Dragon
Dragons have been known all over the world as amazing creatures.
In Europe, dragons have all the gold and bitches they want. They spend their free time hoarding treasure, burninating the countryside, slaughtering the shit out of anything not a dragon, and generally being awesome.
In Asia dragons are one of the four great animal gods. These mighty immortal creatures swoop down to rain bloody justice down upon the wicked while riding gracefully on the wind. When not going supernatural vigilante on the world, Asian dragons spend their time fighting fucking tigers.
Even the Bible recognizes dragons as badass!
Sadly, all this recognition has seeped into the intertubes, leading to dragons being constantly associated with complete fucking idiots. in a similar manner to the once-noble fedora/trilby, What once was one of the most awesome animals ever it is now overrun by retarded otherkin, angsty internet dwellers and faggoty furfags.
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Dragons in Furry Culture[edit]
Furries noticed how awesome dragons are and, having zero self-confidence and fucktons of ugly, wished they were half as awesome. So, in response, they started to make fail-tastic dragon fursonas.
Inevitably, these "dragons" are....
- Humanoid
- Sexually idealized Mary Sues
- Owned by a basement-dwelling college age fatass
- Loaded with unwarranted self importance
- Godmode constantly
Mix it all together and you get 500 pound hambeasts pretending to be dragons just to make the pain of nobody wanting them go away so they can feel special. Feeling they are better than everyone else, "dragons" like to organize special dragon-only meet-ups, and write articles in which they speak for God to the Christian furry community.
Of course, the Bible doesn't approve of dragon worship at all, and any real Christian (read: NOT A FURRY) knows it.
Revelation 13:4 And they worshiped the dragon which gave power unto the beast.
Translation: Worshiping dragons is the same as worshiping Satan.
Revelation 16:13-14 And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet. For they are the spirits of devils, working miracles, which go forth unto the kings of the earth and of the whole world, to gather them to the battle of that great day of God Almighty.
Translation: Any "dragon" who says she speaks for god is full of shit. They are instead gathering an army for Satan at Armageddon by recruiting believers with false miracles.
Furry Partakers[edit]
- Bad Dragon
- Blackwingdragon
- DracoGuard
- Dragonfan
- Dragonguyver
- Dragonmorph
- Firedarkdragon
- Gothzilla
- LittleCloud
- Sil the Wolfdragon
- Tumbles the Stairdragon
- TwistedDragon
Otherkin Dragons[edit]
At first glance, otherkin dragons and furry dragons are the same. They are both played by quarter ton lardos pretending to be dragons just to make the pain of nobody wanting them go away so they can feel special, you know! However, there are a few important differences.
Otherkin...
- think they are dragons
- Typically play hermaphrodites and use the sie or shi pronoun.
- do not use humanoid dragons
- get even more offended than a furry would if you tell them dragons aren't real
- Typically say they are female dragons trapped in a male human body, and continue to act like an attention whore.
- Are afflicted with mental disorders such as Asperger's Syndrome, BPD, or ADHD which may or may not be medicated.
So, where a furry simply pretends to be a dragon in order to be laid and knows they are actually humans, an otherkin is literally insane and believes they really are a dragon and that dragons are real. They also are even more into bestiality than furries are as they don't bother adding any human traits to their "dragon selves".
Typically, the story is that their dragon form is a female on a far away planet who lives/lives in a perfect dragon body. The dragon got sick and died or is astral projecting in order to continue life in another form. Upon dying, they will get their dragon forms back and go to live in beauty and splendor forever.
Protip: Don't wait; kill yourself so you can become a dragon right now!
A few of the batshit insane[edit]
Dragons in Internet Culture[edit]
Camwhores often acquire tattoos of dragons. These can be placed near private body parts which are accidentally exposed during the taking of the picture. They are also popular for white people who want to look Azn. They Phail.
More important than just having a tattoo of a dragon, however, is telling everyone about the full body dragon tattoo that the camwhore is going to get some day in order to jack all your paper by saying "plz donate" so they can afford to get the tattoo. Congrats, you're looking at their only job skill: begging.
Regular whores like to draw dragon or use dragons in their names in an attempt to sound "cool". Of course, anyone who would fixate so strongly on dragons is a sad loser with no life, so by trying to use dragons to further themselves, they have defeated the purpose.
Special mention: Trogdor[edit]
Trogdor the Burninator was an unfunny flash video at the even more unfunny Homestar Runner. It became an old meme three days after the file debuted but continues to influence the Internets. Many nerds own T-shirts with Trogdor's likeness on them. Because they never leave the house, they tend to take pictures of themselves in the shirt to post to their LiveJournals.
Variants of the word "Burninate" - such as baninated - are a continued aspect of unfunny Internet culture.
A few dragon-tards[edit]
Gallery[edit]
Otherkin attempting to draw their real form.
How furries see dragons
Mechanized dragon rape: furries think of everything!
Typical dragon activity according to furries.
Where it all begins.
Fox dragon
Typical dragon from D&D, poised to attack.
Another typical dragonfag...with feathers? Shit, that's a lot of feathers.
Standard anthro dragon, despite looking so goth that Gene Simmons would tell him to tone it down, its somehow still boring.
How to deal with FYIAD-otherkin.
Slice the Dookie Dragon raping Tyciol.
See Also[edit]
- Dragon Age: Origins
- Dragon Ball AF
- Dragon Ball Z
- Dragon Cave
- Dungeons & Dragons
- Fuck you, I'm a dragon!
- Skyrim
- Spyro the Dragon
- Wales
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