Nerd

This article is about nerds in general. You may be looking for Nerd³ or the Angry Video Game Nerd, etc.

A typical nerd looking at porn in mom's basement

A nerd is essentially an ugly, anthropophobic luser, often fat and/ or a basement-dweller, who is obsessed with and quite knowledgeable about a particular, non-mainstream hobby. In practice they are essentially like geeks, except that they are even less socially adjusted. Thus, unlike geeks, nerds are notoriously easy to pick out of a crowd — one need only listen for the person who is prattling on endlessly about a subject of little interest to anyone else, or who only wears t-shirts that they purchased at last week's convention. They also just so happen to fail it at socializing (except perhaps with other attendees of said convention).They are ~~not~~ neutral at Mudkipz and the most of all,they are 100% offended in ED (nerds have no lulz). But what does that make ED? The world may never know...

The Nerd Kingdom[edit]

Typical nerd fixing his PC to watch furry porn

Why we can't kill them...

The term "nerd" is merely the genus of a vast variety of social degenerates; there exist, under the broad categorization of the term, many species of nerd that are determined based on collective nicknames. A nerd who is obsessed with masturbating to pictures of scantily-clad elves in their parents' basement is a role-playing nerd, for example, whereas a nerd is who is obsessed with Encyclopedia Dramatica and LJDrama is a drama whore nerd. Nerds that spend all their time immersed in a particular canon work or fandom are fangirls, even if they are male. In this latter instance, fangirls are divided up even further based on their chosen fandom — Star Trek nerds are called "Trekkies", Lord of the Rings nerds are called "Ringers", and so on. Other major nerd species include, but are not limited to, nerds who compulsively update their OL journals (alternately called "bloggers" and LJ users); nerds who spend all their time writing slashfic ("slashers"); nerds who go to every convention in a 1,000-mile radius ("regulars"); nerds who cannot get off without looking at girls being raped by tentacles ("otaku", or sick fucks); and nerds who live out their fantasy lives through bad fanfic writing ("Suethors"). Some nerds just know, through some mystical sense that they can't quite put their finger on, that they are very special. If they are lucky enough to be the children of new age hippies, they might be labeled Indigo Children.

A nerd will also try to redeem their integrity by making whiny, passive-aggressive entires on Urban Dictionary, Uncyclopedia etc. Nerds convince themselves into a delusion that making self-adulating statements to strangers on the internet is helping their case. They also have a false, self-regarding sense of superiority that is an obvious defense mechanism stemming from the bitterness of being chosen last in gym class. True geniuses such as Nikola Tesla are rolling over in their graves over a nerd's delusion that overindulging in non-important activities (video games, anime etc) is a hallmark of astronomical intelligence. But of course, their social ineptitudes and self-diagnosed Aspergers are entirely the faults of people who have actually had sex before. Due to being locked in their bedrooms covered by black bedsheets, a nerd is entirely unaware of the contingent of non-nerds who have also accomplished great things.

Warhammer Nerds[edit]

Warhammer Nerds are like any other nerds in the way that they have no hope of ever getting laid, but they are also different because they contribute to society. Warhammer Nerds contribute to society because they have high paying jobs due to their need for money for Warhammer where each plastic tank costs at least $70.

A typical YouTube nerd

This makes Warhammer different from other nerd activities like World of Warcraft where 40 year old virgins in their parents' basements not making any contribution towards society. Warhammer Nerds work for the greater good by leaving their houses, getting jobs, and rapidly advancing the career ladder to get $300 for a plastic artillery battery.

Many Warhammer Nerds play Warhammer 40,000.

Hipsters have been stealing nerd culture and turning it cool, hip, and even ironic. Nerds are now at risk of being confused with people who care more about how they look then about science or science ficition. Beware!

Political Nerds[edit]

There is nothing worse than coming across a Political Nerd. Political nerds believe they are unquestionable political pundits despite a lack any of knowledge of the topic at hand. Often the extent of their political knowledge is from a post by someone on a forum or a video created as a joke. Over 9000 nerds are libertarians.

Mating Habits[edit]

A prime example of Wikipedia Nerd.

Most have no mating habits since they are incapable of copulation. Exceptions are the band nerds, who are the rabbits of the nerd world because of their uncontrollable hornyness and that they've long given up on the loser idea that they're mother was telling them the truth about how good looking they are and capable of landing themselves someone popular like a cheer leader. A lot like an immigrant in a cheese line, Band nerds have learned to take it when it's given and that's why some of them can even beat the rapiest football player when it comes to quantity.
Biologically it should be noted that all nerds have vestigial behaviors related to mating in their evolutionary past. Sociologists and Psychologists are still in debate if this behavior is instinctual or one that is learned.

Nerds on YouTube[edit]

The typical nerd... expressing daily life.

AndrewTheFag's First Gaming Dildo

Previous Video | Next Video

King of Nerds[edit]

Erotic Joe of Shinra Online, LUE and other sites is the one true Crowned King Of The Nerds. Having pulled the mystical Dildo of legend from Girlvinyl's ass and uniting the twelve tribes of nerdland into one large D & D Afterschool group focused on world domination, he has fulfilled the legends as they were written. All across North America he has left a trail of satisfied lady-nerds. He is what all nerds strive to be because he can throw a ball in a direction other than straight at the ground. He can install a telecommunications network and explain it without resorting to making someone feel stupid. He can talk you through changing out a water pump on a '77 Oldsmobile Toronado. He has influenced other nerds to leave their basement and take up residence in the light. He has even begun a wave of terror against Jocks and regular men. By secretly adding additives into beer and fast food that lowers a man's sperm count and testorine levels then secretly hiding the antidote in Asthma inhalers, Erotic Joe has ensured that the nerd males will soon be the only breeding male population on Earth.
Erotic Joe is and will always be the one, true king of the nerds.

LOL IM SUCH A NERD XD[edit]

LOL I SURCH A NEEERD.

Recently, faggots have started to consider it cool to call themselves 'nerds'. These people are never nerds.

Go on AIM, and talk to a chick. It's all going so well, but than you ask her what she's doing. She responds "Im reading Wikipedia. LOL IM SUCH A NERD!!1" You than respond with a simple "lol" which really means, you are the most average, non-interesting fuckup I have ever talked to.

Some theorize that this behavior is actually a form of defense mechanism for insecure people who are concerned what their peers might think of their interests, and that by suffixing the phrase 'LOL IM SUCH A NERD!!!1' or some variation thereof after Facebook statuses about such things they might avoid mockery and scorn from their shitheel cronies by having pre-emptively made a jibe at themselves. Others think that it's just because they're faggots.

Nerds who succeed in life[edit]

NO Joke, No FAIL, NO SHIT. Consult the megacorporate hi-tech gurus Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, and former vice president Al Gore rank high in nerdiness, he claims to invented the INTRNTZ.

Gallery of Nerdum[edit]

Gallery of Nerd About missing Pics

Japanese import video game nerd. He'll never get laid.
Old nerd
Every cool kid needs the Nerd Friend to show off how charitable he is.
The rare hot nerd.

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Examples of nerds in the wild. Specifically zb and Billf.
Nerd convention!
Nerd Convention, in some basement.
Even nerds have standards.
Doom 3 nerd.
Some nerd having nerdish fun.
If you have all of these figures in their original packaging you might be a nerd.
Virgin for life
A ritual done each and every morning
Stupid Nerd girls and their cone tits.
A social justice nerd with trans issues.
Serious business nerd is serious.