Susan Boyle
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Susan Boyle is a 47-year old Scot 'woman' that was beaten with the ugly tree every year on her birthday. Yet, it seems to be that she is still far above the standards of any average british woman. She recently appeared on Britain's Got Talent, and surprised everyone by being kinda good. From there, fucking billions of people on Facebook, MySpace, YouTube and basically every other website on the internets went crazy and made her into a fucking God, for singing one shitty song from some French play. E-mails were over-run by everyfuckingbody sending the same YouTube video. Susan's YouTube video went on to gain over 100 million views, mostly from amerifags (most Britfags don't give a shit about her despite of being in the opinion that you don't need good looks to be successful).
It is without a doubt this explosive response to average opera singing would have never happened if Boyle wasn't abnormally hideous. Apparently being ugly makes you less likely to have any talent, and that is what's important here - giving millions of other shut-in virgins around the world a flicker of hope.
In what can only be described as taking rule 34 too far, Boyle also has been asked to star in a porno, offering a possible new candidate for The Power 5.
Contents
The video[edit]
A Video showing her "Skills"[edit]
/b/'s response[edit]
Susan's attempts to be the female Rick Astley did not go unnoticed by /b/, who promptly dug up docs. However, moralfags quickly flooded the threads with protests that trolling Susan would be a reprehensible, unprovoked attack. Some more observant /b/tards pointed out the fact that, in attacking a 48 year old ugly virgin who lives with their mother, Anonymous would be, in theory, attacking themselves. Thus creating a paradox and dividing by zero.
Susan responds:
Her loss[edit]
Ultimatly on the big night of the Britain's Got Talent final, despite having so much media publicity that would put previous hopeful winners to shame and being part of the final few, she did not win this year's show. Instead, the British public had decided to troll the media and Miss Boyle's rabid fanbase by voting for Diversity as the winning act instead.
Infuriated by this turn of events, Susan Boyle fans immediately got butthurt and a mass of Waaaambulances had to be dispatched to their homes. They started posting on their Facebook, Myspace, YouTube and comments sections fucking EVERYWHERE about how unfair it was that the public did not choose to vote for the one person that was being jammed down their throats 24/7. Some even went into denial about the event after sobbing into their tear-soaked pillows and claimed Boyle had won anyway. To be fair nobody knows shit about Diversity now, which begs the question... who's the true winner?
The daft bitch wanted to go and sing "A Perfect Day" by Loooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu Reed. little did that fat cunt know that the almighty Lou didn't allow fat retard-cuntrags to sing his songs......Lou Reed:∞ fat ugly donkey:0
| —Some butthurt faggot who nobody cares about | ||
| —Yeah, how DARE the British public get to choose the winner of Britain's Got Talent. | ||
In 2013, she made her feature film debut in "The Christmas Candle", a piece of Christfag propaganda disguised as a holiday family movie produced by former Presidential candidate and closeted homosexual, Rick Santorum and also starring Sylvester McCoy and that one chick from Les Miserables. It was a huge box office bomb!
Gallery[edit]
Desperate face-painters are desperate[edit]
See Also[edit]
External Links[edit]
- An interview, although the poor sound quality and Scottish accents may render it inaudible
- Susan sings Timberlake's masterpiece "Cry Me A River"
- Her best performance.
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Susan Boyle is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
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Susan Boyle is part of a series on YouTube. |
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