Baldi's Basics

Welcome to the short bus.

Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning is a kewl new indie edutainment game by mystman12 (Powerword: Micah McGonigal) that is essentially the unholy bastard child of Five Nights at Freddy's, Slender: The Eight Pages, Undertale and Doki Doki Literature Club. Despite being marketed as a "horror" game, the only things that are actually horrific about the game are its atrocious Windows 95 graphics and the fact that numerous Let's Plays by faggy YouTube attention whores such as PooDiePie, Shartiplier, and JackassSeptictankEye have helped make this absolute trash of a game into the most autistic fad to hit the internet since Ugandan Knuckles. The game is also notable for being developed in 2 hours in MS Paint.

The game's sorry excuse for a "plot" revolves around attempting to locate 7 notebooks and answer 3rd grade math problems while your teacher—the titular Baldi—chases you around the school and attempts to anally rape you with a wooden ruler should you answer any of his questions wrong. Because your shitty computer is still fucked up due to Monika, after answering five of Baldi's questions the game glitches out and gives you a garbled mass of Zalgo text that forces you to fail and submit to a brutal raping from Baldi.

autistman12[edit]

Micah McGonigal, the retard who shat out this garbage on an unsuspecting internet.

Micah McGonigal is an autistic teenage Christian from Virginia who enjoys watching Phineas and Ferb reruns and thinks that being random and stupid is funny.

The Game[edit]

	“	Be warned, it's really bad.	„
	—Micah McGonigal, on his shitty game (archive)

The "Characters"[edit]

Baldi - A teacher who enjoys beating his most autistic student with a ruler.

Playtime - An annoying little MS Paint cunt who forces you to play jump rope and deserves to die in a school shooting.

Principal of the Thing - No running in the halls. No gay sex in the halls. No redeeming qualities in my game in the halls. No writing Encyclopedia Dramatica articles in the halls. No autism in the halls.

Gotta Sweep - A haunted black-bristelled (if that is even a word) carbon copy of a broom, which is possessed by the vengeful spirit of Fat Albert.

1st Prize - Stephen Hawking knock off, except with a desire to love on the player.

Arts and Crafters - Literally a fucking sockpuppet. Goes batshit insane if you collect said 7 notebooks

It's a Bully - This is a bully. No, really, that's what it says next to him.

Filename2 - Not entirely a character, but he appears in an alternate ending after you fail all the answers. He orders you to destroy the game in despair... and fucked up glitching.

Cloudy Copter - A floating cloud-alike helicopter jerk thing that blows at fire in the camping demo. To get rid of this fucker just come closer to fire.

Kickstarter[edit]

You heard right. Letting the fame of his shit "meme" game get to his head, the fucker made a Kickstarter for making Baldi into a FULL game. The price? He wanted $50k; yes, $50,000 for a full MS paint "well put together" Baldi game. Release a boring demo where your just going on a camping field trip with Baldi into the woods to go pick up some wood for a fire.

While most people with a brain can see how fucking stupid this is to ask for so much for a game(done in 24 hours for some game jam event and a Slenderman ripoff) that got a small cancer following; most(like some ytuber nobody John Wolfe to even Kiwi Farms and many more) are defending this piece of shit funding thinking that this game was oh so "good" that the creator should make a full game out of it. If this shit gets funded, hope they'll ready for a long release, half assed game to be given to them.

Fanbase[edit]

Believe it or not, Baldi's Basics has an autistic fanbase. Let's say 20% of it is true fans of Baldi's Basics, the rest is bunch of autists from other fanbases that only make it even more shit than it already was.

There are all few kinds of "fans" of Baldi's Basics.

The "Modding" Community[edit]

Autistic modders that "mod" the game. There ARE really few people (pretty much almost 1e-75% or less) making real mods (like hacks that would actually help during the "game"), but most of the modders are the retarded idiots that only edit the decompiled textures, sounds and sometimes code but they just the text and other minor shit and call it a "mod". Their reskins are even worse, most of them can be made in 5 to 6 minutes, and any "code mod" is no different.

Not just that, these normies put their half-assed shit in a site called GameBanana (and sometimes Game Jolt, but the admins there don't give horse shit about that), and the admins there were pissed enough to even take down almost 88% of their autistic reskins, but since the community are douchebags and don't know any fucking better, they fucking spam it with their shit over and over. After this horse shit is taking over the site's homepage, one of the admins actually realized they were idiots and decided to end the game's reign of terror by blacklisting Baldi's Basics and its cancerous clones (which they call them "fangames" and even games that these retards terrorized)' sections on the site from the homepage and tried to find some random normies which claim to know how to institute balance for its game page, but actually have less than 1 IQ to even realize they have already done cancer already. What these so called "game managers" do is just trying to hide every "low-quality" reskin from the page and leave actual shit behind like nothing as well. Some "cool kids" try to be cool by spam flagging all reskins they find shit and put the reason as "qaulity controll" like they have no proper English.

If you want to see their shit and get pure cancer, go to the "game"'s section on GameBanana. Trust me, it's that fucking bad.

Clone Makers[edit]

If retards who "mod" the game aren't fucking enough, then there are the people who make shitty clones which are made in Paint like Baldi, but tons worse since they are likely shittier than the creator of the "game" and they call it a "fangame" like they really got that inspiration, while inspiration = copy but making it different. Good fucking riddance.

Furfags[edit]

Make Baldi characters furries, and I guess you know more. (See: Furfag).

Fanart Dickheads[edit]

Other shit people making fanarts when a character from any series or a player character (usually a grey person with "P" scribbled on its name) is in the "Baldi World" and dealing with these shitstain characters (usually the characters getting spanked by Baldi).

Objectcucks[edit]

Objectcucks seem to have a terrible obsession for the "game" ever since it came out. They usually make shitty and retarded crossovers that make your eyes bleed and make you close the window in a nanosecond, put the Baldi's Basics characters (or anything relating to it) to their shit-stain Object Shows, and all sorts of stuff. That Objectshit already takes over the 50% of the search results for "Baldi's Basics".

An example of a shitty Objectcuck crossover.

YouTubers[edit]

Faggots which play people's "mods" and clones and even sometimes clickbait them for money by putting all their videos beyond ten fucking minutes and having really fucking shitty thumbnails and titles like "NEW EVOLUTION of PLAYTIME in Baldi's Basics Education & Learning" so they can get views like a bastard. Some of these idiots even put objectcuck assets into their thumbnails like they don't give a fucking damn about it and do it hourly like they don't give a damn, and even do their own "mods". The only "good" one is MediaGamesGuide, but his content became more and more cancerous as soon as he became uploading Baldi content OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Any Baldi "mod" thumbnail in MediaGamesGuide's channel on YouTube.

A thumbnail of a cancerous "mod" from the "Baldi" channel on YouTube.

Annoying Beggars[edit]

The little kids beg the "modding community" to do their fucking ideas like they can rule over the world like normies and tell people what to do. Some of these kids do videos on their "mods/reskins" on retarded software like Gacha Life or Vyond and try to think they will get fucking popularity over it.

A random kid on Game Jolt trying to beg the creator of an overrated reskin series to make a "DLC" of the last "chapter" that also includes his fucking "mod"'s characters.