Simply Sara
Simply Sara is the pseudonym of a middle-age, overweight, American (surprise, surprise) woman. Sara has gotten her share of the internet spotlight for her “educational” channel on YouTube that reveals her wonderful recipes to the world. Sara is truly the form of God blessing America with fatty foods that usually range from 6000 to 10,000 calories with absurd amounts of ingredients added -- so absurd that you can even have a heart attack just by looking at the item list itself!
| —Ester Goldberg, . | ||
Her videos have been shared on various forums; such message boards include IGN and Bodybuilding. Being passed around from message board to message board, her videos have skyrocketed and more people watched in horror as she gobbles up her creations. Perhaps the only thing Sara is useful for is to act as a model of what lifestyle to avoid.
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Chef Extraordinaire[edit]
Sara popped up on YouTube on June 12th, 2009. This is the very first sighting of Sara, for no info of her pre or post-YouTube era has been found to this day. On the same day she registered she uploaded all seven of her videos with, unsurprisingly, comments disabled. Among all of her videos, her most infamous video that has earned her a nice spot on the “Top 20 Internet Losers” list was her recipe of Wanda’s Macaroni Salad.
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This very video has disgusted people from around teh webs who have stumbled on it. This “salad” consists of thick layers of mayonnaise, sugar, condensed milk and much, much more. The only healthy part of the macaroni was the delicate sprinkles of celery, green pepper and carrots. Like how scientists and political douchebags enjoy spreading their word of discoveries to the ignorant people of the world, Sara follows in their footsteps by showing off her tutorials for making heart attacks on a plate. Unlike scientists’ (or even political-fags) discoveries, Sara’s teachings only harm the visitor as they watch her cook in disgust. Honestly, it wouldn't be a shock to any if she worked at McDonald's during some point in her life from the cooking she comes up with.
This video was annotated with the calorie and fat value of her ingredients thus having her audience's jaws drop at shocking numbers. It should be noted that the average calorie intake ranges from 1000 to 2500 calories depending on a person's height, weight and activity. It is unknown if Sara actually eats alone or actually shares with her unseen cameraman. It is a mystery~
The woman herself[edit]
Despite her videos being completely public, Sara herself is a complete mystery to the internet: no dox, no general location, and no powerword. Sara had popped up on YouTube, submitted all of her videos in one day and left right after that; no traces were left behind. Of course, those videos were filmed on different days. However, what is known is that she is completely housebound with her weight being the factor. Additionally, she is not living alone because her cameraman is most likely to be a relative or child that is living with her.
The following is a list of what is theorized to have happened to Sara:
- Heart attack
- Cancer
- Blood Clot
- Stroke
- Sacrificed
- Fed to starving African children
- Harpooned
- Lost weight
- Imploded in on herself
- Eaten by other fatties.
You are what you eat[edit]
Some are claiming Simply Sara has passed on to the other side which is frankly surprising considering her healthy and active lifestyle. I mean, she is breathing pretty hard after stirring that mayonnaise for 8 seconds. This kind of lifestyle usually leads to a long, productive life without any problems. If it's true, and she is dead, the world has lost a great chef. The following is a breakdown of her famous macaroni salad. HNGGGGGG:
- Celery: 5 calories
- Green Pepper 30 calories
- Carrot: 30 calories
- Large onion: 45 calories
- Cup of white vinegar: Approximately 40 calories
- Cup of sugar: 1,000 calories
- Can of sweetened condensed milk: 1,300 calories
- 30 grams of fat
- Pound of macaroni: 1,600 calories
- 8 grams of fat
- Jar of Mayonnaise: 3,000 calories
- 320 grams of fat
- Dying because you ate entire jars of mayonnaise: Priceless...
More of Sara's Magic[edit]
| Picture of pure health | |
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| —Sara giving "healthy eating advice" | ||
Responses[edit]
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Upon watching these videos, a YouTard sent her a message telling her that she should change her lifestyle and this is how she responded.
Gallery[edit]
- PoutingSara.jpg
Hey guys, this article isn't funny...
- Floating hambeast.jpg
Hambeast vacation. That's a stunt log.
Sara posts her health tips on youtube.
- SimplySara iceycream.png
Demonstrating how to put food in your face. She's the world's leading expert.
- Horrid Macaroni.jpg
And it's not your traditional macaroni salad.
- Fourtablespoonparmegiancheese.jpg
Healthiness in a bowl.
- Fat stare simply sara.jpg
HAWT
- Sara chicken.jpg
One of Sara's victims: chicken.
- Chicken stuff.jpg
Sara stuffing the chicken with lard.
- Cookedchicken simplysara.jpg
Sara devouring a poor little chicken.
- Simply Sara Fanart.png
An artist's impression of Sara.
- Orange Roast SimplySara.jpg
Giving it that tangy taste.
- Pork Final.jpg
All of those spices, DELICIOUS!
- Simply Sara.jpg
Reportedly residing near the Dune Sea area of Tatooine.
- SimplySara bunny.jpg
- SimplySara posta.png
- SimplySara motivatior.jpg
- SimplySara reaction.jpg
- SimplySara advicedog.png
- SimplySara sara&jamie.png
- SimplySara srsly.jpg
- SimplySara logo.jpg
See Also[edit]
- Arguecat - Fatty lolcow of ED.
- DaHaloChick - Fatty lolcow of YouTube.
- Gordon Ramsay
- Kirstie Alley
- Other cool foods
- Asinine American
- Jabba the Hutt
- Paula Deen
External Links[edit]
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Simply Sara is part of a series on YouTube. |
[Expand] |
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A-B • C-D • E-F • G-H • I-J • K-L • M-N • O-P • Q-R • S-T • U-V • W-X • Y-Z • # |
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| Featured article November 7, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by ChadSyphrett |
Simply Sara | Succeeded by Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger |
