Heinrich Himmler

A picture of the great Heinrich Himmler.

Even Times magazine recognized how cool he was, putting him on the front cover for one issue.

Heinrich Luitpold Himmler (7 October 1900 – 23 May 1945) was an elite jew stomper known best as the General of the SS-- appointed by Adolf Hitler-- himself. His slant eyes, black hair, and dark skin made him the exemplary physical form of nazi ideology. He was among the top leaders of the Nazi administration, third in command after Hitler-- right under Joseph Goebbels. He was a vehement anti-semite who was gayly obsessed with Hitler. His obsession became so strong that, eventually, he started dressing exactly like the Führer and sported a Charlie Chaplin mustache just like Hitler did. His influence and power was extreme in Nazi Germany. Everyone thought that Heinrich was a pretty big fucking deal-- which he was. Many blame him for coming up with the idea to exterminate all the jews in the fairytale known as The Holocaust.

Despite being such a badass Jew slayer, he was-- in fact-- a giant pussy. He enlisted in the reserves during World War I, but never actually saw active duty because his vagina was too moist, so he decided to study agronomy out of all fucking things so that he could grow flowers over the Jews’ graves and use their corpses as fertilizer . After being appointed as the Reichsführer of the SS, he went on for a decade and a half, crying about how dirty Jews were and jumped on Hitler’s nuts, begging him to open up the concentration camps. Himmler was also known for being one of the leaders of the Gestapo. He rose to this position mainly because of his ability to sniff out a Jew better than a fucking German Shepard. Even though the Nazis stood on Christian principals, he was an avid Satan Worshipper and jerked off with sandpaper to use his dick blood to summon Aryan Angels to give him supernatural Jew killing powers.

Surprisingly, the Nazis lost the war, and Heinrich Himmler fled to Palestine, where he eventually started the organization known as Hamas where he could continue his visceral anti-semitic rantings as a Shi’ite Cleric. Of course, the British Jews from Tottenham decided to lie and say that they caught him, putting him in jail, and claiming that he committed suicide. Himmler’s beloved memory remains deep down in the hearts of all white people to this very day.