independence Day, all sentences that do not contain the word America in them have IN AMERICA! added to the end of them IN AMERICA! The only exception is saying penis tons of times in a row.

9/10/08 NEVAR FORGET[edit]

ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH

Friday the 13th - LOLSCRIPTS[edit]

On June 13th, 2008, 4chan came one step closer to the final solution. A script kiddie decided to post a script for others to follow its instructions and save it in to Notepad. When the script runs, it posts the guide in a thread on /b/. The final result was a barrage of lulz and resulted in the newfags that fell for it and didn't know how to stop it getting b&. This cycle would reoccur several times thereafter, ensuring that half the posts on /b/ at any given time are spam.

9 Debbie Lane Brockport New York[edit]

On the morning of August 29, nearly every post on 4chan's /b/ was "hey guys, add my AIM: Moderntopia, also come Molotov my house at 9 Debbie Lane, Brockport, New York - who else has a race car bed? I do!!" or "I am spamming your shitty website and there's nothing you can do about it faggots, if you're man enough come fucking get me - 9 Debbie Lane, Brockport, New York"

All there is to say is LOL SKIDDIES.


   
 
maybe the nearest /b/tard should go round there, and ask if they know anyone who's enough of a cunt to spam their address on a message board.

I'd guess there's a 90% chance they know exactly who's doing it, and an equal chance they have access to a gun, or a heavy blunt object.
 


 
 

Second Civil War[edit]

It has been noted that the Second Civil War of the U.S. was flamantly discussed by /b/ users starting on Friday October 10th, 2008 and continues to be debated on from time to time in new threads.

/b/ Day 2008[edit]

On October 26, 2008, a bunch of Script kiddies caused /b/ to crash. Refugees began flooding /x/, /d/, /v/ and /n/, bringing the cancer with them. The /k/ommandos began a counter-offensive, striking the /b/tards out of /x/. /d/ was left to rot. Refugees from the affected boards streamed into /a/. As of the 27th, the cancer is once again contained to the smoking shithole known as /b/.

The 100M Fail[edit]

Most of Sunday 30 Nov. was spent by /b/tards trying and epically failing to "Get" 100,000,000 (100M). Moot and the oldfags, as usual, moaned about how failboating /b/ had become, and how GETs now meant nothing. This was promptly ignored. 100M ended up being the largest failget in history. It was taken by the furries, closely followed by the britfags.

The Day /b/ Died[edit]

KAYLA > KORAX

See also: Operation Antfuck & RAIDCHAN.

On December 13, 2008 /b/ came to a grinding halt after hundreds of newfags deserted the sinking ship as it was getting walloped with a tsunami of spam chemo from RAIDCHAN including the familiar KORAX > YOU and some KAYLA > YOU for good measure. For a few glorious hours, /b/ was almost as good as it never was; /b/tards didn't have to bump their own posts and threads didn't 404 in 30 seconds.

The Third Civil War, 10/11 January '09[edit]

On the 10 January, every other thread on /b/ was something to do with Boxxy. Newfags were hailing her as 'The Queen Of /b/. Oldfags Bawwed, and declared war on the boxxy supporters. Due to the mods failing to take action against the cancerspam it was decided that an hero by DDoS was the only effective option. Despite over 9,000 camwhores joining in the campaign against Boxxy by providing an epic number of tits, DDoS was called for at 00:00 GMT, 11 January '09. Shortly after mods blocked all posts to the site claiming img.4chan.org down for maintenance, posting across all boards is temporarily disabled before the entire site 404'd, when actually Anonymous pwn'd the servers. Following the Civil War, saying "Boxxy" causes insta-ban.

Jan10maintain.PNG

/b/ DDOS's itself[edit]

The true face of the attacker.

From 5th May - 12th May 2009, /b/ and some other boards grinded to a halt and then went offline. For the many basement dwellers who live their entire lives, dicks pressed against palms, lurking on 4chan, this was an unthinkable disaster.

At first, it was thought 711chan was the culprit, but it was found later on that they were not behind the attack. moot confirmed that he made a mistake by blaming them. Moot rectified this, and on May 5th, the attack had been confined to the .zip and .img sections. As of May 7th, .img remained under attack. The refugees had invaded and occupied /x/, /gif/, /an/, and /d/, the residents of which wanted them the fuck out.

No plan for vengeance had been hatched at this point. And as for the stalwart defenders of the boards, the /k/ommandos, they were temporarily out of commission, and had decided not to try to clear up the shit that was filling /x/. Until the attacks on all areas had ended, /b/ and some other boards would have continued to remain offline indefinitely.

Ddoschan.jpg

In the end, it turned out the culprits for the 4-5th day offline period were a bunch of morons who blindly downloaded files from links spammed around /b/. This nasty piece of work installed a Trojan that raped the shit out of the available bandwith, effectively DDoS'ing /b/ and the other affected boards without the infected users even fucking realizing it. Since the 12th May, /b/ is back up. Well, it is until the next cloud of retards who will download shit from /b/ without a second thought, and then proceed to gutfuck the forums.

One thing can be for sure: Newfags are to blame.

The Twilight Appreciation Station, 1-2 June '09[edit]

Rules 1&2? Never heard of them. The rules only apply to /b/, and are stupid anyway.

On June 1, moot in his wisdom renamed /b/ the Twilight Appreciation Station in a blatant attempt to get Randall Munroe to notice him. Some lulz were produced by Twilight fans discussing the merits of the film/novel and thereby causing the peanut gallery to respond with their usual wit and insight. As with most of moot's hilarious pranks, the Twilight Appreciation Station produced a rare moment of universal agreement between /b/tards both old and new.

/b/ DDOS's itself Part 2 : A Clockwork Orange[edit]

One of the pictures used for the spamming.

On the 5th of July, 2009 some cunts from the Blackhatworld.com forum, or moot, started spamming a rainbow of images of the main character from A Clockwork Orange, each a different color than the last. This continued for a few hours, and then eventually slowed down. This started up again later on in the day with a new image, and then stopped once more. The Spammaggedon then started AGAIN with a new image on the 6th, and seemed to continue most of the day. It then stopped at 8:30 PM EST. On the 7th, all zip boards were being attacked with the same image from the 6th. Many ziptards flocked to /b/ asking what the fuck was going on.

Many /b/tards rejoiced at the stopping of the spam, but some missed it. Some saw it as chemo, and discussed it even after it had ended (it would have been fucking impossible to have discussed it meanwhile anyway). Some gave the shit names, such as Orangesunday, RainbowAlex, but Fucking Spam was decided. As soon as they missed it, it started again, as well as on the zip boards (except for /ck/ for some reason) its all over fucking /b/ again. After the shit began again 4chan remained inaccessible for a great deal of the 7th.

A day later, new shit came to light suggesting the recent episode of ass fucking of 4chans bandwith, and as a result the shutting down of our beloved /b/, was due to a Trojan disguised as spam that numerous halfwitted faggots had downloaded. Again. Then, on July 10, 4chan and /b/ were back up and fully functional. All systems are go. Not any more /b/ is down once again. 18/7/09: The clockwork orange pics were posted so many times that they became a meme. Protip: Repost them as many times as you can. Everyone will congratulate you on posting a hilarious meme and you will be welcomed into the folds of old faggotry with open arms.

See: A Clockwork Orange

/b/ Implodes on Delicious caek[edit]

See also 4chan fgt hat day.

On October 1st, 2009, /b/ had an orgasm of over 9,000 which resulted in a strange kind of meltdown. /b/ was forced to flee to /x/ as they always do when /b/ is down, as well as other faggy boards. With newfags unsure of how to fap and /b/tards trolling other boards, there were much lulz to be had. Ultimately /b/ was revived, and the lesser boards would rejoice. It is said that the birthday hats were the cause of the meltdown, but who the fuck cares. A while after it was fixed, it broke again, leaving /b/ frozen and /b/tards flooding the lesser boards again. A few hours later, all boards on img.4chan.org became unavailable, most likely because of the doings of Anontalk.

/b/ZZZZZZZZZ day - 6/15/10[edit]

On June 15th, moot decided rename /b/ to /b/ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, and to pierce all of our ears with the sweet sound of the Vuvuzela, also known as the nigger horn. A sound file played that said, "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?", then proceeded to play the fucking flat B that the nigger horn makes. As of now, it has not been removed. It's gone, thank god.

To stop the faggotry, in Chrome, turn off everything in Options-Under the Hood-Content Settings, and in Safari, disable Plug-Ins under Security in Prefs HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. Get AdBlock and block derp.swf

GMA Week 7/20/10[edit]

B-GMA2.png

Since Jessi Slaughter and her hick parents being on GMA, M00t thought it would be a great idea to dress /b/ up for such an occasion including the GMA theme looping as a .sfw in the background, many a newfag became confused with the constant looping while oldfags relaxed with the safety of AdBlock, Firefox or Opera.

But wait... Operation /b/ipolar was enacted, causing a horrible mixture of lulz and chaos, which spilled across some of 4chan.

And then... RAEP! One of the worst spambot attacks in history meant that a thread lasted a whole 19 (Nineteen) seconds before it was removed. Even /b/tards couldn't stand this, and oldfags, newfags, and summerfags all evacuated in a mass diaspora. 4chan's /c/, /v/, /vp/tr/, and /r9k/ were partially taken over, while /x/ received its WORST RAID EVAR. With /x/ as the de facto /b/, and only a few /b/tards still in /b/, anarchy, lulz, and horror continued throughout 4chan. Ended in the evening, all was well, but raids against the sources of the bots commenced.

The Day /b/ Died Again (CAPTCHA wars) (28/07/2010)[edit]

On this particular day, M00t decided to place a verification CAPTCHA (for the lulz) to EVERY SINLGE GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING POST. some shit went down and now all hell's broken lose as all threads have closed and only one post remains ALL POST AND THREADS HAVE GONE!(oh noez!) It's only a matter of time before butthurt /b/ makes temporary camp in /x/. Is this the last of /b/? GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE

.HTML of the last thread before /b/ met it's bitter end. Unfortunately chan thread watch didn't save any pictures. http://www.megaupload.com/?d=203G169D

Pretty much ignore everything about this though, M00t is just doing the same thing he's done at least 100 times before.

/b/ has re-appeared again....we were so close

HTML DOODZ of the last thread http://www.mediafire.com/?dg50zekjipugczy

So where did the Oldfags go?[edit]

It is confirmed that many of /b/'s oldfags left and went to neighbouring boards after they detected the slow decent into FAIL. Some of these boards are /tg/, /k/ and /x/ which are near impossible to troll on, You will either be ignored or saged instantly. Most of these boards also have nazi moderators now which makes it even harder as any content thats not related to the board gets instantly Banhammered.

/b/'s Official Anthem[edit]

It’s a rare condition, this day and age, To read any good posts on the 4chan /b/ page. Lolz and memes of the grandest kind, Some oldfags say it’s even harder to find. Well then there must be some OC too Inside these cancerous threads

Cause all I see is a tower of memes Real lolz burstin’ out of every screen. As days go by, we’re gonna fill our /b/ with lolziness. The newfags may cry, We’re gonna smother the cancer with ragefulness.

When days go by, there’s lolz for you, lolz for me, For cool stories an opportunity. As days go by, It’s the bigger lol of the legiony.

9/25/10 DICKS EVERYWHERE[edit]

11/30/10 PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI[edit]

DUB MOTHERFUCKING STEP>

PPPPPP U U DDD DDD IIIIIII P P U U D D D D I P P U U D D D D I PPPPPP U U D D D D I P U U D D D D I P UUUUUU DDD DDD IIIIIII


PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI

12/28/10 MOOT IS OLEV[edit]

In the early hours of the morning on December 28th, moot once again went completely batshit insane.

/b/tards furiously f5ing their favorite imageboard suddenly found a new header claiming that "MOOT IS OLEV OLEV IS MOOT" and "where is your god now -or- write moolev on your body!!!!". While some /b/tards where confused about this header, Most immediately flipped shit, because "Olev" was the spammer who had plagued the camwhore cancer threads with around 100 lines of "WRITE OLEV ON TITS".

Even though moot had successfully trolled the ugly camwhores, he proceded to shift into MAXIMUM OVERTROLL

The color scheme of /b/ was switched to the much lulz eye-burning red and yellow. If this wasn't hilarious enough, the song Cotton-Eye Joe began to play on repeat. Cries of "OH GOD MY EYES" and "why moot why" could be heard around the world.

brb, ddos[edit]

Moot's faggotry was fairly short-lived however, when the whole of 4chan joined the ranks of MasterCard, Visa and Paypal etc. and ground to a halt from a DDoS attack. It is back as of 11pm GMT, 28/12/2010, though may be running slowly. Some moralfag skiddie wanker named th3j35t3r claimed responsibility for the attack, though he's probably talking shit as there's no way he could take down 4chan on his own. Stupid fuck.

UPDATE: It was later figured by /b/'s finest that the site was taken offline to perform chemo on the cancer (and also for moot's own lulz).

Since moot made the comment about the site being DDoSed, it has made some news sites wonder if /b/ is still the unstoppable force it was once thought to be.

>>300000000 GET DDOS[edit]

Right before the 300000000 GET the site went down again. Either moot has gone into ultra troll mode, or some moralfag got real butthurt over some /b/ shit. Either way faggots everywhere are raging.

1/17/11 - The Day of Darkness[edit]

So moot has decided to be a total fuckhead once again, and has totally lobotomized the asshole of the internet by:

  • making the title /b/lack
  • Making a insanely shitty black song which is just a terribad remix of eye of the tiger.
  • The entire screen is fucking black like niggers.
  • you can't fucking post shit.

I don't know what the fuck moot is thinking but this is one helluva way to lose traffic to 7chan or some other shitty *chan

Butthurt faggot

Everything's back to normal, with a notice that some boards were removed. And the XXX filter has disappeared.

1/31/11 ***WARNING***[edit]

On the 31 of January of this year m00t plans to lead all of his over 9000 dildo spammers on to AE. apparently they don't like us.. WHERE EVER YOU ARE ADMINS-just beware

5/1/11 AMERICA! FUCK YEAH![edit]

on the first of May, Osama bin Laden was declared dead. moot responded by changing the name of the board to "AMERICA FUCK YEAH!" and embedding YouTube Favicon.png this godawful song in it

5/9/11 The Most Electrifying Imageboard in Forum Entertainment![edit]

WORDFILTERS ARE BACK.

Also, fuck ponies steve jobs and the ponynewt gingrichfagcandy-ass.

6/18/11 Old /b/. Again.[edit]

Just when /b/ started to think they could browse in relative peace, save the crying mexican boy tied up in the corner, Missingno started another funny joke - this time playing the Metal Gear Solid 4 theme music (Whining arab shit) and changing the header to :

"/b/ has changed.
it's no longer about original content, epic GETs, and win
it's an endless series of reposts, perpetuated by newfags and trolls
fail - and its consumption of /b/, has become an unstoppable cancer.
/b/ has changed."

The irony of the "Endless series of reposts" line will not be lost on seasoned /b/tards

7/2/11 Yotsuba Image Board[edit]

Yotsuba Image Board.png

It appears that the great Lord Missingno has taken it upon itself to delete fucking everything. More information when someone that isn't retarded adds more information. It's back.

11/4/11[edit]

4th November 2011.png

The Great Shit Shift of 2012[edit]

Things were getting worse and worse for /b/. But then, out of the bitching and shitposting, moot stated that he was open for site suggestions and board ideas. This was obviously the worst idea in the world, as within hours he had thousands of emails and shitty ideas. He says he has several board ideas and immediate to-dos. But this is just the beginning.

Along with opening the floodgates of shit, moot also removed the "Name field", bringing back FORCED_ANON. Also, a feature known as DISPLAY_ID was added, which basically forces every poster to be a tripfag. There are other small changes too. Those are the little sprinkles of vomit on the big shit sunday. This era shall be known as The Great Shit Shift of 2012. Things are changing in the land of 4chan. The clouds of an epic shitstorm are rolling in over the horizon. The ground is quaking, and the gods are whispering amongst themselves. The end is nigh my brothers. Prepare yourselves for battle!

Oh yeah, and getting banned no longer prohibits access to the boards, only posting. So that's great too.

2013[edit]

What 4chan's Global Rule 3 has been relegated to being

As of 2013, due to constant repetitive shitposting, endless faggotry and the mods allowing that shit, /b/ is ironically the least random board on 4chan, and is officially dead from cancer. Good night sweet prince.

B - the (not so)"random" board of 4chan .jpg


The RHULchan Raid of 2014[edit]

After several months of stagnation and having been killed by the cancer that had consumed it, /b/ finally did something even remotely lulworthy.

'Twas the 7th of April in the year of our lord, 2014, which also happened to be the day that 4chan introduced .webm support throughout the website, thus filling /b/ with crisp 720p mutilation videos and the like, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Through its thick veil of shit, a single spec of light passed through. Some unthinking anon started a thread imploring the euphoric residents of /b/ to raid a work-safe Chan created by the Royal Holloway, University of London. With a campus like theirs, you'd assume that they would be running their chan on stable and secure servers, with constant moderation, right? Sorry for getting your hopes up, faggot, but that is far from the truth.
Thefirstavenger.jpg

The thread started out slow. The first 20 minutes of its life comprised of bumps, ID: Heaven (Mootykins brought back IDs, samefagging is a thing of the past. The best thing that Jew's done in years) being a cunt, (no change there), about 5 anons saying that they'd post CP, another 5 asking how to raid it, (thereby proving themselves to be, contrary to popular belief, newfags), and mostly complaints about how slow the site actually is.

After this minor delay, shit began to pick up. Anons came to realize that the website has no log and no moderation, and the games were underway. Immediately, some twat blew /b/'s cover, though this inconvenience quickly diverted by pinning all the blame on 9fag. The peaceful inhabitants of RHULchan's /q/ board fell for the ruse. Within minutes, /b/ had entirely absorbed /q/ into itself, thus rendering /q/ a replica of /b/ albeit slower. You would expect that /q/ would simply be filled with neo-/b/ shitposts, right? Wrong. In a bizarre turn of events, /q/ was more akin to the /b/ of yesteryear. CP, le epic may-mays, gore... /q/ had it all, and the mods of RHULchan (who were probably sleeping or studying like faggots, in the wise words of one anon) couldn't do a thing about it. The raid got to the point that /b/tards begin taking it upon themselves to elect a queen of RHUL, much like Boxxy on /b/. One anon sent an email to the moderator of the imageboard, asking anons to give him one word each. This was the end result:
Thefinalmessage.jpg
Life was good, until some /b/astard did an SQL injection and took RHULchan offline. As of the 8th of April, 2014, the website is still down. We have no word on its fate as of yet, but all we know is that /b/ redeemed itself for a short period of time. Oh yeah, and then /b/ started flooding the RHUL forums with their usual witty banter, but nothing special really happened. RHUL still haven't responded.
Checkmy2gaiz.jpg
Fantastic.jpg
Funtimes.jpg
Gaytiem.jpg
Bstillgotitinthem.jpg
Beautifuldillon.jpg

How to Troll[edit]

  • Outright ignore a /b/tard when they try to troll, shock, or offend you
  • Let teens everywhere know what a great hangout /b/ is
  • Claim Anonymous is and always has been about punishing evil people
  • Overuse old memes that no one finds funny anymore ever found funny to show how savvy you are desu
  • Forced memes are also hilarious
  • Don't forget about Zippocat
  • Over 9000
  • ???
  • Profit

/b/ Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Nudes for /b/[edit]

4chan - hurt[edit]

I checked on /b/ today
To see if I still feel
I see its filled with gay
What the fuck is their deal

The gays have but one hole
The traps are now a thing
Try to close the gay away
But I remember everything

What has /b/ become?
My sweetest friend
The oldfags that I knew
Went away in the end

And you can check what you want
My 4chan of shit
It will let you down
It will make you cringe

I close my browser now
Upon my dirty screen
Full of jizz and cum
I cannot make clean

I remember a great time
When WT snacks was there
Now he's somewhere else
He is still not here

And you can check what you want
My 4chan of shit
It will let you down
It will make you cringe

If I were but a mod
On my favorite chan
I would ban all the gay
I would find a way

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]


Featured article May 21st, 2018
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