Time Magazine

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search

Time Magazine is a staggeringly boring attempt by the old media to make presidential bullshit interesting. Instead, they spend half of their time talking about arts, fashion, and general crap so that people will buy their magazine, even if it's just to wipe their asses on. Time is very self-referential, spending at least 12 hours every day writing a story about how "influential" its stories are. The magazine itself rarely has a decent article, the last one being in 1991.

Time = marcabs.[edit]

Before internets existed, Time wrote the first truthful article about Scientology, calling it the "thriving cult of greed and power." This is quite lulzy, because the old media rarely covers the cult, due to litigious butthurt from many Scifags. It ended up as the cover story, which is even lulzier. Needless to say, the writers were thoroughly raep'd by the OSA and their legal team. Nonetheless, the article went out, but because it was in Time Magazine, no one actually read it.

Time and JewTube[edit]

Oh God no.

In 2006, the person of the year was you. That's because of JewTube's raep of the internets, which made Web 2.0 officially shit. However, Time's faggy editors decided to suck the viral cock of both their readers and the final bosses of the internets, so they wrote a bullshit million-page story about fatasses with webcams. Dumbshits flocked to YouTube, making it permanently shitty.

The cover featured a Mac, and a mirror was glued onto where the computer screen would be. This caused many liberals and old people to piss themselves in delight. The rest of the magazine fucking sucked, and instead of featuring JewTube stars, they just interviewed a bunch of dumbshits nobody cares about. That's why no one who's anyone gives a shit about old media anymore, faggots.

Moot is a Faggot[edit]

Last Thursday, (srsly), Moot was interviewed by Time in a one-page story about 4chan. The article itself was truthful, pretty much talking about how lolcats were stolen from Anon and how "4chan is a horrible place." Still, it's another shitty attempt by Time to appeal to the TOTALLY RADICAL YOUNG AUDIENCES, and another attempt by moot to Jew Many god-fearing /b/tards went batshit at the sight of this article. Needless to say, an abnormal influx of faggotry appeared in the vast caves of 4chonz, fucking up yet another part of the internets for good. moot also claimed spammers don't come to 4chan, despite the fact that sites like Anontalk.com spam every thread at least once.

It is also in this article (and another one by the Wall Street Journal) that Moot reveals his IRL name. He tells Time Magazine that it is Christopher Poole. However, /b/tards speculate that moot is being a giant troll, as Christopher Poole stands for CP, Closed Pool, etc. A Google search for Christopher Poole yields only a faggy photographer, some weird-ass directories, and other shit I didn't feel like looking at. So moot's real identity still remains a mystery.

The Greatest Trolling Known to Man[edit]

IRL the reason moot was on the list of 100 Most Importants was because he was the winnar of the online vote. Seemingly unbeknownst to all, the vote was indeed hacked by hackers of hackery. The result lies below, an image that will make you shit brix at its implications. TIME, one of the most iconic magazines of the now, was insidiously trolled for graet justice. SAUCE/Confirmation: [1]

TIME results moot.jpg

Articles[edit]

Time getting butthurt over Internet Trolling[edit]

A regular contributor to Time, Joel Stein Archive today-ico.png wrote an tl;dr article for Time (which also became their cover story) in 2016 called "How Trolls Are Ruining the Internet" where he argued that the internet changed, forgetting that as a normie that the internet was always about trolling from the beginning:


   
 
It would be smarter to be cautious, because the Internet’s personality has changed. Once it was a geek with lofty ideals about the free flow of information. Now the web is a sociopath with Asperger’s. If you need help improving your upload speeds it’s eager to help with technical details, but if you tell it you’re struggling with depression it will try to goad you into killing yourself.
 

 
 

Someone who wasn't on the internet prior to Facebook

We should point out that the author got enough stick for using the term Asperger's that the entire line actually got edited out of the article:

 
 
Editor’s Note: An earlier version of this story included a reference to Asperger’s Syndrome in an inappropriate context. It has been removed.
 

 

—Time backpedaling after realising that being SJWs can backfire.

Alt-Right[edit]

Stein also devotes his time to the rise of the alt-right and their support of Trump, disconcerting to him as a Jew. He also doesn't like that they use the term 'cucks', due to its effectiveness in making shitlibs uncomfortable:


   
 
But trolling has become the main tool of the alt-right, an Internet-grown reactionary movement that works for men’s rights and against immigration and may have used the computer from Weird Science to fabricate Donald Trump. Not only does Trump share their attitudes, but he’s got mad trolling skills: he doxxed Republican primary opponent Senator Lindsey Graham by giving out his cell-phone number on TV and indirectly got his Twitter followers to attack GOP political strategist Cheri Jacobus so severely that her lawyers sent him a cease-and-desist order.

The alt-right’s favorite insult is to call men who don’t hate feminism “cucks,” as in “cuckold.” Republicans who don’t like Trump are “cuckservatives.” Men who don’t see how feminists are secretly controlling them haven’t “taken the red pill,” a reference to the truth-revealing drug in The Matrix. They derisively call their adversaries “social-justice warriors” and believe that liberal interest groups purposely exploit their weakness to gain pity, which allows them to control the levers of power. Trolling is the alt-right’s version of political activism, and its ranks view any attempt to take it away as a denial of democracy.
 


 
 

—If nothing else, then his spelling of "doxxing", should prove he is a hack.

Milo[edit]

He then mentions Milo Yiannopoulos' connection to the alt-right along with his connection to Leslie Jones' Twitter Meltdown and the following Twitter ban he received:


   
 
In July, trolls who had long been furious that the 2016 reboot of Ghostbusters starred four women instead of men harassed the film’s black co-star Leslie Jones so badly on Twitter with racist and sexist threats–including a widely copied photo of her at the film’s premiere that someone splattered semen on–that she considered quitting the service. “I was in my apartment by myself, and I felt trapped,” Jones says. “When you’re reading all these gay and racial slurs, it was like, I can’t fight y’all. I didn’t know what to do. Do you call the police? Then they got my email, and they started sending me threats that they were going to cut off my head and stuff they do to ‘N words.’ It’s not done to express an opinion, it’s done to scare you.”

Because of Jones’ harassment, alt-right leader Milo Yiannopoulos was permanently banned from Twitter. (He is also an editor at Breitbart News, the conservative website whose executive chairman, Stephen Bannon, was hired Aug. 17 to run the Trump campaign.) The service said Yiannopoulos, a critic of the new Ghostbusters who called Jones a “black dude” in a tweet, marshaled many of his more than 300,000 followers to harass her. He not only denies this but says being responsible for your fans is a ridiculous standard. He also thinks Jones is faking hurt for political purposes. “She is one of the stars of a Hollywood blockbuster,” he says. “It takes a certain personality to get there. It’s a politically aware, highly intelligent star using this to get ahead. I think it’s very sad that feminism has turned very successful women into professional victims.”

A gay, 31-year-old Brit with frosted hair, Yiannopoulos has been speaking at college campuses on his Dangerous Faggot tour. He says trolling is a direct response to being told by the left what not to say and what kinds of video games not to play. “Human nature has a need for mischief. We want to thumb our nose at authority and be individuals,” he says. “Trump might not win this election. I might not turn into the media figure I want to. But the space we’re making for others to be bolder in their speech is some of the most important work being done today. The trolls are the only people telling the truth.”
 


 
 

Who do you side with in an exchange between two complete cunts?

weev[edit]

Stein then proceeds to engage in an email discourse with weev for an interview, nothing unpredictable happens here:


   
 
Andrew Auernheimer, who calls himself Weev online, is probably the biggest troll in history. He served just over a year in prison for identity fraud and conspiracy. When he was released in 2014, he left the U.S., mostly bouncing around Eastern Europe and the Middle East. Since then he has worked to post anti–Planned Parenthood videos and flooded thousands of university printers in America with instructions to print swastikas–a symbol tattooed on his chest. When I asked if I could fly out and interview him, he agreed, though he warned that he “might not be coming ashore for a while, but we can probably pass close enough to land to have you meet us somewhere in the Adriatic or Ionian.” His email signature: “Eternally your servant in the escalation of entropy and eschaton.”

While we planned my trip to “a pretty remote location,” he told me that he no longer does interviews for free and that his rate was two bitcoins (about $1,100) per hour. That’s when one of us started trolling the other, though I’m not sure which:

From: Joel Stein To: Andrew Auernheimer I totally understand your position. But TIME, and all the major media outlets, won’t pay people who we interview. There’s a bunch of reasons for that, but I’m sure you know them. Thanks anyway, Joel

From: Andrew Auernheimer To: Joel Stein I find it hilarious that after your people have stolen years of my life at gunpoint and bulldozed my home, you still expect me to work for free in your interests. You people belong in a f-cking oven.

From: Joel Stein To: Andrew Auernheimer For a guy who doesn’t want to be interviewed for free, you’re giving me a lot of good quotes!

In a later blog post about our emails, Weev clarified that TIME is “trying to destroy white civilization” and that we should “open up your Jew wallets and dump out some of the f-cking geld you’ve stolen from us goys, because what other incentive could I possibly have to work with your poisonous publication?” I found it comforting that the rate for a neo-Nazi to compromise his ideology is just two bitcoins.
 


 
 

—Joel not understanding the basics of economics, despite being a Jew himself

Gallery[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

Links[edit]

JewTube Logo.png

Time Magazine is part of a series on YouTube.

[CollapseExpand]

A-BC-DE-FG-HI-JK-LM-NO-PQ-RS-TU-VW-XY-Z#

Visit the YouTube Portal

A Message From Chad and SteveA hunter shoots a bearAaronEverettLandAbsenceOfTheAbsentAddison MikkelsonAdeleADoseOfBuckleyAeverine NievesAfr0blu3Afro NinjaAgoraphobic-BlueAJcomixAkai DaliaAkaichouAkewsticRockRAleksandr PistoletovAlex Mae MuhollandAlexander4488Alexander4488/Approved ED PageAlexander4488/Director CommentaryAlexandercarneiroAlex MacRaeAlix HenriolAlphawerewolffAlyallieAmazingplatypus69Amber ButtrumAmerica's Third PartyAngelofthyNightAngry GrandpaAngry Homo KidAngry JoeAngry Video Game NerdAngryLittleGiriAniMatAnonymousNastyAnonymousThoughtAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnthonytoneyAnti-Flagger Association of YouTubeAntiDisneyMovementAntoine DodsonApplemilk1988AquagirlwhitefoxArceusfan2013Ardi RizalArgent009Armake21Armoured SkepticAsalieriAshlea ClaytonASMRAstablaziaAtJap13Atheist Scum UnitedAtheneAttackofthehankAudreynolandAush0kAustin FullmerAutoplayAxelswife1Aydin PaladinAyumihamiltonB WalmerBaaaBags of MoneyBananaphoneBANGSBarefoot NatureBarmer479Bart the GeneralBattimBattle For Dream IslandBee MovieBeebee890BenthelooneyBerdBetabyteiphoneBigBadFurgyTheFoxBikerfoxBill122460Billoon45BLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBlasphemy ChallengeBleedingFireWolfBloodraptorBludshot the HedgehogBlueshineWolfBlunty3000Bob RehahnBodrochowskiBodyXPoliticBoh3m3BoxxyBrandon SmithBravesgirl5BreakBrett KeaneBrian MuellerBrittany VentiBrokeTheInterwebBroncofn90BrookersBurger the Angry CatBURKBus Uncle

CaddicarusCakefartsCallumCartelCansin13CapnOAwesomeCaptainAtheistCaramelldansenCarl FiadinoCartoonjunkieCash MasterCassiusPlejarenAlienChad "Atheist Killa" ElliottChad HurleyChadwardennChancepsychChangeDaChannelCharlestrippyCharlie Bit Me - Again!Cheeseburger JoshCheetawolfChekovsgunCheryl ShumanChismahChloe DykstraChosonNinjaChrissy ChambersChris CrockerChris-chan/VideosChristianHillbillyChuggaaconroyCid SilverwingCid and Conners Excellent AdventureCircaRigelCirnoClay ClaymoreClayranger89CloudyEggsCodenamesailorearthCodenamesailorearth/2nd Wikia SagaCodenamesailorearth/2nd Wikia Saga/BlacklistCodenamesailorearth/ED SagaCodenamesailorearth/The BeginningCokeman2423Colleen ThomasCondom SnortingCooking With Jack ShowContraPointsCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666Crazy GideonCrazyvideosandrantsCriss AngelCRoadwarriorCropperbCrossmackCrunkcoreCrystal ShinkleCubbyCulexorCulexor/YouTubeCuntFuckBitchCupcake DogCutechongCutiePieMarziaCwilliams1976CyanterroristDaddyOFiveDaHaloChickDamaronDamien EstreichDan144xDandCVideosDangermanDanielspengiesDarknessthecurseDarksidered992DarkspeedsDarksydePhilDarkzero63DashieGamesDavid After DentistDavid HockeyDavidsfarmDaxFlameDbootsthedivaDcigsDear SisterDeleting Your YouTube VideosDemcadDenalynnnDerek JeevesDerpaviangottDev-catscratchDigibronyDigitalSurgeonDiGiTiLsOuLDiaper BoyDie AntwoordDips Tobacco RedneckDJ KEEMSTARDLAbaoaquDog264Donnie DaviesDouble RainbowDoubleSAnimationsDownfallDr. OctogonapusDr. TranDr4g0nK1dDraconas RayneDrewtoothpasteDrinkingwithbobDrossRotzankDrp1zzaDylan KimberlinDynaCatlovesme

Sailormoonred1Sam PepperSammyClassicSonicFanSandro L JeanSanjaya/JSargon of AkkadSaturnDOSSaturnine FilmsSave AaliyahScarredFurrySchool Bus FightScott DeiCasScottHermanFitnessSegacampSerialKillaCSesshReincarnatedSeto-Kaiba.comSetsuna ToushirouShane DawsonShane LeeSharolaidShaycarlSherry ShrinerShockOfGodShocked and Appalled CatShoe0nHeadShon TerryShoobySimply OkamiSimply SaraSindragonSirius OrionisSittin On Tha ToiletSkueeSKWEEZYSleepykinqSmell Yo DickSmogon UniversitySmorekitty97SmpfilmsSnackyCakes2008SnowVhiteSokiTwopawSonadowclubSonic X BloopersSony VegasSONYFANBOYSoulbrothanumbuh3SpaghettiosSparkalloonSparkling WigglesSpax3SpeakoniaSSSniperWolfStarlaglamSteAndKelStealth CatSteve ChenStu makes chocolate pudding at 4 in the morningSuperMarioLoganSuper Planet DolanSusan BoyleSwitchiedaggerSxephilSynchtubeTabbyTablecowTaekesiTails DollTakedownmanTakeShotActionTamias the ChipmunkTammyToeTana MongeauTay ZondayTay Zonday/CRLyricsTechaTedjesuschristgodTeenage Tourettes CampTehbigtoasterTerror PlaylistTh3RoyismThat Guy With The GlassesThatKidDouglasThatkidparkerThdrksideThe Annoying OrangeThe Barney BunchThe CaseyThe DickridersThe Domino's YouTube IncidentThe Failkips Strikes BackThe Fine BrosThe Florida Tweenie RapistsThe Harlan ShowThe Kewl KidsThe Incredible Flying Broomstick GuyThe MoleThe Mulberry EightThe NutshackThe Online GamerThe Rebel MediaThe Slow Mo GuysThe Spoony ExperimentThe Spoony Experiment/Spoony and FriendsThe TrashmanThe Troll HunterThe Unknown AutobotThe Young TurksTheAmazingAtheistTheArchfiendTheAtheistGamerThedramatubeTheHill88ThemaskedanalystTheMrXshowTheMysteriousMrEnterThenintendo3ds2TheQuestionMarkManThe rEactorTherealagerbonTheRedSkullTheresa ShellerTheSockDetectiveTheSuperRobotSoujaOGTheTruthHurtsNetworkThewinekoneThink B4 You SpeakThree Wolf MoonThunderf00tTime MagazineTimmygalTimmysmommy01TinaecmusicTina S.TL;DWTMossBossToby J RathjenTolstoyKafkaEvskyTom SersonTommy JordanTommy SotomayorTommypezmasterTonettaTonetta777Tony48219TonystockertToonKriticY2KTori BelliachiTotalbiscuitTourette's GuyTrevor RiegerTrey Eric SeslerTriciakittyTrickshottingTriggerfoxTrollsNewsTrollsOfTerrorTrololoTroyriserTruthfulChristianTsimFuckisTunakTurtle PunchTwilightSucksTwizidwickedletteTwiztidAshTwo Girls One FingerTyler GarmanyTyler Redick TheVeganStudent

Time Magazine
is part of a series on
Twifrog.jpg
[Fuck reading. Just use Sparknotes.See Also]