Delicious Cake
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Warning! This article is not to be confused with the unfunny meme "The cake is a lie", although it's repeated over 9000 times in the article, because apparently it's funny. For the game the meme was shat from, see Portal. |
Cake (or Cæk) is apparently NOT a lie. Cake is delicious and thus... you must eat it. The meme originated from Super Mario 64, where the final reward for weeks of your wasted life was the Princess deciding to "make a Delicious Cake. For Mario!" moar like a delicious sammich amirite? -- No.
Since time immemorial, people have wanted their cake and they have wanted to eat it too. Oh, but if only life was that simple. Unfortunately, there always seems to be something or someone trying to prevent you from getting your hands on delicious cake and eating it. It is at times like these that one must go to extraordinary measures to get at that delicious cake you so crave.
Fortunately, the scientists, mathematicians, engineers, physicists and metaphysicists at 4chan are working around-the-cock posing every conceivable hypothetical situation one might find oneself in, vis-à-vis delicious cake, and the ultimate prize– enjoying said deliciousness.
A Delicious Cake thread starts when the OP posts a potentially problematic situation involving delicious cake and you, with regards to your getting at and ultimately eating the delicious cake. The brain trust at /b/ then lets loose a barrage of posts with potential solutions to this horrible dilemma. It is a little known fact, but all cake problems can be solved by making the problem divide by (the problem - you & cake), which results in just you and cake. this is just like (5x7)/5 = 7. problem/(problem - you and cake) = you and cake. Simple.
The following is a neatly demonstrated example...
The Hypothetical Predicament:[edit]
"Combining physics with soul food. I call it soul science."
"Shoop the nigraz to eat delicious caek."
"Now you're thinking with Jules Verne."
Use physics
Dig/fly
Tunnel
"Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center..."
"There's a hole in the sky..."
"...Through which things can fly."
"Now you're thinking with Portals."
"Longcat is helping you enjoy delicious caek."
"Solution for the lemmings level."
"Best Solution."
"Final Solution."
"Divide By Zero"
"Pacman detour"
"Barrel Roll"
If all else fails, use brute force.
From The Peanut Gallery:
Solutions in 3 Dimensions[edit]
The Hypothetical Predicament:
The 3D Solution:
A Second Hypothetical Predicament:
The 3D Solution:
Encyclopedia Dramatica Version
Women and Cake[edit]
Believe it or not, about 100 years ago, women by law, were expected to bake delicious cake for their men. And if said cake was anything short of fucking delicious... and I mean motherfucking delicious, it was common practice that she be told to return to the kitchen to bake at least a dozen more 'till the man was satisfied. If said woman was insulting enough to bake no less then said dozen cakes, buttsecks was required... no lube.
Did you know that...[edit]
- The cake is a lie. You see the ending? The cake is right fucking there! Joke's over now!
- Cake is always better than pie because nobody has gotten off their lazy asses and invented proper pie frosting yet. No, meringue doesn't count, you fucking whore.
Videos[edit]
Previous Video | Next Video
Quotes[edit]
| —GLaDOS | ||
| —GLaDOS | ||
| —GLaDOS | ||
| —Doug Rattmann scribbling from Portal. | ||
| —Marie Antoinette Actually not true, as wikipedia proves [1]. | ||
Cake Galleries[edit]
Now that's a puzzler!
Other foods may be used to your advantage
Delicious cake is sometimes elusive.
Solved with science!
Solved with the dark arts!
Sometimes the solution to a complicated problem is the most simple. (PIME TARADOX)
Sometimes you need some help from outside sauces.
EFG makes an appearance!
Now you're thinking with Portals.DOIN' IT WRONG, if he had read it, it's portal-proof.
Sometimes the eternal quest for delicious cake can even throw off the most hardened crusaders.
How Does I Failed At Cake-Defense?
Final solution: go to Wal-Mart.
And... wins? (also, another at http://www.doink.com/clips/esnipplee/1014983/cake-challenge-solution)
MEANWHILE
Solved with shaman power
BEHOLD, TEH POWER OF MSPAINT!!!
The Matrix owns you... and your Delicious Cake.
Dude... you just exploded and imploded my mind.
FAIL
Solve with bombz!
biologically solved handycap
There is no non-violent solution... it's Cho Time!
Solved, and NO violence.
Difficult, but not impossible.
Solution is FEDEX!
Looks like a tough one...
One solution.
Another solution.
And a third.
The prize for completing this maze is an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas with your wife/girlfriend (ironic, huh?)
some faggot didn't think of walking around the maze
Defeated by MSpaint in ten seconds
3D solution wins again
Easy as
pieCAEK!
IT IS DELICIOUS CAKE. YOU MUST EAT IT.
You Must Eat It!
CHOCOLATE FROSTING!?
Even kitty liek delicious cæk!
Could it be? THE CAKE IS NOT A LIE?!?!?!?!!11 EAT IT! EAT IT NOWWW!!!1one BEFORE IT BE GONE.
OBEY.
Indubitably.
Being served delicious cake.
"This is caketard. FEAR HIM!!1!"
On Christchan, Delicious Christ comes to you!
"It is Delicious Cake. You Must (
eat) Lick It!". ;P
Lolis are cake too!
I heard you must eat it. OM NOM NOM NOM
Eating ass is okay when IT IS DELICIOUS.
It's a piece of cake to bake a delicious cake.
Use Portals. Win caek!
OM NOM NOM NOM
The best thing to come out of an entirely retarded enterprise.
MOAR delicious caek!
Solved
You have to respect the motherfucker that took the time to put this together.
Other delicious things can be lies.
LIES
This is what happens when nerds work at Dairy Queen.
Some people have too much spare time.
Cake can be awesome.
Not all cake is delicious.
Another example of a cake that you should never eat.
There's probably no cake.
A Nazi cake.
HTMLXML cake.
HR Giger cake.
Piñata Cake
A cake dedicated to your hero.
See Also[edit]
External Links[edit]
- Supreme Court Rules Restaurant Patron Must Try This Cheesecake — It is law... you must eat it!
- DelicousCake.Wazdat.Com - this is a website dedicated to collecting the delicious cake of the internet, eat it, you must.
- The best way to celebrate any occasion is cakes and we bring you the finest layers of excellent cakes at your doorstep. Order cakes in Hyderabad from our bakeries only.
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Delicious Cake is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article February 3rd and 4th, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by Wimminz |
Delicious Cake | Succeeded by 18-1 |
| Featured article May 26 & 27, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by The Legend of Korra |
Delicious Cake | Succeeded by Luka Magnotta |
