Penny Arcade
Penny Arcade, also known as Piggy Baldcade, is up there with some of the shittiest shit that's ever been shat.
It is a direct result of the basement-dwellers responsible feeding on the santorum of funny - the disgusting bottom slush of anti-lulz that noone in their right minds wouldn't bother to draw a comic of.
The arrogance and sheer ignorance required to subject the internets to this kind of mental vomit can be explained by the decaying filth being the ugly bastard son of witty comments on a gaming blog and the fact that it's wenga drawn by unfunny geeks.
As the alleged funny in the comics is either ignored or not seen by mundanes, a specific subject has been chosen by the authors to furthermore point out the said lulz resulting in plenty of massive fail.
Penny Arcade requires you to read gaming news to understand the shit joke. "OMG TYCHO KILLED GABE FOR THE PAC MAN WATCH! SO ORIGINAL! I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT IN AN EARLIER COMIC!"
Penny Arcade expects us to respect them because they have made as many as three funny comics over the course of five years and they give money to some charity or something about kids playing video games. Well, maybe they should be happy they don't have to play tripe like FF7 and GTA3.
Contents
Art[edit]
The art started out as something that could have been drawn by a 12 year old autistic kid wearing a football helmet, but soon evolved into the type of art that could be drawn by a 13 year old autistic kid wearing a bike helmet.
Assault on the Ears[edit]
Thanks to the widespread freedom that podcasting has offered every douche with unwarranted self importance, we can now have the excitement of PA's creators jacking each other off and reading boring gaming news with their chymo voices.
The Creators[edit]
Not since Megatokyo or fursonas have the creators of a comic so overcompensated their looks. Keep in mind that in the beginning they were never supposed to be representations of Bald and Pig-like. Only through fans assuming they were did they become the sick and twisted fantasies of the two.
Tycho is portrayed as a handsome grammar Nazi. IRL he is bald and sports B-cup moobs.
Gabe is portrayed as a dashing smart-ass who uses a cardboard tube as a sword. IRL he looks like an unshowered Jew scarecrow with GRIDS.
As of August 8, Tycho has admitted to now wearing dentures, most likely due to scurvy. Apparently he never learned to drink a bit of orange juice in addition to his diet of Cheetos and Mountain Dew.
Both have given birth to children, whom they regularly abuse and then take photographic evidence.
They're actually pretty decent guys when compared to the other people in the Webcomic Industry. But when the people you're being compared to are the likes of Tim Buckley and Fred-chan you don't really have to try very hard.
/v/ Meme[edit]
Penny Arcade spawned a damn fucking horrible meme "Why I am so bald". It simply starred Tycho being bald.
"Phorums"[edit]
The site's forums have a long history, dating back to the original message board (termed the "phorum") users, or phags. The board is famous for its many 500 internal server errors, jail-rape, a disastrous social experiment where people posted in an unregulated board exactly as you would expect them to (cocks)and a webpocalypse brought about by calling someone's wife fat.
PAX[edit]
Every summer, thousands of Penny Arcade fgts go to Seattle and merge to become one massive gibbering and greasy example of how to fail at life. They call this PAX, or the Pussy Avoidance Expo. This con, having replaced the presently minuscule E3, is now, unfortunately, the biggest gaming con in the known universe. The largest attractions at PAX include "dry-rape the two girls who accidentally walked in the building," the Tycho/Gabe IRL slash performance (on-stage and televised), and the mountains of pillows that, by the end of the weekend, are covered in gamer juices and smell worse than a bucket of curdled semen.
The only thing to do if your friends force you into going to this closeted furry gangbang is to spam the DS pictochat rooms with hand-drawn Goatse and Longcat. DESU spam and declaring the pictochat to be closed due to AIDS is also popular. Lulz can be had watching the miserable 90-pound nerds discussing their Samus Aran rape fantasies threaten to "close YOUR pool" over a hand-held game device, as the spam floods freely and anonymously.
Penny Arcade: Furry Sympathizers[edit]
When the Furocaust comes, Penny Arcade will no doubt try to safe-harbor the cockroaches. First line's the proof. And the comic.
Food Controversy[edit]
In October a controversial comic was posted in which Baldy spoke out against a new brand of snack for gamers. The comic can be viewed here: http://penny-arcade.com/images/2008/20081003.jpg
This was widely disregarded since its obvious from photographic evidence that he will eat anything.
Raped by dickwolves![edit]
On August 11, 2010 Penny Arcade made a strip in which an imaginary person was raped imaginarily by a mythological creature whose every limb was an erect phallus. While the punchline of the comic was not actually rape, but rather that MMORPG player are self-serving dicks that does not care about the horrible plight of NPC characters, it still caused a mild shitstorm, as a bunch of feminist bloggers, spearheaded by this whale, jumped on the opportunity to cry foul, and accused Bald and Piggy of spreading "rape culture". The whole thing later escalated when a followup comic was released and Gabe compared rape victims to fruit. See: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2010/08/survivors-are-so-sensitive.html
Soon after they didn't pay much attention to the issue and even created merchandise off it. This sparked an all out drama bomb of destruction across the internet. In the given light of the scenario the creators of PA looked even worse every time they tried to joke more on the resulting situation. Eventually they caved in and took the merchandise down. Fans were still pissed at them despite the take down and more drama ensued. The drama that has ensued from this entire event has even forced companies and speakers to back out of PAX East 2011. Mike didn't seem to give a shit since they were still getting paid and proudly proclaim that he would wear his shitty shirt during the convention.
While this was possibly the lulzist Penny Arcade have been since the Jack Thompson incident, they would go on to prove that they were indeed still unfunny faggots, as troll's remorse started kicking in when they received death threats against themselves and their families. Since then, both Tycho and Gabe have tried hard to hush the whole thing down, and pretend that it never happened.
A time line documenting the entire issue.
Gallery[edit]
At least they know ninjas!
Originality abounds.
Straightest comic evar
Love at long last.
Shitty bald shop
Another shitty bald shop
A third shitty bald shop
A fourth shitty bald shop
The typical Penny Arcade special.
At least he can take a joke.
Another Penny Arcade nobody UNDERSTANDS but the creators themselves.
Penny Arcade is so not gay.
Sneak into PAX
See also[edit]
External links[edit]
- Penny Arcade
- Tuppence Arcade pisstake
- A bettar pisstake by Jeff K
- John Smedley and Penny Arcade with ping pong balls. Really.
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Penny Arcade is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Penny Arcade is part of a series on Visit the Sites Portal for complete coverage. |
