Latarian Milton

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Moar Hoodrat!

At seven years old, Latarian Milton is the world's youngest irl troll. Since his mom was a rock-smoking 16-year-old Sheneequa when he was born, his grandmother has to pick up the pieces and raise him.

Trolling on the Road[edit]

For some guaranteed lulz, he stole his grandmother's SUV, pwn'ed several mailboxes, hit at least 100 other cars and eventually totalled the SUV. He said he was mad at his mom, but he really just wanted to do hoodrat stuff with his friend who smokes with cigarettes 'cause it's fun to do bad things. They can't put him in jail because his manboobs would be titty raeped by Bubba, his future self. You see, if your future self rapes you, it will disrupt the time-space continuum and all existence will collapse into a quantum point inside your asshole. The seven year-old niglet proves that the stereotypes about black people that liberals love to dispute (stealing cars and requiring daily rations of fried chicken to quell their nigtardness) are true.


   
 
I took my grandma car 'cause I got mad at my mom, then I soonly had my friend come in, and he smokes with cigurettes...
 

 
 

—Latarian Milton


   
 
I wanna do it 'cause it's fun...it's fun to do bad things...I wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my friends.
 

 
 

—Latarian Milton


   
 
I WANNA WHIP HIS BEHIND! THAT'S WHAT I WANNA DO RIGHT NOW.
 

 
 

—Latarian's grandmother

It's common knowledge that the term "hoodrat" refers to sex partners you fuck on the hood of your car because they're so fugly that you don't want your housemates knowing what you're willing to put your genitals up against. Good to see that Latarian is at peace with the fact that he's basically undeserving of love and respect.

Trolling in Wal-Mart[edit]

He "soonly" reappeared in the news after he got butthurt when his grandmother wouldn't buy him fried chicken at Wal-Mart. He pwnt his grandmother right there in the store. Much lulz ensued.


   
 
He just started hitting me in front of the whole Wal-Mart, and everyone in there was upset. In my stomach, in my legs--wherever he could reach me, that's where he hit me.
 

 
 

—Latarian's grandmother

In attempt to kill the lulz, the police came to his house and took him to the mental hospital.


   
 
I'm sorry what I did to my grandma truck, and I'm sorry what I did to you people in the hospital. And I love you, and I hope you be impressed.
 

 
 

—Latarian Milton

Trolling on Judge Judy?[edit]

No. After Latarian's mammy yapped about the show requesting that she sue her daughter, the following statement was release:


   
 
Judge Judy does not believe in fostering litigation and if that is what happened, then canceling the case was the only option.
 

 
 

—Pussies from Judge Judy

   
 
She told me to get out of the house and leave, so I picked up the keys and left.
 

 
 

—Latarian, the misunderstood negro youth, tawkin' bout his momma


   
 
She's heard it from everybody but Judge Judy.
 

 
 

—Latarian's grandmother, on her check, I mean child


   
 
I feel pretty bad about it... [I just want to] get a job in the house, and a wife.
 

 
 

—Latarian, whose future wife (re)appears seconds later (2:08), waiting for him to finish.


   
 
I can be a supa star or somethin', and my grandma...
 

 
 

—Latarianigger, who just had his Hollyhood dreams shattered

Latarian on The Boondocks[edit]

Latarian was featured in an episode of The Boondocks where he was packaged as a Demon Child that couldn't die at all. Srsly

Remixes[edit]

To keep the lulz alive, many YouTube made remixes of his misadventures in Palm Beach Gardens, FL.

See Also[edit]

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Latarian Milton is part of a series on Psychology
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