I Hate Everything
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I Hate Everything (Alex Bolton; commonly referred to as IHE) is an unfunny, boring Britfag who produces time-wasting videos ranting about anything prevalent in the youth of today, often returning to the most controversial videos several weeks later and creating a "Comment Comeback" to add further insult to injury. While not living up to his name, IHE is known for being one of the biggest hypocrites in the history of the internets, claiming to "hate everything" that has ever existed, does exist, and will exist, despite apparently liking cats, Lord of The Rings, drawing, wearing ladies' underwear and a multitude of different things any beta male fuckwit in their 20s would enjoy. He mentions that he spends his livelihood doing this shit. Whether IHE actually despises the subjects of his videos, is debatable.
Contents
Summary[edit]
| —IHE describing himself. | ||
IHE began his quest through the Tubes in late 2013 following a lash-out at PewDiePie's "rapid fans", which earned him a big deal of attention. As a result of these videos, IHE has developed a cesspool of teenage Moralfags and half-witted fanatics who will endlessly bicker for hours on end, debating whether the subject of the video is shit or not shit; resulting in extreme raeg for both parties. Profanities in IHE's earliest rants were completely censored for the safety of the young pre-teen audience that sperg-out over seeing the title of the video, even though these juvenile keyboard warriors are already using swear words anyway (as evidenced in their rage-filled manifestos left in the comments section).
Firstly, the title of almost every video on his channel is in ALL CAPS. A typical IHE video will begin with a black inter-title, yellow text, and a "warning alarm" sound effect, followed by a template stating that the video is just his opinion. The background music in his videos are known to be some of the most generic "stock music" samples that have ever existed. He gets almost all of his music from this website. Half of the time IHE only points out a specific attribute to the topic he is ranting about, either that or he is shitting over Aqua Man and/or Kite-Man's face(s) throughout the majority of the video.
For example, in "I HATE FACEBOOK" he bitches on about the profile pictures of individual users on the site for 4 whole minutes and nothing else. It should be noted that profile pictures constitute little-to-nothing in regards to the entirety of a website.
And if you didn't think that was enough, he even has his own fucking Wiki: http://i-hate-everything.wikia.com/wiki/I_Hate_Everything_Wiki. Here he says "[he] will never reveal his face, age, and favorite brand of cereal, cock size, etc." So we will do that for him:
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- 25 years old
- Shreddies
- 4.2in
There, was it so fucking difficult?
On Christmas Eve, 2016, Alex, along with ColossalIsCrazy, revealed their faces on each other's Twitter accounts.
Series[edit]
I Hate Everything has created several series on his YouTube channel, all of which are infested with faggots:
I HATE[edit]
The primary series of the channel, and the one that IHE is most famous for. Videos in this series outline something that he hates in a lame, monologue 3-8 minute rant, typically accompanied by various Marvel/DC Comics characters, shitty stock music, and an endless cascade of justifications and over-exaggerations. It should also be noted that this series boasts the pinnacle of drama, flooded with angsty teenagers and mindless fanfags who will defend their internet idol until the day they lose their virginity.
The Search For The Worst[edit]
An immoderate attempt to watch all of the shittiest movies ever made in hopes of finding "the worst of the worst". Almost all of the episodes in this series are based around films that are featured in IMDb's Bottom 100 List. IHE will often resort to recording his initial reaction while watching through the entire film and then uploading it to his channel in the "Trying to Watch" series, in hopes that anyone will care to see how time-wasting these videos are.
Trying To Watch[edit]
A series where IHE forces himself to watch through the movies that he reviews in "The Search For The Worst". Almost completely un-edited, and span anywhere between 10-35 fucking minutes. You'd wonder how it counts as a 'transformative work' under Fair Use.
Comment Comeback[edit]
The lulzy aftermath of thousands of butthurt fantards plunging their huge rage-boner through Google+ and into IHE's fanmail for him to react to one-by-one.
Dramatic Reading[edit]
IHE ironically reads through some of the most God-awful DeviantART stories ever published. This series is proven to increase suicidal tendencies among viewers.
Top 5's[edit]
The Top 5 of something relating to mainstream media. Examples would include:
- The 5 WORST Movies of 2014
- The 5 WORST Fanbases of 2015
- The Top 5 Halo Campaigns
Mini Rants[edit]
Basically an addition to the main "I HATE" series, but typically featuring three different topics mashed into a 5 minute clip. Almost all of these topics are completely insignificant to be worth consideration by anyone, not even /b/. Scraps such as:
Q&A's[edit]
Some people actually have the time to ask this cockhead some questions, the majority of them consisting of:
Specials[edit]
Some more time-wasting bullshit thing that no-one cares about.
Things he hates[edit]
- All social media
- My Little Pony
- Memes
- Damn Daniel
- DURR PLANT
- Video games
- Sonic The Hedgehog
- Pokémon
- Five Nights at Freddy's
- George Lucas
- Emojis
- Himself
- Bronies
- Cool Cat
- Suicide Squad
- Foodfight
- Michael Bay's Transformers
- PSY
- Dust
- Reaction videos
- His fanboys
- The Big Bang Theory
- Anime
- Minions from Despicable Me
- Shark Exorcist
- The Amazing Bulk
- DeviantART
- Critics and audiences
- Comic books to movies
- Fred
- Shane Dawson
- Tumblr
- 4Chan
- Jews
- Niggers
- Mars Bars
- Kurt Cobain
- Video Brinquedo
- Johnny Cash
- The Beatles
- News
- The year 2016
- 9/11
- YouTube
- Parodies
- Life
- Rule 34
- Money
- Earth
- You
It is only a matter of time before an "I HATE ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA" episode becomes evident.
Copyright drama[edit]
Last Tuesday, a mentally retarded stripper named Derek Savage made a movie about the furry child-loving hero Cool Cat. Like any shit movie, it was bound to reach the internet at one point or another. The first person to review it was YourMovieSucks. Strangely, Derek enjoyed the review and he maintains a good friendship with the reviewer. It wasn't until two more reviews were flagged that the entire internet began to see just how batshit Derek truly was. Derek has flagged down Bobsheaux and, more infamously, I Hate Everything's reviews of Cool Cat Saves the Kids. This has led to a blood feud between IHE and Derek which'll likely never die out until IHE apologizes for criticizing a movie Derek likely faps to every Tuesday. This feud has stagnated to the point that Derek made a video attempting to justify flagging down IHE's review, which only made him look like more of a retard.
Eventually, IHE received an e-mail from a supposed pair of lawyers regarding another movie IHE reviewed. Considering how IHE is smarter than those who don't know what being an hero really means, he learned that:
- The lawyers weren't real.
- The people behind the film in question didn't give a shit about IHE's review.
- The sender used a Yahoo! e-mail.
As of now, by some freak miracle, IHE's review of the movie is back on YouTube, and Derek, after getting told off by the one reviewer he was OK with, re-uploaded a trailer for a movie YMS was intended to make a cameo in and had him taken out. It's safe to say that Derek will become an hero very soon.
IHE's YouTube channel gets Baleeted for 24 hours[edit]
On January 19th, 2016, JewTube banned IHE's main account after flagging his "DESTROYING The Little Panda Fighter" video. IHE fled to his alt account, "JAR Media" and raised a massive public outcry over all of his years of hard work being lost 4ever. The following video was concocted:
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Almost everyone associated with the tubes flipped a huge Sperg-out over this horrific tragedy, and the internet feared the demise of their socially-awkward asspie teen's favorite internet "critic". Consequently, IHE's temporary demise gave birth to the new shitty Twitter fagtag: "#FreeIHE", brought to you by this Nintendo-obsessed fuckwad!
JANUARY 20TH UPDATE: He's back, and this entire event caused a fuck-ton of unnecessary panic in 24-hours, thanks to IHE's socially-inept aspie fag fanbase.
IHE's most notable video[edit]
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IHE's Anxiety problem[edit]
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This is probably the main reason his butthurt fans vandalise this article, which is fucking stupid and has absolutely no effect since the previous version of the article stays in the article's edit history even when it has been vandalised.
Recently, IHE mentioned the photo featured on this page while calling us "creepy cunts" for not being smart enough to be more wary of his privacy.
IHE and Star Wars[edit]
IHE hates the Star Wars prequels, along with other films and video games like Suicide Squad (and superhero films in general) and Destiny 2, and he will tell you to your face that you are wrong if you like them. Now this in and of itself would not be an issue since this is how everybody argues on the internet, but this is really ironic since Alex Bolton loves Disney's Star Wars sequels. Given that the second sequel in the Star Wars saga is more hated then any other Star Wars movie. Alex tries to frame all of it's detractors and critic's as a vocal minority. Please note that this defense has been used to defend the prequels since RedLetterMedia became popular for ranting on them. IHE not being able to deal with the fact that he likes something universally despised decided to frame most normal people as psychotic elitist who want to kill people currently directing and producing the films at LucasFilms.
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I Hate Everything is part of a series on YouTube. |
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