~js
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~js, AKA Big Papa, is a well known tragic figure on skype and YouTube. To his credit, he initially gained notoriety with the Paul Fetch drama, but has since then devolved into a whirlwind of geriatric faggotry. With one win and a series of epic failures, this is the tale of what can go wrong when old people are allowed to internet.
Contents
PAULFETCHISTHEBEST[edit]
Sometime around January of 2009, a strange person by the name of PAULFETCHISTHEBEST (obvious troll is obvious) showed up on YouTube. His trademark was leaving verbose nonsensical comments, and calling people "autistic". Since this bizarre new youtuber was sporting the name of Jerry's sworn arch-enemy, he took it upon himself to be the one to dox this infidel. As things progressed, it was discovered that this retarded young man was also running the 
massacabre channel. Jerry assumed that this must also be the same person running the 
massacabre Myspace account. Since it's a band profile, he was able to find out the band member's name that runs the myspace account, "James Andrew Hatfield". Jerry was so excited he began telling everybody he knew. Most people replied with "You do know that's the lead singer of Metallica right?". Jerry wasn't going to let that get in his way. Every opportunity he got he would comment stalk PFITB, and say stuff like "'Drew?, "Sup Drew?", etc. Jerry couldn't understand why he wasn't getting any reactions. Eventually PFITB's real dox were found by somebody else, and surprisingly enough, it wasn't the lead singer from Metallica.
Fuck Yo Baby Nigga![edit]
Like most Guidos, ~js has quite a temper. When he thought that K-Fed clone 0riginalWigger was being "too mean" to RebelChild, he raged hard. He told Wigger that he was going to "totally dox him". With his incredibly keen doxxing powers he scoured Wigger's entire YouTube channel. When he found this Myspace: I'm Dat Nigga in the channel description, he knew he totally had the goods on him. ~js stole every picture off that Myspace page and uploaded one of the guy's baby as his YouTube channel icon. He then went running all around YouTube telling everybody how Wigger is his bitch and that he "owns" him. After he was done laughing his ass off, Wigger let Jerry know that the Myspace and pics were just some random guy. Jerry tried to save face by saying that he "knew it the whole time".
Lulzkiller[edit]
Ever since Paul Fetch faded from memory, Jerry has been looking for some new win to make a big name for himself. When the JuggaletteJenny drama was at it's climax, he thought this was his golden opportunity. After Jenny's dox were found, ~js and "his boys" got on skype and had Jenny SWATted.
| —RavynCrow, Dec. 17, 2008 | ||
Most people were actually pissed that Jenny was now gone, since that lolcow had a seemingly endless supply of milk. Poor ~js never got to claim victory like he thought he would. Instead he just ended up looking like douchebag.
Cougar Hunter[edit]
~js had been lurking around the tubes for quite some time, when one of RebelChild's fake backgrounds caught his hairless eye. He began chatting her up and took a real liking to her. So he did what any smitten internet guy would do, he told her he was a hacker, and the leader of Anonymous. She probably would have went for the whole thing too if he hadn't have told her his real age, 53. Needless to say, cougars need to cougar, and Jerry's age definitely put him squarely in "The Friend Zone". Despite this insurmountable setback, Jerry continued to chat her up every chance he got. On occasion he would even tell people that she was his girlfriend, although this was news to her. Like most wop's, Jerry is very jealous and controlling, and he would regularly tell RC who she could and couldn't talk to. This didn't sit well with her, and of course, she sought out the people he hated most and talked to them.
Out of vengeance, Jerry showed up in the comments of a video that was talking about boycotting Amazon for selling child erotica. He played devil's advocate and argued in favor of the cp knowing that this would piss RebelChild off since she was a high profile "pedo hunter". His master plan worked. She raged hard and the comments on that video erupted into a shitstorm. As troll's remorse set in, Jerry figured he had better apologize in a big way, so he hopped in his green Chevy dually and drove all the way from West Palm Beach, Florida to Lowndesboro, Alabama. The only problem was that RebelChild was still pissed. Jerry ended up driving all the way back to West Palm Beach, because he got lost on the way there, and she wasn't about to give him directions. Meanwhile as Jerry was driving home, a very angry RebelChild went and told everybody on YouTube that ~js showed up unannounced, that he was a dangerous stalker, and at the same time handed over his dox. Since he was on the road and wasn't there to defend himself, everybody bought it hook, line, and sinker. Jerry returned home and got on the tubes to find a dozen clones of himself all talking to each other and dropping his shit all over the place.
A couple of clones that are still around:
Jerry's Kids[edit]
They say that you're known by the company you keep. For some reason, Jerry prefers the company of bi-curious teenage boys. Together with Ickeriss69, RickyRicardo123,
markspeed, Made2Order555 and OmegaTroll69 Jerry and "his boys" comprise "The Kings Of The Streets." When they're not busy SWATing trannies, or sending CDs to schools, they can be found doing what they do best, blowing each other. With the exception being Jerry, at 54, the members ages range from 16 to 19. Which is how he got the nickname "Big Papa".
Internet Tough Guy[edit]
| —~js, talking to | ||
| —~js, serious business | ||
| —~js, threatening Darksidered992 | ||
| —~js, doing it wrong | ||
Trivia[edit]
- ~js is best known for removing his messages on Skype.
- Jerry says that ~js stands for "JavaScript", not Jerry Salerno.
- JavaScript says he started Boxxy on /b/
- ~js says was married to not one, but two, playboy models.
- Jerry claims he "used to be a hacker".
- Jerry swears he's not gay.
- Jerry says he started Anonymous VS COS.
- ~js has stated that he had two Harleys and car when he was 13 years old.
- ~js, at one point, had made 4 clones of himself.
- Jerry once made a YT account and pretended to be weev.
- Jerry's life officially hit an epic low when he got trolled by JuggaletteJenny, who sent pizzas to his house.
- Jerry claims to have started the Kings of the Streets, even though made2order555 actually did.
- ~js likes to argue with 14 year old ginger boys on Skype.
- Jerry is a well known drug addict and alcoholic irl.
- Jerry has a vast collection of Simpsons porn.
Gallery of Butthurt[edit]
Whenever Jerry gets upset, he goes straight to his MS Paint and makes a HUEG LIEK XBOX background for his YouTube channel. Most of the time he's the only one that understands what it's supposed to represent, due to his permanent Oxycontin haze. Here are a few that he started making recently after finding out about this article.
Jerry angry at OWOriginalWigger and SubSeven.
Moar angry angers at SubSeven.
It takes him hours, sometimes days to make these masterpieces.
Jerry pissed at CherryDemented.
Jerry bit off on AnonymousNasty's detective work, and was convinced that Wigger was a girl. Wig uploaded a vid and Jerry was sure it was him IRL. Wrong. Again. lol
- Cyrano De Js.jpg
Background image dedicated to Jerry.
Reaction to Wikification[edit]
| —~js, suggesting that somebody will care | ||
PROTIP: When namedropping, always make sure to at least get the fucking name right. lol
The Jerry Salerno Fan Video Collection[edit]
External Links[edit]
- mrfetchnowant
- oldmemefukdwitu
- oldmemefukswitu
- ANONYMOUSistheBEST
- jsjavascript
- BodyxCumStain
- TreyDougherty - Special Investigator
Clones of Himself
Clones of Himself That He's Closed
His Old Myspace
His Super-Seekrit Myspace
His Socks Where He Pretends To Be His Own Fanboys
Contact Info
Related Articles[edit]
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~js is part of a series on YouTube. |
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A-B • C-D • E-F • G-H • I-J • K-L • M-N • O-P • Q-R • S-T • U-V • W-X • Y-Z • # |
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| ~js is part of a series on LERNIN 2 INTERNET 
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Pitfalls: Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance Previous Hiscores: PROTIPS: |
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