Lonelygirl15
Jessica Rose, also known as "Bree" or "Lonelygirl15" on YouTube is a 19 year old attention whore who realized she would get more attention from pedophiles by claiming to be a homeschooled 16-year-old half sand nigger. She claims to be an actress looking for her big break on the internets but that is obviously just a cover for her pedophile fetish. She also liked golf.
Contents
Lonely Girl Seeks Attention[edit]
In June of 2006, a 19 year old college student and eyebrow enthusiast named Jessica Lee Rose was dismayed to realize that she no longer qualified as "Barely Legal" and was, in fact, an adult. Seeking to rectify the situation, she did what all insecure girls do and bought a webcam. She also signed up for a YouTube account under the name Lonelygirl15.
The videos were blatant cries for help, unlike most camwhores she did not set up an internet wishlist but was satisfied with receiving unlimited attention. Her videos were standard teenage bullshit about her parents not understanding and often featured her geeky sidekick Danielbeast. Oh yeah, and the fact that her family was involved in some secret cult and her secretive-but-not-secretive-enough-to-edit-out shrine to Aleister Crowley.
Jessica, now known as "Bree" or simply "Lonely Girl" became a full blown internet celebrity. Her video blog was covered by major news outlets and, more importantly, she became masturbatory fantasy of pedophiles, geeks, and sick fucks worldwide!
Lonely Girl as Satanic Sacrifice[edit]
Once the intial fame wore off, Bree realized she was not content to simply attract pedophiles and sick fucks but also needed her kinkier fantasies fulfilled. She then posted video blogs detailing her deepest, darkest fantasies - being a virgin sacrifice for a satanic cult! HAHA DISREGARD THAT SHE GOT FUCKED BEFORE THE CEREMONY!
Srsly, she started showing her shrine to Aleister Crowley and described in vague detail how her parents were cult members and that she was going to be the star in a secret secret ceremony!
This ceremony involved such things as, eating shit, solving math problems, giving birth to a demon-god version of her self from the other place, and being punched in the face by Cracky-chan.
The other day, the ghost of Aleister Crowley manifested in her room so that, at the exact moment of orgasm, he could slit the throat of the goat which had been trained to copulate with her. There is a video of this sweet action, but it's currently blocked in the internets tubes.
The really gay thing about this piece of crap is that they try to write a story for it. Something to do with a cult and some british chick with no knockers, and two guys who love t3h cock. The "story" just proves that the creators are stupid Basement-dwellers who cant get laid in a chink whorehouse with a dollar bill.
Lonely Girl Exposed As Desperate Woman[edit]
Of course, any camwhore worth her weight in pedophile semen will eventually be stalked and exposed, and Jessica Rose is no exception. According to this guy his son was the stalker who found her true identity, but if you believe that you'll probably believe that Bree wasn't actually a loser with a Satanist fetish trying to attract sick fucks.
Once her identity became public she parlayed it to IRL fame and used the fact that she's a cute girl to make the world forget she's a total fucking freak who would rather pretend to be a homeschooled satanist than enjoy college life.
JewTube Subscribers[edit]
Due 6 AM EST on 8/14/2007, LonelyGirl15's subscriber count is due to hit at or below 0. This is because it's been discovered that there's a security hole with JewTube that does not increment the subscriber count for every added subscription but WILL decrement on removal. Since lonelygirl15 is one of the most subscribed, it'd be very lulzworthy to eliminate her numbers.
5:46 EST, LonelyGirl15's subscriber count has hit 0 lol.
See Also[edit]
Links[edit]
- Anne Frank version
- Lonelygirl15's Youtube
- Lonelygirl15's Myspace
- A "tribute page" created by a fan. Oh wait. She created it. Lulz the fuck out of her Forum
- Oh noes! Identity Revealed!
- Carmen "House" Electra IS lonelygirl15
- moar news
 |
Lonelygirl15 is part of a series on YouTube. |
[Expand] |
|
A-B • C-D • E-F • G-H • I-J • K-L • M-N • O-P • Q-R • S-T • U-V • W-X • Y-Z • # |
||
