B Walmer
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Brian cannot procreate naturally. |
Bwalmer aka bw1979 or bwrosas is another classic example of a sick furry fuck. Being born on July 25, 1979 means he is a 32 year old living in his parents' basement and has practically built a shrine, yes, a FUCKING SHRINE, to Sonic the Hedgehog characters in his room. His room is plastered with framed artwork of Sally Acorn from the Sonic the Hedgehog comic book series. Along with the Sonic characters, there are images of Gadget from Rescue Rangers. Perhaps bw1979 is the long lost relative of Ray Jones?
Contents
Fetishes[edit]
Along with the Sally and Gadget obsession, he also has a fetish with lesbians melting. Yes, melting. bw1979 would go around and beg artists for drawings of his favorite furry dykes melting into a pool of goo. They promptly said NO. bw1979 would not take this for an answer, however, and would continue to harass the same artists week after week for the same sick shit.
No
I BEG OF YOU
PLEASE AND GODBLESS
No and they never will be, freak
Eventually, he had the idea of paying someone to draw his weird fantasies. And so he did, but not without paying a pretty penny. No artist would draw his sick shit for cheap, so he ended up paying hundreds of dollars to see his fetishes come to life on paper.
This entire comic cost him $250
HAY! Amy's got tits nao. :D
Like Ray Jones, B Walmer is obsessed with Gadget. Only this comes with melting.
Childhood raped due to melting.
Valentines Day just got a little bit worse.
Along with the melting fetish, he also has fetishes for vore, bubblebaths and unbirthing, as explained in this voice recording.
You're fucking shitting me
Oh holy fuck
FFFFUCK
"I need you in me NOW!!!"
Wriggling will make them cum.
Some kind of reverse voraphile shit?
Voraphile does Goatse.
Is that supposed to be cunt steam?
Jesus Christ! It's a Voraphile! Get in the car!
Fuck
Oh God, the humanity!
MAD COLORIN SKILLZ[edit]
Obviously having no artistic skills himself, bw1979 does the next best thing: floodfilling other people's artwork. When he isn't using the floodfill tool on MSPaint to fill in other people's artwork without permission, he uses crayon and colored pencil. His coloring skills can best be described as him holding crayons between his asscheeks and going nuts.
Writing[edit]
Believe it or not, he can't write himself out of a paper bag either. His fetish-filled stories are full of spelling and grammatical errors, and just don't fucking make sense (as if furries melting into each other makes sense anyways). I will spare this article from any of his stories, and will instead post a butthurt filled note that he posted when he got banhammered from some forum.
Nowadays when you go to a website's message board, you get a lot rules to agreed to right?
Right!
But when you post a topic on let's say a relationship you're in favor of, you might all sudden get it locked up and yourself temporarily banned from the site for a certain length of days, which to some is ridiculous.
I mean seriously if message boards don't want relationship talk on their boards, then maybe they should add that as a rule don'tcha think, I do.
For example at a site called SonicHq, they have message board called the Mobius forum, and at first when you look at it and read the rules, you think this is a great place to post what I want when I want, "BUZZ", WRONG! You see there's a catch, the moment you post a topic on let's say the romance of Sonic and Sally, automatic lockup and possible banishment for a short while from the site, which again to some is stupid.
The reason I believe for this, having been banned before and currently as I type this, is the fact that those that are in charge of the message board, may not have a real understanding of why people like myself post topics on romantic relationships, especially if it's of Sonic and Sally.
Simply put, Myself and others that are like me, grew up on Sonic and Sally. I mean from the pilot episode of SatAM to the very 1st issue of The Hit Sonic Comic, you saw and new that there was something there between them and you couldn't help but talk about it. Now at this certain time, the only way to talk about it was at parks and school playgrounds with friends, There was no real internet to use to talk other fans from around the world about what was going on with them, and at most times they (Sonic and Sally) were at times the only real reason to talk about the most recent issue that became available, that is until #18 and later #46 when Bunnie and Antione started to spout.
In other words, there will always be those that will arrive and want to post topics on the relationships of the characters time and time again.
So if message boards don't like it, they always two options, rule relationship talk out or create a separte message board for it.
That's All For Now!
He has an adultfanfiction account aptly named BrianW. Just letting you know...
How to Write an Anonymous Letter to Upper "Mangerment"[edit]
To All Mangerment, I have had to keep my mouth shut for awhile, but it's time you heard me out. Ever since you allowed Andrew to switch from chemicals to 2nd shift unloader, he seems to have a devlop this know-it-all addittue that most of us other 2nd shift unloaders don't practially like at all. I mean don't me wrong, he's a good worker and at times a good person that we all try and get along with, but it seems that he has this side of him that none of us like seeing. For example, and I'm not sure how many of you have seen it on hand, except maybe Nick B., but when he's throwing a truck, at most times he'll start out okay, but then at certain times he'll start to get more aggresive, to the point that it's almost like he's throwing down the items onto the belt with force and doing the same thing when he's pushing it down the line, causing boxes to fall, which is ironic, seeing how he complains about others doing the same thing. What I'm trying to say is, and you can even speak to the other 2nd shift unloaders (although we can't speak for the newer 2nd shift unloaders) is that we need him to drop this know-it-all addittue and stop acting like he's in charge, and I don't mean no offense, but when did anyone say he was the leader/boss back there? Other things I would like to say about this are, We need him to be more respectful towards others dispite how the other people may act. We don't need him saying to people things like, "You just being you makes me angry." or as seen last night leaving before any of fellow unloaders, espeically when one unloader hasn't finshed their dropping off of the breakpacks to their rightful departments. Cause from what I was taught and told, we all help each other as team and don't leave until the others do, unless told or scheduled to do otherwise, but that's what he did yesterday, five minutes before one 2nd shift unloader and ten mintues before me and I was the one finishing up the breakpack dropoffs, and even dropping off hangers and a 4-pack of shink wraped cat food bags, thus leaving at exactly or around 11:22pm. So all I'm (in fact possibly all of us 2nd shift unloaders) asking is for you guys to sit down and talk with him and try and get this fixed. Because if not, things are not going to workout very well back there at all. So please talk with him. And on a side note, next time there's only three us scheduled, please make sure you have some backup ready for us when we get there, that way we can done on time. ;) Thanks! Signed, A 2ND SHIFT UNLOADER YOU MAY KNOW. [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/798807]
He concludes by saying words on paper are more powerful than words spoken.
YouTube Account[edit]
bw1979 also has a YouTube account which is filled with hundreds of videos of clips from various cartoons and him ranting and raving about the latest Sonic comic issue. He is so pathetic, that he adds his own videos to his favorites. The saddest of all his videos is this video of him getting a boner over a Sally Acorn plush toy that he bought for $220.
THIS JUST IN - anonymous decided that more lulz should be generated by letting BW in on the wonders of the almighty ED. And just like the horrible furfag he is, he was butthurt about it and had to respond in a way several butthurt losers have - via a vid of fail on his Jewtube:
Sorry, video was baleeted. Move on.
Thanks to this video, we learn the following:
- BW can't take constructive criticism from a sane individual, particularly in this one comment -directed at one of his rants @ [video also baleeted!]
How the HELL is this an interview? An interview consists of TWO separate individuals in which separate ideas are exchanged back and forth. This is just you doing the Q&A yourself, which results in a very one-sided (or lop sided rather) opinion.
Not to mention recording yourself pretending to interview your own person screams out psycho ward.
...and I was wondering why you got your own page on ED. This pretty much explains why.
- thinks he's trash talking like Hulk Hogan or one of those other
gay ballerinaswrestlers that he loves so much.
- mispronounces ED as 'Entrke-lopedia Dramatica'
- thinks ED is jealous of his sick Sonic fetishes because they 'can't get their hands on it'.
- justifies his sick melting fetish, pedo furry picture shrine, and 'Sally' fetish as nothing compared to some equally sick furfag named 'Bianca' who dresses up in a rat fursuit. (wtf?)
- thinks that melting furry dykes and wanting to fuck Sally/Gadget/whatever does not equal sick, and that there are SEVERAL 'Sally' dyke fans just like him. (Doubt it's true, but hell help us if it were true.)
- thinks that the aforementioned adds up to 'having a life'.
- thinks that ending his sentences in 'you better!' mounts up to a threat, thus becoming an internet tough guy.
- believes that he can ban the EDiots from Jewtube entirely.
- tries to flip his butthurt around by asking how one would feel if they had their own ED article. The result would be either:
1) not care 2)appreciate the humor for what it is or 3)be a butthurt an hero in the making viewing this as one more reason not to live
- thinks that there's nothing wrong with his asinine behavior despite the fact that he's 30 yrs old and about half the age of Ray Jones
- assumes banhammering anyone who negatively comments on his shit will kill the lulz.
- makes it painfully obvious that his only sexual experience is with his hairy palms, children's plushies, and hand puppets.
And, in response to his inquiry of What did we ever do to you?, here's the answer -The condom broke, you were born, and no one loves you.
YouTube Suspended![edit]
Seems His Youtube account has been Banned, officially proving there may be a God. Scratch that, he's resurfaced again on this new account as of June 4th, with 2000+ vids as of this update. Most of his vids have just been music videos all set to 'The Touch'. Examples of his kinky melting fetish can be found on his account too (along with 5-star ratings from his peers!):
Because Brian has the memory span of a boxer with head trauma, he tends to lack conceptualization and lose track during discussion verily easily which is a major fallacy in many of his rant videos. For us this means he never puts down his camcorder and records everything as an archive, assuring the thousands of subscribers to his channel over 4,000 daily videos about the recap of events and deep logical musings every day of his life. All aboard - the shame train starts here:
Previous Video | Next Video
Music Videos[edit]
When B Walmer isn't fapping to his melting fetish and being an all around sick fuck, he makes music videos about the Rescue Rangers and Sonic. He probably thinks that he put a lot of time and effort into these videos with dedication and hard work that only a true fan could accomplish. Too bad all these videos suck and nobody gives a shit about them.
Previous Video | Next Video
SICK FETUSES & LOVE BOXES[edit]
Ever since the so-called discovery of his ED page, BW has made a plethora of vids denouncing the awesomeness known as ED. Most of these are voice recordings with such horrible text spelling that would make the toughest grammar Nazi burst into tears.
Brian Walmer and the Enchanted Banhammer[edit]
Like Raymond Babbitt and other spergs of film lore, Brian Walmer also has a special gift below that outward projection of idiot savant mawkishness - the prodigal ability to summon the mystical banhammer on any message board. His socially awkward ineptness translates just as perfectly on forums as seen on his grainy vlogs with the charm of a demented motorboat engine. Just pull that rip cord and listen to bwrosas stutter "SallySallySallyIanFlynnBadWHARRRGAAAARBLLLSALLLLLLLLLLYIANNNNNNNBAAAAAADdddddddd..." and watch him speed off into the distance.
It's also soundproof too, which is the reason why he can never hear the warnings of moderators and approaching Mongols.
This is the archive of his message board follies.
Banned From BumbleKing[edit]
After a while bw1979 wore out his welcome on the BumbleKing Comics forum [8] which reflected his conduct on so many other sites he has an account on, ergo pestering the mods for special attention on and off the board, spamming the forums and overall acting like an attention whore. The BumbleKing mods after three chances were the only ones to grow a pair and smashed the banhammer down on his Sally furfucking skull.
So what composure would you would expect a 32 year old man to have after this? Stand up and brush himself off? Reconfigure their attitude and make amends?
No, we're talking about a furry here. The answer is: Go out crying and screaming like a little baby and do a 10 minute video on it!
What is more is that he keeps on whining about it:
Previous Video | Next Video
If you have been reading this article so far, we all are aware that the neurons in his pea-sized brain can only transmit signals for three things: breathing, watching greased-up steroid soap operas, and fapping to underage animals. What they couldn't process was the innate knowledge that posting another account on any forum after being banned for the above reasons will result in a good dicking by the mods, even under sockpuppet accounts.
Gallery[edit]
His room
Christ
His plush toy collection, complete with cum stains
It's time to D-D-durrr.....
He is the Sick Fuck champion of the wooooorld.
His previous apartment.
Those unfortunate trees...
External Links[edit]
Bfwalmer- bwrosas - his new base of video faggotry
- bwrosas98 - Alt Jewtube account, as per this vid. 2 previous suspensions for copyright violations = new alt account.
- His forum
Clean as a whistle, thank God. Nobody's even joined yet.HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS (still no posts!)
- His FagFiction His Melting Lesbian fetish in written form + one very cringe worthy incest story full of furfaggotry.
- His Contributions on Wikipedia (mostly beleeted lol)
- A Toon Zone post where he squees over his melting fetish getting a page on TV Tropes, only to get called out instantly for his asshattery
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B Walmer is part of a series on YouTube. |
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B Walmer is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
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B Walmer is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
