Joseph8276
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The Beasts charges were dropped on Feburary 06 2018. In other words,assburgers got him off the hook. |
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Joseph8276 aka The Beast (born 1991) is an adult aspergian swag warrior from Sydney, Nova Scotia in the motherland of Canada. He is an unfortunate example of the bullshit cover up conspiracy known as Asperger's Syndrome. But he was mostly known for his Neck beard like behavior and notorious bitching of swag and how girls should lower their standards, dump their boyfriends, and date him because like many other lonely bastards, he's a Nice guy.
He would also be considered as one of the first Fat male activists and like many Retards of the Fat Acceptance Movement has forced his views on many and expects women to accept him and his body constructed of processed gravy mix and pizza burgers. His hat of choice was the snap back because no fedora was capable of handling the levels of autism that made his head so damn big.
He is now part of many An Heroes and through the support of his family and friends makes videos from beyond the grave through lip dubbing, voice acting, animations, and posted time stamps to clarify that he is not dead and that all of the trolls who ever picked on him will pay.
Contents
Dances with swag[edit]
Joseph8276 got his start on youtube making fatty tantrums on swag and how girls should stop dating douche bags, date the nice guy, and get married IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!! But as many basement dwellers or possibly the very person who's reading this article, has never had a girlfriend. Yes, you're not alone because this sorry bastard has joined your ranks but you might have a slight chance of obtaining that Girlfriend you've heard stories about. Just wear clothing that's consistent with the time you're living in, have good hygiene, and clean the Doritos dust off your face and you'll be fine. But I digress.
Swaggy and the beast[edit]
Swaggy McHambeast, after gorging on some Burger King and 2-liter Pepsi's, decided to make several youtube videos. He goes on to bore the masses with talking about the fact that he's not a swag fag and that wearing a snap back doesn't constitute to him being a total faggot (which he is). Another set of videos that unfortunately exist were for a group called the Anti-swag corporation, a group that only consisted of himself, so he could make more shitty rants.
Unfortunate words that came out of his mouth:
| —Words of a land whale. | ||
| —The autism is high in this one. | ||
High levels of faggotry coming your way![edit]
I may look like a swag fag but I'm not[edit]
Criscoe kid goes on a pointless rant on how wearing certain articles of clothing doesn't make you a swag fag. In today's society where a certain style pertains to a certain stereotype, people are going to assume that one is of that stereotype. He most certainly matches that criteria in which most fatties are in denial of everything.
The I love swag club[edit]
During a grease and Pepsi filled rage, Sir Joseph of swag had a eureka moment and decided to make an organization (Facebook group) called the anti swag corporation. The only noted member was himself because just as every other person does, they always ditch the fatty and leave him hanging.
The early 2000s' were definitely better times for music[edit]
This time he goes on about how music was so much better in the early 2000-2007 and then music hit a decline. Just like any other nostalgia fag, he's fixated on the past and can't accept that he lives a shitty life and can never experience those times of childhood obesity and eating paint chips ever again.
Old school/New school who gives a shit?[edit]
No need to explain. He pretty much repeats the same shit from the early 2000s' video.
The word "Hype"[edit]
Joseph decides to claim back a word that was first invented by the black youth of the 90's. But then he goes off topic to explain how certain artists are from the 90's and AGAIN mentions that snapbacks aren't for swag fags. Your life expectancy might shorten after viewing this video so consult your doctor before viewing such faggotry.
Gallery[edit]
Music[edit]
Joseph has changed his personality along with this "taste in music'. He went from a fat emo Ham planet to a full blown autistic GANGSTA who listens to early 2000's rap and hip hop (Like there's anything special about the early 2000's). One of the many artists that he hates with a hammy passion is lil wayne despite owning a CD from his back catalog. Any type of music that isn't his taste is considered shit or lack of a better word "Gay". But wait! Joe apparently has so called "Singing skills" and can make you a video singing one of those classic top 40 songs. Here are a few videos of the fat pig squealing his mating call....
TAKE IT AWAY,YOU FAT FUCK![edit]
Joseph and girls[edit]
As mentioned before, he's never had a girlfriend. But despite his crippling loneliness he made several videos on how girls are the problem and that they should date him. As every other fatty does, he stresses and forces the fact that looks don't matter and that personality is what really matters. Every human being knows that there has to be a level of attraction between two people in order to fuck, but because this self important prick doesn't get how our bodies work and the logic of dating, he feels entitled to an attractive girlfriend despite his grotesque body odor and Cheeto fingers. He goes on to contradict himself multiple times and to slam other dudes because he can't get pussy. He's also familiar with the online dating scene and has made multiple accounts. His standards are like may other lonely losers and due to the amount of butt hurt received he blames women for not dating him and accepting him for his "Personality".
His dating profiles![edit]
Dick.netSite appears to be down- Datehookup
(archive) Requires an account to view - RateMyBody (archive)
- Mingle2 (archive)
- Matchdoctor (archive)
AdultMatchdoctor (archive) Redirects to Matchdoctor- Loveawake.com (archive)
ImageFap.comBALEETED (but can still be seen below)
You need me,HOT LADIES!!![edit]
It's believed that this video is the first of Swaggie-sans first attempts in E-begging for a girlfriend. He sings in a grotesque pitch that would kill any four year old and the occupants that surround him and rambles about swag and displays many symptoms of nice guy syndrome.
I AM LOYAL![edit]
A commentary was done on the swag warrior and showcases a lot of his so-called qualities. He stresses and I mean STRESSES that he is loyal and that if he were in a club and saw a girl dancing with a "douchebag" that he'd kidnap her and descend to his lair of solitude.
Quotes![edit]
| —By stuffing you in the trunk of his car. | ||
| —You're nothing but a self important retard. | ||
| —He really said this. | ||
| —You deserve a kick in the ass. | ||
| —Pan handling for pussy. | ||
| —Has nothing to do with dating. | ||
| —But states in other videos that he does. | ||
| —Failing hard. | ||
Take notes,fellas![edit]
Dating tips![edit]
In this video,Joe decides to give dating tips and how to seduce terrify the ladies and that going against the laws of attraction is a must. But a lot of the time he contradicts his own statements and repeats everything he says as always in bling rocker Joe fashion.
DATE ME!!![edit]
As self delusion sets in, he makes another video on girls and how they need to stop being picky and lower their standards. The lulz ensues when he's spotted with rainbow colored wrist warmers, snap back, a necklace from the 99 cent machine, and tarp. Wait a minute that's a shirt?......
But I'm a nice guy[edit]
In an attempt to sex up the ladies that want absolutely nothing to do with him, he puts Crisco and probably his tears in his hair to appear more manlier when he looks like a total bag of shit. He goes on to bring up the question "Where have all the nice guys gone?". The answer? They're too busy making youtube videos and getting some while he's drinking Pepsi and stalking girls on facebook. The amounts of autism are so high that you might want to consider re-thinking your life after viewing this video.
Relationships and what girls lack[edit]
The patron saint of /r/niceguys rants on the things that he doesn't like about relationships,what girls lack,and how girls need to stop going out with bad guys. After repeating the same statements over and over and over like an annoying four year old,Joseph mentions that he want's a hot sexy girlfriend with a personality. Every person with a functioning brain knows that hot sexy girls go out with hot sexy guys,not dumb fat asses wearing dorito encrusted armor while playing WWE 2K15.
Attack of the badboys![edit]
Basically a bunch of shit rambling about how confident and assertive people are douchebags.
| —Cheetoh stink and entitlement reeks from this one | ||
| —Nice sales pitch,fat ass | ||
| —Cries in the corner out of jealousy | ||
| —Until you go into diabetic shock | ||
| —I'm tired of entitled fat asses whining about everything. | ||
Desperation and the beast[edit]
As we all know,the beast has had moments of Autistic nudity as well as stupidity. But one thing our fellow ham beast has revealed is insanely desperate to the point of bitching and crying about his problems just to get a quicky and his icky sticky. So what else would any failure in life do than to take all of that to craigslist and back page. Ads were placed by the beast requesting NSA fun and hot attractive females. But little did porky know is that being a massive lolcow...attracts certain kinds of individuals ;). Buying the bait and being a total moron,below are some results of his total lack of awareness and 3 inch penis.
His "facebook girlfriend"[edit]
REJOICE WITH SWAG!!! Joseph accepted a friend request and chatted with a "girl" by the name Kaleigh McCarthy. Things escalated and they became a Facebook couple. Joe announced in yet ANOTHER fucking video that he and "Kaleigh are together and that if any trolls decides to mess with them that they would be bombarded with comments and stuff." Look out for his typing, fellas. Eventually she asked him to send her a dick pic and the end result was not very swaggy at all. She revealed herself as one of the trolls and leaked the pic for the masses to point and laugh at. Thus, The Passion of The Doxing begins...
Previous Video | Next Video
His "Craigslist Girlfriend"[edit]
FATTY IS AT IT AGAIN! The Swaglord placed personal ads on craigslist and backpage (like only a faggot would use these places) to start is quest for Pussy love. As soon as the ads were put up,local nigger insomniacs devised a plan to feed the beast. Another fucking trap was set and he proceeded to expose his turtle necked penis along with multiple gut shots and the honory ass shot inspired by fellow aspie,chris chan. At the end,asking his new found love to meet her at a tim hortons. The next day,he professed his love to "maria" and that he'd make a great BF unlike those faggot chads who'd treat her like shit and proceeded to beg for the sex. She said no and cried like a feminist hearing about trumps election win.Oh yeah he got duped on skype too!
If you like,you can see their little correspondences through these links!
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Joseph&Mariapt1 The exchange - Joseph&Mariapt2 The king of swag becomes king of the crybabies
His "Backpage Girlfriend"[edit]
As soon as craigslist failed to fulfill his needs,he comtinued his lovequest on backpage. Hoping to get this 3 incher wet and sticky,instead he was blessed by the grace of a girl named gina,who wanted to tame the beast. In beast fashion,he doesn't hesitate to send nudes but when she refuses to meet with him due to her "dying father' needing to be attended to,the beast lost it and cursed her with fury.
- Joseph&GinaPT1 Get down beasty
- Joseph&Gina PT2 No one denies the beast of his sex!
Gallery of Nudes[edit]
Beastin Da kids![edit]
On August 04,Joseph Strickland was charged with producing and possessing child pornography from October 2014 to January 2015. When asked whether the size of the children mattered, he declined to comment. The Beast is scheduled in court on Aug 31st to enter pleas.
THE BEAST IS FREE[edit]
On feburary 06 2018,Beast king of Nova Scotia had all charges dropped with no expectation of a successful prosecution.In other words,Biggy Fatass was let go due to assburgers. When asked by the press about what hes going to do when he got home,he replied "I'm gonna buy a laptop,join a million dating sites and find a hot girlfriend,because SIZE DOESN'T MATTER. He waddled away into the sunset,stopping to eat at tim hortons minutes later. Not guilty
See Also[edit]
External Links[edit]
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Joseph8276 is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
| Joseph8276 is part of a series on Dying Alone
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| Featured article August 13th & 14th, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Tauriq Moosa |
Joseph8276 | Succeeded by Sargon of Akkad |
