Saturnine Films
| ——Cody Weber discussing his diet | ||
Contents
Fat EmoKid does not like Theists[edit]
Saturnine Films aka Cody Weber
is an anorexic, emo, redneck, poverty stricken YouTube atheist - who believes that greed is good. Like every other atheist he is a pedophile apologist who thinks "Chris Hansen is Mean!", and has a number of gun-toting crazies backing him up from sock accounts.
Cody likes to confuse intelligence with class when dealing with criticisms from his fellow YouTube, where he uses editing to disguise the fact that his videos are scripted with significant help from an online thesaurus.
Part of the circle-jerk of YouTube atheist drama-whores that includes Fakesagan, TheAmazingAtheist and VirtualHolocaust. It should be noted that if this group were cast in a movie version of Lord of the Flies - there is no doubt that Cody Weber would play the part of "Piggy" (and would therefore end up with his head smashed on a rock). Cody likes to dress up in his best frat-boy clothes whenever he is addressing his elders and betters - and fails hard.
Cody was so inspired by TheAmazingAtheist's decision to e-beg for money so that he could score some pussy from a prostitute, that he decided to get in on the act by begging for money for a new camcorder.
This sort of misguided "I make vlogs. I is an Independant Filmaker!" begging is well documented, and it was suggested that he should perhaps be concentrating on his new-born child instead of spending all his money on his meth habit. He even earned himself heavy criticism from his buttbuddy FakeSagan.
Despite having all the characteristics of an IRL character from a Harmony Korine movie - Cody's film-making skills are at best, terrible - as can be seen in this masterpiece he uploaded. He is also under the impression that independent filmmakers raise capital via PayPal rather than venture capital.
Cody's 4 Part Series Begging for Money[edit]
Srsly, I am Like Fucked Up Y'all![edit]
Cody recently made an emo video where he helpfully listed some of his problems which he described as "like heroin".
This video included such insights as:
- "I have really bad Paranoia Disorder.. I dont know how to seek medication for it"
- Has OCD - and thinks
- "I will have a slow and painful death from eating food - I have difficulty eating"
- States : "I have an addiction to Food"
- Literally 30 seconds after saying "eating is difficult for me"
- Has an Eating Disorder - "I binge on food" - no shit fatty!
- Has High Blood Pressure : (big surprise!)
- Has Ulcer Problem : ORLY? SRSLY?
Subscription Whoring Tactics[edit]
Cody took the easy route to exposure on YouTube. Trolling JezuzFreek777 repeatedly. As many will know JezuzFreek777 is a pretty easy target. Cody wanted desperately to debate JezuzFreek777 on Stickam so made a number of videos trying to get access to JezuzFreek777's Stickam room.
Ironically, considering the number of psychotics that inhabit JezuzFreek777's Stickam room. Cody, upon gaining access - lasted about 5 minutes before methamphetamine withdrawal kicked in, causing a psychotic outburst manic enough for him to be kicked out of the room.
After many YouTube atheists felt the mighty wrath of the banhammer due to the fact that none of them have an original bone is their body, and steal most of their content, Cody pronounced himself the Savior of the Atheist Community and that all their problems are solved - so long as they were all happy using his terrible emo music that was downloadable from his MySpace.
Because of the popularity of TheAmazingAtheist, Cody has decided to shamelessly rip him off. This includes:
- Announcing he was bringing out a crappy book a few days after TAA's book started getting attention.
- Made an "Ask Me A Question" video titled "Not Another Questions Video!", again, a few days after TAA did the same thing.
- Said Fakesagan had a vagina for calling him on his e-begging. TAA had coincidentally done the same thing that very day
- Ended a video with "I'M TALKING TO YOU WATCHING THIS VIDEO! YOU!"... yeah, you guessed it, not long after TAA did the exact same thing.
Typical Gems of Wisdom[edit]
| ——Cody Weber tries to pwn a PhD student | ||
| ——Cody Weber trying to be an original thinker | ||
Doc Dropping[edit]
Sometime last Thursday, Cody gave his personal information to a complete stranger in the hope that he might send him a free camera. Rather than send Cody a camera, however, he proceeded to spam Cody's docs all over YouTube. Lulz ensued as Cody threatened to leave YouTube, accused eternalundyinglove of being the perpetrator and made one of the most unintentionally funny videos evar BAWWWing over the whole debacle. If you have an urge to send Cody some free boxes or Rickroll his phone, his docs can still be found in the comments section of this video. Just find the comments marked as spam.
Read A Book Nigga[edit]
Cody perfectly demonstrates his failure at life by writing a book on it, then making it into a two-and-a-half-minute ad narrated by someone who needs to blow the snot out of his nose.
Much like his lover idol The Amazing Atheist, Saturnine Films has taken to writing "intense," "brooding" poetry. The result is quite obviously shit to anyone with taste or a soul but it won near-unanimous praise from the philistine fucktards that frequent his comments sections. Clearly, these people wouldn't know good poetry if it poignantly bit them on their asses. Comparisons were made to Bukowski, Ginsberg and Kerouac because the illiterate shitheads are only familiar with writers who were popular with hippies thirty years ago.
It should be noted that Saturnine Films has a reedy and unpleasant voice which makes this reading doubly excruciating.
Cody the backstabbing parasite[edit]
Big surprise, a guy who ditched his daughter for drugs was a horrible person to live with. He first backstabbed TJ (poetic justice against TJ's own backstabbing, con artist ways?):
Story starts at 11:29
Tumblr exchanges:
http://amazingatheist.tumblr.com/post/12613046657/saturninefilms-so-i-put-this-book-together-over
http://amazingatheist.tumblr.com/post/12636466773/cody-tried-to-get-a-years-worth-of-my-videos-taken
http://amazingatheist.tumblr.com/post/16722879444/some-people-dont-want-me-to-address-cody-some
After getting kicked out by TJ, shacked up with a band he fucked over far worse (Muldoon's Clever Girls):
I guess it is about time to address this. I will try to explain the story to the best of my knowledge- During the “Muldoon-A-Thon” at some point Cody was contacted by Kat, these details are vague to me but the point is they started talking and a relationship started. He claimed she knew a booking agent and that if he shot a commercial for his brother (or someone related) he would book us for free. Cody used part of the donation as a front to get to Michigan (since we saw it as a band expense we allowed it and also I have to give him credit, he repayed what was owed). He went up to Michigan for about a week. After we got all the donation money we still came up short for getting a van. We were forced to make a decision of either trying to get merchandise made to raise more money or to just save it as a nice chunk towards the van. We sat for a while on this decision since the reality would be we would only really have 1 shot with these funds so we had to make it count. As soon as we picked up Cody from the train station he was already sounding worried about possibly getting Kat pregnant. We then celebrated his return by going to Denny’s that evening- Where out of no where he said that the booking agent wouldn’t book us unless we relocated to Michigan. This immediately raised red flags for us, making absolutely no sense- what does a bands location matter with booking other than where you start and finish a tour? We quickly said that moving to Michigan was out of the question and if anything a waste of time, if we were to relocate we needed to go to an area heavily populated with music (though MI has a scene, not exactly the size worth relocating for). We then sat down as a group and made our final decision to go ahead and order the Heat Press and all the supplies needed to make our own merch. That’s where the question was specifically said- “If anyone has any doubts, now is the time to say something”. 2 Weeks go by after ordering, slowly we got everything in. More and more I saw less of Cody since he was normally always on Skype with Kat. Since their relationship was just starting and it was long distance one, I shrugged it off and didn’t think anything of his actions. We received the last of the ordered goods and for the first time in a long time had a chance to finally rehearse as a group. Jamie was upstairs grabbing a drink and I was tuning my bass when Cody sat down and said “Kat is pregnant, I don’t know what I’m going to do”. I instantly knew what this meant and could only reply “That sucks dude…”. Not a word was said to Jamie once, he messaged me via facebook late that night saying he needed to go up to Michigan to sort some things out with Kat and would be back in a few days. I understood but was still upset almost knowing what was to come, only replying “do what you gotta do”. The next morning he was gone without saying a word to anyone else. When signing onto facebook I noticed a status update from Kat saying “Everyone welcome Cody on his way to live here!” (or something of that sort). I added the comment “Oh, I hope he remembered to pay the $3,000+ debt he owes in back rent before he left”. The comment was quickly deleted and our “friendship” blocked. Oh yea, let’s stop the story here. Yes, Cody lived off of us for free for more than a year since leaving New Orleans. I am personally 1 of 4 people that paid Cody’s living expenses without saying a word about it. When we should have kicked him out to provide a room for a paying tenant (yea, Cody had a rent-free room while someone was sleeping on a couch 3 times his age who also was paying rent) we saw his contribution towards the band and his editing/photography/videography as payment, since starting a band in this small town was rough and we thought we had something special going. It was a worthy sacrifice if everyone did their part. This is where the story gets a little bleak. When leaving, Cody decided that my monitor and keyboard were just his to take, along with Canyon’s photography lens. He claims he will ship them back, I haven’t heard a word from him since. On top of that a mutual friend of ours came forward, saying the day Cody got back from Michigan, he claimed that Kat was pregnant and he would be leaving no matter what. This means he knew he had plans of leaving before he gave the “go ahead” to order all of those supplies, when we could have used those funds to soften his debt blow. We were then stuck with all the supplies to make shirts for a band that no longer exists, thus where No Knowledge Prints was born- Jamie and I left stranded to make the best of a shitty situation. With our store opening, we decided to to keep it in the positive light and not say anything until someone actually addressed it. I’ve gotten several messages about this but this is the first answered publicly. Cody’s cousin and everyone at the house are all mutual friends and we see each other almost on a weekly basis. One afternoon while visiting, his cousin’s wife asked us if Cody had left with owing us a lot of money. We replied yes but didn’t really want to talk about it. She quickly answered the question we’d been wondering for a while- Cody’s 2nd trip to Michigan to finally move there, he claimed was paid for by his mom. According to Cody’s family- Cody borrowed the money from his grandfather who is on a social security budget claiming “he needed the money to record the Muldoon record in Michigan and that we would pay him back with the funds from the record”. If anyone has kept up with the band at all- we do everything ourselves. The record was already recorded….for free…by me…The next thing is Kat’s pregnancy. I am aware there are day after pregnancy tests but she found out awfully fast. My PERSONAL opinion is the whole thing was fabricated as an excuse to leave without us being overly mad and having an excuse that no one could possibly argue. All this kind of just keeps adding up if you keep in mind the whole booking agent angle and everything. Also, what happened to that commercial he shot that whole week? But this is my PERSON OPINION, I have no proof or way to disprove this possible pregnancy. The only reason why I doubt it is from their videos titled “Ever Fucked So Much You Puked?” right after claiming you “got rid of the problem”- if you know what I’m implying, you physically wouldn’t be able to have sex and not to mention the emotional anguish that would come with it. Though it could all possibly be true, I see it completely unlikely. I also realize outing their personal business is wrong, but it’s the only way the story makes any sense and I can’t be held accountable for repeating his words to me. After he left I asked him several times what his plans were via facebook- most of the time ignored but giving me this information which I even have archived if I need to prove it. Long story short- Cody made some shit up, he dipped out without saying anything, we called him on it, and he ignored us. And now I’m assuming he’s avoiding answering your questions since you and everyone else are asking me directly. As for the record- all recording is finished and all that’s left is mixing and mastering. But to be honest- every time I sit down to listen to it, it only upsets me more. I don’t want to dump about 100 hours worth of editing work into a record for a group that doesn’t play anymore. So until I move onto the “next thing” it will probably sit on the backburner for a while. If you’re one of the many who donated- Cody has access to all indiegogo login information and lists of who donated what. If you demand a refund, you will have to take it up with him. On that note though- when the record is finished, it will be available digitally for free. Sorry for the long winded reply but this is the truth from my personal view. Believe what you want to but I told the story with no lies or fabrications.
Links and Other Shit[edit]
- FakeSagan talks about Cody and TJ's Begging
- Cody's YouTube Channel
- Cody's MySpace - and yes that is his phone number in his pictures directory
- ZOMG THIS KID IS A GENIUS FILMMAKER - WHICH WAY TO PAYPAL!!
See Also[edit]
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Saturnine Films is part of a series on YouTube. |
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Gods & Methodology [+]
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High Priests [+]
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Denominations & Organizations [+]
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Followers [+]
Alenonimo • Angie The Atheist • AngryLittleGiri • CapnOAwesome • Coughlan666 • FakeSagan • George Carlin • Jaclyn Glenn • OneLessGod • Pat Condell • Rebecca Watson • Ricky Gervais • Satanists • Saturnine Films • Steve Shives • TheAmazingAtheist • The Dickriders • Thunderf00t • Undertakerfreak1127 • Zionists | |
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Accessories & Related Concepts [+]
Fedora • Friend Zone • Mountain Dew • My Little Pony • Neckbeard • Nice Guys • Reddit |
