Verne Troyer
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Verne Troyer born sometime in 1968 or 1969, stood 2 feet 8 inches because he suffered from Cartilage-hair hypoplasia, was twice the man that you'll ever be and is most famous for his role as Mini-Me in the Austin Powers series and for pissing in potted plants on MTV's The Surreal Life when he was drunk.
Troyer was given life's big ban hammer 21 April 2018 at the age of 49. No reason has been given as of yet for his passing but some e-reporters are speculating that it may have been from either suicide or an accidental overdose while conspiracy nut jobs are blaming everything from Our great and mighty god emperor to R. Lee Ermey wanting a manlier Teddy-Bear to snuggle with when he's put in his coffin.
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Early Life[edit]
Verne Troyer was born in Sturgis, Michigan which is just south of "You ain't ever getting out of here" and to the north of "You're here til you die. Accept it."
Probably because his parents were drunks, going in an out of jail or just didn't give a fuck, Troyer spent most of his early life with his Amish grandparents in Centreville, Michigan and didn't know what a flushing toilet was until he started school. Wanting him to maintain his Amish lifestyle, even in school, and not succumb to the evils of the civilized world, Verne Troyer was ordered not to flush the toilets.
As most could predict, Verne hated school. He prefered working on the farm with his grandparents. Despite his avoidance of going to school, Verne was still able to do one better than you and graduated from Centreville High School in 1987.
Because of his small stature, Troyer's first film role was as a stunt double for a 9-month old baby in the 1994 movie "Baby's Day Out".
The Making Of A Hollywood Legend[edit]
According to Mike Myers, when they originally scripted Mini-Me in "The Spy Who Shagged Me", Mini-Me was meant to be nothing more than a one time joke. Some fans have speculated that Dr. Evil was supposed to see Mini-Me as a failed clone and either shoot him right there or dump him into the soul sucking, lifeless, icy void and vacuum of space.
According to Troyer during a 2016 Oprah interview, it was when he was in costume and doing light rehearsals that Myers actually started liking the character of Mini-Me. It first stated as just an experiment, with Myers saying let's try this scene with Mini-Me, or Myers saying something like, "Wouldn't this whole scene be a lot funnier if it was Mini-Me that was kicking my ass and not Dr. Evil or some guard?".
"Before I knew it," Troyer said, "I had become a major part of the movie without even knowing it"
Reactions To Verne Troyer's Death[edit]
Former Girfriend Ranae Shrider/Shephard Says Verne's Soul Is Rotting In Hell[edit]
Recently converted and an obvious expert in Christianity Ranae Shephard, who dated Verne Troyer in 2008 and also did a Paris Hilton style fuck flick with him, has said that she is concerned about Verne's eternal soul and fears that he won't be able to get into The Kingdom Of Heaven that is promised to everybody because he didn't "Really" believe in her god.
Having found Jesus shortly after her making a Fuck Flick with Troyer in 2008, Shephard has said the she fears Verne's soul will be lost, forever, "In Eternity" because he wasn't baptized.
"Please Pray for Verne", Ranae Asked. "Verne had no Idea that baptism and faith in Christ are the one and only path to salvation. Maybe, together, we can still save his soul through our prayers."
Despite all her Bible bashing and religion pushing, Ranae is best remembered for saying, "Verne is a fucking tripod that never quits, " when she was asked about his sexual prowess in 2008.
An Hero[edit]
According to sources close to Verne Troyer, Troyer had 3 times the legal limit of Alcohol in his system when he was rushed to the hospital where he never recovered when his liver committed suicide shortly after making an official statement to the press comprising of, "Fuck this! I ain't putting up with this shit no more".
When Troyer called 911, he had commented to the operator that he was both suicidal and in distress.
While under hospital care, Troyer became unresponsive and was put on life support when his organs started failing. Troyer's vital signs kept deteriorating until he was finally taken off of life support and an official Ban-hammer was declared.
There are some theories that other drugs may have had some assistance in Troyer's death but there has yet to be a release of his official toxicology results.
Suicide, Depression, Dwarves and Hollywood[edit]
According to The Little People Of America, Dwarfism is a medical or genetic condition that results in an adult height of less than 4 feet 10 inches. The condition of dwarfism can cause many orthopedic and other conditions that lead to chronic pain, surgeries and reliance on drugs/pill popping.
Even more, Dwarfism has the highest rate of depression and suicide per capita due to their development of psychological issues from people seeing them as a walking punchline or Bully Fodder because their diminutative stature all to often has the side effect of the biggest of pussies realizing that even they can be brave when your target weighs as much as a kid.
Verne Troyer is the most recent of Hollywood's dwarves to committ suicide.
- David Rappaport: The first Little Person to ever star in their own TV series, CBS' The Wizard, committed suicide at 38
- Herve Villechaize: Best known as Tattoo on Fantasy Island committed suicide at 50.
- Henry Nasiff Jr: Better known as Hank The Drunken Dwarf on Howard Stern slowly killed himself through alcohol abuse.
- The most famous of all of Hollywood's Suicide of a Little Person was recorded in the filming of The Wizard Of Oz.
Cremated[edit]
Verne Troyer's family plans to have him cremated, so that Fanboys won't dig him up in the middle of the night to tear him apart and sell him piece by piece on E-bay. The most likely reason for the cremation is that Verne's family fears that the Devil will want to turn him into a soulless Zombie that will be forced to walk the Earth as a decaying baby-man until the second coming of Jesus for the sin of his suicide.
After his cremation, Verne will be returned to his home state of Michigan in the ashtray of a limo.
Verne's cause of death is currently being listed as deferred on his death certificate as toxicology tests have not been completed.
External Links[edit]
See Also[edit]
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Verne Troyer is part of a series on Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage. |
| Verne Troyer is part of a series on Dying Alone
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