California
California (Formerly Commiefornia, before Ahnold) is the lamest state on the Left Coast of America and home to many serial rapists and their bastard offspring. A very small percentage of the population is actually legal. Home to Kikewood as the ingrown toe-nail, San Francisco as the penis, Bakersfield as the armpit, San Diego as the anus, and everyone from the central part of the state being ashamed of being there, California had the nation's first action hero governor in Arnold Schwarzenegger (aka The Governator). After he served the "mandated" two terms and did as little as possible, the shitweeds and faghippies re-voted for Jerry "We Want To Steal Your Water" Brown, who served two MORE terms. Then they installed a used-car salesman from San Fagcisco with plastic genitals.
Contents
History[edit]
Russki vessels looking for otters navigated the West Coast of America and even established a sea mammal torture joint in Catalina Island. Before they were ousted by the more macho Spanish, they took the trouble to plant the now flourishing seed of Communism. This is acknowledged by the Left Red Star on their flag.
California was founded in 1849 by Carlos de California, the son of royal parents Juan de Mexico and Pilar de Puta. It was originally founded to serve as New York City's garbage dump but that privilege has since moved to New Jersey. and then Disneyland opened, a couple of earthquakes happen and then NOTHING interesting has happened there since.
From 2015 and on-wards, there has been the worst drought in over 500 years. There is no sign of it stopping and water is running out. Expect califags to raid your state for whole rivers and drive up the cost of real estate. SHIT'S ON FIRE AGAIN LOL.
"Government"[edit]
Note: Government also known as "Residentes de la República de California"
California is known for previously having Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor. Fucking finally, he is now out of office and has been replaced by Jerry Brown, better known as the "FAKE BUDDHIST". Jerry tried like hell to pipe the entire Sacramento River off to LA so his friends the Resnicks could make moar stupid pomegranate juice to sell to Angelino ass-rapists. Speaking of....
On May 15, 2008, California became the second state ever to make same-sex marriage legal. Even though the majority of voters were in favor of banning faggot marriage, the Supreme Court said "STFU", and made their own law. Faggots and dykes may now eat each other's faces and torture 8-year-old Mexican boys in holy matrimony.
Currently, due to a high influx of immigration, California is now partly run by Mexico and Zapatistas, which puts even more unnecessary fucktards into power. BTW, 55 electoral votes, BITCHES! That's right, Spics have presidential elections by the balls!
There's an "Assembly" but they are all liberal Democrat spongs. Useless, worse than useless. Every day they enact more laws against anything that fat 80-year-old hippie women don't like; all the fun things in life. Like lead buttplugs, GMO red meat, and cock mayonnaise. Or they try to outlaw everything on the Internet. Just ignore the fuckers and they'll burn up in the next giant brush fire.
Demographics[edit]
California is 80% Mexican; 10% Faggot; 5% Jew; 4% Emo; 1% Other
Estimates believe that if all the illegals were counted the population of California would be 200,000,000. This is because there are more Mexicans in Mexifornia than Mexico!
Why Californians Are Retards[edit]
Thank You Mexico.- It's the largest state in the United States that nobody gives a shit about, having the most revenue of them all. But when you compare the large population to the density to a state like New York, the population isn't anything special. It's home to many infamous serial killers such as the Manson family, the Zodiac Killer, and the Doodler, just to name a few. Child molesters comprise the vast majority of entries in the Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Hall of fame.
Nearly the entire state's population is the result of a century-long inbreeding experiment involving Oklahoma white trash, third world border-jumpers, hippies, and to a lesser extent, azns. Those who live in California are pussies who just can't take a little cold, and are retards, as they voluntarily put their lives in danger with earthquakes, mudslides, and other horrible disasters. California is also notable for its yearly wildfires: these fires are usually caused by furfags fleeing into the forests courtesy of Anonymous' valiant efforts to 'Kill it with fire'.
There are also many lakes you can go to and have fun mountain climbing and jet skiing, among other fun ways to kill yourself forever visiting this horrible state.. As mentioned below, the only thing good about California is that half of the state is warm. The other half wishes it were warm. Cities like San Francisco prove this by installing fake palm trees everywhere.
Californians react to rain like most states react to balls of fire falling from the sky. Once it sprinkles just a tiny bit, you can be sure that Californians will consider it a "huge" storm and evacuate.
In short, California is like a bowl of cereal: once you get rid of all the fruits and nuts, all you have left is a bunch of flakes
Why this retarded shithole of a state sucks asshair[edit]
- Infested with : New age abomination Faggots, Dykes, Trannies, Cambodians, Kikes, Liberals, Spics (maids) and other sub-human degenerate filth.
- "We're better than the rest of the country" attitude, despite this list.
- Enough emofags to create a website.
- Enough attention whores to create a website.
- "It's different/better/bigger in California" mindset. This translates to "out of touch with reality".
- Birthplace of Hollister and every other "trendy" clothing line (Although their parent companies are most likely incorporated in the East.).
- Birthplace of paying $200 for a pair of jeans.
- Inspiring high school students that it/s cool to dress like a metrosexual, even niggers and wetbacks.
- Thinking lead, asbestos, and other toxic things are especially toxic in their state. See electrical appliance's manual.
- Expensive, overpriced real estate.
- It's where McGay Hatch founded the NCC
- Greater concentration of people everyone hates, who also happen to be rich.
- Hippies. And lots of them.
- Californians in general.
- Full of gangs, which every white kid from suburbia thinks they be reppin'. Especially in Stockton, NIGGAAAAAAAH.
- Hobos Walking up to you telling a bullshit story about how their family died. Which no one really gives a fuck about.
- Primary wiggers breeding grounds.
- Home to and birthplace of many cults, like Children of God and Scientology.
- The capability to file a lawlsuit against friends who try to rescue you after you drive into light poles.
- Being Florida, but with more crowded shitty beaches, emo cunts, Kikes and sex offenders.
- Spics
- Because of the three strikes law you can go to jail for life if you steal something small like a cookie on your third offense but intentionally spreading AIDS is totally fine.
- You can retardedly go to jail for using the wrong pronouns like you know not calling a trannyfag "she"
- Their government is so shitty and retarded, they literally have to pay their citizens to vote for them. Voter fraud's also rampant, so the moonbats continue to stay in.
- You get earthquakes(caused by fatfucks) there so let's get ready to rumble!
- They've got the Wikimedia Foundation and they are welcome to it. Fuckheads.
Economy[edit]
FUCK WE'RE $18 BILLION IN DEBT LOL HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
The United States loves California for its entertainment. However it hates California for EVERYTHING else. While California leads the way in revenue, it still takes a back-seat to other states in terms of overall wealth and capital trading.
All in All[edit]
For at least 100 years California has been home to pollution, child molesters, pornography, gays and Mexicans. Until recently it was home to the tech industry, which has since moved to India (author: wish and lulz), knowing that sooner or later California will sink into the ocean, where it belongs. In 2006, IT WAS RANKED THE 8TH GAYEST STATE, with 4 of it's cities in the top 10. It was also ranked the DIRTIEST STATE IN THE UNION, as 5 of it's cities dominated the top 10 "Dirtiest Cities" list on Forbes.com. All in all, if the gangs don't kill you, the wildfires will. If the wildfires don't kill you, the earthquakes will. If the earthquakes don't kill you, the mudslides will. If those don't kill you, you'll probably just commit suicide to end your horrid life in this pitiful excuse for a state or the state will slide off into the Pacific making the rest of the country happy. Stay far away.
The New (old) Governor of California[edit]
His replacement lol[edit]
Gallery[edit]
California. the most flammable state. ...getit?
One of the suspected arsonists.
California reacts to the 2014 cold snap.
In California some products are especially harmful
Robert Rizzo: Hated manager of Bell, CA.
Notable Californians[edit]
- Adriel Hampton
- America's Third Party
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Barry Bonds
- Boxxy
- Carly Fiorina
- Carlos Sousa Jr
- Casey Serin
- Charles Manson
- Creepy Phil
- Emilie Autumn
- SpaceScreaminJohn
- George Lucas
- Henry Waxman
- Imperial Stars
- James Huberty
- Jerry Brown, his aura smiles and it never frowns
- Jokestress
- Lil B
- MC Hammer
- Mckay Hatch
- Meg Whitman
- Miss California 2009
- Monica Lewinsky
- Nancy Pelosi
- Norton I
- OJ Simpson
- Orly Taitz
- Richard Chase
- Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan - the irony of it is lost on Commiefornians
- Roy Ashburn
- Skynet, for the inevitable Death of us all
- Steve Jobs
- Syed Rizwan Farook
See Also[edit]
- Los Angeles
- Orange County
- San Francisco
- Oakland
- Berkeley
- Silicon Valley
- Cupertino
- Mountain View
- San Diego
- Mexicans
