WikiLeaks
Wikileaks is a website that poses as a free for all wiki site to allow anonymous people of all countries to release classified government and corporate documents for the lulz, thus giving any snitch in any position of power in any country the incentive to disobey top-secret orders and betray his country for profit. It's run by Barack Obama's evil albino twin Julian Assange, whose own white messianic rise to power mirrors that of Black Jesus. Its inevitable that they will have to face each other in a fight to the death in the near future.
Some say it a good site to troll governments and other organizations and the man is constantly trying to censor it. The quality of trolling by Wikileaks has been so high, that there is no government or corporation on this earth that does not want Assange dead.
If you thought that Wikipedia had a massive case of unwarranted self-importance when it claimed to be "the sum of all human knowledge", just try this one on for size:
| —Some TL;DR shit backs up this highly bold statement. | ||
Yeah, so you've told us that Wikileaks is the ultimate revolutionary moralfag site... cool story bro!
Some argue Wikileaks is, in fact, a cover-up site made by the man. They point out that instead of providing us with crucial information for revolutionary practices (i.e. the location of secret jew gold deposit, technical detail of nano-biochip which is going to be clandestinely implemented to every single non-jew, and Illuminati's plan on human extinction of year 2012), the wiki itself is full of shit nobody cares about.
Wikileaks also let us know the interesting fact that ED was on the Australian government's list of blacklisted websites. We can't show enough just how grateful we are for being kept in the know. It is best not to rage about internet censorship because we all know that the people coming up with these blacklists are nothing more than epic trolls themselves and are doing it for the lulz of watching us not have our lulz.
This all said, it's undeniably obvious that the WikiLeaks invention has resulted in the most epic and lulziest conflict between powerful nations since World War II. Does this mean we'll finally get to see the latest installment of the classic World War series that we've all been waiting for? Let's hope so! In the meantime, be sure to stay tuned and remember to stock up on your bags of popcorn and beer.
Contents
- 1 Why does it only leak stuff people already know?
- 2 Vanning?
- 3 Alleged CIA connections of the accusers (you can't make this shit up)
- 4 The Wikileaks Massive Dox Dump
- 5 The Gigantic Cable Dump of November 2010
- 6 The Insurance File
- 7 America's response
- 8 The Curious Case of Michael Hastings
- 9 Trolling Wikileaks
- 10 Trolled by the Feds
- 11 Anon Goes Moralfag
- 12 Mastercard is Taken Out
- 13 Operation Pay/b/ACKLASH
- 14 Let's throw some Jew-hatred into the mix, shall we?
- 15 Book Deal
- 16 August 31, 2011 - We accidentally the whole thing
- 17 War Blog
- 18 July 23, 2016 - Wikileaks Inadvertently Names The Jew
- 19 Gallery
- 20 Related Articles
- 21 Resources
Why does it only leak stuff people already know?[edit]
Jon Stewart: I think you're underestimating how cynical Americans are about their government already...unless we're going to find out the aliens from Area 51 killed Kennedy? Stop with the drama.
Jon Stewart: Is Hillary Clinton Embarrassed By WikiLeaks?
Hillary: Uh, Were You Alive In The Nineties?
--The Daily Show, December 2010 [1]
"Many weirdos email us about UFOs or how they discovered that they were the anti-christ while talking with their ex-wife at a garden party over a pot-plant, however, as yet they have not satisfied two of our publishing rules:
"1) that the documents not be self-authored.
"2) that they be original.
"It is worth noting that in yet-to-be-published parts of the cablegate archive there are indeed references to UFOs."
--Julian Assange, part of the coverup [2]
From Weekly World News [3].
Vanning?[edit]
Assange is a couch surfer and has no actual physical address, preferring to crash at friend's houses for extended periods, making him constantly on the move. As such, it's been very challenging for the Feds to locate him.
How do you go about finding someone who is hard to find? Why, you accuse them of rape, of course. Swedish officials issued a warrant for Assange's arrest on charges of suspicion of "rape and molestation". After realizing that people aren't totally stupid, and completely saw right through this transparent attempt to apprehend Assange, the Swedish government then promptly withdrew the warrant. They said there "wasn't enough evidence to support the charges".
- http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38796121/ns/world_news-europe?GT1=43001
- http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE67K0ZU20100821
UPDATE: All "rape"-related dox are now concentrated at this page. Handy!
The identity of one of the alleged "rape victims" is now known: Anna Ardin, of the Swedish "Brotherhood Movement". Ardin is the Political Secretary and an author for the Brotherhood Movement, Sweden's Christian Social Democrats. Her dox and info were just released on the internet
- Address: Alströmergatan 32 112 47 STOCKHOLM AND/OR Tjurbergsgatan 36 4tr 118 56 Stockholm
- Mobile:
(+46)73-3907017(No Longer in service) AND/OR 0854555332 (src: [4]) - Blog: http://annaardin.wordpress.com/
- Twitter: http://twitter.com/annaardin
The other "victim" is Sofia Wilén
- Address: Torggatan 45 745 30 ENKÖPING
- Mobile:
(+46)76-7161609(No Longer in service) - Birthday: 17 Sep
- Some argue that the above is false and that the following is correct:
- Address: Tørgetan 45 443 30 NEKØP
- Mobile:
(+46)77-7263679(No Longer in service) - Birthday: 10 Aug
- bad english translation of the Swedish news report
- translated website of the Brotherhood Movement
- translated version of the Brotherhood Movement's twitter
Swedish officials have now re-issued the arrest warrant for Assange, this time as an international one. Apparently, not having enough evidence is not a factor, when Uncle Sam says jump YOU'D BETTER FUCKING JUMP.
BREAKING LULZ! Assange turned himself in to the British police, but when told he'd have to go back to Sweeden for a trial, he said "Aw hell naw!" Further muddying the waters, Ardin has absconded to the Israeli occupied territories in full Muslim head gear, leaving the Swedish prosecutrix to pretty much fondle herself with the dead case material. Meanwhile, the Arabic-language newspaper Syria Truth has published an interview with former MickyLeaks Club mouskateer Daniel Schidt, aka Daniel Schmitt, aka some fucking long double German last name, where he spills that Assange met in Geneva with an "unofficial" Israeli official last spring to cut a deal on keeping sensitive material out of the cablebait "leaks," and that Assange made out like a bandit in the deal. Of course Schnitt has everything to gain by pinning graft, corruption and Mossad deals on Assange now, and is feeling massively butthurt he left the mouse clubhouse just before the real edrama commenced. Syria, Israel, Palestine, Geneva--all the makings of a lame spy thriller like the kind lulzmeister E. Howard Hunt used to pen during his off-time when he wasn't assassinating JFK and stuff. Adding to the hint of jewgoldz at work: Sofia Vilen, an obvious pseudonym based on Monica Lewinsky-Vilenski, who will now produce an OMG dress with stains PROVING RAEP.
Alleged CIA connections of the accusers (you can't make this shit up)[edit]
Soon after the identities of "Miss A" (because she took it in the ass) and "Miss W" (because she took it in the "wagina", German spelling) became known, rumors of CIA-honeytrapping emerged. This enraged Claes Borgström, the lawyer of the two new-fledged rule 34-superstars. "How can anyone dare to say that?" he shrieked. The cum really hit the bukkake-fan when a secret CIA spokesperson pointed out that both Missy Ass and Missy Wagina are way too fugly to be eligible for prostitution for the Central Intelligence Agency. From the official statement: "The agency trains and employs only 10s for copulation. Ardin and Wilen are only 2s or 3s. Any gentleman will tell you: that's active anilingus material at best, so that one does not need to see the fugly face. Wiles is even overweight -- I mean, come on! Just look at them!" This enraged Claes Borgström, the laywer of the two new-fledged non-prostitutes. "How can anyone dare to say that?" he shrieked. The lulz are on Julian Assange now, who has shown surprisingly little class in regard to his copulation partners. Julian probably faps to the swim-suit section in his mother's old Sears-Roebuck catalogs.
The Wikileaks Massive Dox Dump[edit]
On October 22, 2010, Wikileaks released a gigantic trove of US military documents related to the Iraq War. There were 391,832 documents released in all, revealing approximately 15,000 previously unaccounted for deaths. As analysts make their way through the stack of documents, more and more information comes to the surface. While the Pentagon and the White House scramble around in damage control mode, Hasbro intends to make lemonade out of lemons by coming out with their latest installment of Trivial Pursuit: The Iraq War Edition.
Did you know...
- ...Iraqi forces were much better at Abu Ghraibing prisoners than the US?
- ...secret body counts were being tallied while publicly they were denied?
- ...that Iran actually was providing most of the support for the insurgency?
After the dumping of the dox, interview requests poured in for Mr. Assange. As someone who sees himself as an anti-war activist, Julian is more than happy to engage in a discussion about resulting lulz. Curiously though, there are apparently some topics for him that are off limits. While he's perfectly content to drop the names of Iraqis working with the US who will probably now get skinned and boiled alive, talking about "raped" Swedish CIA agents seems to be out of the question.
The Empire Strikes Back[edit]
Leon Panetta says the CIA will "fully investigate" the Wikileaks document release.
The Gigantic Cable Dump of November 2010[edit]
On November 28, 2010 Wikileaks started publishing a small section of the total 251,287 cables sent to the US government from various embassies around the world. A mixed bag of top secret and kind-of-secret reports, most of which gave scathing assessments of world leaders and their policies, through the eyes of the US ambassadors sent abroad:
- PAKISTAN: US believes that they, under economic pressure, may sell enriched Uranium (capable of making a nuke) to terrorists
- CHINA: China discusses a unified Korea under South Korean rule, and say they will make it happen by leaving North Korea to decline by itself and letting it collapse after the death of its official religious deity, Kim Jong-il
- SOUTH KOREA: US and South Korea discussed a unified Korea, and SK has considered commercial inducements to China in order to get it
- GUANTANAMO BAY: The US has pressured countries to take prisoners from there (into their own prisons) in return for favors
- AFGHANISTAN: The Afghan Vice-President was found with $52million in cash when visiting UAE (implying massive levels of corruption)
- CHINA: China really did hack Google China, and has also hacked western government and corporate PCs
- SAUDI ARABIA: Saudi donors are still the chief sponsors of Al Qaeda + King Abdullah dislikes Iraqi and Pakistani leaders. No shit, sherlock. We've known this for a quarter century.
- RUSSIA: Putin and Berlusconi are butt buddies to the point that Berlusconi is Russia's mouthpiece in Europe (talk of lavish gifts both ways)
- GERMANY: US warned Germany not to arrest CIA officers involved in a bungled kidnapping of a German civilian
- ISRAEL: Israel planned to strike Iran offensively if Iran continues nuclear development. Israel's intention for the blockade of Gaza was to keep Gaza perpetually "on the brink of collapse without pushing it over the edge."
- YEMEN: Took credit on US' request for missile strike on Al Qaeda. Got high and partied with the fine herbage. Requested MOAR BOOZE.
- IRAN: US is getting increasingly worried that Iran has the capabilities to produce Uranium. Ahmadinejad was also compared to Hitler.
- LIBYA: Dictator Qaddafi has a Ukranian "nurse" companion that never leaves his side + he reneged on a deal to return uranium to Russia, after having loaned it to a scientist for a project involving a stainless steel car. Now, Russia wants its woman back.
- BRITAIN: Cameron has been reported to be "easily intimidated" and "indecisive" by US Intelligence.
- ARGENTINA: Hillary Clinton wanted to know if President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner is a batshit crazy bitch and if she was taking drugs.
- VENEZUELA: Chavez should be isolated from the world.
- U.N.: Hillary Clinton ordered U.S. diplomats to spy on diplomats of other nations at the U.N. which is, ironically, completely b& by the U.N. Charter. She even went as far as ordering them to gather DNA, fingerprints, iris scans, credit card numbers, and frequent flier numbers of other diplomats.
Obama has had a tough time speaking out against the biggest security leak in history since he basically campaigned on the idea of making government more "transparent". White House speech writers have suggested that he have a press conference in front of a banner that says "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED". Fuck Yeah, America!
Meanwhile, as the new congress prepares to take their seats, they're already toying with the idea of having Wikileaks declared a terrorist organization. Run Julian, run.
On November 30th, 2010, Interpol added Julian Assange to their "Most Wanted" list. Move over Lupin the III.
A radio talk show host is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the capture of Julian Assange.
The Insurance File[edit]
Super secret file, so dramatic that it comes with aes256 encryption. Wikileaks encourages people to mirror this file whenever they get ready to drop some massive damage. Once you have the key for it (Little Orphan Annie decoder ring), and wasted time downloading all 1.4 Gigs, you crack it open revealing the secret texts to find they just held down ctrl+v a few million times. It reads "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."
SPOILER: The key is ONION, srsly.
America's response[edit]
The Curious Case of Michael Hastings[edit]
Has anyone who has been believed to be in contact with WikiLeaks ever died a violent death before?
Michael Hastings is a currently dead Afghanistan war correspondent and writefag who had worked for Newsweek, Rolling Stone, and Buzzfeed. In June 2010, Rolling Stone published his profile of General McChrystal. On June 23, 2010 Black Jesus called McChrystal to the Black House and fired him. In February 2012, Hastings said DHS was keeping track of Occupy Wall Street protesters. Hastings also criticized the Democratic Party, the Obozo administration, and the surveillance state when the DOJ investigated reporters in 2013 and called it a war on journalism. His last story came out on Buzzfeed on June 7, 2013 and was called "Why Democrats Love to Spy On Americans."
Eleven days after "Why Democrats Love to Spy On Americans" was published, in some kind of crazy coincidence, Hastings died in a fiery car crash in LA which involved a single vehicle, a Mercedes C250 Coupe, going at maximum speed and bursting into flames before crashing into a palm tree, which ejected the engine about 55 yards away, and burning his body to a crisp like Paul "2 Fast 2 Furious" Walker. Later the LAPD said there were no signs of foul play, and the coroner said the death was an accident. Richard Clarke said the crash was consistent with a car cyber attack by hax0rz, saying that intelligence agencies know how to remotely seize control of a car. The "crazy" conspiracy theory that cars can be remotely hijacked, was supported nearly 4 years later when WikiLeaks began releasing Vault 7 on March 7, 2017, which contained information on the CIA's interest in remotely hijacking cars. Nothing to see here folks!
Days before the crash, Hastings emailed friends saying he was onto a big story and needed to go off the radar and believed he was under FBI investigation. Cenk Uygur, who is the host of The Young Turks and was a friend of his, said Hastings worried he was under surveillance by the government. The widow of Hastings said the last story he was working on was a profile of CIA Director John Brennan. Days before he died, Hastings thought his car was being tampered with and was scared and wanted to leave town. WikiLeaks said Hastings had contacted a WikiLeaks lawyer Jennifer Robinson hours before the crash. On the day of he came to resemble burnt toast, Hastings went to his neighbor after midnight, said he was afraid to drive his own car, and asked to borrow her car, which that selfish cunt declined.
The FBI said Hastings was not being investigated by the FBI, yet the FBI had a file on Hastings since at least 2012. In July 2013, two men filed a lawsuit against the FBI for failing to respond to their FOIA request within 20 days. The FBI file on Hastings was publicly released on September 24, 2013, showing that the FBI's DC field office opened a file in June 2012 on Hastings regarding his story in Rolling Stone on June 7, 2012. Hastings wrote in a Leddit AMA about getting death threats, and also wrote about death threats in his book The Operators, which was later turned into a movie on Netflix starring Brad Aniston Jolie which came out May 2017.
Pop Quiz: Michael Hastings contacted a lawyer for WikiLeaks hours before he died. Some argue Seth Rich was in contact with WikiLeaks before he died. Compare the media's reaction to the death of Michael Hastings to the media's reaction to the death of Seth Rich.
Trolling Wikileaks[edit]
Wikileaks is harder than most wikis to troll because it isn't actually a wiki, i.e. an online database that anyone can edit. It's a database that a select few can edit, so unless you're one of those few then vandalism is out of the question. It does however have a chat room. For beginner trolling, drop in on a chat (probably a discussion of Wikileaks's ongoing legal battles) and start out with, "Can you guyz show me where to find..."
- Barack Obama's Kenyan birth certificate
- the classified scientific studies of Bigfoot, including locations of government facilities where live specimens are held
- the official government documents on the Roswell alien invasion of the 1940s and the subsequent alien autopsy reports
- the White House 9/11 planning memos
- the Final Fantasy XIV beta (tell them it's okay if it's in Japanese)
- the Harry Potter 7 working copy
Since you may not get very far this way (being one voice asking about Sasquatch among many voices discussing Wikileaks's ongoing legal proceedings), it would be beneficial to orchestrate a raid and bring in 700 of your closest /b/tards (or sock puppets) all avidly discussing the government cover-up of Bigfoot. (Discuss how the likely reason for the cover-up is to appease christfags who would shit brix if a the discovery of the missing link were made public.)
Intermediate trolling would be to approach any of the above in a more subtle manner, e.g. "I'm having difficulty finding any documents relating to the indigenous Hominoid population of the Pacific Northwest and adjacent sections of Canada. Can anyone point me in the right direction?" This technique appears to have been made known to JP "Patches" Assange, who recently turned the tables on would-be vandals by announcing he has sekrit dox on UFOs among the State Department cables.
Another intermediate and perhaps more rewarding course of trolling would be to tell them that they have over 100,000 documents, 99.7% of which are semi-classified bullshit that even the Pentagon barely gives a fuck about their having, but don't have jack shit on anything actually relevant. (Mention the official Army coverup of the Pat Tillman murder for lulz.)
Also, tell them that because they aren't leaking documents that agree with your conspiracy theory, then he must but a CIA shill.
A highly advanced form of trolling Wikileaks would be to submit a fake document, image, or video pertaining to any of the above and actually have it published to the site. This is advanced because they have to employ a rigorous vetting process (or so they claim).
A truly advanced troll would be to submit video evidence of Assange's Rape of swedish CIA agents, but the most epic troll would be for Assange himself to submit the tape via the wiki.
Trolled by the Feds[edit]
In an epic example of payback, the US Government donned its trollface again and all but obliterated the revenue streams for WikiLeaks by leaning on PayPal and Amazon until they b& the leaky wiki. They managed to get EveryDNS to remove its entry for wikileaks.org (but not to worry, there are plenty of mirrors). The Feds then managed to get VISA and Mastercard to stop card payments to Wikileaks. They've also tried to stop young people from reading it by threatening them with being barred from government jobs in the future. (But why would they want that after reading WikiLeaks?)
Anon Goes Moralfag[edit]
Previous Video | Next Video
Mastercard is Taken Out[edit]
On December 8th, Mastercard's site was taken out by Operation Payback, hours before its previous statement "They have not disrupted our means of payment." Hours later, the results of Anon's Ddos attack was shown:
Later that day, Mastercard got trolled by DJ Korax from AnonOps official radio by prankcalling their support line.
Operation Pay/b/ACKLASH[edit]
On December 11 the first arrests concerning Operation Payback were made. The first to go down is a 16-year-old boy, who has been arrested by the Dutch High Tech Crime Team and is being held for interrogation. Moot has commented that he hopes this string of arrests helps clean B/ of underaged so called "hackers" script-kiddies.
Since his release from jail, Jullian Assange has been using the phrase "serious business" in interviews repeatedly. Ex. "Just another idiot trying to make a name for himself. It's a serious business." Could this be some subtle way of giving Anonymous a "shout out" for their efforts?
Let's throw some Jew-hatred into the mix, shall we?[edit]
In mid-December, several media outlets began to report that Assange was collaborating with the notorious anti-semite Israel Shamir, who is in fact listed as the Wikileaks spokesperson for Russia. Shamir's equally Jew-hating son is listed as the Wikileaks spokesperson for Scandinavia.
- http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/andrewbrown/2010/dec/17/wikileaks-israel-shamir-russia-scandinavia
- http://reason.com/archives/2010/12/14/the-assange-employees
Oh gee, let's see here -- a prominent hacker who hates the Jews. How fucking original.
Coming soon from Wikileaks: secret documents proving that Hitler actually murdered only 1 million
600,000 Jews in death camps.
Book Deal[edit]
JP reportedly recently signed a deal to put his brand oops name on a ghost-written tell-all major full-release book in exchange for $1.5 million, to be used for "legal fees." JP's email addresses, editor@wikileaks.org me@iq.org and proff@iq.org, immediately went dead upon completion of the book deal, aka "donation." Sources close to the actual newspapers carrying the story claim Jews run the publishing house involved.
August 31, 2011 - We accidentally the whole thing[edit]
David Leigh, a journalist with the Guardian newspaper disclosed a password in his book. The password to the entire cache of unredacted documents. Why would he do this? Well, Leigh claims Assange told him that the password was only "temporary" and would expire in a short time. Assange says he's a fucking liar and a phenomenal idiot.
But no biggie, right? The cables file was only given to reporters like David Leigh, and noone else, right? Umm.... Nope. The file was mistakenly left on torrented mirrors of Wikileaks' website. Oh fuck.
The cat being fully out of the bag, Wikileaks decides to get ahead of the game, and publishes all the unredacted cables that would have been leaked anyway, due to Leigh's stupidity. However, some argue that nobody gives a shit.
War Blog[edit]
July 23, 2016 - Wikileaks Inadvertently Names The Jew[edit]
While politely minding his own business on teh internets, Julian noticed a (((coincidence))) when he saw that many "tribalist establishment climbers" had a mysterious series of parentheses around their names. This of course was because, after hearing of the anti-Semitic meme, leftist virtue-signallers on Twitter had kindly adopted the symbol in order to allow sane people to more quickly tell they were retards 1. The Lulz continued when Julian speedily deleted his tweet once he discovered he had unwittingly redpilled himself.
Gallery[edit]
Related Articles[edit]
- Gov.palin@yahoo.com
- Crowdleaks
- Wikichan
- Wikitruth - whistle blower wiki for luser's secrets on Wikipedia
- Almost raped
- Bandwagon
- The Tale of the traveling Afghan War Diaries
- Trolling IRL
- Porn Wikileaks
- Broadside
Resources[edit]
- "100 Most Damaging Wikileaks" - a 2016 list of anti-Clinton dirt and scuttlebutt, assembled by someone who gets half of his claims wrong, but still a handy go-to index for research
- wikileaks.org
- CABLE GATE, MOTHAFUCKA!
- The Guardian joins the circlejerk.
- moar cablegate@techherald- assange taken into custody until dec.14
- CABLE GATE, MOTHAFUCKA!
-
Julian Assange's fan made blog (Warning: Extremely homosexual content)Taken down by Jewspot https://secure.wikileaks.org/ - secured connectionlink dead- Wikileaker gets leaked - A biography on Julian Assange
- Whistle-blower site taken offline
-
wikileaks - list of wikileaks mirrors
- US Government says "If you read wikileaks you are breaking the law"
- Apparently over 9000 cyber-insurgents have been mobilised!!
- Breaking fucking news
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WikiLeaks is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article December 5, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by Coughlan666 |
WikiLeaks | Succeeded by TSA |
| Featured article August 17 & 18, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by Hypocrisy |
WikiLeaks | Succeeded by Pussy Riot |
| Featured Article April 12 & 13, 2019 | ||
| Preceded by Bumblebee_(Movie) |
WikiLeaks | Succeeded by Homestuck |
