Virtual Youtubers
The Virtual Youtubers (or VTubers) fad is the last trend of digital media that has arrived from Japan. A new generation of virtual entertainers that has captured the hearts of Japanophiles around the world with innovative technology and high quality content.
Remember when some funny anon in /pol/ said that Trump will make anime real? Well, towards the end of 2016, something weird started to appear into JewTube community, something that changed how content is created there forever. Finally, you are able to interact with you loved animu waifu, she can answer to your tweets and she can play your favorite videogames too!
Welcome to the world of Virtual Youtubers (バーチャルYouTuber)!
Contents
Why Is This a Thing?[edit]
The bane of Youtube's existence (and by extension, Twitch's) are camwhores. Despite many decent and talented people trying to use an array of gimmicks to attract viewers and sponsorship, the fastest way to attract potential subscriptions for many youtubers is by to be female and flaunt their bodies. Nonetheless, when people gets fed up of their GOTIS and recognize they'll never see their actual exposed tits (much less anything else), they usually drink the commie kool-aid, dye their hair and start to do activism against the Toxic Masculinity of the Alt-Right. Why someone that is sane could watch and invest time in such trainwrecks (apart from enjoying the lulz)?
This is why many losers had taken the route of escapism and found in animu girls, the reassurance they will never find on 3DPD, because in real life, they know that roasties can just put them in jail by writing a tweet with the hashtag #MeToo.
On the other hand, The weeb market is sinking beyond salvation. It was in this moment of crisis that Japanese companies discovered (albeit too late) the success of vocaloids and the dumbasses that make anthropomorphic art of that software. One of the failures in business suits realized this and proposed "What if we make a Hatsune Miku's lookalike, but doing the same things PewDiePie does?"
And so, a solution for two of the most urgent contemporary problems were finally found.
Are you a Japanese woman? Do you have talent in voice acting and singing but unable to get a job? Are you a sad and insecure tiny dick herbivore man who's craving of attention and pity? Are you comfortable with weirdos making fanart of your character, depicting it in an array of revolting sexual fetishes? Are you okay with sad neets throwing tantrums and sending you death threats on your twitter account because of anything they consider it is a transgression?
Worry no more! Now You can feel what it is to be famous, without showing your face! Get your money swindled by opportunistic entertainment middlemen and be forever under the shadow of your character, just like Mari Iijima!
Here are the list of these Japanese nobodies who are making the rest of the youtube nobodies to tremble in fear.
Let's get started with the one that enabled the virulence of this disease.
Ai Kizuna[edit]
Her name Kizuna Ai (キズナアイ) means Love Connection, but it has a double meaning because Ai is the acronym of Artificial Intelligence.
Kizuna's gimmick is to pretend she is the First A.I. to become a "Virtual Youtuber". Unlike Tay, there are no chances to turn her into a proud member of the Hitlerjugend. Her videos present an array of interesting topics, such as her failures to be decent software, her lesbian delusions, her "cute" Engrish, her crippling depression, the fact that she's trapped in a white space without able to interact with other beings and mainly, her schemes to feed her greediness.
Albeit not being the first one to do this, she is the most successful and well known among the normalfags. Ai has more than one million subscribers in her channel, and she is the source of the memes done by Kym and Reddit.
In her initial run, Ai was banned by jewtube when she said that her whore clothes are in fact a hologram, so she's technically naked. That was caught by the phony algorithms of Google and her account was flagged. Her ban was lifted and she continued to prey on weebs with her fake bisexuality. Her strategies are the same ones used by a normal camwhore (livestreams, begging of likes, asking for subscriptions), but she doesn't need to pose naked as a resort for money and likes. Just an ASMR video and talking like a retard is enough. With such pathetic tricks, she was able to build an army of cronies who translate all of her videos for free.
The Japs in business suits recognized in her the spokeswoman they needed to promote their crap and that's why 85% of Kizuna's videos are her shilling crappy mobile games that only can be played in Japan. She even advertised a shitty anime on Japanese TV, she has her own LINE stamps and a TV Show. The desperation of weebs was evident when they bought paper bags with her face during the Comiket, prompting the promises of real plastic crap with her shape.
She later created a gaming channel where you can see her failing miserably at playing horror games and trying to curse. The only explanation of why could she have half million subscribers despite being such a shitty gamer is because of her "being" a kawaii anime character. Her MMD model is available, so feel free of creating low quality porn of her.
Media[edit]
- The video that made her famous worldwide, particularly the moment at 18:36
Previous Video | Next Video
3DPD eternally btfo how will they ever recover?
The copycats[edit]
Once a fad took off, It's inevitable that competition and imitators appear. In this case each one more idiotic than the previous one. As with any Coca-cola, there will be a Pepsi, and with any AVGN, there will be a Nostalgia Critic. So these are the counterfeit Kizuna Ai.
Luna |
• | Akari/Moemi |
• | Shiro |
• | Nekomasu |
• | Baacharu |
• | YUA |
• | Nijisanji |
• | Misc |
Media Gallery of virtual failure[edit]
- And despite she mocked you, you still subscribe to her, do you?
Previous Video | Next Video
Rule 34[edit]
How To Troll fans of Virtual Youtubers[edit]
As with any subset of weebs, the baacharufags are very protective of their waifus and susceptible to any kind of negative content. So they vocally express their discomfort about it in the form of paranoid tantrums, full of conspiratorial nonsense. One of the easiest ways to get multiple responses is by using one of the following tactics:
- Ask them if they really believe AI and CG are advanced enough to post livestreams playing videogames.
- Ask them to translate Japanese material with "Translate weebs"
- Ask them when Funimation is going to release the official dub of Kizuna Ai videos.
- Tell them that the best way to know about the virtual youtubers is from Kotaku, Anime News Network, Rocket News 24, Sankaku Complex, Lost Pause, Mother's Basement and The Anime Man.
- Ask them when the first Black American (or Latin American) Virtual Youtuber is going to be released.
- Ask when BaraKaren is going to release a new video.
- State that Ami Yamato is the best of the virtual youtubers because she is a functional person and speak a language that almost 70% of the world can understand.
- Declare A.I. Channel videos as the Neon Genesis Evangelion of this generation.
- State that Kizuna Ai is the only Virtual Youtuber that matters and she's the PewDiePie of her category.
- State the above, but instead declare YUA as the queen of Virtual Youtubers.
- State the above, but instead declare Tsukino Mito as the main reason of why the VTubers decided to pursue that career, and also their main inspiration.
- Pose the premise that virtual youtubers don't care about overseas fandom and the only moment they are important is when they throw money at them in the Superchat.
- Pose the theory that Moemi is not a Virtual Youtuber, because she doesn't have a 3D model, that's why nobody makes fanart of her and thus, Yomemi is superior in all aspects. Bonus extra if you deliberately mistake Moemi with Yomemi. Try to do the same by using Nijisanji Vtubers instead of Moemi.
- State that the Virtual Youtubers are nothing more that a gimmick for failed Japanese artists to kickstart their career using pity and crocodile tears.
- Ask them when Eilene is going to deliver the story episodes of Mirai Akari or the 3D Model of Moemi.
- Ask them why Eilene videos are not already reported for copyright infringement and plagiarism.
- Engage on debates that going nowhere about What is a Virtual Youtuber. Expect being accused of being either a Kotaku writer, a poster from /v/ or the writer of this ED article.
- Compare Tokino Sora to YUA, and state it will be a matter of time when Sora will be exposed as a company trying to get pity yens from lonely men.
- Create questions in Akinator targeting the failures of Virtual Youtubers.
- Request porn parodies of Vtubers on Iwara. Also regard those videos as superior than their real content.
- Make subtitles of the virtual youtubers videos with lots of grammatical errors and Engrish and then ask for approval, Then claim there were "vandalized" by SEAs (South East Asians).
- Inquire about why are they so overprotective of CG characters or 2D avatars voiced by failed Japanese voice actors, if by considering the roles reversed, they would not care about them.
- Stop referring to fans of Shiro and Sora by their official names (Shirogumi and Soratomo) and instead refer to them as Shirofags and Sorafags.
- Ask why the Virtual YouTubers of Nijisanji referred to themselves with such stupid moniker as "Virtual Livers"
- Inquire about Mira Pink's lewds or the rest of Natsumi Moe's vocaroos roleplaying as a loli
- Post porn of Tokino Sora, particularly Yuri porn of her with Mirai Akari.
- Ask when Mirai Akari is going to post more bestiality porn.
- Shitpost on the virtual youtuber threads with only posting about Eilene.
- Shitpost on the virtual youtuber threads with only posting in Spanish (Anons of /jp/ are /pol/ hypocrites that demand posts written in 100% Perfect American English despite not speaking Japanese.)
- Tell them that pure Virtual Youtuber they love so much, is not a middle schooler or even a woman at all, but a scam to swindle their money. Prove that by posting R34 of them of that moment when their faces were exposed on a livestream.
- Ask Jabberwocky Malice on Twitter about her past as Venusangelic and particularly about her mother Margaret and her ex-husband Manaki.
- Ask Malice when Margaret is going to debut as a vtuber as well.
- Denounce the rampant corporatism of the virtual youtubers market and try to use the elitist mannerisms of /mu/ and Anthony Fantano at the moment of deriding vtubers endorsed by Dwango Kadokawa, Nijisanji, upd8, Hololive and Duo/Entum. State you're only interested on "genuine Vtubers" and how the Vtubers with endorsements are nothing less but in name JAV actresses.
- Send them this article. This applies particularly to /jp/. They discovered an earlier draft of this article and they are deeply offended and hurt about it. As usual, they're acting in a defensive and passive-aggressive way and because of their Constructive criticism, this article was improved. Thanks for the Streisand Effect, /jp/!
See Also[edit]
- YouTube
- /jp/ — This article (and its notoriety) was not possible without them
- Waifu
- Findom
- Dying Alone
- Love Shy
- Incel
- Weeaboo
External Links[edit]
Note: Google and YouTube will give you relevant results if you want to find videos about your favorite Virtual Youtubers. Remember to use terms like "バーチャルYoutuber", "Baacharu", "baachaaru" "VTuber" or directly the name of the character you're looking for.
- virtual-youtuber.userlocal.jp — An informative ranking about your favorite and new Virtual youtubers
- The virtual youtubers Wiki — This ED article has more information that all of that wiki. (unless you are an obsessive-compulsive autist who wants a Comprehensive List of Female VTubers)
- ecchi.iwara.tv - Mediocre MMD animated porn of your favorite Virtual Youtubers.
- Threads on 4chan's /jp/ — Remember to always tell them that you arrived there after reading this ED article
- r/virtualyoutubers — Chances are that you will be sent to that place after telling /jp/ that you arrived there after reading this ED article
- The infamous article that alerted normalfags about this phenomena
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