Cid Silverwing
Cid Silverwing (in real-life: Tony Kallesten Johansen) is a furry writer from Norway. His character (furry term: fursona) is a male anthropomorphic red Fox named paladin. Cid, who is bisexual (with a preference to males other faggots), has a fetish for muscle growth. He actually masturbates to muscular furry art, though his biggest problem in his life is to find the secrets of increasing this wonderful feeling so it can last longer in b4 he came buckets. Cid Silverwing also claims to have Asperger's and ADHD and is incredibly conceited, apparently modeling himself after the greats.
Cid now spends all day every day dividing his attention between jacking off over Second Life avatars and screaming at his computer screen at the hordes of trolls he's attracted over the years, having left school due to being so stupid he couldn't even draw a straight line.
Contents
Backstory[edit]
Cid is a furfag by trade and has made quite a name for himself as an angry young atheist and anti-theist. This is one of the reasons he cannot maintain friendships with others, as he often rages at theists. However, this has no bearing when it comes to his vocabulary, as he often labels those who disagree with him as a heretic, a word meaning a person who has committed heresy, and heresy is an introduced change to some system of belief, especially a religion, that conflicts with the previously established canon of that belief. Being a furfag, Cid has no comprehension of the concept of irony, and thus doesn't realize that by being a hateful, deluded, dogmatic (HUR HUR DOUBLE ENTENDRE) and anti-religion fanatic, he has embodied everything regarded as wrong with it in the first place.
| —Cid Silverwing talking about himself in the third person | ||
Sexuality[edit]
As with every well adjusted teenager, Cid has a healthy interest in sexuality. These fantasies usually encompass muscle inflation and gay furry art, to the point where he had to ask whether or not it was normal to shoot a load faster looking at male on male furry art rather than naked women, going a step further and preferring incredibly muscular males. However, Cid also takes a harsh stance on steroids, shunning their use entirely in favor of strength blessing. In addition, Cid fancies himself a macrophile, and in his own words, "is bisexual (with an apparent female preference), is also a huge fan of muscle growth media, in addition to hyper, to the point of exaggeration. He has coined the term "gawdmuzcle" ("godmuscle") which describes hyper muscles with infinite strength and invincibility" (as well as having giant cocks). Oh, and somewhere along the line decided shoving his cock into bricks sounded like his kind of wild weekend. Yes, it seems he has a fetish for drilling shit with his dick.
| — Cid Silverwing, AHAHAHA, OH WOW | ||
Even though he's not quite sure what exactly a cinderblock is.
| —Cid SilverWing, unclear on what a cinderblock is | ||
Cid cannot, for the life of him, figure out why he cannot maintain an healthy relationship with a woman.
Cids wildest fantasies
Like any normal teen
Cid has a understandable interest in growing up
How Cid imagines a penis works.
Cid is very in love with himself.
Typical Sonicfaggotry
Cid knows a thing or two about nuts.
It only gets worse.
Cid's asshole must look like a hallway by now.
Concrete > Vaginas
by a lot, apparently...
Feeling very accomplished.
DMCA Crusader[edit]
Like many furfags, Cid is incapable of taking a joke, and goes on flagging crusades to make sure all unflattering portrayals of him are pulled post haste. Usually though, the videos aren't a violation of any Terms of Service, which, to many, would mean Cid would have to suck it up and deal with being the butt of a joke. However, being the mighty Paladin he is, Cid found a way around such loopholes like "Fair Use" and "completely legal"; by claiming false copyrights on anything featuring his name, face, or likeness. Cid believes that simply making something means it's copyrighted to him and has claimed YouTubes fair use policy is in violation of international law, and as such he could totally sue YouTube should he ever feel compelled to do so. As such, it's encouraged that everyone plaster his likeness everywhere and then counter his bullshit DMCA's.
Relationship with Wolfee Darkfang[edit]
Another incredibly poor choice of supporter for his public image, Wolfee Darkfang befriended Cid anyway. Cid became known primarily for the fact he labeled everyone who disagreed with him and Wolfee as heretic. As such, it can be concluded Cid views Wolfee as a sort of religious icon, if not God incarnate, which, going by modern logic, would actually sum up their relationship perfectly.
Like Darkfang, Cid seems to be as unpopular with other furries as he is with non-furfags. Aside from the obvious, it's assumed Darkfang prefers Cid's company since he shares the same kind of extremist furry mindset, probably more so than even theblackhand2.
Cid Gets Raped[edit]
Despite anal invasion being a life-long dream of Cid's, on July 16th 2009, Cid Silverwing found his dox at the feet of the Patriotic Nigras.
The best part of this was the fact that he had given them to the PN himself.
What happened was that a hard, pipe-hitting nigra had pretended to befriend him.
| —Cid Silverwing, one of his many reactions to being greeted | ||
The next day, they were on personal terms.
[2009/04/16 21:54] ????: hi cid lol, how r u? [2009/04/16 21:55] Cid SilverWing: Yo. Bored [2009/04/16 21:55] ????: really, y? [2009/04/16 21:55] Cid SilverWing: I crave to play GURPS but no one's hosting any games [2009/04/16 21:55] ????: wats gurps [2009/04/16 21:55] Cid SilverWing: Generic Universal RolePlaying System [2009/04/16 21:55] ????: is that like... [2009/04/16 21:55] ????: what is that [2009/04/16 21:55] Cid SilverWing: Think Dungeons & Dragons
I think Cid Silverwing is a pretty cool guy, he plays DnD and isn't afraid of anything. The day after the conversation above, less then 48 hours after he had met this person, the spy convinced Cid that he was going on holiday in Norway. And because Norway is clearly "kickass", he would need a contact in the country to molest him. show him a good time. have jackhammer drill-dick sex with.
| —Cid SilverWing, clearly the greatest fucktard of all time | ||
The spy was later quoted as saying that he "wasn't even expecting that Cid could be that retarded." Needless to say he was proven completely wrong.
[2009/04/16 22:18] Cid SilverWing: Better - Call me when you get here [2009/04/16 22:19] ????: huh [2009/04/16 22:19] Cid SilverWing: Just gimme a call on my cell phone when you get off the airport [2009/04/16 22:19] ????: u hav cell #? [2009/04/16 22:19] Cid SilverWing: Yuzh [2009/04/16 22:19] ????: cool, what is it? [2009/04/16 22:19] Cid SilverWing: When you're inside the country - 45 67 77 51 [2009/04/16 22:19] ????: kay lol, thanks buddy
The nigras and other trolls involved in the operation promptly doxed Cid with max force before ordering him thirty pizzas. The fact that the trolls ordered them all from the same pizza shop reveals how Norway isn't just a shit country, it's a shit country filled with retards as well. And yes, you read that correctly, thirty pizzas. It cost 'up to 5,000 NOK' (Just in case you were wondering, NOK is the term for Norweigan Jewgolds. It translates to roughly 785 US dollars.) And that's as much as a muhfuggen playstation three.
The pizza shop was so delighted that somebody ordered 30 pizzas from them that they prepared them in just under ten minutes.
So after Cid enjoyed attempting to send back the delicious pizzas that were clearly too rich in win spice and epic sauce for him to eat, he decided the best way to deal with this was to call the entire PN newfags and challenge them to come after him harder.
UPDATE, 19/7/09: Cid, in a fit of rage about being trolled the fuck out of by half of furaffinity because he's such a stupid brotherfucker, has deleted his post for that day.. Then he re posted it here. This is possibly due to the fact that he is mad.
Use scrollbar to see the full image
Cid Gets Face Raped[edit]
Recently on Second Life, Cid spewed such monumental faggotry that even other furries have taken it upon themselves to troll him; routinely humping his avatar. Cid, a staunch Conservative, responded with rage claiming that one of these furries "defiled his dignity" by yiffing him.
| — Cid Silverwing, grossly mistaken on Felinoids knowledge of /b/ | ||
The indignation Cid displayed by way of unwillingness to keep his end of the junior furry club put him at odds with those that were at one time his biggest allies; Wolfeedarkfang, Tamias the Chipmunk and Felinoid. Cid, being grossly unaware of the nature of his friendship with the three, immediately began to rage at them across SecondLife and YouTube. Jilted, the three joined Crusader Cat and the horde of furries out to eject the noble Paladin from the ranks of furrydom.
To summarize; a dogfucker, Christian extremist, 40 year old wannabe /b/tard and the freaks that ran FurryOps are telling Cid to tone down the faggotry. That's a fucking accomplishment in itself.
| — Cid, learning how to play nice with others by way of moralfaggotry | ||
Notable Feuds[edit]
Cid's infamous temper had long been a source of conflict between him and mainstream furrydom, and with his latest serious of conflicts, Cid Silverwing seemingly has no viable allies left in his quest for light.
True Furry[edit]
Cid's rivalry with True Furry is one of his best known. True Furry, an open advocate of puppyfucking, eventually became increasingly popular amongst the furfag population of YouTube. To date, True Furry has found hundreds of BFF's because of his pride as a dogfucker. His abominable fetish and resulting popularity disgusted Cid to the point where he routinely sent him death threats and promises to nobly eradicate him from furrydom's ranks. Repeatedly expressing his desire to see True Furry burnt alive, Cid's Rage of Justice inevitably earned him the ire of the hundreds of True Furry's BFFs. Unsurprisingly, the fact that this was really the only tantrum of Cid's that could actually be justified by the majority of society was the very reason it put him at odds with the furries.
| — Cid SilverWing before wondering why he has no friends in the furry community | ||
Tamias the Chipmunk[edit]
As a result of Cid's assault on SecondLife, Tamias availed himself to remind him of his place. Fancying himself something of a wise sage of the ways of furrydom, Tamias was not pleased by Cid taking offense to a standard furry custom and saw his hostile reaction to events as a slight to the fandom in general, resulting in a stern talking to. Keeping in tradition with furry fandoms open minded nature, Tamias chastised Cid for "causing drama" around the various furry sims on SecondLife and eventually instructed Cid he needed to "Talk to the hand!" the next time he had to vent such frustrations. Eventually, with generous help from buttbuddy Wolfee Darkfang, Tamias coerced Cid into backing down from his initial anti-rape stance and to accept his place as fucktoy in the furry pecking order, instructing Cid to remove all mention of the drama from his journals in exchange for Tamias pulling his videos.
Cid being Cid no doubt genuinely believes nobody besides the furfags involved caught wind of the ordeal and that his complaining and eventual defeat could be swept under the rug, away from the juding side eye of the public. The rest of us know better.
Felinoid[edit]
Not previously a friend of Cid's and bound by no sexual tension, Felinoid was another caught in the crosshairs of the fury. Despite totally being a huge /b/tard and well seasoned in the ways of badass internet terrorists, Felinoid somehow finds the time to build and maintain furry sims in SecondLife. The owner of the area in which said face fucking occurred, Felinoid perhaps more than anybody was appealed to Cid's decidedly unfriendly reaction towards the routine yiffing that occurs in the mod. Furious that Cid wanted no part such a sacred custom, Felinoid promptly booted his ass from the game, with Cid reacting accordingly.
In a unique variation, Felinoid fancies himself quite a hardcore troll. Seeing the perfect opportunity to try and gain some of the oft desired troll street cred he had been lacking (as is par for the course for people that hang around other men in their 40's pretending to be sexy vixens on the internet), he realized he was now in an incredibly rare position: actually being able to troll something. Cid, wholly uninterested in things that don't involve his cock and construction materials, fully believed Felinoids erroneous claims of being well known and respected by Anonymous; while Felinoid, gleefully jumping at the chance to actually be looked upon by the public as an honest to goodness troll, did his best to make sure Cid saw him as a slanderous /b/tard and label him accordingly. Cid obliged, and left Felinoid feeling accomplished and empowered; giving him all he needed to fuel his 10 minute giggle fits in front of his webcam for years to come, regardless of the fact that Felinoids "trolling" wasn't very good. By which we mean Felinoid argued video game semantics and tried forcing a lame meme.
And more or less nothing else.
Epic trolling in action!
Conner Hemming[edit]
Sometimes, two humongous faggots become one...
Gallery[edit]
And it's still no excuse.
You thought we were fucking with you about the line thing, didn't you.
It doesn't take long to realize why Cid is so fond of Wolfee.
Cid has a bit of trouble maintaining relationships.
Like Darkfang before him, Cid often will pick fights, then run when he can't handle the repercussions.
He has it rough.
Cid's a pretty messed up kid.
that will often confuse complicated, real world differences with black and white, cartoonish trivializations.
His understanding of the concept of irony, however, more than makes up for it.
The images responsible for ruining most of Cids pants.
Cid learning art from the pros.
He also fancies himself quite the badass.
Nerd rage.
Sexualizing cartoon animals, as always. Note the bulge.
and having Tails jack off
Badass!
Cid overcompensating.
Cid has very limited interests.
A natural.
Cid declares war.
Antics When he's Not Masturbating[edit]
On lonely, cold nights, Cid like to break up the monotony by accusing total strangers of adding to his Encyclopedia Dramatica page. Like most, Cid has a very vague concept of an IP address, where he can get it from, or how he can use it to trace his enemies. None of this matter, however, as Cid immediately unleashes the fucking fury on those he deems worthy facts be damned.
A transcript, for your reading pleasure[edit]
- [12:31:25 AM] Blake: hello?
- [12:31:33 AM] Cid SilverWing: You've been working on my ED article
- [12:31:43 AM] Blake: hmm?
- [12:31:56 AM] Cid SilverWing: Confess it, you've been adding to my ED
- [12:32:00 AM] Blake: who're you again?
- [12:32:06 AM] Cid SilverWing: Cid SilverWing
- [12:32:07 AM] Blake: sorry, horrible with usernames
- [12:32:17 AM] Cid SilverWing: www.encyclopediadramatica.com/cidsilverwing
- [12:32:19 AM] Cid SilverWing: Remember this?
- [12:33:01 AM] Cid SilverWing: Yeah you do
- [12:33:20 AM] Blake: hmm, no, the only ED article i've added to recently is Conner Hemming's
- [12:33:31 AM] Blake: actually, i don't remember this... sure you got the right person?
- [12:33:37 AM] Cid SilverWing: I got your IP log
- [12:33:44 AM] Blake: do what now?
- [12:34:13 AM] Cid SilverWing: You're among the contributors
- [12:34:19 AM] Blake: with what username?
- [12:34:23 AM] Blake: i sign all my edits
- [12:34:34 AM] Cid SilverWing: MeetTheMedic
- [12:34:37 AM] Cid SilverWing: Sound familiar?
- [12:34:41 AM] Blake: oh, i'm Breakingspell
- [12:34:46 AM] Cid SilverWing: You're both
- [12:34:51 AM] Blake: heh, no, i'm not
- [12:35:12 AM] Cid SilverWing: I got the evidence
- [12:35:22 AM] Blake: here, i'll go tack something on the end of it
- [12:35:26 AM] Cid SilverWing: Fuck you and your trollcapades, heretic.. Meet...The Heretic|
This little number puts the whole Team Fortress analogy into perspective.
Links[edit]
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Cid Silverwing is part of a series on YouTube. |
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